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Murray Burns

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Jan, 2022

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150 Stories

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The Seduction of Herb

Weekly Contest #188

The Seduction of Herb“So, what’s the catch?” Even the Party of the First Part was surprised at the quick response, the ease with which the words were spoken, void of any serious consideration of the required consequence. The implication of the message from the Party of the Second Part was that all prior elements were agreed to.     “There’s no catch, Herb. That’s the deal, straight up. You get everything I’ve promised in return for your immortal soul.”“That’s it? There is no catch?”“That’s it, Herb.”Slick black ...

17 likes 11 comments 11
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The Green Mile

Weekly Contest #187

The Green Mile“Yet ah! Why should they know their Fate? Since Sorrow never comes too late,  And Happiness too swiftly flies.  Thought would destroy their Paradise.   No more; where Ignorance is Bliss,  ‘Tis Folly to be Wise."-Thomas Grey“We have a pretty good record for adoptions. Most will find homes.”“And for those who aren’t adopted, how long before you…”“Oh, excuse me, sir, we don’t like to talk about those things in front of our clients.”“I understand.”“But this one is a real cutie. I’m ...

37 likes 22 comments 22
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Frank

Weekly Contest #186

Frank“Good morning, Frank. I’ve got a nice red one for you today.” “It’s perfect, Margie. Red was her favorite.” “Frank, you really don’t have to give me the dollar.” “I know.”----------“Here’s your coffee, Frank. I’ll bring you a menu, Leadhead.”“Thanks, Katie. Why don’t you at least look at a menu, Frank?” “I like the chicken sandwich.”“Yeah, after five years, I get that. But you might like something else.” “But I might not like it.” “Can’t argue with that.”---------- “Leadhead, where does Frank get the f...

28 likes 18 comments 18
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What, Me Worry?

Weekly Contest #185

What, Me Worry?We’ve all experienced it, that terrifying, heart-stopping, pit in the stomach moment when you realize all is not well in the universe- your car isn’t where you thought you parked it, a valuable item rattles around in the sink for agonizing moments before it disappears down the drain, an empty pocket where your wallet should be. Henry’s traumatic moment hit him like an earthquake. He was stunned, dazed, shaken, and he would soon undertake the long, painful journey through the Five Stages of Grief.“Honey, I’m home!”After twenty-...

30 likes 29 comments 29
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My Name Is Not Shirley

Weekly Contest #184

My Name Is Not Shirley“Houston, we have a problem.”“Dammit, Junior, stop calling me Houston! Surely you must know by now that drives me nuts.”“Sorry, Dad, but then you’ve got to stop calling me Shirley.”Reginald Q. Barnes, a/k/a Reggie, a/k/a Junior, made the Prodigal Son look like a pre-transformation Scrooge. Just two weeks after Dean Seymour’s admonition at matriculation that “your business here is learning”, Junior had set his own course- consume inordinate amounts of alcohol and lay as many bets and women as possible. Houston, a/k/a Mr....

16 likes 3 comments 3
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Feathers and Fur

Weekly Contest #183

Feathers and FurThis is a tale,Of forbidden love,Condemned by all creatures,And doomed from above.Noah understood. It wasn’t just man that should not be alone. All of God’s creatures crave companionship. Life is constructed in pairs.The farm was a veritable smorgasbord of livestock- cows, horses, pigs, and chickens. A small army of cats patrolled the area in search of rats, mice, ground squirrels, and other undesirable forms of life. Farmer John and his wife Betsy lived in the big old house up near the road. The only lonely soul was Monty, t...

10 likes 9 comments 9
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One Day In the Nursery

Weekly Contest #182

One Day in the Nursery  Willy: “God dammit! Do they ever turn the #%&! lights off around here?! How the hell am I supposed to get any sleep?!” Nate: “Do you eat with that mouth?! Watch your language, Willy! There are ladies present.” Gert: “Knock it off, Nate. This is the 21st Century. We don’t need any of your machismo-laced, pretentious bravado to protect us. We can take care of ourselves.” Prissy: “I think it’s sweet, Nate. It reminds me of Sir Lancelot of the Knights of the Round Table.” Willy: “Hey, Pri...

12 likes 7 comments 7
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Herb Goes Hermit

Weekly Contest #181

Herb Goes Hermit Herb peered over the top of his cubicle, mesmerized by the agonizingly slow movement of the minute hand on the clock at the far side of the room. In his one lone, exhilarating act of defiance, he had tossed his watch into the waste basket in the company cafeteria years ago. Everything else in his life was constraining and suffocating. As illusory as it was, Herb could at least imagine he was freed from the bonds of time.Time. 34 years = 408 months = 1,768 weeks =12,410 days = 297,840 hours = 17,870,400 minutes. The last 20 m...

16 likes 8 comments 8
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My Little Girl

Weekly Contest #176

My Little Girl Chapter 1I’ve had a pretty good life. I really can’t complain. It’s just a little sad to reflect back on everything when you get old. I didn’t even know I was old until someone told me. This would have been a lot easier if I had kept a diary, but I’ll do the best I can from memory. I never even met my father. I have no idea what the deal was between him and my mother. She never talked about it. I had seven brothers and sisters! There were the usual family squabbles, especially at mealtime, and there was some rough play, b...

22 likes 18 comments 18
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Leaf It To Herb

Weekly Contest #175

Leaf It To HerbDeath/Dark Humor Henpecked (Hĕn’-pĕct): Dominated or harassed (usually a man by a woman) with persistent nagging; Herb.It is sometimes difficult to ascertain with any degree of accuracy the exact moment when a man loses it, succumbs to the inner evil that lurks within, and crosses over to the dark side. Is there a point where a single drop of water can sink a ship, one more degree of temperature causes the pot to boil over, or one more screeching syllable from the tormentor pushes a man over the edge? Let’s find out.“Hey,...

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Where Have You Gone, Peter Pan?

Weekly Contest #174

Where Have You Gone, Peter Pan?“When I was child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reasonas a child; when I became a man, I put away the things of a child.” 1 Corinthians: 11-13I shave in the shower now. There’s no mirror in there. I don’t even want to see who I’ve become. Too many wrinkles, too many lines, not enough hair, no color. Sometimes, by sheer accident and the laws of probability and statistics, I’ll catch a glimpse of the old man in the mirror above the bathroom sink. I’m not even sure who he is.What happened? I ...

25 likes 28 comments 28
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The Holy Grail of Christmas Presents: The Easy-Bake Oven

Weekly Contest #173

The Holy Grail of Christmas Presents: The Easy-Bake OvenNot all dads are made alike.- Some are organized, plan ahead, and get their Christmas shopping done in November. Some are disorganized, procrastinate, and battle the crowds on December 24th to secure the desired gifts.-Some spoil and dote on their children. Some spoil and dote on their children to the extreme.-Some give up, make adjustments, and seek alternatives. Some never give up, steadfastly refuse to alter course, and stubbornly reject options.This is the sad saga of a disorganized...

39 likes 23 comments 23
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Hurry Midnight

Weekly Contest #172

Hurry Midnight“I agree, sir. It’s time for you to settle down. Get yourself a wife. Kids are great to have around. You’d like it.”“But believe it or not, Reggie, I’m having a little trouble landing a good wife. I don’t get it, I mean she’d get to live in the castle, never have to work a day in her life, she’d have tons of cool jewelry, and most of all, she’d get to be with me! You’d think chicks would love the idea. I have to be the best catch in the kingdom. Babes should be throwing themselves at me. What could possibly be the problem?”“Wel...

32 likes 22 comments 22
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Footsteps in the Snow

Weekly Contest #171

Footsteps in the SnowIt snowed that day. I remember walking in footsteps made by others while my thoughts still followed her away, for that was the last time I saw her. I remember hair mingled with snow, and a smile that wasn’t a smile. Every time it snows I remember walking in those footsteps.Regret is a fearsome adversary. How is it possible that one cannot outlive a mistake, bury it, escape it if even for a day? Would that God had instead taken an eye or a limb or trimmed a few years off my life. Banished from feelings of happiness, all j...

21 likes 16 comments 16
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The Rosary

Shortlisted for Contest #170 ⭐️

The Rosary It is a wondrous thing when two lives intersect at exactly the right time and place to create a meaningful, fulfilling future, or perhaps at least a wonderful memory. It borders on the miraculous when three lives meet at the same time and place to create that one special moment in time. But one crisp fall evening in this small town, they did. Tommy was a 6th grader at St. Mary’s. Like many young boys, he wasn’t fond of school, but it did present the opportunity to participate in his one passion in life- football. As a “scrub” on...

42 likes 45 comments 45
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