Acts of Redemption

“You do not seem to know how to keep a prisoner very well. Is it your first time?” She chirps from behind me. I turn around to her with snow up to her knees and in a fur coat so big it seems to devour her. “What are you up to now?” I sigh, we have been wandering through this forest for hours trying to put as much ground between us and Arkov as possible. For almost the entire time she has been dragging her legs and complaining about the cold. She seems to be in a better mood now but the hint of mischief in her voice makes me miss her whines. I look her over and realize that the cuffs around her wrists are gone. My hands rush to unsheath my sword when they suddenly appear dangling from her finger. She smirks as she says. “Easy soldier, I have had plenty of opportunities to take your life. Yet here you stand”.

I suppose it was silly to keep the cuffs for this long. We need the other for this quest, but I will not fail my king again. I meet her gaze and try to return her smile but my fingers linger on the hilt of my sword. She speaks the truth though, this is not the first time she has broken out of my binds. In fact, during the nights since her capture I have kept her chained to a tree. A few weeks ago I had woken to her sitting by the fire and drinking morning tea. There would have been little effort in slitting my throat that night but she had not done so. Except for a few curses and harsh comments in the beginning she had not and still has not actually given me a reason to mistrust her. Only her reputation makes me wary of her still.

“You have proven a true ally in aiding me in my quest. Without you I would still be in that library in Arkov, nosedeep in its archives” She lets out a huff at that. “Without me you would not have known about the underground archives. You would have spent a week combing through every book in the whole library and then drowning your sorrows at the tavern next door.” True again. I had followed my lead to Arkov to find information about where to find the scepter for the king. But Arkov has over twenty libraries and I found myself a bit stumped at first. “Oh I am so lucky to have the kingdoms most wanted thief traveling at my side” I say with fake excitement while slowly walking towards her. “So that they may show me how to cheat and lie to get my way”

We almost touch noses with how close we stand, but I do not mind and in her eyes I can see that she does not either. I have felt it for some time now. How the tension between us has switched from that of prisoner and guard. We still keep an eye on each other, still keep our distance, but the reasoning is an awkward worry rather than the initial mistrust. A worry that should we step too close, should we touch, then we will stop pretending that we have not come to enjoy each other's company. That we keep such a close eye on each other simply because we want to savor the sight.

Snow begins to fall again and flakes land in her hair covering it like stars in the night. Her smile has faltered and in a much softer tone she says “I never cheated anyone, I just offered them a bit of wine. Besides I do not want to live that life anymore” She pouts at me and it is difficult to remember she is not to be trusted, that she has betrayed this kingdom time and time again. But when she looks up at me with those widened eyes and rosy cheeks that fact seems to flutter away. Nonetheless, I take a step back. Now is not the time to forget my quest. “I know” I whisper and nod her along

The sun has just set. The darkness sits as a veil over the forest but the snow glows and shows us a path. When, finally, we can make out the silhouettes of a cottage. It stands in a clearing with its wooden roof covered in the freshly fallen snow. A sight I have seen many times before. My legs ache from the long walk and my shoulders are sore from carrying such a weight. She, however, struts along beside me as if carelessly strolling through the forest. She remains unburdened by packing as I refuse to let her carry any. My mind goes to the rolled up parchment that safely lies in my pack and I walk a little lighter. “My my! Are we breaking and entering now, soldier? Whatever shall his Majesty think of us.” She feigns consternation making a gesture as if clutching her pearls and I can not help but let the corners of my mouth tip upward.

Her words linger a bit in my mind. If my king saw me now, travelling with a murdering thief like we were old pals, what would he think? I ignore her and the thought as I unlock and swing the cottage door open. “I don’t need to break anything. This cottage belonged to my master and he trained me here. In a way, it is mine now. I have not visited much since his passing though.” As soon as the words leave my mouth I wish them back, not intending to reveal the fact in such a manner. I pray that she does not pick up on the thinly disguised sorrow in my comment, however, as we lock eyes I can see she does. A shadow of a similar experience flickers in them yet she pushes by me without a word. She stops by a window on the other side of the room, looking out of it with her back fully exposed to me. A chilly silence follows and I move to light the fireplace.

We do not speak much the rest of the night, sharing a quiet meal and then opting to get some sleep. The cottage is very small, only having a bathroom and a living area, and as such only has one bed. Which leaves us standing side by side looking over the very narrow bed before our eyes. I doubt we both fit comfortably should we lay on our backs. We would have to be touching, perhaps even embracing each other. Images flood my mind. Her arms draped over my side with her head resting on my chest. Us laying on our sides with me behind her. So close I could smell her hair. Her eyes are already locked into mine when I glance over. A knowing smirk playing on her lips as if she knows just what goes on in my mind.

“So this is the spot you bring all your girls to. A cottage in the middle of nowhere with only a small bed to share?” My mouth gapes at the implication. I search for a witty answer, a string of chosen words that would make her think I am as nonchalant about this as her. But I find none and she softly, albeit teasingly, says “If you lived here with your master, where did you sleep? Or did you cuddle up next to him?” A smirk of my own. “I slept on the floor, as I will tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

My feet move on their own, trying to put some distance between, but before I can get too far she lunges forward and grabs my arm. “Stop that” she says while looking up at me through her lashes. Before I can react she continues. “Stop acting like you do not feel the same as I do.” A breathy pause. “I can feel how your eyes linger on me. How your breath hitches whenever I step too close” As if to demonstrate her statement she steps closer. Closer than we have ever dared. “I know how you feel for me so please stop acting like we” She touches my chest and then her own. “ are nothing but a means to an end.” She breathes heavily as if each word she spoke weighed a ton. Like they had been buried deep inside her and just now broken out. I take hold of her waist and pull her in. At that she freezes a bit and I just know she has not thought this through. Has not anticipated what response she might get. But I know she wants more. She has been just as obvious as I and I am tired of resisting her. So I cup her cheek and when she leans into my touch, I do the thing I have imagined doing for so long. I kiss her, and she eagerly meets my lips. She breaks out of her previous state and rushed hands tug on the collar of my shirt. We have to part for air but it does not take long for her to proceed, now targeting my neck.

Although her lips against my skin leave me wanting more, I can not shake a sense of dread. A feeling that travels from my stomach and settles deep in my heart. My body wants something different but my mind is clear. This is wrong. I should be on my way to find the scepter that will buy back my place back in the King’s Guard. Not here kissing a thief that is a threat to the kingdom. The very kingdom I have sworn to protect by every means necessary. The kingdom whose king I have dedicated my life to. By kissing her, by choosing her, do I not ally myself with the scum I vowed to fight so many years ago? No, I will not let all my effort to redeem my mistake be a waste. She has me up by the wall now but I flip her around to gain advantage. Her lips are back on mine but her hands have gone to cup my neck and cheek. As if driven by another force I pin her arms to the wall with one hand while the other reaches for my belt. Heavy breathing and the sweetest of sounds escape her lips and they make me wonder what other sounds she can make. A frustrated grunt slips out of me while my fingers search my belt. They find what they desire and take a solid hold. She leans in to kiss me again but stiffens at the sound of a metal blade leaving its sheath. In a second she has a sword's edge firmly at her throat. Should she speak, try to break free or even breathe too hard then her soft skin is pierced.

When I look into her eyes I see the sting of betrayal as if we both did not know it would eventually come to this. The king will only pardon one traitor. With the location of the scepter in my possession there is no need for us to continue onward together. We both know that. So why does she look so devastated? Would she not have done the same? Despite the blade she attempts to speak and a trickle of blood appears. The sight of her blood on my own sword makes my knees weak, nevertheless I hold firmly and push even harder. She still keeps my gaze and I am suddenly reminded of all the other times she has bled for me. Of times she has put herself in harm's way to help me out of trouble, of our talks when patching each other up. We spoke of our deepest thoughts such things we never even knew ourselves before we uttered them to each other.

There is a sting in my eyes that brings me back to the present. Watching her lips quiver, trying to whisper her last words but being forbidden by my blade, lets me know it is over now. It has already been done. One swift swipe and she falls to the floor. I can not look at her body but when I turn I catch a glimpse in the window. A cruel man meets my eyes, blood splatters across his face and posture as if the weight of great shame drags him down. Perhaps it was a rash decision, perhaps she never would have betrayed me. But now I can face the king with pride knowing that this time the fool was not I.