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Weekly Contest #278
Dear J, I lit the mailbox on fire when I saw you kissing M. Others told me that when feeling too much, one might hurt one’s self. There might be cuts along the arm or starvation. I had no inclination towards self-harm. From a very young age, I understood that the world does enough to you; why do anymore to yourself? I saw you kissing M behind the cafetorium, and I ran all seven blocks home. On the way, I saw the Gozer’s blue mailbox, and I knew it had to burn. One match around the base, and it went up quickly along with whatever mail was ins...
Weekly Contest #277
He can go out when the kids are asleep. They’re still young enough to be put to bed before ten. That’ll change in a few years, and then he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He loves his kids, but he thinks about what having kids meant a hundred years ago. When there were nannies and people went on honeymoons for months on end, like in The Sound of Music. He thinks about boarding school and wonders to himself if he has the guts to send his kids to one. Not because he’d miss them, although he might, but because of the judgment he’d face from everyon...
Weekly Contest #276
I was never known for having luck with fish. When I was a child, my mother dutifully bought me a goldfish in a perfect glass bowl. This was the ideal goldfish. I don’t remember what I named her, but I remember that she looked just like Cleo from Pinocchio and I pledged to find a way to take her on adventures with me. Unfortunately, we never got that far, because my favorite thing to do with Cleo was feed her. I was--and still am--very fond of snacks, and it seemed only fair that the fish should eat every time I ate. Soon, she was takin...
Weekly Contest #275
I don’t see what the fuss is all about, to be perfectly frank with you. Never did I see this many people going out of their way to engage with me when I was alive. Now, I’m dead and laid up in my poor daughter’s kitchen and suddenly the whole neighborhood’s out in their Sunday best. Margaret Walsh showing up in the dress she wore to her own father’s funeral as though I was as close to her as he was. That woman hasn’t said two words to me since we got off the boat in America, because she tried cutting in front of me, and I told her that I’d h...
Weekly Contest #274
She should have bought a third pumpkin. Growing up, her mother had always said that you buy three pumpkins for carving. One for mistakes, one for precision, and one for pleasure. Naomi could only carry two pumpkins into the house, so two is the number she bought. Plus, she picked up a bag of apples. The plan would be to bake a pie, but plans were often discarded now that October featured eighty degree days. She deposited the pumpkins on the dining room table, and the apples on the small breakfast table in the kitchen. Today would be a beach ...
Weekly Contest #273
Minutes for the Meeting on 4/14/2025 doc. by L. Root Pre-Meeting: Acknowledgment of C. Whitehall for bringing the snacks. C. Whitehall blushed. Questions about parking. Request to place questions about parking at the end of the meeting. Request made by G. Chives and approved by Chair Copson. Closed Session Initiated For notes from the Closed Session (doc. by L. Root) please send an email to L. Root at LRootMinutes.ClosedSession@cloudspot.com. Closed Session Ended Meeting Initiated - Open Session, Zero Members of the Public in Attendanc...
Weekly Contest #272
He said he’d be here an hour ago. I decided to go to sleep, because I have to get up early tomorrow. I told him that. I told him that I was going to Montreal to see my ex-boyfriend, because we might be getting back together. We might be getting back together even though my ex-boyfriend refuses to move back to the United States, because he says we’re a country built on the graves of the innocent, as if every country isn’t like that. I told the guy I was talking to that I wanted to hook up before I left tomorrow, because if I end up back with ...
Weekly Contest #271
I noticed your left hand first.The strawberry-colored birthmark at the top of your ring finger matched mine. I wondered if I should hide it from you or the table, but I’ve come to realize that the people I’m waiting on never seem to notice details. Sometimes for fun, I put on a slight accent when I’m reciting the specials just to see if they’ll raise an eyebrow. How did a Scottish man end up waiting tables at a town in New England? Two years of community college theater classes and I can do two barely passable accents and play improv games w...
Weekly Contest #270
Stare at the photo of your grandmother. Stare at it. Imagine her voice telling you that you will never make her sauce the way she did. Never. Hear her cackle. Remember the time you tried to rollerblade in her driveway and fell on your face. Remember the cackle. Steel yourself. You will make this sauce and it will be better than hers. Imagine her saying ‘If ghosts were real, I would come back and crack an egg on your head just for the hell of it.’ Tell yourself that you’re not really smelling her cigarette smoke. It’s all in your head.Look up...
Weekly Contest #269
She simply wanted him to have someone to talk to. I don’t blame her for that. I was not born into this world with any anger inside me despite my larger counterparts being fueled by fire. I am battery-operated. The force is not strong, therefore I am not able to muster up much emotion. Even the day I became aware, I didn’t feel much of anything. There was no time to drum up shock or surprise. I had a job to do. I had a track to cover. This is what I’ve gathered over the past two years-- Mark is the one who loves me. He comes to me every night...
Weekly Contest #268
The door knocker is a small girl holding a puppy. Admire the creativity. Who would make such a door knocker? Who would purchase one? The Bird would. The Bird does everything in such a way that nobody else can believe what they’ve done when they see what it is. Door knockers. The way The Bird eats an everything bagel. The way The Bird drives a garbage truck. Each action shines a light on the action or the object The Bird is engaging with, and brings forth new insight. Knock on the door. The Bird answers. You begin your apology. The Bird close...
Weekly Contest #267
He just got here a few minutes ago, and he’s already asleep. Ten minutes and you go from hot and heavy to snoring. It’s cute. I don’t like to think of guys who come by as cute, but he’s cute. Tells me he works at a nursing home in town. One of the ones they put in an old church after they didn’t need the church anymore. One of the ones that still has the stained glass. Look through it careful and you’ll see some woman in a wheelchair trying to remember what day it is. That’ll never be me. I’ll throw myself in the ocean first. And it’s so clo...
Weekly Contest #266
I enjoyed Dan from Season Five the most. That was when Erica was writing most, if not all, of the episodes. Her idea of Dan was that there was a lot going on under the surface. There was always something behind the eyes. I forget how many actors had played Dan (Daniel, Danny) at this point. We were deep into the twenties by now. Nobody could ever seem to get Dan right when it came to portraying him. I understand that turmoil. I, myself, am currently on my forty-eighth actor. Before you become too confused, I should distinguish the actor from...
Weekly Contest #265
When we get to Vinden-Franklin, we will go to the seafood restaurant near Terminal 8 and see if Sharon is working. Sharon is the best waitress at the seafood restaurant, which we can never remember the name of. We could look it up, but we don’t need to, because we know exactly where it is, and we know that Sharon works six days a week, because she’s always picking up overtime shifts, because her daughter is in her last year at Temple, and she’s helping her with tuition. Our biggest fear is not that Sharon will not be working, because Will is...
Weekly Contest #264
Someone at the next table over is commenting on how only poor people get married during the week. I pretend to be fascinated by my stuffed chicken, but I envision my ears growing sharpened tips like a bat’s in order to catch every word. As far as I can tell, the argument for poor people getting married on a weekday (such as today, a Wednesday) is that it’s cheaper. If you’re rich, you spring for the weekend wedding. This argument is coming from a woman in a dress that looks like a tablecloth made out of the same fabric they use to make Costc...
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