Fracture

Fracture

Cody slowly opened his eyes and saw nothing but darkness. Where am I? Why does everything hurt? A faint light was coming from under a door next to his bed. His head felt as dense as a ten-pound bowling ball. What is that throbbing? God, my head! As he tried to sit up, he heard a heart monitor.

Beep…Boop…Beep…Boop

Cody tried to move his arms, but they were so heavy and weak. He could barely move them, and when he did, he felt pins and needles. Slowly, he reached up to his mouth and felt a breathing tube. He instinctively ripped it out of his throat, but only a piece came out. He began choking and flailing. I can’t breathe! His heart monitor began to race faster and faster. Suddenly, the blinding white lights were on, and a nurse rushed in and tried to assist him.

“Mr. Winters!” the nurse said loudly. “You need to calm down. You have a breathing tube in, and I need to take it out properly. Please remain still and don’t panic. I am your nurse.”

The nurse pushed Cody back, and he felt a strange and painful sensation as she slid a cool metal guide bar down his throat while she reinserted the tube. Once connected, she properly removed the whole piece and raised the pillow behind Cody’s head. He squinted at the nurse as his eyes adjusted to the light, and he tried to speak. “My eyes hurt. My whole body hurts. I’m confused,” he whispered. His throat was so dry that it felt like he had been eating sand, and it burned from where the tube had been inside. “Where am I?”

“Here, have some water, but don’t chug. You need to take it slow.” The nurse gently held a wrinkled paper cup of warm water up to Cody’s mouth, and she poured a few drops in. “Do you know what year it is? Do you know who you are?”

The room temperature water dripped from Cody’s numb lips and rolled down his gown.

“1998. My name is Cody Winters.”

“That’s good. My name is Heather. You are at Greyson’s Hospital. You were hit by a car. You have been with us for the last five days. I am sure you have questions, but you need to rest. I will page your doctor to let him know you’ve been up, and he will be around to see you in the morning. We will make some calls once the doctor has had a good look at you, and we will go from there. I will be in until noon tomorrow; just ring the button if you need anything.”

The nurse left the room, which felt as bitterly cold and empty as Cody felt inside. The sterile smell of the crisp, stuffy hospital air did little to comfort him. He didn’t remember much. A dark street, headlights coming at him as fast as a train, and then blackness. Cody remained still, as it was so difficult for him to move or even breathe. The clock on the wall read 2:39. It mocked him as the hands crawled around the numbers as slowly as a sleepy snail over and over.

Morning and answers were a long way off.

#

Clang. Clang. Clang.

Cody awoke from a deep sleep to find Heather picking something up off the floor.

“Sorry, dear! I dropped your bedpan. How are you feeling?” she said.

“I don’t remember much, but I am alive.”

“That’s good. Are you hungry? We’ll have your breakfast brought in, and the doctor will see you shortly. Can we call your family? We called your friend Joanie and let her know you were here. It’s the only number we found in your wallet. She came in to see you the day after you were brought in, along with another one of your friends, a young man. They stayed a while, but they didn’t know how to contact your family.”

“No, there is no one. Family, that is. We don’t speak. Memories were coming back to him from the night of the accident. Joanie! He was supposed to meet his girlfriend, Joanie. She was the bright light in his life, as he recalled how much fun they had together. Bowling, arcade games, and going to the movies. That all seemed like such a long time ago. Still, the thought of Joanie coming to see him was the first warmth Cody felt since waking up.

“Who was the man Joanie was with? Did he leave a name?”

“He said he was your friend, Mark. They stopped in for the first three days, and they would sit with you for a couple of hours. They always left together, but both seemed very concerned with your care and would ask when you’d wake up.”

“I don’t know anybody named Mark, but I need to call Joanie. I have to tell her I am

alright.”

“You can call her after you have something to eat. Doctor’s orders.”

Cody ate a tray of powdered scrambled eggs and wheat toast as dry as sawdust. “Mark?” he said quietly. Who the hell is Mark? Could she have meant Marty, Joanie’s work friend?

Just then, Cody’s doctor walked into the room. He was wearing a knee-length, white lab coat and seemed to have forgotten to brush his messy, receding black hair. “Mr. Winters, I am Dr. Remulo. You were hit by a car, and an ambulance brought you in. You have some serious injuries: a broken left leg, a shattered ankle, a bruised spine, a broken right arm, and a severe concussion. I expect you to be in the hospital for at least a couple of weeks to recover, but you’ll live. Do you have any questions?”

“Am I going to be able to walk or be like I was? Why does my head hurt so much?” Cody said.

“It is not going to be an easy recovery, but with time and healing, you should regain much of your normal abilities. The head pain is a result of the trauma you sustained when you hit the pavement, but there will not be any permanent damage. The pain medicine should alleviate the worst of it. I will be in later if you have any more questions, and now that you’re awake, we will run some additional testing.”

Cody turned to Heather and said, “Can I call Joanie now?” The nurse handed Cody the room phone as the doctor walked out, and he dialed Joanie’s number. A man answered. “Joanie Cummings’ residence,” a man said. “Who can I say is calling?”

“Who is this? This is Cody,” Cody responded.

“Hey Cody, you’re awake! That’s so great! This is Mark. I’m Joanie’s friend. Hang on,

and I’ll get her.”

Cody heard a muffled conversation in the background. Why have I never heard of Mark?

“Cody … are you alright?” Joanie said. “How long have you been awake?”

“I woke up last night. Listen, can you come and see me? I know I was supposed to meet you the night of the accident. I didn’t want you to worry.”

There was silence on the phone as Cody waited to hear her answer. Each second of silence felt like an eternity as he wondered if she was mad at him. Why is she not saying anything? Everything is great between us. We had plans to go on a road trip to Edgefest.

“About that night,” said. “I wanted to talk, but I don’t think now is the right time. I want you to focus on getting better. I just need some time. I am glad you’re alive, but I won’t be in to see you for now.”

“Joanie? Wait! Why not?”

Cody was confused as he heard the phone hang up. He couldn’t understand why his girlfriend of one year would not want to see him in the hospital. I don’t remember pissing her off. Why wouldn’t she want to see me? He tried to recall their last conversation as he lay back in bed and stared at the blank white ceiling. The tiny holes in the particle boards looking down on him reflected the holes in his memory as he sulked alone and drifted off to sleep.

Hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks. Cody was recovering slowly, but despite his progress, he felt an empty hole in his heart. Every so often, he tried calling Joanie, but she never picked up. Why is she avoiding me? Just like everyone else in my life, she abandons me. She might be mad at me, but I’m super pissed at her.

After breakfast, the nurse informed Cody that Joanie called to say she would be in later that day. I knew it! I knew she’d come back for me. Around lunch, he worked with his physical therapist to walk down the hallway on the way back from the exercise room, as they had done for the past several weeks. The therapist held onto Cody’s right arm as he held a cane in his left hand to steady his legs down the hall, but he could hardly contain his excitement.

Cody had been enthusiastically telling the therapist about Joanie as they always tried to talk of happy thoughts to keep his mind off the physical pain. Just as they reached his room, Cody saw Joanie walk out of the elevator holding a younger man’s hand. Was this Mark? Joanie quickly yanked her hand back as she met Cody’s angry gaze, and she whispered something to the man when he turned to walk the other way.

Joanie walked up to Cody and said, “You look like you’re doing better. Can we talk?”

Joanie held Cody’s arm as they walked in deafening silence into his room.

The therapist helped Cody back into bed and said, “This must be the infamous Joanie. Cody won’t stop talking about you. You’re a lucky lady. Same time tomorrow, Cody. You’re doing great. You’ll be out of here in no time!” He walked out of the room as Joanie made an awkward face and sat down.

“I guess I should talk first,” Joanie said. “I meant to … I mean, I should have been by more. I just felt so guilty. I couldn’t face you after the first couple of days.”

“It has been six weeks since we talked. What did you have to feel guilty about? I am alive! That is all we should focus on right now,” Cody said. “Who the hell is Mark? Is he the guy I saw you hold hands with?”

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. I am pregnant with Mark’s baby.”

Cody felt stunned. “Weren’t things going well between us?” Cody thought to himself.

“How long have you been cheating on me?”

Just then, Mark walked in. He was a young man, about 19 years old, with wavy, bleached-blond hair. He wore torn jeans, a Nirvana t-shirt, and had a nose piercing.

Cody said, “Aren’t you a little young to be a father? This is ridiculous!”

“Hey man, look, I am really sorry about what I did to you. I was so freaked out, I thought I was going to jail.”

“Jail? For stealing my girlfriend? I don’t think that’s a crime,” Cody said as he ran his fingers angrily through his hair and rubbed his face.

“No, dude, that just sort of happened. Listen, I met Joanie here in your room. You gotta understand that it was dark that night, and I had a bit to drink. I was on my way home after a party, and you just came out of nowhere. You shouldn’t have been walking in the street at night.”

Cody suddenly recalled a flashing memory. He was walking down a dark street, in the middle of the road, on a cold October night. A car shot around the corner and plowed right into him. As he slammed into the pavement, Cody remembered a purple Dodge Neon coming to a screeching halt as it ran off the road into a garbage can under a streetlight.

“You’re the purple Neon?” Cody said. “You’re the asshole that hit me?”

“Yeah, man, really, I am so sorry. I wouldn’t even tell you this, but Joanie said you weren’t the kind of guy who would take this to the cops. I placed an anonymous 911 call, told them where you were, and I fled.”

Cody twisted his hands together and made fists as tightly as he could. All of this was happening at once. “I can’t take this; it’s too much,” he said to himself. “Not only did the guy who put me in the hospital get away with it, he stole my girlfriend to boot.”

Mark looked down at his feet and then reached over and grabbed Joanie’s pale hand.

“After I hit you, I checked your ID to get your name. I came to visit you the next day. I wanted to make sure I didn’t kill you. Joanie had called the hospital looking for you when you didn’t show up that night at her place, and we bumped into each other in your room while you slept. For a few days afterward, I came by to check on you, and Joanie would talk with me, and we found out we had a lot in common. She was upset that I hit you, but because of the way you two left things, she was ready to move on. We felt guilty getting close in front of you, and that is why we stopped coming. One thing led to another, and then she got pregnant.”

Cody looked at Joanie, who wasn’t even crying or showing any remorse for what she had done. “This guy is ten years younger than you are. How could you do this to me? You leave me for the guy that almost killed me?”

Joanie folded her arms. “It just happened. Ever since you stopped working, you just played video games all day and night, and you lived on unemployment. I was hoping you’d show some initiative and get a job with my dad, like I asked you to, but you had no drive. You were more interested in your game than you were in me. I loved you, but you didn’t care,” she said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

Suddenly, Cody’s memories began to flash in his mind like the blinding white light of a camera flash. In an instant, he recalled all the endless nights spent sitting on the floor in front of his TV while Joanie lay behind him in bed, practically begging for attention. He remembered that at the beginning of the relationship, Joanie’s smile and laugh made his world complete, but eventually, he had been careless, thoughtless, and all-around dismissive of her thoughts and feelings. He only cared about what he wanted. He was struck with guilt and remorse for messing up the only positive thing he had in his life.

“When I met Mark, things just clicked,” Joanie said. “He is going to school to become a teacher, and he really cares about me. We came here to tell you we are glad you are doing well, but we need to move on.” Joanie reached for Mark’s hand as they turned and walked out of the room.

Cody wanted his hand to be the one Joanie was reaching for, but something in him was different. He held on to the feeling that he wanted to be with her. I don’t deserve her. His whole life, he had been alone until Joanie came along. She was there to fill the void in his heart, and the man before the coma just ignored it. He had the one thing he always wanted, but when he had it, he was too involved with himself to see it.

Cody lay back in his cramped hospital bed, wriggling on his stiff, starchy sheets to find comfort, but inside he found none. His eyes were open now to what he had lost, and he made a promise to himself as he fought back tears. If he were ever to find someone else, it would be different. He was different. “Maybe the accident was a blessing,” he whispered. “I needed a wake-up call to realize what was really important.” As the cold rays of the December sun fell out of view through his window, he looked into the distance, mourning the man he once was while hopeful about the man he wanted to become.