Best Served Cold

Diana got to the restaurant early. She looked into the bright, clean dining room.

But not too bright…

Most of the tables remained empty.

Why did Jenny want to meet? She sounded so odd.

She saw the woman wearing a restaurant staff uniform.

Ah… that’s her. Can’t believe she’s a waitress… Oh, well, gal’s gotta eat.

The hostess caught Diana’s eye.

Diana said, “I’m waiting for a friend.”

“I’ll seat you when she arrives.”

They smiled at each other.

Nice place… Why hasn’t George brought me here? We’ll have to…

She saw Jenny pull up and hand her keys to the valet.

Do I tell her? Here? Not now. When? Does she know? We could confront her. Maybe after we get our food.

Jenny entered. They shared a perfunctory embrace.

Diana assessed Jenny’s mood as she pulled away. I’ve gotten more warmth from a lamp post.

The hostess seated them. Jenny spread the napkin on her lap. Distracted, she looked everywhere but at Diana.

“Nice to see you, Jen. What’s up?”

“Not yet. Let’s get drinks first.”

“Of course. I also have news. It can wait.”

The waitress brought them water and menus. Diana read her name tag – Lilith.

Of course…

Jenny recognized Lilith and tensed. This should be fun. Outnumbered. Is the antidote for cyanide on the menu? Probably under desserts… She smiled without humor.

Diana smiled up at Lilith. “Are the mimosas good?”

“One of our most popular drinks…”

“I’ll have one of those.”

“Bottomless?”

Diana looked at Jenny. I’d better. “Yes… Why not?”

Jenny nodded and held up a single finger.

Lilith smiled and withdrew.

Jenny watched Diana while pretending to examine the menu. All she does is lie. She lies like a rug. Rugs are never given credit for what they endure. Everyone walks all over them without a second thought. Can you blame them for lying? I could never lie like that… Is she aware of it? Or is she duping herself…?

Jenny’s thoughts streamed without pause. Being the only one privy to her mental ramblings, she felt no urge to edit or make them coherent.

Lilith brought their drinks. “Cheers! Let me know when you want to order. I’ll be over there.”

Diana felt uncomfortable when Lilith leaned in to serve their drinks. Hate for her to spill. And I don’t mean the drinks… Can see all the way to Catalina. Can’t she afford a uniform that fits? Oh, the buttons didn’t pop off. She didn’t bother fastening them.

Jenny and Diana raised their glasses.

En garde…

Diana focused on Jenny. “You first.”

Jenny was direct. “Your husband’s having an affair… with… that waitress.” Jenny tilted her head toward Lilith.

Diana balked. “That’s not possible.” She nodded toward Lilith. “She’s sleeping with Joey.”

Jenny leaned in. “You’re not listening. The affair she’s having is with George, your husband. I saw them together.”

Diana’s thoughts scrambled. “My George?”

“Yes. And I know you’re sleeping with Joey.”

Diana balked at the accusation. Who does she think she is? And who’s she think I am?

Buying time, Diana sipped her mimosa. “First off, I’m not sleeping with your husband. I wouldn’t do that. But Lilith, our waitress is.”

Jenny continued. “You’re not listening… Wait. She’s sleeping with my Joey? But I thought…” She looked stunned.

Diana reached for her hand. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. I saw her with him. Thought you should know.”

Jenny thought, don’t scream. Just don’t. “Wait… that’s what I had to tell you. I saw George with her.” She covered her face with her napkin. “You mean she’s sleeping with both our husbands?”

Diana leaned back against her chair. “I can’t believe it. How does she find the time?”

Late nights… working late… rehearsal… meetings… of course… Fuming, Jenny looked at the waitress.

“Don’t stare, Jen…”

Suppressing her rage, Jenny bit her napkin. She growled. “What a selfish bitch. Joey isn’t enough for her? How insulting. Well, if this is true, I’m not angry at you anymore.”

“Nice to hear.” Diana laughed.

Jenny moved to stand. “There’re so many things…” Murder-one anyone?

Touching her arm, Diana said, “Slow down, Jen. Let’s handle this right. We’ll double team her.”

Jenny nodded. “But after we get our food, so… You know…”

Diana said, “Right…”

“We need answers. Now. This’s outrageous.”

“Say as little as possible. Let her talk. We don’t owe her anything.”

The waitress looked at the two women staring at her. Could be thirsty but I don’t think so. Here I go. Gonna handle this and get a healthy tip too.

Leading with her big smile, Lilith stepped up to their table. “What can I get for you tonight? Want to hear our specials?” Please, no…

Jenny thought, are those eye lashes or ski jumps?

She ordered through clenched teeth. “The filet mignon, rare. I want lots of blood… Still writhing in pain…”

Lilith nodded. Her smile froze in place. Step away from the knife…

Diana said, “Do you have shark? I love biting into a nice, big filet of shark.”

“Shark it is. Would you like a salad with that?”

“Oh, no… Just the meat.”

“And please hurry. We’re ravenous.”

“And bread…? With a sharp knife?”

Diana stifled a laugh. Lots of crust…

“Uh huh… Anything else? Appetizer?”

Both women raised their glasses, “Mimosa?”

Lilith withdrew. She returned with their fresh mimosas. She did not linger.

Shaking her head, Jenny placed her hands on the table. “I guess I understand… Joey is great in bed. Better than George, I’m sure.”

“How would you know?”

“I don’t. I assure you. But I’ve never had any complaints about him…”

That says more about you than him, Jen… Who would complain to you about him?

“To be honest, Jen, George is many things, and he’s no Romeo. However, I’d lay good money down that he’s better than that slouch you call ‘hubby.’”

Did I say that out loud? What am I doing?

Jenny stared. I’ll take that bet…

Diana smiled. “If you don’t believe me, let’s ask her.”

This makes no sense. Rating our husband’s style? Ridiculous… And letting ‘that one’ be the judge?

Lilith brought their dinners. “Careful… hot plates.” She turned away.

Jenny and Diana nodded to each other.

Jen called out. “Oh, Lilith?”

Lilith stopped. Oops… should I run?

She returned to the table. “Anything else?”

Diana let Jenny lead. “Yes… We’re wondering. We’ve seen you before…”

“I’m very involved at church.”

I’ll say… Jenny almost spit out her mimosa.

“Yes, I’m in the choir…”

“Of course, you are. My husband’s the music director.”

“Oh… You’re Joey’s wife? He never stops talking about you. So devoted…”

I’ll bet…

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask you.” Lots of things…

“Okay…”

“I think you know…”

Lilith shrugged. I’m not going to hand it to you…

“I have it on good authority that you and Joey… you know… are more than…”

Diana tapped the table. Cut to the chase…!

Lilith brightened. “Oh, you mean…?”

Jenny nodded.

Lilith laughed. “You know how rumors are… It was nothing… I wanted Joey to give me a solo… so…”

So low…

“He finally let me. But then he saw his mistake.”

“You mean, his sleeping with you?”

“No. Giving me the solo spot. I’m a terrible singer.”

And a terrible liar…

Lilith continued. “Yeah. Don’t join the choir. Too much politics. Musicians are sluts.”

Indeed…

Lilith half curtsied. “I should let you eat… Anything else?”

Swirling the remnants of her mimosa, Diana cleared her throat. “Yes…” She raised her glass.

“Of course…”

“And…”

Lilith thought, bring it on. I’m ready.

“Since we’re on the subject. How do you know my husband?”

Lilith paced herself. Tread lightly, girl. She looks formidable.

“Wait… Hmmm… I’m guessing you’re George’s wife?”

Diana nodded.

“He’s such a great guy.”

Diana remained silent.

“So, the best way to answer your question…”

She’s vamping.

Lilith continued. “…I was sort of the cheerleader, unofficially, for the bowling league. You know… Any time someone on the team got a strike, I’d do a little dance… Well, George got a perfect score… almost. I felt bad for him when he didn’t. Things kind of veered off the rails from there.”

“A perfect score?”

“Almost.”

“What did he get?”

Lilith held her head up. “Almost two hundred points. Everyone was in awe.”

Strike while the iron is hot… Diana tipped her mimosa up. “So, are you and my husband still…?”

“Me and George? No way. That was a one time, spur of the moment thing, celebrating his amazing…”

“Score…”

“In a manner of speaking… You can understand how…”

It felt as if the whole restaurant went silent in anticipation.

Diana laid her napkin over her untouched plate. “So, Lilith… My food is cold now. I’m hungry.”

Jenny said, “Me too…”

Lilith’s mouth worked but they heard nothing intelligible.

Jenny and Diana watched in silence.

“Uhm… I could get you something else. Would you like a box to take that with you?”

“No. Tasteless. Doesn’t travel well.”

“Oh… Well, since you’ve been so patient, why don’t I comp these for you? You can come back any time…”

Diana looked at Jenny. They finished their mimosas, laid their glasses on their sides and stood to leave.

Lilith said, “And I’ll throw in the mimosas too… Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Jenny said, “Really, you’ve done enough.”

“So, we’ll call it even then…”

Diana smiled at Jenny. She turned to Lilith. “You think so? You think this is even? Ever hear of a down payment?”

Jenny said, “Don’t leave town.”

Arm in arm, they walked to the exit.

In the foyer Diana said, “Wait a minute.”

She approached the hostess and said, “What a great time. I’m so glad we discovered this place.”

The hostess said, “I’m so pleased to hear that. I hope we expect you again.”

“Of course. I’d like to reserve a table for a party of twelve, for next Friday.”

“I’m happy to do that. Let me put that into the schedule.”

“And I want to make sure Lilith is our waitress. She gave us unforgettable service tonight.”

“Of course. She is very popular. I’ll make sure she is assigned to your party.”

“Thank you very much.”

Jenny gave Diana a high five and they went out.

While waiting for the valet, Jenny said, “You won the bet.”

Diana said, “No… you did.”

“Want to get some dinner?”