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Write a humorous story about the descendant of someone remembered for an insignificant act.

Posted in Funny on Mar 30, 2021

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✍️ 71 stories

Document 779101

Submitted to Contest #57

“Yeah, my grandfather was a bit of a photographer,” Carson said, shrugging his shoulders. He tried not to blush at Scarlett’s scrutinising gaze while he removed ‘Illustrations of a Broken Man’ from his rucksack. “This is his book.”“Someone you’re related to wrote a book?” Scarlett asked, raising a plucked eyebrow. “Sorry if I don’t believe it, Carlton.”“It’s… it’s Carson,” Carson said, but Scarlett ignored him and snatched the book from his hands. Carson kicked his legs together as she stared at the cover. It wasn’t the prettiest book, he kn...

83 likes 43 comments 43
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Nut Judge

Submitted to Contest #57

Let’s go,The honorable court and the idiotic judge may we rise.I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten how they say it, okay, it goes;“All rise for the Honorable judge,”Just as I thought.We are seated here today to witness the welcoming of a national hero, a man with due honor, a man that should most definitely be coronated king of the village instead of that foolish, senseless, no good, fish-head 'chief' that does nothing but develop the village, building roads, giving potable water, providing free schooling, promoting local businesses, cheaper food...

55 likes 108 comments 108
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Bananas and Womanhood

Submitted to Contest #57

You’re probably heard of my mother. Her name was Anneliese, Ana for short, but that won’t ring a bell for you. With an exaggerated sigh she’d mention people back at school called her Ban-Ana, and suddenly you’d be guffawing uncontrollably. “You’re the girl who’s birthday party was a total flop! Literally!” “Ban-Ana, you want a banana?” “Oh, wait, you’re just going to use it to make disgusting perfume!” Let me tell you how it all started with my mother. . . from the very beginning. There she was, twelve, liv...

50 likes 15 comments 15
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Charlie Casanova

Submitted to Contest #57

“Simon Dias? The Simon Dias, is your grand uncle?” the gentleman sitting opposite him asked obviously intrigued. “Shhh! Not so loud, we are in a library for goodness sake!” whispered Shehan, regretting having blurted his ancestor's name out by mistake.“My word! I can't believe I am sitting with the grand nephew of Simon Dias!” replied the man.“Oh! Gosh here we go again, why couldn't you just keep your big mouth shut, you are such a blabber mouth!” Shehan thought to himself, cursing silently.“Yes, Simon Dias is my grand uncle!” Shehan co...

49 likes 14 comments 14
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Remembrance

Submitted to Contest #57

Mr Jayadev Narayan woke up feeling crankier than usual. He lay in bed, pondering over what made him so angry so early in the morning, when he turned and his eyes focused on the date, glaring in neon from the alarm clock.Of course. The eighteenth of December.Mr Narayan hated the eighteenth of December. He normally used to get away to his sister’s house at least a week before, but she had recently moved to California (a better work opportunity, Mr. Narayan vaguely remembered her saying), and she hadn't outright said he couldn’t come, but she h...

43 likes 12 comments 12
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Nudge it a little

Submitted to Contest #57

"Just nudge it a little…""It won't fit.""Turn it to your left.""That's it, maxed out. Try lowering it on your end.""Oh fuck stop, stop…"The breather was a welcomed change of pace. They carried the desk all the way to the ground floor but here the hallway narrowed a bit. It jammed."We nicked that wall. ""Yeah, I know. It's fine, tomorrow I'll paint the shit. Let's just get this over with.""Ok, I'll start lifting my end. Let's try and push it over the railing.""Oh, fucking stairwell. Why does it dip right fucking here? What asshole designed th...

42 likes 6 comments 6
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Grandpa Joe & His Tobacco

Submitted to Contest #57

Grandpa Joe Willoughby was the best tobacco spitter in Oklahoma City. This is what my papa told me. He told me he was a hard man who loved his moonshine and his horses. But what my Grandpa loved the most was his participation in The Annual Tobacco Spitting Competition. They say he could shoot that stuff out his mouth fast and far. My papa told me he watched my grandpa kill a man in a local bar using his tobacco spitting technique. No, wait a minute, I’m sorry. Papa told me he killed three men in a bar using his tobacco spitting techniques. H...

41 likes 23 comments 23
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Ancestors And Who They Were

Submitted to Contest #57

    DISCLAIMER: Everything I write is fiction. Nothing in here is true, I just have a weird imagination.  “Cheryl Hamorgale! Get down here now!” Abby yelled up the stairs.     “Goodness, mother! I’m coming!” Cheryl stomped down the stairs, “Mother, you scream so loud people can probably hear you in Antartica, and we live in Illinois!”  “Oh be quiet, eat your breakfast.” Abby placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of Cheryl.    “Mother. Did you save your throw up and put it in a bowl for...

36 likes 4 comments 4
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A Life Changing Shoehorn Discrepancy

Submitted to Contest #57

John Schaufensterscheibe immigrated to Canada in 1793 with his young wife Gerta. John was an inventor and a visionary - he loved to tinker with things. He loved to make wooden items - everything from surprises for die kinder (the children) - to decorative nutcrackers - to handheld corn seeders and mortar and pestles - just everyday things: nothing too fancy or modern.  After a busy day of working the fields John would dread having to bend over to take off his muddy shoes, especially since he was a very tall man, so one day he used ...

33 likes 24 comments 24
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Master Kragon, Trollhead Bowler

Submitted to Contest #57

Kragon’s axe dripped with hot dwarven blood. His own blood raged within, filling his heart with the thrill of combat. He breathed in heavy breaths, falling to an aggressive stance, ready to face the remaining warriors… but they dropped their weapons and fled. “Cowards!” he bellowed and threw his axe after them. The double-edged steel monstrosity rammed itself into a tree trunk, clipping the tip of a dwarf’s helmet, causing the man to triple down on the running. The rest of the orcs came up to Kragon, their weapons clean as the day they were ...

32 likes 7 comments 7
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Lady bug🐞

Submitted to Contest #57

"Hey, bug.I don't look up. I'm not dealing with this today."Hey, ladybug."Ok, let me get something straight.I'm a boy. Eighth graders just have small imaginations. Also, just because my dad got into the newspaper for finding a huge fly, doesn't mean I care about bugs. Newspapers are seriously slacking on reporting interesting news."CJ, take your head of your desk." Mr. Dellow commands.I roll my eyes, and sit up.Class is almost over. Just five more minutes, and I can go see Will.Who is Will? My boyfriend for over a year.Well, first you should...

31 likes 8 comments 8
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The Young Prince

Submitted to Contest #57

Kix keeps running from the drunkard men chasing him. He wins their money for three rounds of "dice and doodles" gambling game. They called him a cheat and wanted their money back."It's not even one round how could you call me a cheat?" He said bragging his awesomeness in gambling. The drunk men riles up and get him but his instinct is always right as it is always happening each time he gambles.He enters a narrow alley and slips out. "Hahaha! I guess those men got a lot more money to lose at me. I think I'm going back," he said playing toss w...

30 likes 11 comments 11
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Stains of Shame

Submitted to Contest #57

As the morning sun began spreading its light along the quiet, cobblestone streets, a chorus of songbirds began their morning serenade. The blanket of fog that had accumulated over the course of the night had settled overtop the gently sloping lands surrounding the ancient town of Cing, giving the area a pervasively ethereal ambiance.Thomas pulled the brim of his dark hat further over his eyes, shielding them from the growing intensity of the orange rays. His pace remained steady as he followed the stone pathway leading to the towering main g...

30 likes 11 comments 11
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Bubbles

Submitted to Contest #57

“Hey, Bubbles!” Dave shouted to the guy across campus. The guy looked towards us and raised his hand in acknowledgment before continuing on his way. I looked at Dave, confused. “Bubbles?” I said. “What? You don’t know Bubbles?” He asked. I shook my head. “You should talk to him. He’s a great guy. Makes one hell of a snowcone.” “Okay, but why is he called ‘Bubbles’ exactly?” Dave smirked. “Go ask him. Trust me, it’s a good story.” It didn’t seem like he was going to give me any more information, so I didn’t bother asking. I glanced at t...

29 likes 5 comments 5
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In Memorial, Bushington

Submitted to Contest #57

      We don’t know whether or not he’s dead, but we all miss Bushington, so we, after a family meeting in the basement, decide to have a memorial service in the backyard.   We go to the supermarket (around the corner) to buy flowers and bring them to the backyard.   Then, Mommy and Daddy light a memorial candle and we take a moment of silence for Bushington.  Daddy says a short prayer.          Then, we talk about all the memor...

29 likes 4 comments 4
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