Snow Flower

Grace stared at the snow as it rested upon the world, covering it in perfect white. It was Christmas, the most wonderful time of year, filled with cheer and joy, where you are surrounded by love and cared for by the most wonderful people around.

It was supposed to be one of her happiest days, however, tears found their way on her cheeks as she cried in the cold night, alone.

Then again, loneliness had become a rather regular company of Grace, especially since the death that left her half and numb. It became another name of her daily life despite many of her failed attempts to pretend nothing bothered her. It was, of course, a huge lie that even she, herself did not believe in therefore, she did not expect others to do so. However, it was a fortune that no one really bothered her with questions and only nodded their heads when she replied to their cliche question with a quiet, "I'm fine." 

Maybe she really was or maybe it was another lie that sounded better than any kind of truth she could accept - she did not know that yet. However, Grace still tried to keep herself alive and hopeful, just because she was very well aware that if she did not do so, she would be a real hypocrite. 

If she claimed that she could live without her other half, which she did all this time, then she had to find a way to do so. Even if it appeared to be a rather hard challenge for her.

Noah Anderson was a young man that appeared in her life out of nowhere and left as one of the most important people she was meant to meet through her life. And as much as Grace tried to not think of him, on the nights the world was colored blue under the bright moonlight, she found herself doing exactly that.

Although, on certain days when she felt overly sensitive, she wished to find a way to erase all little memories she shared with Noah - like the first time they met or the one time he smiled so widely at her that Grace did not know how she survived. 

Yet, she somehow did and now usually on the nights that the moon and stars appeared rather bright, she found herself thinking about Noah more and more even if she always knew that he was always bold and radiant as the sun. That was a kind of irony about him - then again, their whole story was. So, Grace did not question it much and instead allowed her mind to wander to everything that reminded her him and let the tears to escape from her eyes for the rather cruel destiny of them. 

It had been a month since Noah lost the fight against cancer. It is such a dreadful disease, indiscriminate in its choice of victim, choosing regardless of age, gender, or status. There are plenty of stories behind the tragedy and this was theirs.

The soft knock on her door made her jump slightly and quickly wipe the tears away. She muttered a low “Come in” before the door opened, revealing her mother as she walked in with a package in her hands and a weak smile on her lips. Grace furrowed her eyebrows when her mother put the package on her bed.

“It’s a Christmas present,” her mother said before heading out of the room, whispering words that made Grace’s heart beat faster, “from Noah.”

She rushed to her bed, quickly opening the package when her eyes widened at what was inside. It was a blush pink dress, the dress that Noah made for Grace to wear in church, but destiny had other plans and made her wear a black one.

Noah Anderson was a wedding dress designer. A very talented one. No one could blame Grace for not moving on since he wasn’t someone to be forgotten easily, not when he carried kindness in him and always approached people in a good manner. He had good looks as well and he was passionate in his work, which only made him more charming than he already was.

When she pulled the dress closer to her, a letter fell down on the floor. She crumbled down and grabbed it with shaky hand, seeing the name of the person she missed the most which made her sob quietly. Tearing the letter open, she read;

Dear Grace,

If you’re reading this right now, that means I am long gone.

I woke up just now and found you sleeping next to the hospital’s bed, so I thought I have to write a letter for you. I really hope you’re having some nice time with everyone, although I know you’re still thinking about me. What can I say, I was a perfect man.

You made me the perfect man I am today.

Before I met you, I was afraid of love. I knew one day I’ll leave this world and I didn’t want to get attached to anyone. Until I met you.

“You can’t live with fear if you want to fall in love.” That’s what you told me.

You showed me what love is. You showed me what happiness is; that I didn’t even know before. I’m thankful for everything you’ve done to me.

It must be Christmas now. Merry Christmas, I hope you liked your present. Actually, I wanted to propose to you on this amazing day, I wanted to make you mine. Unfortunately, the universe refused my wish.

I know you’re crying now, aren’t you? It must be hard, I know. If you left my world, I wouldn’t know how to live without you. But I hope you’ll be okay. Do it for me. Be happy and stop crying. Don’t forget me, just think of me sometimes, and smile at the beautiful memories we shared.

You’ll wake up soon, so I need to sleep again. I like it when you start talking to me, thinking that I’m asleep but I am not. You always say the words I need to hear the most. I’m grateful you were a part of my life; a big one I must say.

I love you, Grace.

Noah…

Grace broke down crying and clutched the letter tighter. However, a part of her healed by Noah’s warm words which made her take a deep breath and look at the dress another time.

There she was, standing on the edge of the door, looking at the snowy surface in front of her before wiping her tears away. She was wearing the blush pink dress, the soft curls of her hair falling in cinnamon swirls to a face that was as sweet as a white chocolate button, and a bouquet of Amsonias that her mother bought once. 

She took a step forward, another, and another, until she was in the middle of snow. She looked mesmerizing, the most beautiful bride any of us had ever seen. Best of all was the smile upon her face for her dead groom, who couldn’t come back to her.

A tear found its way on her cheek as she closed her eyes and stayed there, looking like a flower among snow.

She was a miracle.