Deception

TW: suicide

He sang, he sang again; he sang how much he loved her, and she felt his tears rushing down into her grave.

***

“I’m sorry,” said Dan; as he held her close to his chest, giving her his temperateness, but she didn’t need any; because even at the termination of her life she was much tenderer than he could invariably be.

“I love you…” said Kate, and they were the last words that arose from of her mouth.

With a side gander, she saw her. Standing over her, glancing down at her, was Katrina looking remorseful. Besides, Kate couldn’t even endure paying attention to her because the ultimate person she would look at would be Dan.

“Go in Katrina,” said Dan, and she did so.

Dying can be fast or slow, painless or painful, nevertheless, no matter how I go, I’ll be unscathed, thought Kate. Regardless, this was a painful process; She didn’t reminisce how she was lying underneath this car as battered and bruised as her heart in front of his house

Then she realized it was the vial.

***

As she traversed through the suburbs, she remembered earlier to that day. Kate reminisced, seeing that blonde girl with Dan after she unfalteringly followed them. That girl looked familiar, which made her cynical. She was older than she was, and everything Kate wanted to be. She had a thick concrete of makeup that hid her snake-like skin; her clothes were barely covering the essentials and her mascara was thicker than the tips of lead pencil. This is what Kate should’ve been, she should’ve worn crop tops and skinny jeans instead of wearing her gargantuan hoodies and shapeless joggers. Then she remembered her: Katrina; their senior and Dan's mentor.

Kate could recall the time when Dan was observing her in the canteen. When Kate asked him what he was looking at, he looked away. He revealed that she was a "JUST HIS MENTOR". Kate couldn’t apprehend that he lied blatantly to her.

She has to amputate the bullet from her wound. She must let the sorrow come out. It hurts like hell because it does; but with her despondency, there was another intertwining sentiment: anger. The anger in her eyes showed the petrified child within. Anyone could see the agony beneath it, and her soul was drowning in this persona.

Dan pulled Katrina closer and kissed her vigorously as if he would never let go of her. Just like he used to do with me Kate thought

Her love was a unicorn, but Dan never believed in unicorns. So that was both the start and end of their story, and their story had ended even before she could realize it. Some things are merely real if you believe they are, and this love story wasn’t real. Even if Kate believed it was.

There she saw it: the bracelet with the letter K on it, on Katrina’s wrist. He purchased it for her, not for me. Tears started streaming down her eyes like a river escaping a dam. Their salinity burned her and etched marks into her skin, but she didn’t care anymore.

She had to tell him that this was over; she would not be his mannequin anymore. If

this was a video, now would be the instance to delete and not pause. Taking a picture of them, she sent it to him, telling him that this relationship was over.

Going into the dispensary, she bought some medicine in the vial. ‘50ml a day’ was written on the label. Just there she held the poison to her lips, ingesting it all at once. The others in the store watched impetuously, waiting for her to wither and die. But she discarded the vial and stared at the mirror, and saw people on the other side. “So, what are you waiting for?” 

What have I done? Thought Kate; as she went out of the store. I should’ve thought this through. I should’ve …

***

Whilst she drove past Dan’s house, Kate saw him and Katrina going inside. They both looked exultant. Kate couldn’t comprehend that he was content with another girl who wasn’t her. How could she grasp this because he did promise to love her everlastingly?

Feeling vertiginous, she left the steering wheel and fell forward. Her skin was as pallid as her eyes and she knew she was clocking out. The medicine was having its effect. Her lips were barely there, and her body puckered like a puppet abruptly released from their strings. Colliding with a lamppost, she lay stone-cold in her grave. Suddenly, blackness submerged her, and she gave out whilst being interchanged with some kind of black- hole. Nausea sidled from her abdomen and the world went black.

Seeing Dan walk towards her, she recalled yesterday when they were together. It was mid-afternoon and a blazing furnace of swirls warmed the colours painted. The sky was a faucet, progressively draining the vibrant colours into non-existence. Her heart had never felt more loved, her immense adoration for him was unparalleled. It was her “forever home” and it gave her the capability to fly so freely; but his love wasn’t like that, he didn’t even love her.

She saw something whilst examining his jacket: a bracelet with the letter K on it. There was an inaudible blooming of her soul. This was for me, she thought. Feelings of elation and ecstasy were penetrating her and filling her up to the brim, but he did not mean this to be for her…

Not K for Kate. NO. It was K for Katrina, but she didn’t know that yet.

As Dan came back with ice cream, Kate let go of the bracelet and gazed at him. Whilst he cupped her chin, Dan told her he would love her eternally, and she told him she would love him until the day she died.

***

She sang, she sang again; she sang how much she loved him, and he felt her tears rushing down with rain whilst she was in her grave.