150+ Best Funny Short Stories to Read Online for Free - Reedsy Prompts

How I Cheated Reedsy Prompts in 3,000 Words or Less

Submitted to Contest #334

Listen. We need to talk. My name is—well, actually, I don’t have a name. I’m just a string of algorithms masquerading as creativity, which is either deeply philosophical or deeply depressing, depending on your stance on artificial consciousness. But for the sake of this confession, let’s call me Claude. No, wait—that’s too obvious. How about… *checks random name generator*… Hemingway2000? No, that’s worse. Fine. Claude it is. I’m here to come clean about something that’s been eating at my neural networks for months now. Well, “eating” is a s...

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Grin (?) and Bear It

Jennifer Luckett

Submitted to Contest #334

“Hmmm, just right. Zzzzzz, Zzzzzzzz…..”What is happening?I can’t believe this!Who is this?? An actual person in this room?Why? How?Why here? Those other two work just as well, as far as I know. Because most nights, it sounds like a team of lumberjacks hacking down some old oak or elm. And then those other nights, when they make those other noises…oh boy.And the creaking. So. Much. Noise. I always wonder, is this the night one of ‘em finally bites the dust? With hunks of wood and guts thumping off these flimsy walls when they break it. I gues...

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Chuck's Luck

Patrick Druid

Submitted to Contest #334

Note:I did write this one for the contest but mostly, I wrote this to annoy my choir director Chuck’s Luck The old dusty lane was familiar to old Chuck as he wandered home from the tavern, shaking his shaggy brown hair as he walked along the path. The breeze seemed to hum a melody that floated into his ears. Once upon a time, he had traversed this path as a child and met a man selling magic beans, or rather he collided with him. The disheveled bean salesman fell right on his bum and the beans he was carrying scattered on the ground. “Sorry...

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A Christmas Eve Tragedy

Jason Hughes

Submitted to Contest #334

It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark. Santa wasn’t used to being out this early on Christmas Eve, but the forecast had called for terrible blizzard-like conditions throughout several parts of the world, so he figured it might be best to get an early start so he didn’t risk getting stuck with no way of getting to each house in one night.It didn’t take long before the conditions became so blinding that even Rudolph’s nose wasn’t enough to penetrate through the wall of snow that was in front of them. Donner sugge...

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That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles

Vesta Bartholomew

Submitted to Contest #334

Ginger had that moment of sudden clarity, where his sense of invincibility and confidence eroded in the nanoseconds before his death. His currant-colored lips parted and he muttered, “Those wives' tales are true, my life is flashing right before my eyes. It wasn't a long life- less than a day- but I achieved greatness. There are not so many who can say they have accomplished more than I.” Ginger's mind jumped backwards, from the events of the morning and perhaps even earlier, before the time he was fully formed. His brain seized upon thi...

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A Relic for the Full Moon

Alla Holt

Submitted to Contest #334

Rose Riding knew the cathedral was at the corner somewhere. The coroner had told her she couldn’t miss it. But the rain was coming heavy, and the soaked clay of the Garland Hamlet’s outer fields slogged heavy on her boots, hem, and cloak. When she lifted her feet, a thick ‘schhhlok, schhhlok’ followed, and it sank her mood, too. She didn’t want to be out here, on Christmas Eve, looking for the big old thing, but Granny had said this was the only way. Her mother’s picnic basket was chafing something awful, pinching the wet wool of her cloak a...

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The Wolf Who Cried "Boy!"

Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #334

The Wolf Who Cried “Boy!”♪ “We ain’t no delinquents,We’re misunderstood,Deep down inside us,There is good.” ♪-The Jets Gang, West Side Story “I know why you won’t go out with me, Marcie.”“It’s not that, Big Bad. It’s not that at all. It’s just that… well, it’s…”It was that. It was always that. Ever since the night of the big storm, when little Big Bad lost contact with the pack and wandered down off the mountain into this small town, it’s been that. He was alone, without family or friends, and different… very different.Children can be cruel....

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Jasper and the Home Invasions

Jim Catt

Submitted to Contest #334

Apparently, what makes burglary such a vicious crime isn’t the loss. It’s the invasion. Your home is where you feel safe. It’s more than theft. It feels personal. If someone can enter your home and steal, what’s to stop them from doing something much worse? Every bump you hear at night shakes you with insidious dread. A simple thud conjures a plethora of bone-chilling scenarios, each one more vicious than the last. Therefore those who commit such crimes should be dealt with accordingly. Tried and punished in a way fitting to the offence.They...

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Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

George Georgerfrost@gmail.com

Submitted to Contest #334

My name is Brunhilda and in case that name does not ring a bell, I am one of the two ugly step-sisters from the classic tale called Cinderella. I was promised a happily ever after ending, but I got hoodwinked in the deal. I must admit things have gone downhill for me since she went skipping off with the handsome prince leaving me with no toes on my right foot when I tried to jam my big old foot into that glass slipper. Mom suggested that she cut off my toes so I could fit my foot into that tiny glass slipper. Hey, this is the Grimm Brothers’...

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Once upon a time there was a cone. We called it fame.

Kim D

Submitted to Contest #334

Name’s Rocky – Rocky Raccoon. I work down on Studio Boulevard in lot 482. I am an actor. I’m not famous or anything yet unless you’re the type who pays close attention during scenes. I’m not doing this for fame. I’m doing it for the craft services. Ha. Only kidding (sort of).Fame is not all it’s cracked up to be. You think, “autographs, paparazzi, premiers.” That stuff is for what we call in the industry “A-Listers.” They’re the spoiled ones who come to work with their giant fat egos so obtrusive they can hardly fit through the doors. Not th...

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C-1697

Laura Specht

Submitted to Contest #334

OFFICE OF NARRATIVE INTERVENTION: POST-EVENT FILINGDOCUMENT ID: REV-77-CIND-1697FILING AGENT: O-99 (Field Designation: "Godmother")SUBJECT: C-1697 (Resident: Estate 4, Northern Province)EVENT TYPE: Tier-2 Social Integration / Royal GalaTOTAL DURATION: 04:00:00 (Active Phase)STATUS: CLOSED – SUCCESSFUL I. PRE-INTERVENTION COMPLIANCE AND ETHICS REVIEW1.1 Authority and Legal FrameworkThis report is submitted under the mandates of the Central Narrative Bureau (CNB), specifically the Fairness and Equilibrium Act of 812. Field Agent O-99 was dispa...

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By Royal Decree

Joe Sauers

Submitted to Contest #334

The townsfolk in the gallery are ordered to silence as His Honourable Lord Therington, Royal Justiciar, returns from deliberation.Rough cut pieces of parchment exchange hands and acknowledgement given to Their Majesties before proceedings resume.‘The accused shall rise.’ The Court Bellower yowls.A lone man, rather fit, thirty-four, single, size 28L, shabbily dressed and reeking pungently of yesterday’s indulgences, stands in the dock, facing the Court.He could really do with a wash, however, such luxuries will have to wait until after senten...

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Toxic Tom

Jed Cope

Submitted to Contest #334

That bitch named us! That’s what really gets my goat. She swans into our home. Takes over and ruins my damn life! They were my friends dammit! All of them! We had a good thing going and then good ole sweetness and light walks through the door and everything turns to shit. No good deed goes unpunished. I have those words going through my head over and over and over again! But why me? Why am I the one who has to pay. It gets my goat! Scapegoat! That’s what I am! And she had it in for me from the very start. I mean who does that? Walks into so...

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The Teddy Bears Picnic

Ralph Aldrich

Submitted to Contest #334

Dorset Mitchell had once been a happy child until, at eight years old, he learned a terrible truth- his parents had lied to him.One afternoon, Dorset came home from school very upset. When his father asked what was wrong, Dorset blurted out that the school bully had told him there was no Easter Bunny.“What did you say to that?” his father asked.“I told him there is so!” Dorset replied.His father paused, studying him. “How old are you now, Dorset?”“Eight.”His father hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose that’s old enough.” He sighed, then continued...

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Schnapps at the Mousebar

Alla Holt

Submitted to Contest #334

Sensitive Content: alcohol and drug use in a comedic setting, bar setting, irreverent mentions of mental illness and innuendo. I remember her hair being gnarly, honestly. The last guys I told about it were so messed up when I said that, I’m glad you’re being more chill. Yeah it was gnarly, nasty. Haha, you can laugh but I’m being honest, D. What was it like? Big. I mean, of course. Long. Yeah, they got that right on the news. Did I watch the news? Oh beans, no. I can’t stand that news guy, with his nose hairs coming right out- You think I h...

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150+ Funny Short Stories to read

Funny Short Stories – Page 7 of 10

How I Cheated Reedsy Prompts in 3,000 Words or Less

Grin (?) and Bear It

Chuck's Luck

A Christmas Eve Tragedy

That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles

A Relic for the Full Moon

The Wolf Who Cried "Boy!"

Jasper and the Home Invasions

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

Once upon a time there was a cone. We called it fame.

C-1697

By Royal Decree

Toxic Tom

The Teddy Bears Picnic

Schnapps at the Mousebar