I Don't Like Your Hair (Inspired by George Orwell)

Fiction Crime

Written in response to: "Write about a character who’s always thinking of things they’ll say to people, but who ends up saying very little when they finally get the chance." as part of He Said, She Said.

SHOUTOUT TO COCO LONGSTAFF SHE'S AMAZING!!!! CHECK HER OUT AT https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/coco-longstaff/


When James woke up in the morning, he did not speak to his fellow Workers. No one spoke, because to speak your mind is to sin. James tried to keep his mind as blank as he could but the unspoken sins kept rising up to meet him.


There were 100 people in the room, their beds lined up in columns. James' was on the column closest to the right wall, so he saw the beds of everyone else. He wanted to tell them to go back to bed, that it was too early, but it was already ten minutes into their breakfast time.


James lifted his legs to the side of the bed and straightened his back as he had always done. He put on his shoes and let his shirt fall onto his back. James used to hate those clothes, with their disgusting off-white colors. At first, he'd tried to wear his own, but then by some change of heart, he found that he loved them. He still didn't know why. His best guess was that the Leaders didn't think he needed the information.


All the men walked in a line out of the bedroom to the dining hall while James thought about his unspoken sins. Your hair is too long, he thought about the man to his left, I don't like your face, he thought about another. None of the men could hear his crimes, but he tried to make them known of his distaste.


It's dark today. Do we have to go out when it's dark? James knew it was a horrible crime to wish not to work, not to contribute to the Workforce, but who could punish him for his thoughts??


"You're too stinky, I don't like your eyes, your nose is disgusting, All of you look horrible and ugly." Everyone looked at him with shock, but James kept spooning green beans onto his platter. Only when he turned around did he realize he'd committed his last sin for all to see.


Don't speak of it, James said with his eyes. That was the only way the Workers communicated, and a very effective one at that. The other Workers turned away and continued to eat their beans.


At 5:00 in the morning, all the men filed out to the streets and began their work. It was a tedious task, the one assigned to them., keeping the streets clean. There was a shed at each intersection with brooms and blowers, and every day the Workers took their tools from there. The streets had wide sidewalks so there was more space to clean but they got up early so they could finish before dinner.


James worked on the 260th quadrant of town, where the leaves were gray and shriveled. They crumbled whenever he tried to sweep them up, which was a pain, but he made do. Through all of his years as a Worker, he had learned the correct way to hold a broom, with your lower hand pressing down and your upper pressing up. It made work a little more bearable.


James liked to think of the other Workers as shrimp, dancing across the stones in the sidewalk. It was a curse, his brain, his damned creativity, but it was funny. He had to stifle a laugh every now and then so as not to become a Pupil at the Reeducation Institute. If you spoke out of line, it was simply ration cuts. For a laugh, you got pain.


The first time that a laugh drifted into James' ears was a long time ago, he couldn't tell how long. It had been business as usual and James' head wasn't crowded with the sins it was today. He had gone to his corner with a broom, prepared for a hard day of work. Back then, he had a partner. It was a stout man, with a rough beard. Few Workers had beards. The man had committed a heinous crime, one that even James dared not to commit: He had whistled. It was a horrible treachery but James couldn't help himself. He opened his ears to the man's whistling and let it warm him up.


A few weeks after the man's offense, James had come upon his corner one day to find that he was alone. There was no partner, no musical lilt in the air. It had been long enough, and they reeducated him. James couldn't cry, no, because he hadn't really known the man, but he did feel sick to his stomach. He refused his extra portions and even starved himself.


In the darkness, as James lay in bed trying to fall asleep, a voice came to him. It wasn't any voice that he'd heard before, but a deep voice. The words rang out in front of him, the stops and fricatives rolling into his ears. Who are you? He pondered over the voice, then found himself at a sudden halt. His words weren't their own, no, but the voice spoke them.


James wanted to scream, to rip the voice from his brain, but then a warmth settled over him. It was an odd feeling, something entirely new to him but not unknown. He settled into the voice, realizing its entirety. The deep tones had felt odd in his mind, but he now felt a kinship to them. The voice was not any voice but James' voice. It was the first time James had heard a voice.


You have a deep voice... I... I have a deep voice. James felt the word 'I', the new meaning shocking his brain. He had never thought of himself in the individual before. Did his thoughts echo through the minds of others? I like cheese. I don't like your hair. I really hate mice. James tested it out, thought all horrible things about all manners of people, but they never responded or even glanced at him. He was free in his mind, free to speak and to insult and to prefer and to love and to cherish and to hate. It was his own, the mind, and he found that he loved it. There was nothing that could make him separate from it.

Posted Jan 11, 2021
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94 likes 1071 comments

Nainika Gupta
January 14, 2021 23:00

hey! just took your writing quiz :D:D:D:D

Reply

Hello would you mind helping me out with a prophecy?

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. .
January 14, 2021 20:29

Ofc!! What is it about?

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well, its for my story aiden bennett and the reality shifters, which is about a bunch of people who have the powers to manipulate reality. It's gotta mention going to new york, and treachery. Thanks! Need any more info?

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. .
January 14, 2021 21:03

No, I think that's good. How about this:

The threads of the world be overthrown
The pains recalling a somber tone
The ivory tower above the rest
the city where shall live the blessed

A fish out of water, a flame out of air
The souls of the enemies shall soon be bare
The heat of the evil burning above
In the land of the lions flies the dove

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OH MY GOSH its perfect!
Thank you so much!

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. .
January 14, 2021 21:19

No problem!! I love making them.

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Nainika Gupta
January 14, 2021 20:15

PART 5 IS OUT

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Megan Sutherland
January 14, 2021 19:02

Luke are you ready to play Among Us??

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Up Voter
January 14, 2021 17:09

I need help...https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/proveme-wrong/
Check their comments!

Reply

. .
January 14, 2021 17:17

I will... its horrible that there are so many of theseeeeeee

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Up Voter
January 14, 2021 17:19

Ugh...I know :( I guess people are really upset about upvoting. I mean they kinda do make sense in their comments but idk.

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:20

I really think that they don't deserve to criticize usssss bc they haven't even posted

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Up Voter
January 14, 2021 17:26

Yea, that's trueee

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:27

Why are all of these popping up now??

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:02

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! probably that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (My Good Luke Charm, right?????????????)

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:02

OMG YASSSSSS IM YOUR GOOD LUKE CHARM!!!! AND YOU'RE MY SELF CRITIQUE!!!

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:03

YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are SUCH besties........ if there's, like, an award for that, it's ours no question

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:04

YAS!!!! THERE SHOULD BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:05

TOTALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:05

TOTALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:08

:DDDDDDDDDDDD

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Ari Berri
January 14, 2021 16:04

Thanks for putting me in your bio!

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. .
January 14, 2021 16:05

ESCUSE OF COURSE!!!

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Ari Berri
January 14, 2021 16:08

:D

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. .
January 14, 2021 16:08

:DDD

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Nainika Gupta
January 14, 2021 12:36

you
uh
didn't change it
.....
(your puzzle)

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. .
January 14, 2021 12:46

I willllllllllll

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Nainika Gupta
January 14, 2021 13:15

yay!!
brain...smart....person
fountain...
is that a...city???

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. .
January 14, 2021 13:16

It's a skyscraperrrrrr

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Nainika Gupta
January 14, 2021 13:18

:D
ok....classic or non-classic

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. .
January 14, 2021 13:21

Could be considered a classic

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January 14, 2021 05:12

Hey Litlover! (Can I call you Lit?)

This is such a beautiful story, and I loved your phenomenal writing, and I'm glad I came across your profile ;) The ending was super-amazing too, and I'm left speechless!

Also, I'd like to join the Marshmallows! I'm very supportive of authors that get downvoted, and want this toxic chain to end.

I read your bio, and I'd love to hear about your story TOV! I'm very much into different worlds, and I'm sure it's great.

(Is the emoji puzzle related to Taming of the Shrew?)

Lots of love,
Sythe

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. .
January 14, 2021 12:54

You can call me Luke!! Thanks so much!! I really loved writing this. Awwwwwww, you're so sweet!! Basically TOV stands for Tapestry of Varnala, Varnala being the mother goddess of Kuremor the land where the story takes place. She weaves together the threads of being into a tapestry which creates the world. Basically, it's about six strands that were stolen from her tapestry and brought to Kuremor in the form of swords, each with a different power. Now Varnala is asking for them back, and an Ashin (Like monkey people) and her friends have to bring them to the Moon Temple in a circle of mountains where once every 250 years, Varnala appears. Its about their quest through the Lirelian forest (where the primordial sword is) the Nix-land (Underwater city and where the Light/Darkness sword is) a kingdom of men (Where the time sword is, and they have to wage war to steal it from the king or something like that) The Devil's Well (Where the Omniscience/Omnipresence sword is and where they might lose their sanity) Grumilda's horde (Where they have to rip out the strength sword from her teeth bc Grumilda's a monster) and the city of the Thaltrolls where they have to get the space sword. (No it isn't I forgot to change it)

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January 14, 2021 15:20

Well then, Luke :) (I've been binging Star Wars recently so your name reminds me of Luke Skywalker XD)

It was my pleasure :)

Wow, what a cool story! Sounds like a great ploy, and I'm sure I'd love to read the book someday! I LOVE a complicated plot with twists, and world-building, so...!

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. .
January 14, 2021 15:23

Ha I have a really funny story about that, my dad named me after Luke Skywalker XD.

Yeah, TOV is reallllllllll complicated and I want it to be as intricate as Lotr, but I'm not going to be mainly a fantasy writer, bc I like contemporary and emotional stories. I'm glad you enjoyed the idea!!

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January 15, 2021 01:01

No way, that's like, parenting level hipster!
Woah, best of luck! Well, whatever you choose, I'm sure you'd be great at it :) I guess I'm into fanatasy, but prefer to write paranormal instead because my heart is in the modern world and era, and honestly, I just love contemporary. And emotional, that's my favourite genre to read!

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. .
January 15, 2021 01:02

Yeah :) Thanks a ton, Sythe, back at you.

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January 14, 2021 02:22

Litlover, just so you know, 4 Agatha Christie series are Ms. Marple, Tommy and Tuppence, Hercule Poirot, and I think stand alones, tho I'm not sure:) I adore Agatha Christie!!! And for a shot at the characters in And Then There Were None, I can't remember them all, but there are Vera Claythorne someone named Armstrong, Dr. Justice Wargrave, Emiluy Brent, and prob other people but I can't remember them:)

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. .
January 14, 2021 12:57

OMG YASSSS!!! I think that Superintendent Battle is another one. YASSS I LOVE AGATHA CHRISTIE SO MUCH!!!! The ten and then there were none peeps, I have memorized them, are Lawrence Wargrave, Emily Brent, General Macarthur, Dr. Armstrong, Vera Claythorne, Philip Lombard, Detective Blore, Mr. and Mrs. Rogers, and Anthony Marston. SO HAPPY TO FIND ANOTHER SUPERFAN!!!

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January 14, 2021 14:57

Yes!!!

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January 14, 2021 14:57

Yes!!!

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January 14, 2021 14:57

Yes!!!

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. .
January 14, 2021 14:59

I love Agatha Christie soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

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January 14, 2021 15:29

I know! Oops... I accidentally sent that yes three times :)

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. .
January 14, 2021 15:33

That's okay, it happens all the time.

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Amany Sayed
January 14, 2021 01:26

Queen of poetry! I'm so flattered, thank you! :D

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. .
January 14, 2021 12:45

YOU DESERVE IT!!!!

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. .
January 13, 2021 23:51

What??

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This: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/stop-upvoting/

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. .
January 13, 2021 23:58

I knowwwww I told upvoter 20 min agooooo it sucks

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. .
January 14, 2021 00:02

I knowwwwwwww what should we do?

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Veronica Pena
January 13, 2021 17:02

bro you got a long bio about yourself danngggggggg

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. .
January 13, 2021 17:02

I dooooooo that's true

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:46

oooh the Agatha christie one (about the fifth line right??)
we just had a book study about it....
it was the five little soldier boys going in for law, one got into chancery and then there were four....RIGHT???

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:47

Yepppppppppp fineeeeee you get only one shoutout tho I LOVE AND THEN THERE WERE NONE SO MUCH

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:49

yess (sorry one shout out is fine...i just wanted to say it BC i justtttttttt did that study
AND MEE TOOO ITS ONE OF MY FAV BOOKS BY HER
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS IS MY ALL TIME FAV THOUGH....

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:51

WHAT????? I ADORE THE MURDER OF ROGER ACKROYD!!!!

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:53

Well, mkay that’s amazing....

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:53

IT ISSSSSSSS

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:51

ok, so your emoji puzzle is a
a girl that hates the person she eventually falls in love with...right?? romance obviiiiiii hmmm thinking

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:51

XDDDDDDD

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:52

Ghaaa was that a correct guess???!

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:53

Maybeeeee

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:39

Also, how in the sam hill did you unfollow EVERYONE??? XDXDXD

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:39

I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWW IT WAS HORRIBLEEEEEEE

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:40

HAHAHAHAHHAHA
omg, that's terrible
butttt, at least you got it back :D

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:41

XDDD Yes it issss oh I was so stressed

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:43

omg i can imagine
loll whoops :D

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:43

XDDDDD My heart is still calming down I was like NOOOOOOOOOOO

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:38

LUKEEE
YOU ASKED A HORSE TRIVIA QUESTION AND OF COURSE I KNOWWWW

Rocinante IS DON QUIXONTE'S HORSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:39

YASSSSSSSS YOU ARE RIGHT!!!! SHOUTOUT FOR YOU ON MY NEXT STORY!!!!

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:39

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
(Ask more horse trivia bc I know it ALLLL :D:D:D:D)

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:41

XDDDDDDDD I WON'T JUST FOR THAT!!

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Nainika Gupta
January 13, 2021 14:42

....how rude

XDXDXD

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:43

XDXDXD HEHEHEHEHEHEHE I do have some Atlas Shrugged and Anthem ones tho :)

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Megan Sutherland
January 13, 2021 14:18

Why'd u unfollow me? :(

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. .
January 13, 2021 14:18

I'M SORRY I PRESSED A BUTTON AND IT UNFOLLOWED EVERYONEEEEEEE

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Megan Sutherland
January 13, 2021 16:12

oop
Among Us today?
It might have to wait until like 330 because I have stuff I gotta get done :/

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. .
January 13, 2021 16:13

I can't... my phone was confiscatedddddd

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Megan Sutherland
January 13, 2021 18:14

Ughhhhhhhhhhh whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Luke i thought u said u were a good boi XD :(

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. .
January 13, 2021 18:15

I AM I SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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you know what im gonna get you to fifth place. cause youre so close

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. .
January 13, 2021 12:44

OMG THANKS YOUUUUUU

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. .
January 13, 2021 15:01

:DDDDDDDDD

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Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 19:33

What's Malefice's theme song again??? It's k pop...

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. .
January 12, 2021 19:51

I dunno

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Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 20:22

Hwaa by....some group

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Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 20:22

(G)-Idle

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. .
January 12, 2021 20:28

No HWAA is the TOV theme song

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Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 20:30

That's what I meant, lol XD We need a Malefice oneeeee

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✰ Jennie ✰
January 12, 2021 19:10

EIGHTH PLACE WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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. .
January 12, 2021 19:12

WOAHHHHHHHHHHH

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Maya -
January 12, 2021 18:50

Hey Luke, do you want to play Skribble (the online pictionary game) with me and Sapphire and maybe Isaac?

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. .
January 12, 2021 18:53

Sure!! I've never played beforeeeee but okay!!

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Maya -
January 12, 2021 18:53

Yay!!! Here's the link: https://skribbl.io/?L25xaSI0Jjxb

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Maya -
January 12, 2021 18:55

Does it work for you?

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. .
January 12, 2021 18:58

I think so

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Maya -
January 12, 2021 19:19

XD you had more points than me and Isaac combined
Want to play again?

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. .
January 12, 2021 19:20

YAS PLS!!!

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I was downvoted so HELP
Also, congrats on 8th! Getting you to 7th!

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. .
January 12, 2021 18:04

NOOOO OFC I HELP!!! THANKS YOU!!

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Sapphire 🌼
January 12, 2021 17:57

FALSE ALARM IT WAS A PRANK APPARENTLYYY damn i was just about to unleash my rage aww I didn't have a chance to do thatttttt

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. .
January 12, 2021 17:57

XDDDD THAT'S AN OOF

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Sapphire 🌼
January 12, 2021 17:59

Nah I'll just do it on my brother who's prolly just gonna stare at me like I'm a weirdo

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. .
January 12, 2021 18:00

XDDDDDD

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Sapphire 🌼
January 12, 2021 18:01

I feel bad for him XD

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. .
January 12, 2021 18:02

XD Who's your bro?

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Maya -
January 12, 2021 16:11

Upvote spree? :D

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. .
January 12, 2021 16:14

Ofc!!

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Maya -
January 12, 2021 16:17

I'll try to get you up a place today! You're in the top ten!!!

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. .
January 12, 2021 16:17

I AMMMMMMMMM HAPPY

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Maya -
January 12, 2021 16:20

XDDDDDDDD

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. .
January 12, 2021 16:23

XDDDDDDDD

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Aman Fatima
January 12, 2021 13:32

I started reading because its inspired by George Orwell and I've only read his one book 1984 and I love that book. Same goes for your story, I loved it and its quite interesting. Great job. Keep writing!!!

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. .
January 12, 2021 13:33

Thanks so much, Aman!! I loved writing this one.

Reply

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