“Include the line “Have we met before?” in your story.”

Sometimes A, “Blind”-Date Can See Much Better

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived an old man named Blue-Blind-Bobby, but most people just called him Blue for short, except not for, “long.” Now, for long they called him, “Blind-Beggar Bobby. Now, for short they called him Triple B, but not for long though. For long they called him Amaurosis Bulbusoculi. Of course, his biggest problem was he couldn’t see without his glasses.

Then when he put them on a table to wipe them off, they fell on the floor as his friend came to his door. Instead of picking them up right away, he left his precious good eyes where they had fallen to answer it. His friend got into some deep conversations, then after his company had left, he accidently knocked them off onto the floor, then stepped on them. Without them, a bat had perfect vision by comparison, so did your typical lounge chair. His wife, Amy-Joe, or A. J. as her friends called her, wasn’t any better because she had a major astigmatism in both of her eyes so it meant that she was no help to Blue. Since their other senses were quite keen, they managed to get along pretty well in spite of both their visual difficulties. Now, their biggest problem was neither of them was what could be considered rich by any means, but if you would ask them, they’d both say, “We’re, ‘rich’ like a 4-flavored milkshake and, ‘rich’ in Spirit, which is a lot more than can be said about you.” Since they were both born into poverty, they knew no other kind of lifestyle. As a matter of face, they were beyond poor. In ubonicks, they were actually, “po’e,” and that did not mean like Edger Allen, “Poe” either. Everybody on both slides of their family was, for lack of a better term, "financially-challenged.” In other words, they were broke like a convict, and nobody could, “fix” them.

Then while Blue was walking his dog, (a pretty Labrador retriever), he stopped at the street corner and held his dog up high, then turned her around so she could face every direction that surrounded him. That confused a woman who was walking by and saw him do that to the dog, so she went over to Blue and asked, “What were you doing to that sweet dog?”

That’s when Blue said, “We’re just looking around. Have we met before ? Your voice sounds familiar. Who are you?”

“I’m Amy-Joe,” replied the young lady with a scowl on her face, “My job is working for the A. S. P. C. A.. Write down A. S. P. C. A. if you know how to spell it. Oh, I’m sorry. The thing is I just despise seeing, or hearing about any animals being mistreated. Every one of them has feelings, believe it or not. I love all kinds of animals. If you’ll treat them nicely, they’ll treat you the same way because what goes around,”

“Yeah, yeah. I have heard that my whole life.” interrupted

B. B. E.. “That's all, ‘bull.’ It’s just, ‘udder’-ly ridiculous. Have we met before? If we have, I do not like you any more than I did the first time it happened! Now, I will bid you a bad day!”

“Yes, I remember you quite well.” replied Amy Joe, who happened to be a police officer, “It seems to me that you’re the nerd that I arrested for throwing those dogs into the river, trying to drown them and then got upset when you realesed they are great swimmers. You also tried to throw cats upside down and got mad when they landed on their paws.” sneered the officer in a sarcastic tone of voice as he cuffed the man. “Before that, we had you arrested for 6 bank robberies, 2 kidnappings, 5 embezzlement charges, 4 grand thefts for stealing different Mercedes Benzes and 4 50-foot yachts, then lying under oath and denying all those charges. It looks like you’re going to be here for quite some time, my friend, and you can see just fine.” Then he shined a light in the so-called, “blind-man’s” face which made him jerk away.

“Now you can also add lying under oath onto that list of accusations,” continued the warden while shaking his head quite disgustedly at him. "So if you’re feeling froggy, I can’t stop you from jumping, I can only make you wish that you hadn’t done it. Welcome to jail, prison, ‘The Slammer,’ ‘Lock-Up,’ ‘The Hoosegow,’ ‘The Crowbar Hotel,’ ‘The Hacksaw Hilton,’ ‘The Slammer,’ ‘The Big-House,’ yet you can now call it, ‘home,’ my friend. Yet you’ve got it made since you’ll get 3 free meals a day and the state of Virginny will pay your rent. Blue is a good name for you because you just, ‘blew’ any chance for ever making it out of this fine resort alive. There’s no parole. Also even though I am the, ‘war’-don, I don’t want to see no fighting here. Get it? That’s a pun,-son! As of right now it's, ‘ba'r’ season for you! Ha! ha! Ha! Ha!”

He was sent to prison, which was where he belonged. Then the judge, who’d almost thrown the key away, finally found it so then he let him out. That was when he met Ms. Right. Actually, she was an author which meant she was literally, “Ms., ‘Write’ ” in more ways than one. They dated a while and eventually got, like a mule to a plow, "hitched." The following year they blessed the world with a junior author and pastor who would some day in the near future be able to change the world, at least a little bit for as many people as he could touch with all of his terrific talents and blessings. At any rate, they grew up and each one helped to change the world all for the better and for everybody he was able to touch with his many special blessings he had received. So at any rate, like the best-written stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

“THEY ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!!!"

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The end.

By, Cuz Roye.