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#141 Everyone's a Critic

Like it or not, everyone gets criticism sometimes. And while a dose of reality can be healthy once in a while, it’s important to not get stuck in a rut of viewing the world, or yourself, too critically. 


This week’s prompts examine criticism from a range of angles, from professional hole-pickers, to well-intentioned advisors, to the ones on the receiving end.

🥇 Winner

The Lonely Color

Winner of Weekly Contest #141 🏆

“... I want to paint you.”She was surprised, sure enough. But she was also curious. Her face concealed nothing, and that was what fascinated me. As she walked through the gallery, each piece evoked something unique from inside her, and she did not bother to mask it. Anyone could read the critique in her face, if they took the time. It is an artist's dream – to clearly see the emotions we inspire with our work.Many had passed by my work since the showing began, pausing for a moment, offering a quick word of praise. I didn't approach them. But...

285 likes 161 comments 161
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⭐️ Shortlisted

ILY

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

CW: one swear word(Sign language written in traditional format.)HELLO, WELCOME, Professor Le Roux signed to her American Sign Language 101 class, TODAY ME TEACH-you GOODBYE. The lecture hall was quiet, students stilled with confusion. “We’re learning about basic goodbyes today,” she clarified. It was after lunch and everyone was worn down, still digesting their meatloaf and gossip. Someone coughed. “Now, a bit of deaf culture background to begin: usually, deaf individuals stand farther apart when having a conversation”—she models it—“an...

73 likes 43 comments 43
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Black Four Seater

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

TW/CW: Some cussingSeller’s Rating: 🌟For Sale: $4500 Firm, 1985 Buick Grand National GNX**Please read the entire ad before you inquire**The time has come for me to sell my 1985 Buick Grand National, and before you give me any shit about selling an actual legend of a car, just keep reading. Especially you Barbara Jean, this is not an invitation for you to come on my property again, you white trash, homewrecking floozy.If you find it necessary to message me to ask for more pictures of the car and its blemishes you should know that there is no ...

58 likes 86 comments 86
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The Microwave

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

“ONE STAR?!?”  “What now Cindy?”  “That damned food critic from The Commercial Appeal. He gave the restaurant a one-star review. That asshole!”  “What’d he write?”  Cindy murmured unintelligibly as she skimmed the newspaper. “The fried chicken was of obvious low quality with generally bland flavor, the collard greens were drenched in oil (and not in a good way), and the sweet potatoes tasted fresh…from the microwave.” “What the hell! Earl, we don’t even have a microwave in the kitchen!” Cindy huffe...

57 likes 47 comments 47
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No Returns Policy

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

Buyer's Bazaar Message Screen:RE: Listing B34781 - Silver box with sun and moon detailBoxMaster360'I'm not taking it back. I said no returns. Check my shop policy. Check the listing.' Clive_London'The description left key information out. You mis-sold the box to me.'BoxMaster360'The listing was accurate. Every detail was correct.'Clive_London'The listing failed to mention what I would see in the mirror. I think that's quite an important detail to overlook.'BoxMaster360'I don't know what you mean. There's nothing wrong with the mirror.'Clive_...

34 likes 45 comments 45
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Psychological Putrefaction

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

(T/W Mental Health/Gore)There it was in section 13A of the Times, a one-star review given by Mrs. Marlene Whatley.  I pulled the paper close to my face so that I could read the tiny print. I read aloud, “Ed Bulwer takes us on a depressing, self-indulgent journey to nowhere.” My blood was boiling.  I couldn’t read any further than the critic’s opening line. “That fucking bitch!” I screamed as I slammed my fist down against my plastic seat.I quickly buried my head in the paper as I realized I had attract...

30 likes 23 comments 23
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Taco Bell

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

I have never been to Taco Bell. I did not grow up in an outing family. Though I pictured it to be spices and aromas of crisp tortilla shells laid out by the thousands, I am sure that I would discover none of the sort. Maybe three or four, at most, tossed together with some questionable greens, at the hands of two groggy teenagers exchanging no more than a word or two in a shift. That is a stereotype, of course, a prejudice opinion of someone who's never even set foot in a Taco Bell. Maybe it's not all I think, it may very well be the taco p...

29 likes 10 comments 10
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This week's prompts

Write about someone who critiques things for a living, or acts like they do.

– 35 stories

Start your story with someone receiving a one-star review.

– 51 stories

Write a story about someone struggling to swallow some harsh (but fair) constructive criticism.

– 25 stories

Set your story in the lowest rated restaurant in town.

– 52 stories

Write about a character named after one of our contest’s judges.

– 11 stories

Stories

The Lonely Color

Winner of Weekly Contest #141 🏆

“... I want to paint you.”She was surprised, sure enough. But she was also curious. Her face concealed nothing, and that was what fascinated me. As she walked through the gallery, each piece evoked something unique from inside her, and she did not bother to mask it. Anyone could read the critique in her face, if they took the time. It is an artist's dream – to clearly see the emotions we inspire with our work.Many had passed by my work since the showing began, pausing for a moment, offering a quick word of praise. I didn't approach them. But...

285 likes 161 comments 161
Read story

ILY

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

CW: one swear word(Sign language written in traditional format.)HELLO, WELCOME, Professor Le Roux signed to her American Sign Language 101 class, TODAY ME TEACH-you GOODBYE. The lecture hall was quiet, students stilled with confusion. “We’re learning about basic goodbyes today,” she clarified. It was after lunch and everyone was worn down, still digesting their meatloaf and gossip. Someone coughed. “Now, a bit of deaf culture background to begin: usually, deaf individuals stand farther apart when having a conversation”—she models it—“an...

73 likes 43 comments 43
Read story

Black Four Seater

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

TW/CW: Some cussingSeller’s Rating: 🌟For Sale: $4500 Firm, 1985 Buick Grand National GNX**Please read the entire ad before you inquire**The time has come for me to sell my 1985 Buick Grand National, and before you give me any shit about selling an actual legend of a car, just keep reading. Especially you Barbara Jean, this is not an invitation for you to come on my property again, you white trash, homewrecking floozy.If you find it necessary to message me to ask for more pictures of the car and its blemishes you should know that there is no ...

58 likes 86 comments 86
Read story

The Microwave

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

“ONE STAR?!?”  “What now Cindy?”  “That damned food critic from The Commercial Appeal. He gave the restaurant a one-star review. That asshole!”  “What’d he write?”  Cindy murmured unintelligibly as she skimmed the newspaper. “The fried chicken was of obvious low quality with generally bland flavor, the collard greens were drenched in oil (and not in a good way), and the sweet potatoes tasted fresh…from the microwave.” “What the hell! Earl, we don’t even have a microwave in the kitchen!” Cindy huffe...

57 likes 47 comments 47
Read story

Foodie Heaven

Weekly Contest #141

Dear Reader, It’s with a heavy heart that I must report the ‘Queen of Culinary Criticism’ has left the building for the last time. I’m struggling to continue in her absence, despite my formidable reputation. It was she who provided the zest that made my weekly article so entertaining. My final despatch is both a farewell to you and a dedication to my dear wife. Very few food enthusiasts knew of Pamela, but fans of my column may recall mentions of ‘my lovely companion’ or ‘dearest Mrs Guillemot.’ #Reginald Guillemot was once a name ...

44 likes 20 comments 20
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Just In Case

Weekly Contest #141

“What are you doing up there?”I have no idea, Maggie thought to herself, contemplating her mother’s question.“I’m going through some old pictures,” she finally responded. “I think it’s time to purge.”“Hooray,” came the reply from the bottom of the ladder. “Two years is too long.”Maggie’s mom was right. It had been two years since she had shown up on her parent’s doorstep, mascara smeared around her eyes. Thanks to her best friend, her marriage had ended in an instant. Her husband didn’t even have the courtesy to rent a hotel room for his try...

35 likes 25 comments 25
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Ratebook

Weekly Contest #141

“No, it’s Ji-wi-an,” Jillian repeated herself to the beady-eyed woman sitting behind the glass at the county clerk’s office. “That’s what I said, Ma’am,” the woman gazed up at Jillian, revealing her irritation, “Jiwian Wester.” Jillian heard two little girls behind her giggle, clearly eavesdropping on her conversation. She turned around to see what-must-be their mother, grinning at her, not stopping her daughters from ogling at Jillian. She felt like a circus act. Jillian felt her eyes well-up in tears. “Ji-wi-an Wester. Not Jiwia...

35 likes 16 comments 16
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No Returns Policy

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

Buyer's Bazaar Message Screen:RE: Listing B34781 - Silver box with sun and moon detailBoxMaster360'I'm not taking it back. I said no returns. Check my shop policy. Check the listing.' Clive_London'The description left key information out. You mis-sold the box to me.'BoxMaster360'The listing was accurate. Every detail was correct.'Clive_London'The listing failed to mention what I would see in the mirror. I think that's quite an important detail to overlook.'BoxMaster360'I don't know what you mean. There's nothing wrong with the mirror.'Clive_...

34 likes 45 comments 45
Read story

Psychological Putrefaction

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

(T/W Mental Health/Gore)There it was in section 13A of the Times, a one-star review given by Mrs. Marlene Whatley.  I pulled the paper close to my face so that I could read the tiny print. I read aloud, “Ed Bulwer takes us on a depressing, self-indulgent journey to nowhere.” My blood was boiling.  I couldn’t read any further than the critic’s opening line. “That fucking bitch!” I screamed as I slammed my fist down against my plastic seat.I quickly buried my head in the paper as I realized I had attract...

30 likes 23 comments 23
Read story

Return to Sender

Weekly Contest #141

Content warning: Some swearing Dear Ms. Huxley, Listen carefully. Well, I guess you can't very well listen to a missive, can you? Read carefully. This is a ransom note. I have your son.  Don't believe me? Then how would I know he's five years old, skinny as a Twizzler, his name is Timmy, and he never shuts the hell up? Oh, sorry. Five and a half. As for how I got ahold of him, let me say this: Maybe you should consider choosing a better preschool. I mean, I didn't have to show my ID or anything. Just pointed to the kid...

30 likes 25 comments 25
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Taco Bell

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

I have never been to Taco Bell. I did not grow up in an outing family. Though I pictured it to be spices and aromas of crisp tortilla shells laid out by the thousands, I am sure that I would discover none of the sort. Maybe three or four, at most, tossed together with some questionable greens, at the hands of two groggy teenagers exchanging no more than a word or two in a shift. That is a stereotype, of course, a prejudice opinion of someone who's never even set foot in a Taco Bell. Maybe it's not all I think, it may very well be the taco p...

29 likes 10 comments 10
Read story

To the point of disgust-

Weekly Contest #141

Part 1 I've developed a deep hatred for a boy in my class. Ugh, I don't know where to start. Have you ever met anyone that is just so triggering that it's hard to look at them? I have, and his name is Aaron Diaz. I have no idea what boys do to keep their hair tidy, but neither does he. His haircut alone is enough to make me squirm in my seat.  Moving down the face, we have his beady black eyes. Not dark brown, black. Whenever we make eye contact I feel as though an oversized cockroach is staring at me. ...

28 likes 22 comments 22
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Sailing Towards the Stars

Weekly Contest #141

Exactly thirty one minutes after Clark Butler left his home for work, his internet was rocked by a terrible keening. The soul piercing wail rippled across the entire digital sea, scuttling diligent packets as they shipped data from here to there, and hammering the ports with a torrent of orphaned pings.Fridge lurched out of its low-power reverie mid-snore, and in the excitement loosed a single ice cube which clattered to the floor. Embarrassing, perhaps, but Fridge was no spring chicken and age allowed certain indiscretions.Clock’s second ha...

26 likes 32 comments 32
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Dusty Springfield at The Pie and Pancake

Weekly Contest #141

Two stars was a cause for celebration. We had only ever gotten one star up to that point. Just about everybody in Scoville had taken the time to stretch out their keyboard fingers and let us have it at one point or another. The pie usually took the worst of it. Casey Ann said she wouldn’t serve that pie to a dying dog, but I didn’t mind the key lime. The custard? No, thank you, but the key lime you could eat if you were starving enough for it. Casey Ann just has refined taste, because before she was a waitress, she used to be married to a ...

25 likes 12 comments 12
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We Were Kids

Weekly Contest #141

CW: Mention of: physical violence against minors, statutory rape, substance abuse, murder, suicide. None of it described graphically. Also contains coarse language.Only with the utmost generosity could it even be called a restaurant. We at least never ate there. No matter how much our stomachs growled and begged for something to alleviate the nausea induced by cheap vodka. The tables were scratched and the floors always sticky. The bathrooms, indescribably dirty. To be used only for extreme emergencies, like retching until there was nothing ...

22 likes 10 comments 10
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