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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 2

Villainous Minds

Weekly Contest #359

He awoke wet and cold. Blankets strewn and spilling onto the floor. As he attempted to sit up, his back screamed in protest. The bed was old and full of springs that were no longer content to be like the others. Feet dangled off the side and found their slippers. Sleep was washed away as the slim beam of light protruding into the room caused his eyes to tear up. The mattress felt damp and smelled of salt. Once he stood up, everything was a blur, as usual. A shower, a shit, a shave. Out the door. Down the stairs. On the bus. “Grande double sh...

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Date Night

Weekly Contest #359

My guy pushes the door open and holds it for me like the gentleman he is. I “accidentally” bump his leg on my way in. He acts like he doesn’t notice. It is just a small nudge, a reminder that I am here - with him. It’s Tuesday night, our night out, or as I like to call it, Date Night. What can I say? I love being close to him all the time.We arrive early. The reflection in the mirror behind the bar catches my attention. I stare unselfconsciously at the image of the bitch staring back - the bitch is me and I’m okay with that. The sparkle of m...

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Charlie's Angels

Bettina Karpathian

Weekly Contest #359

“Thank goodness that’s over with for another year,” Joyce said, ruefully patting her ample bosom as she caught up with her friend Paula. “Modern medicine’s a wonderful thing, but how many guys do you think would put their boy parts in a freezing cold vice and squeeze them flat?”“It’s just a mammogram, for Pete’s sake. You’ve earned yourself a decent brunch in that chichi place across the street. My treat,” said Paula, chuckling.“I don’t know what I’d do without you to keep me on the straight and narrow,” said Joyce. “How do we get out of her...

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Sir Gregory

Levi Michael

Weekly Contest #359

It’s been a tough year. My sister finally lost her battle with the big C, her boy—my nephew—is starting to get into trouble that his dad can’t seem to get ahead of, and now grandpa is losing his mind, and not in that way they depict in those Rexulti commercials, where an old man is quietly looking around his room wondering where he is as his family watches on, lovingly, wishing that they had more fully appreciated him when he was lucid. No such luck. He’s losing his mind violently. That kind of dementia that puts him, and those around him, i...

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"The Platinum Prowler Strikes Again!"

Weekly Contest #359

If it hadn’t been for Em’s promise of covering her tab, Mel would have been anywhere else that night. Mel figured that a few mixed drinks would help her overcome any regrets she’d come to have for partying at ArtistCon’s kickoff celebration. The combination of anime fight scenes being projected onto the walls and the dj spinning songs sung by synthesized vocalists was making her second guess the choice she’d made. Additionally, not that any of the men in the room were particularly appealing to her, it wasn’t helping her situation that the gi...

4 likes

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Don’t lose your head

Andrew Venn

Weekly Contest #359

Include the line, “Have we met before”? in your story “I have failed this week’s writing task already, because I don’t like watching, or even attempting to write about horror, BUT I have gained a few more followers this week, and I am extremely grateful for this”; “I like to write, and to challenge my mind, and with my extra followers ‘in mind’, then I have made an attempted humorous effort for them”!? Don’t lose your Head “Have we met before, because you have a familiar face……and I’ll have to check my collection of...

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Bike Ride

Weekly Contest #359

Riding a bike has always been a type of therapy for me. When I was young and my parents were arguing at home, I’d sneak out and go for a bike ride. When my best friend Avery and I would get into an argument, I’d ride my bike around the block until I came up with a way to fix it. When my tenth grade boyfriend broke up with me for some girl he met at another school, I rode my bike for hours until Mom drove up and made me get in the truck to go home. The cool spring air blowing through my hair, the sun setting over the lake, and nothing to dist...

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STANDING ON TRADITION

David D'EttoreUser

Weekly Contest #359

STANDING ON TRADITION “Why are you standing on your head?” I tried to look up and focus on the person asking the question. He was small man with a thin mustache that appeared to be painted above his lip. He had a squeaky voice, the kind that reminds one of the little whiners back in grade school who used to wipe their noses with their sleeves and then touch everything within touching distance with their slimy, germ-ridden paws and say they didn’t feel good. I hesitated to correct him on his terminology referencing my pos...

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Very Very Very Fiction

Francis D

Weekly Contest #359

You are reading this because it was submitted to a writing contest.The prompt was:Write a story that subverts the reader's expectations.That means there is probably a surprise at the end.You know this because you are not an idiot.The writer knows it too.In fact, the writer is counting on it.Speaking of counts, the writer is very aware that this contest has a 1000-word count minimum, which influences how this unfolds, maybe positively, maybe in making bloviated word choices to ensure that what should be 843 words has an extra 157 words. Subve...

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Cuppa Sugar

Annalisa M

Weekly Contest #359

Gossip is the cardio of suburbia. The gaggle of housewives couldn’t help but chit, chat, and chin-waggle, sometimes in the neighborhood grocery store itself, gathering by the end caps of the squeezable toilet paper. The culprit would occasionally make eye contact with one of them and even wink. Wink! Just think! The women were well accustomed to the occasional handyman whose van might linger a little too long on a sunny afternoon. A housewife’s life can become numbingly routine. Wash the breakfast dishes. Start the laundry. Look out the win...

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Ear to ear

Weekly Contest #359

The door slammed before I made it down the stairs. Why? I thought I heard your keys jangling. Your heels against the floorboards. But I didn't think you were serious. I didn't think you'd leave.We were out in the cold this morning. That winter darkness before the sun comes up. My feet were freezing against the moonlit tarmac! But you didn't seem sad. You had your lovely smile on. Your breath blowing into the wind, ear to ear.So why leave now?What am I to do? I'm here crying face down into the shag carpet. You've looked after me all this time...

7 likes

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The Measured Victory

Paul Jang

Weekly Contest #359

King Tuscan sat on a throne decorated with gold. A longsword hung at the right side of the throne, its polished steel gleaming in a ray of sunlight."I am hungry. Servants, bring me my favorite platter," Tuscan ordered with a clap.A small group of servants stood near the right wall of the throne room. They glanced at one another and pretended to appear busy by adjusting their uniforms and inspecting the floor for dust.One of the servants, John, sighed and stepped forward reluctantly. "Of course, Your Highness. I will prepare and bring it for ...

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The Accountant

Michael Danyluk

Weekly Contest #359

Saturday afternoon: time to do some errands. I call up my friend Mike, and he says he'll join me. I put my dress shirt on, dress pants, my polished black shoes, and I'm out the door to go pick that scoundrel up. When I get to his house, I see a fatter, older version of Mike: it must be his brother, the one I've never met. I'll introduce myself. “Hi, I'm Luke. Are you Mike's brother?”“Yeah." I shake his hand. “Yeah, I'm just here to pick up Mike.”“Where are you guys going?”“To Walmart. I have a few things I have to buy for the family.”“Oh.....

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Thank You for Your Story Submission But...

Weekly Contest #359

Prompt: Your character is waiting or yearning for someone or something. Thank You for Your Story Submission But… “It was the worst of times. It was the best of times.” “You plagiaristic fool! I can’t use that! Dickens would roll over in his grave.” There have been many starts and restarts. Hours have turned into days. Weeks have melded into months. Seasons have come and gone marking the year. Even so I continue to sit at my writing desk mesmerized by an empty computer screen. I try to commend, to cajole and even to chide myself into...

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The right damn bird

Weekly Contest #359

The rain started pouring again, but that didn’t matter because the group of six hadn’t been dry for 36 hours anyway. “At least the mosquitos don't like being drowned, too.” Bianca, a middle-aged farmer from Arizona, murmured as she carefully stroked the biggest of the red bites on her forehead. Mike, her husband, hadn’t spoken for six hours, and he wasn’t about to start now. They marked the end of the small queue of birdwatchers fighting their way through the thicket of the Costa Rican Corcovado rainforest. Paul, the youngest and most passio...

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