I Don't Like Your Hair (Inspired by George Orwell)

Fiction Crime

Written in response to: "Write about a character who’s always thinking of things they’ll say to people, but who ends up saying very little when they finally get the chance." as part of He Said, She Said.

SHOUTOUT TO COCO LONGSTAFF SHE'S AMAZING!!!! CHECK HER OUT AT https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/coco-longstaff/


When James woke up in the morning, he did not speak to his fellow Workers. No one spoke, because to speak your mind is to sin. James tried to keep his mind as blank as he could but the unspoken sins kept rising up to meet him.


There were 100 people in the room, their beds lined up in columns. James' was on the column closest to the right wall, so he saw the beds of everyone else. He wanted to tell them to go back to bed, that it was too early, but it was already ten minutes into their breakfast time.


James lifted his legs to the side of the bed and straightened his back as he had always done. He put on his shoes and let his shirt fall onto his back. James used to hate those clothes, with their disgusting off-white colors. At first, he'd tried to wear his own, but then by some change of heart, he found that he loved them. He still didn't know why. His best guess was that the Leaders didn't think he needed the information.


All the men walked in a line out of the bedroom to the dining hall while James thought about his unspoken sins. Your hair is too long, he thought about the man to his left, I don't like your face, he thought about another. None of the men could hear his crimes, but he tried to make them known of his distaste.


It's dark today. Do we have to go out when it's dark? James knew it was a horrible crime to wish not to work, not to contribute to the Workforce, but who could punish him for his thoughts??


"You're too stinky, I don't like your eyes, your nose is disgusting, All of you look horrible and ugly." Everyone looked at him with shock, but James kept spooning green beans onto his platter. Only when he turned around did he realize he'd committed his last sin for all to see.


Don't speak of it, James said with his eyes. That was the only way the Workers communicated, and a very effective one at that. The other Workers turned away and continued to eat their beans.


At 5:00 in the morning, all the men filed out to the streets and began their work. It was a tedious task, the one assigned to them., keeping the streets clean. There was a shed at each intersection with brooms and blowers, and every day the Workers took their tools from there. The streets had wide sidewalks so there was more space to clean but they got up early so they could finish before dinner.


James worked on the 260th quadrant of town, where the leaves were gray and shriveled. They crumbled whenever he tried to sweep them up, which was a pain, but he made do. Through all of his years as a Worker, he had learned the correct way to hold a broom, with your lower hand pressing down and your upper pressing up. It made work a little more bearable.


James liked to think of the other Workers as shrimp, dancing across the stones in the sidewalk. It was a curse, his brain, his damned creativity, but it was funny. He had to stifle a laugh every now and then so as not to become a Pupil at the Reeducation Institute. If you spoke out of line, it was simply ration cuts. For a laugh, you got pain.


The first time that a laugh drifted into James' ears was a long time ago, he couldn't tell how long. It had been business as usual and James' head wasn't crowded with the sins it was today. He had gone to his corner with a broom, prepared for a hard day of work. Back then, he had a partner. It was a stout man, with a rough beard. Few Workers had beards. The man had committed a heinous crime, one that even James dared not to commit: He had whistled. It was a horrible treachery but James couldn't help himself. He opened his ears to the man's whistling and let it warm him up.


A few weeks after the man's offense, James had come upon his corner one day to find that he was alone. There was no partner, no musical lilt in the air. It had been long enough, and they reeducated him. James couldn't cry, no, because he hadn't really known the man, but he did feel sick to his stomach. He refused his extra portions and even starved himself.


In the darkness, as James lay in bed trying to fall asleep, a voice came to him. It wasn't any voice that he'd heard before, but a deep voice. The words rang out in front of him, the stops and fricatives rolling into his ears. Who are you? He pondered over the voice, then found himself at a sudden halt. His words weren't their own, no, but the voice spoke them.


James wanted to scream, to rip the voice from his brain, but then a warmth settled over him. It was an odd feeling, something entirely new to him but not unknown. He settled into the voice, realizing its entirety. The deep tones had felt odd in his mind, but he now felt a kinship to them. The voice was not any voice but James' voice. It was the first time James had heard a voice.


You have a deep voice... I... I have a deep voice. James felt the word 'I', the new meaning shocking his brain. He had never thought of himself in the individual before. Did his thoughts echo through the minds of others? I like cheese. I don't like your hair. I really hate mice. James tested it out, thought all horrible things about all manners of people, but they never responded or even glanced at him. He was free in his mind, free to speak and to insult and to prefer and to love and to cherish and to hate. It was his own, the mind, and he found that he loved it. There was nothing that could make him separate from it.

Posted Jan 11, 2021
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94 likes 1071 comments

Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 03:03

PART 12 OF TDR HAS BEEN POSTED

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. .
January 12, 2021 12:43

OMG YAS

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Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 01:13

New thread because...yeah.

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. .
January 12, 2021 12:44

Hello!!! I think a name ending with i would be good for a space character.

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Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 14:01

Yeah...

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. .
January 12, 2021 14:04

:D

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Mira Caplan
January 12, 2021 14:01

Yeah...

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January 12, 2021 00:07

This story really speaks to me; your style is amazing!

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. .
January 12, 2021 00:18

Thanks so much, Ethan!!

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Maya -
January 11, 2021 17:34

Wow!!! This is awesome! It's definitely has a George Orwell tone, kind of like 1984. It was such a creative idea for the prompt. James was such an interesting character and you portrayed his unusual thoughts really well! I also loved the way it was set in a kind of normal world except for the fact that they couldn't say what they believed out loud. The title is really great, too! Amazing job!!!!! :DDD

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. .
January 11, 2021 17:35

Thanks so much Maya!!!! I really tried to go for his style and I'm glad it came through!! Yeah, James is an anomaly. Thanks youuuuuuuu!!!

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Maya -
January 11, 2021 17:35

No problem! I really enjoyed reading it!!!

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Mira Caplan
January 11, 2021 17:28

................................You'll be a world famous author by 16. No question about it.

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. .
January 11, 2021 17:31

XD That's good to know XDDDDDDDD

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Mira Caplan
January 11, 2021 18:09

I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND AND IT'S OBVIOUS. Just mention me a teensy bit and tell people to read TDR so I'm like...hal as famous as you?

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. .
January 11, 2021 18:10

Of course I will!!!!!

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Mira Caplan
January 11, 2021 18:11

Yay!!! Tolkien IS more famous than C.S.Lewis, anyway...

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. .
January 11, 2021 18:11

Yeah, but that's fineeeeeeeeeee

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February 19, 2021 14:25

Okay let’s seeeeee...
TIME TO GUESS FOR DA EMOJI PUZZLE!
Oki. Uhm. Dead book?? Spell book? Nah, the emoji riddles are usually actual things. Sooo...a book. A coffin and a skull. Ooh! The Graveyard Book? Is that a thing? I think I’ve heard of it but haven’t read it. Uhmmm...actually, nope, that’s all my terrible guesses XD

(Also, don’t mind me, just ruining the perfect 1100 comments on this)

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. .
February 19, 2021 14:30

YERP IT IS!!!! Ohhh that's okayyyyyyyyyy it was too good to be true anyway...

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February 19, 2021 14:51

Yayyyyy!
XD

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. .
February 19, 2021 14:54

XDXD XP

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 22:46

Are the marshmallows not an upvoting group anymore, because of the story "Goodbye" by Upvoter and the alt accounts?
Also, I have a new message on Reedsy in a story.

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. .
January 14, 2021 23:15

Upvoted and I came to a decision and we’re still friends but not upvote police

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 23:17

Good! I agree with what she was saying so...
:DDD Marhamallows forever!!!

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. .
January 14, 2021 23:17

Totally

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 23:19

:D

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Sapphire 🌼
January 14, 2021 21:27

Sorry for bugging you but....whaddya think - https://soundcloud.com/user-383767046

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Marshmallow disband....

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. .
January 14, 2021 20:48

Its been nice being mallows with you... :)

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Are we still friens?
:D it’s been nice to be a mallow with you too :D

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. .
January 14, 2021 20:53

Of course we are!!!

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YAy!
Goodbye, great mallows. Inform the team (team as in the group of friends)

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. .
January 14, 2021 20:54

:D Yes!!

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. .
January 14, 2021 19:25

I knowwww but its true. Reedsy shouldn't be about anything more than writing.

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I understand.
Me too.

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. .
January 14, 2021 19:30

:D

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I think it was International 4-8818? Right? For the Who does Equality 7-2521 find the underground cave with?

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. .
January 14, 2021 19:22

Yeah, fine

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. .
January 14, 2021 19:23

Check my bio

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:54

LUKE HELP I NEED TO EDIT 13 WHAT DO I DO HELP ME PLEASE

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:55

OFC WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:55

The.....thing you said........uh.......the info dumping. How do I not do that????? WHAT DO I CUT OUT OR CHANGE???

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:56

You have to add an emotion behind the infodumping, make it a sad phrase or make someone annoyed when they say it. It makes a lot more sense.

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:56

..........example? :)

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:58

Instead of Raya saying something like "Just like I'm not supposed to love someone that's not a noble." make it "Just like mommy dearest says, I can't love anyone!

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 17:20

Want to play skribble at 2:30, if you're not busy? :)

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:21

Sure!!

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 17:22

Yay!!! Do you want to ask Mira if she wants to join?

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:25

She said yes!!!

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 17:26

Yay!!!!!!!!

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:27

:DDDD

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 17:22

I did the thing you said to do btw.

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:25

Thanks!!

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 17:26

Ofc!

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:02

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! probably that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (My Good Luke Charm, right?????????????)

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 16:59

See how quickly my personality can change? From that long thread to the auburn hair thing... it's kinda scary XD

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. .
January 14, 2021 16:59

Its good to shift gears!! Maybe you're a figment of my own dark feelings, because reality is subjectiveeeeeeee

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:00

....................you have no need for dark feelings, because you are going to be one of the greatest authors of. all. time.
Or what if it's the opposite.....???????

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:01

Maybe I'm your selflove and happy feelings and great ideas

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 17:02

YOU ARE MY GOOD LUKE CHARM BECAUSE...INSPIRATION

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:03

XD Yas!!!

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Sapphire 🌼
January 14, 2021 16:57

OMG I JUST REALISED.....YOUR #5 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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. .
January 14, 2021 16:59

I KNOW I AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM AHHHHHHHHH

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Sapphire 🌼
January 14, 2021 16:59

WE NEED TO GET YOU ON THE TOP 3 AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:00

AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT'D BE SOOOOOO CRAYCRAY

Reply

Sapphire 🌼
January 14, 2021 17:02

OMG WHAT IF WE GET YOU TO #1 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHY AM I FREAKING OUT SO MUCH XDDD

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. .
January 14, 2021 17:03

THAT WOULD BE SOOOOOOOOOO CRAYZ!!!!!!!

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 13:09

Did you see Megan's bio??? 😭😭😭😭😭

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. .
January 14, 2021 13:13

NOOOOOOOOOO SO SADDDDDDDD

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 13:14

Help me upvote her!!!!!

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. .
January 14, 2021 13:15

I WILL TALK TO HERRRRRRRRRR

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 13:15

GOOOOOOD
CONVINCE HER TO STAY!!!

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. .
January 14, 2021 13:17

YASSSS

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Maya -
January 14, 2021 04:33

New story! :D

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Mira Caplan
January 14, 2021 01:58

I SUBMITTED PART 13

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. .
January 14, 2021 12:45

YAYYYYYYYYY

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- -
January 14, 2021 01:39

Helllooooooo, thankss for the follow, I appreciate it :)))

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. .
January 14, 2021 12:58

Nooooooo problem!!

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- -
January 14, 2021 13:00

:DD

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. .
January 14, 2021 13:03

:DDD

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*blows u a kiss*
15000!

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Maya -
January 13, 2021 23:31

Do you mind if I put trivia in my bio? I'll say it was your idea first. :)

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. .
January 13, 2021 23:38

YEah of course, but it was Jennie's idea first.

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Maya -
January 13, 2021 23:40

Okay :D
When I update it you can guess :)

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. .
January 13, 2021 23:40

Ofc!!

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Maya -
January 13, 2021 23:52

I think this might be a downvoter account!
https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/stop-upvoting/
Lol they spell marshmallow wrong :)

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. .
January 13, 2021 23:58

I know I told Upvoter 20 min ago!!

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Unknown User
January 13, 2021 21:44

<removed by user>

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. .
January 13, 2021 21:55

Thanks Iris!!

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Sapphire 🌼
January 13, 2021 18:56

Are you prepared to experience another round of traumatizing drawings from me @2:30?

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. .
January 13, 2021 18:57

YASSS

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Sapphire 🌼
January 13, 2021 18:59

Good but tbh, THE SAUSAGE ONE WAS KINDA OBVIOUS THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY A HOT DOG XDD

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. .
January 13, 2021 19:01

:DDDDDDDD

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Sapphire 🌼
January 13, 2021 19:03

XDDD

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. .
January 13, 2021 19:04

:D

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Mira Caplan
January 13, 2021 16:51

"By January 1933 he was able to pass a full-length manuscript to his friend C.S. Lewis."

..............

This is us

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. .
January 13, 2021 16:52

XDDD YAS IT IS

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Mira Caplan
January 13, 2021 17:02

YEEEEEEEEES!!!

Reply

Mira Caplan
January 13, 2021 17:02

YEEEEEEEEES!!!

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. .
January 13, 2021 17:02

YASSSSSSSSS

Reply

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