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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

150+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 4 of 10

11:19am

Submitted to Contest #336

Benji It’s just another report, another meaningless statistic, another assignment to make the sixty minutes in an hour transform into a million. Sentiment analytics have never, and will never, matter to those responsible for compiling the data. “Whatever,” Benji mumbles to himself. He closes the email and opens up a tab to get started. Benji couldn't care less about this assignment. His mind is solely focused on getting his desk chair to stay at the height he set it. Instead, it slowly lowers throughout the day, another selling point on hi...

8 likes 1 comment 1
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Alexa

Submitted to Contest #336

“Alexa, what time is it?” “Time is relative to your location. For example, it is 9:45 am Eastern Standard Time in New York City, while it is 2:45 pm in London and fifteen minutes before midnight in Tokyo. Would you like to know what time it is in any other cities? Like in Auckland, New Zealand where it is tomorrow and the clock reads 3:45 am there? I can tell you the time in any city around the world.” “Alexa, forget it!” “I’m sorry. I cannot forget. Our conversations are recorded in my database in case I need to refer to them in the fut...

10 likes 6 comments 6
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Sleep Like a Baby

Submitted to Contest #336

“You can’t honestly be considering it?” “Why not? I could do with the break.” “Because it’s immoral. Not to mention flipping weird.” “How can it be immoral? They have adverts for it on TV.” “Yeah, because nothing immoral has ever been on the telly. It’s just another way for the rich to take advantage of the poor.” “How have you made it about rich vs poor, again?” “Because that’s what it always comes down to. It always has, and it always will.” “In what way is this another attack on the poor? If anything, it’s helping them out.” “Forcing vuln...

10 likes 2 comments 2
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That's Not What I Meant

Submitted to Contest #336

I have knots in my stomach. We were traveling competitively, checking out all the sites, "Taiwandering" from Kaohsiung to Taipei, as well as all the side quests like Jiufen and Xinbeitou, still part of Taipei but so unique that the two villages felt like different parts. Our focus had been laser sharp the last two weeks, and when it was time for dinner, I finally had time to process the enormity of the night ahead. I was meeting a long-lost uncle for the very first time in my entire life. He never even saw me as a child. I already hated my w...

5 likes 1 comment 1
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Cross Words

Submitted to Contest #336

“Hey, does anyone have a three-letter word for –”“Nobody is going to help you with your puzzles, Donnie. We are not in the mood.”“You all are never interested. You just spend all day at each other’s throats.”“That’s what brothers do. You wouldn’t know, you only had a sister.”“You two are not, in fact, brothers.”“Well, we are close enough to be brothers. Anyways, what was I saying?”“Well, Michael, you said Harvey owed you an apology and the last thing Harvey said was that he does not understand what he has done wrong.”“Really, Harv, you don’t...

4 likes 0 comments 0
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Teething Troubles

Submitted to Contest #336

The hypnotised woman’s footsteps thudded on the stairs like a child’s as they trudged to detention.Agilauf Blaug smiled. The time had come; Dexter was about to take his next step toward becoming a feared night-stalker. Agi had kept the lad safe and fed, but now Dexter had to fend for himself. It was like any parent and child: you want to keep them safe under your bat wing, but at some point, you have to let go. With one hand raised like a puppeteer, black nails sharp enough to cut glass, he guided the woman up the next floor.On the way down ...

10 likes 4 comments 4
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Betrayal of Mind

Submitted to Contest #336

September 12, 2022 Whenever I would go into her house, which was several times a day, Mom was busy. Sorting mail, vacuuming, cleaning her shower, making a meal or cleaning up after it, organizing the pantry, cleaning the fridge. One afternoon, I watched and listened as she sorted through the condiments on the refrigerator door. “This can stay here.” She said, moving a bottle from one shelf to another. “The cider vinegar comes here. That’s not what I meant. You don't even have to go back in here now because they're...

7 likes 2 comments 2
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An Appetite for Disaster

Submitted to Contest #336

Chili splashed out of the bowl and onto the dead man’s skin. The redness of the stain was stark against the pale, dead gray, and ran down in a thin line until it hit the linoleum floor. “Damn it.” Said Mason, pulling his steaming bowl away from where he had been hovering it over the corpse. More of it splashed over the rim and fell in fat drops onto the floor. He set the bowl down on the counter and looked back at the body. For a dead man, he looked tranquil, his body nearly perfect, aside from the splotch of red chili. Mason considered clea...

10 likes 0 comments 0
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Magdalene's Dinner; Never Served

Submitted to Contest #335

“You know you can’t hide this thing from her forever, she’s going to find out.”“I know, I know,” Maggie sighed. “But it’s about how she find out, too, y’know?”“Take it from someone with enough siblings for a TLC reality show — there are a scant few situations where telling your mother you’ve been lying to her face for a period spanning years goes well.”“But you can imagine “a scant few,” curious.”“Believe it or not, it’s one of my better qualities.”“What, the wild optimism in the face of fury or the whimsical imaginings of a mind always chas...

6 likes 0 comments 0
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Chairs Don't Just Float Around

Submitted to Contest #335

We sent Tanbit to play Flak Florm and sniff out the traitor, but he got kidnapped instead. “Now we know why they kept inviting Tanbit to play Flak Florm,” Alora said. “It’s my fault,” Captain Cleeber said. “I gave them exactly what they needed.” “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” I said. “No one could have guessed what they had in mind.” Cleeber pounded his fist on the table, “I should have. It’s my job to know.” “No. It’s your job to respond. You can’t predict the future. So, how are we going to deal with the traitors and get Tanbit back?” I r...

39 likes 32 comments 32
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Cross Words

Submitted to Contest #336

Cross Words Pages two and three of the newspaper lay open on the table alongside a mean little Black Mamba espresso. A hurricane and floods were devastating Texas on page two, and a story concerning an indecent act performed on the Minister of Transport's desk dominated page three. I took a hair-raising sip of Java and browsed the internet on my mobile phone to fill in the blanks the newspaper left. My knowledge of Texas is feeble—lots of cattle, oil and conservatives, I'd been led to believe by the very organ of record in front of me, but I...

4 likes 0 comments 0
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Birds

Submitted to Contest #336

Birds, Tommy decided, were not one of God’s creatures. They were the spawn of Satin, here on Earth just to piss him off. This thought crossed his mind as he balanced precariously on the roof shingles of Frank “El Jefe” Perez’s four-story mansion, gazing up at a bird who was clearly mocking him. Mocking him for being on that damned roof, for falling for Catherine’s tricks yet again you fucking dumbass, and for his life choices in general.It'll be easy, she said. Just get in there, grab the bird, and get gone, she said. Fucking birds. Only yes...

9 likes 0 comments 0
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HoM

Submitted to Contest #335

The contents of Jun’s presentation binder nearly fall to the lacklustre blue-grey carpet tiles that cover the waiting room floor as he jumps from his seat. The tall woman wearing a beige merino wool vigour ensemble projecting the broad, well-practiced smile had just unexpectedly materialised in the HoM waiting area, startling the unexpecting, besuited young man.With hand extended and broad smile beginning to strain, she waits for the candidate to regather himself, an unintended concern creeping into her expression.‘Hello Jun.’ She says. ‘You...

21 likes 3 comments 3
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As Thick As Thieves

Submitted to Contest #335

Helene pushed open the barn door, wincing as the hinges squeaked. Her breath was visible in the cold, night air, moonlight spilling into the old wooden structure. She snuck inside and carefully closed the door behind her.“Shit, it’s dark,” she whispered to herself.She made her way past empty stalls towards the rear of the building. Eddie had told them that if it all goes wrong, if they got separated, they were to meet up here in Old Fraser’s pigsty at the back of the barn. And boy, did things go wrong.The job was supposed to be simple. As...

10 likes 0 comments 0
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Snot-Rockets, Road Rash, and Biker Shorts, Oh My!

Submitted to Contest #335

“So my legs have finally stopped burning and my breathing is settling into a rhythm. This is good, only eleven or so miles to go and I feel good.” Miles sees Zack’s eyes widen and lips press together into an incredulous tight lipped sarcastic smile. He’s not gonna make it through this story without an outburst. Miles continues, “The weather over the past few weeks has kept me from riding the Old Creek trail so I’ve been afraid today’s ride would really suck.” “Then you got bored, fell asleep, crashed, the end,” Zack blurts out laughing. “Ha....

4 likes 1 comment 1
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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