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Murray Burns

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Jan, 2022

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323 Followers
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150 Stories

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The Greatest Battle That Never Happened

Weekly Contest #232

The Greatest Battle That Never Happened “Wine for my men, we ride at dawn.” - Three Musketeers (Maybe…or?) Tucked away in near obscurity in the closing pages of history books on American warfare, or relegated to secondary import as found in the small print footnotes below, nestles a little-known fact about our country's critical battles. Each and every time history beckoned, a Farnsworth answered the call. Christmas, 1776- General George Washington crosses the Delaware and solidifies his place as the heroic founder of our nation. Sadly...

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Best Intentions

Weekly Contest #231

Best Intentions Editor's note: The Reedsy format wasn't receptive to the Word cross-outs, so this may appear a bit messy in places.) December 31, 2023 Resolutions for the New Year- The beginning of a new and improved Herb Farkowski. 1. Lose 20 15 10 5 pounds by July 1st October 1st December 31st, 2024. - Accomplish this daring feat with fat-free fat-reduced not all-fat diet and nightly weekly frequent occasional visits to YMCA. (See #3 below.) - No snacking after 8:00 PM 10:00 PM midnight. (Unless I am rea...

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Poor Form

Weekly Contest #228

Poor Form “Never eat more than you can lift.” -Miss Piggy I wish more information would have been available. Education would have been the key. I was young and foolish and never even considered that Hershey’s Syrup could have been a gateway food to a life of increasingly regrettable eating habits and subpar manners. I guess I could blame my Dad. He let it slide. I had been warned many times not to drink Hershey’s Syrup straight out of the can, but I really liked the stuff, so much so that I didn’t even notice his footsteps coming up the base...

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It All Melts Away

Weekly Contest #227

It All Melts Away “If you ever find two snowflakes that are exactly alike, don’t bring them inside.” - My Dad Okay, I’ll admit it. She wasn’t completely lacking in talent, but the four pillars of her stunning Won-Loss record were: - She was sneaky. - She was ruthless. - She was relentless. - She cheated. Gamblers would have been wise to put their money on the proverbial snowball in hell rather than backing me in any of the epic battles fought on snow or ice over all those years. Old people should stay busy. It helps ...

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Rejection to Redemption

Weekly Contest #226

Rejection to Redemption Cal was thankful for nothing on Thanksgiving Day. He had less to be thankful for the next day, Black Friday. ---------- “I’m done, Cal.” “What are you talking about, Marcie? I told you I was sorry.” “I’ve had it. You’re the most inconsiderate, uncaring, selfish person I’ve ever known. Goodbye, Cal.” ---------- “No, Cal, my mind is made up. You’re fired.” “I don’t understand…” “Your business ethics suck. You are the most dishonest person I’ve ever met. I got three more complaints about you this morning. And you’ve off...

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The Lost Looking Glass of Peter Pan

Weekly Contest #225

The Lost Looking Glass of Peter Pan Strange forces were at work. The loadstone of the human mind is more mysterious, and just as powerful, as the irresistible attraction the little needle on your compass has for the land far to the North. Henry had walked this way a thousand times, but today he was swept through the front door of Trudy’s Treasures as if he were on autopilot. No thought, just feet slowly shuffling their way along the worn wooden floor through a menagerie of peculiar objects perceived by someone to have outlived their usefuln...

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Once Upon a Time in a Prison Cell Somewhere

Weekly Contest #219

Once Upon a Time in a Prison Cell Somewhere Hard time is not swinging away with a hammer at a pile of rocks under a hot sun. No, with fresh air, the sun, clouds, blue sky, movement, and even a pointless purpose, that would have been a blessing for Henry. He might see a flock of geese fly overhead, or hear the song of a cardinal or an oriol in the distance. With luck, he might even catch a light rain and turn his head upward to feel the hand of the real world on his face. Hard time is being stashed away in a God-forsaken concrete block prison...

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Falling Star

Weekly Contest #217

Falling Star “Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket." - PerryComo “Dad, thanks for coming. I know Joey appreciates you being here.” “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll never understand soccer, but I love watching Joey do anything. And there may not be many more games left for me.” “Don’t talk like that, Dad.” “What is, is, son. What is, is.” How do you get up every morning, get dressed, watch the morning news, and maybe eat a little something when you know an unbeatable foe ...

28 likes 16 comments 16
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Advice- 5 cents/$5.00

Weekly Contest #217

Advice- 5₵ $5.00 If you’ve ever wondered what happened to Lucy Van Pelt of “Peanuts” fame, you’ve come to the right place. If the topic never concerned you, well, maybe you’ll stumble across the subject in a late-night, free-wheeling Trivia game, and you can impress your friends. Young Lucy’s business model mirrored Lincoln’s reflection on the legal profession- her time and advice were her stock in trade. Children from all over the neighborhood sought her counsel on a wide variety of topics, from matters of the heart to fashion, and from ba...

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The Beavis and Butt-Head Self-Help Program for the Socially Awkward

Weekly Contest #216

The Beavis and Butt-Head Self-Help Program for the Socially Awkward Pre-school. “Ernie, have you met the new girl, Melissa?” “No, Miss Finn.” “Would you like to meet her?” “Not really.” “Well, you should want to know everyone in our group. Ernie, this is Melissa. Melissa, this is Ernie.” “Oh, I know her! She’s the one who farted in church last week.” “Earnest!” “What? She did fart, Miss Finn. Didn’t you…Melissa? Tell her how you farted right in the middle of Father John’s Homily. It was a loud one, Miss Finn! It was the funniest thing! You s...

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Cool

Weekly Contest #215

Cool High school. The land of the haves and the have-nots. The cool kids and the outcasts who gather at the nerd table in the lunchroom. The quarterback and the 3rd trombone in the school band. The Petrie dish for the natural evolution of separations within a species long before sociologists wrote about tribes and caste systems. Calvin knew where he was, and he knew he didn’t belong there. He fit in, but he hated where he fit in. His “friends” were companions. He concealed his disdain for them but never felt comfortable in their midst. It is...

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The Mentor

Weekly Contest #214

The Mentor Off-key crooning… “The green leaves of summer are starting to fall, and those…’’ “Enough with all the melancholy end-of-summer stuff, Sawyer!” “How about something a little more upbeat like a little ‘Summer Nights’ from Grease, Jesse?” “Oh my God, no. If I hear about Sandy and Danny one more time I’m going to toss my cookies. You need to move on. Summer’s over. We had a good run, but school starts tomorrow.” “Yeah, I know, but I sure am going to miss those lazy, laid-back days of summer, sleepin’ in, sittin’ on the porch sipping m...

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Attaboy, Joey!

Weekly Contest #213

Attaboy, Joey! “Attaboy, Joey! Nice swing. You can do it!” Truth be told, Joey couldn’t do it. Strike three. Joey slowly walked off the field with his head down. His Dad understood the hurt and put his arms around him. “It’s okay, Joey, you’ll get ‘em next time.” Tom didn’t really believe that, but that’s what dads say. You may have heard a coach say something like, “What a kid lacks in talent can be made up for with hard work and desire.” Don’t believe it. Joey had the heart of a lion, and he made the Little Engine That Could look like a sl...

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"Pen Pals"

Weekly Contest #212

“Pen” Pals “The guy is a genius, Matt.” “How’s that?” “You’ll see. Watch and learn.” ---------- Dear Martha, I hope this letter finds you well. The days become longer and harder here. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of holding you in my arms the day I leave this terrible place. Love, Old School P.S. Could you please put some money on my Commissary Account? ---------- Dear Sally, I hope this letter finds you well. The days become longer and harder here. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of holding...

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No Returns

Weekly Contest #212

No Returns Mr. Arnie Irk Customer Relations Acme Amateur Aviators Dear Mr. Irk, Walmart says I needed to contact you directly in regard to issues I am having with my recent purchase of your Acme Remote Control Z-127-B model airplane. I would first like to take issue with some of the language used on the Walmart site. I do not believe the term “Easy to Assemble” is an accurate description of the steps necessary to put the product together. After two days I am only on page three of your twenty-seven page instruction booklet. And “No Tools Req...

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