I Just Wanted Some Salad Chips

It was almost done.

After all those head-first crashes into poles across streets, tripping all over the place, and having tried on an animal love scent perfume, by my science-obsessed friend, left me with random animals chasing me across a grass field; my summer bucket list just only had one thing left.

And that was a packet of 'Salad Chips'.

Ever since, I had robbed my best-friend's packet of chips, a month ago, life had never been the same.

Of course! It tasted delicious, but it felt extravagant.

And I went crazy for another.

I had searched countless shops, towns, and cities.

But the answer was 'nothing'.

That was, until now.

I stood before it.

A vending machine.

On a random Monday.

In one of those underground metro stations of New York.

The song really does make sense now!

It's where dreams are made of! And there's nothing you can't do!

YES!

I inserted two dollars.

Waited.

Stared.

Sat.

Walked around.

Tried to do some magic.

Nothing.

Why is everything against me?

Can't I simply enjoy a snack?

Why now? Out of all the times!

Am I going to be famous in the history books, as the person who somehow survived with all this bad luck?

I decided to lock in.

I'm not going to let my money go to waste!

I'm not going to back down!

Not ever!

Thirty minutes had passed.

Why is this so hard?

It should have taken less than a minute!

Right?

Well, I guess we're going to do it the hard way!

I rolled down my sleeves.

Stood straight.

Glared deep.

And shook the machine like crazy, back and forth.

I didn't really care about what others were thinking.

It's my life, and my rules!

But seriously! Please work!

A few minutes later.

I slumped back against it.

This machine really hates me!

Do I give it more money?

I reached in for my purse.

There was barely one pound.

But after all that effort, my stomach could not bear it any longer.

Food!

Work! Please!

I don't want to die out of hunger over here!

I stared at my hands.

Then at the fingers.

Can I eat them?

Shut up! No, you can't Kiki!

Hold yourself together!

I frantically gazed around.

Ah Yes!

A spoon!

And beside it, a beautiful piece of chocolate cake!

With a small candle on top of it!

Don't mind if I do!

How could someone just leave it there? Unless... they don't want it!

I lunged at it.

Scrambled it open.

But before I could even take a bite.

A hand shoved it away.

"Don't you dare eat this birthday cake!"

The person screamed.

But my head kept spinning.

And all it could ever think about, was the cake.

"Excuse me!"

My fist smacked into another person's nose.

I froze.

He froze.

Pale. With the red mark.

Wait. Oh my gosh! Is that...?

"I'm sorry... please..."

I flailed.

"I'm sorry. I should have come in front of you before speaking."

He rubbed the dust off his shoulder.

Is he going to sue me now?

Don't panic Kiki!

Get it together now!

"It's fine, you can enjoy it..."

He smiled.

"Anyways you deserve it cause you're homeless..."

Wait, did he just say...

"I'm not homeless!"

I flared.

"Sorry! Yikes! Chill!"

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!

NO! CALM DOWN KIKI!

Violence is never the answer.

I simply grabbed the spoon and gobbled it all down... to the very last bit.

Both guys looked even paler.

I mean I was hungry!

You can't judge me for it!

"So, if you are not homeless... then what are you doing here?"

One of them looked concerned.

I sighed.

"It's that vending machine! I have been trying to get a packet of 'Salad Chips' for so long!"

He just nodded, before roaming around the machine.

He paused.

A little smirk formed.

Then, a little more.

Until finally, he was dying out of laughter.

"Why are you laughing so..."

I paused.

A wire was in his hands.

"It had... been... unplugged this whole time!"

Oh...

***

That was so embarrassing!

I slumped back against my office chair.

But why is there so much work!

I gazed at the bright ceiling.

Can’t I simply be there?

Where there’s everlasting peace and happiness.

Wait.

How about now?

I glared across the room.

A knife.

Don't tell me someone does not want me to eat their birthday cake again!

You know what! Let's not get into that drama again!

I slumped back into my seat once more.

The air-conditioning finally started doing its job.

Yes! Just what I need right now.

"Hey!"

Someone just had to come at the right time!

"DON'T DARE DISTURB ME!"

I could feel the person's face getting whiter.

"It's me! Chloe!"

I pushed her aside.

Not now!

Let me relax!

She lunged at me.

Pulling me into her embrace.

"I got some good news and bad news... what do u want to hear first?"

Ugh! Why!

"Ok! What's the good news?"

She grinned wide.

"You're getting promoted!"

Wait. Is this real?

"I'm not kidding! It's true!"

I leaped out of my seat.

And started dancing out of nowhere.

FINALLY, SOMETHING GOOD HAS HAPPENED TO ME!

Guess I don't really have that much bad luck.

Do I?

She caught my shoulders.

"Now about the bad news... the boss is calling you."

Huh?!

***

I stood in front of the head’s office.

What does he want?

Is he going to fire me!

No!

What can I do!

Should I…

(a) Give a candy bar

(b) Make it happen on the bed.

(c) Run away and get a new identity

My heart was practically tap-dancing inside my chest from the good news though.

Think, Kiki! Think!

Maybe if I smiled enough, he'd forget why he called me.

Or maybe he's going to congratulate me!

No.

That sounded ridiculous.

It would not work.

Can it?

A hand dragged me inside.

“Sit!”

I froze.

This is the end.