Bite the Hand that Feeds

CW: Inspired by classic German Folktales, popularized by the Brothers Grimm.

Nestled beneath the Arnsberg Castle on a spring afternoon, the Vehmic court was in session. The accused siblings, nervously ensconced on moss-covered seats, next to the Judge. They allegedly lived off the kindness of a talented baker, who adopted the two orphans, only for them to attempt burning her alive in her own oven and then stealing her life savings.

“They have nibbled on my house too, these Skamelar TERMITES!!”- A harshly disfigured woman, whose entire body was covered in hypertrophic scar contractures, screamed out.

​Freigraf, sitting in the center of the open-air court, assertively pointed his iron cross, with sharp edges, towards the unruly wayward for interjecting. ​“Silence! There will be order in my court!! Your turn will come. One more outburst like that, and I shall remove your tongue.”

​The plaintiff shrank back to her crudely sculpted stone bench, all while glaring at the two former adoptees seated across from her. The count proceeded to detail the alleged crime for all of Westphalia to hear.

On the judge’s table, there was evidence laid for him to inspect: charred pieces of walls, broken and caramelized windowpanes from the victim’s home. There were also statements by witnesses, as well as the bank note from the merchants who grew suspicious of the lavish spending of the two young heathens. After thoroughly inspecting everything on his table, the judge shifted his hawk-like gaze towards the plaintiff.

​“Beguine. In brief, tell the court what you accuse these two that sit across from you?”

The disabled woman visibly shook with emotion as she opened her scarred mouth. “For saving two malnourished orphans from certain death, what do I get? Gratitude? Nonono... I gave everything, nourished them, dressed them, and taught these little Rakefires an essential life skill... In return, they threw me into my own blazing oven to die! While I burned, they then robbed everything I inherited from my late husband and devoured most of my house. I mean, who does that?”

The young sister, who sat on the seat of the accused, defiantly countered, “Because you are a witch! The fact that you were able to survive being burned alive proves that you are not human!”

​“SILENCE, MARGARETE!!” Freigraf erupted once again, slamming the iron cross onto the stone table. “NO.MORE.INTERJECTIONS… Am I clear?”- The Linden tree-lined hollow surrounding the Oberfreistuhl grew dead silent.

The noble one regained his composure and proceeded with the trial. “You there, Boy. You and your sister are accused of robbery, mischief, and attempted murder. The evidence against you is damning. How do you plead?”

Hänsel was nervous. His sister was normally the one who did the thinking and the talking. He was caught off guard by Freigraf's cross-examination. The boy has seen enough condemned souls littered around town- burned on a stake or hanged from ancient Tilia trees. He needed to represent himself innocently, or they would be dead by dusk.

​As her brother’s panicked brain went blank, the silence was deafening. The noble judge raised his eyebrows. “-Ah, no contest then?”

Next to Hänsel, his restless sister urged her clunky brother with her widened eyes, and back at the Freigraf, as if to plead- ‘For the love of God, why are you asking HIM for? Please allow me to speak!’

Annoyed with reluctance, the judge simply pointed at Gretel for her chance to plead their case. “Be swift- Go on...”

​She promptly took the opportunity, with a bow. “My lord. The court. My brother and I ... We were indeed abandoned by our incompetent birth parents in the woods of Spessart. This witch captured us, made us into her slaves, and she was going to devour my brother! I simply did what was necessary to protect us. We found her belongings afterwards, and we have used them to survive ever since.”

​The count has heard of this incident. “-It is a fascinating story. Perhaps it will become a children’s fable someday.” -Sarcasm without a smile. “-That does not explain the rest. Your story has as many holes as a rancid Alpine cheese.” Freigraf twirled the iron cross on the table like a spinning totem. He did not break eye contact while doing so.

​“Here is- where my mind interweaves; How did you both know which of Beguine’s belongings were profitable, and which were not, in that sudden moment in time? Did you both ponder for days, weeks, and months in planning this ambush after all?”

As a wolf about to devour a bewildered rabbit, the judge turned to the feeble-witted sibling of the accused. "Hänsel. Townsfolk have also come forward, witnessing a previously worthless mumblecrust transforming himself, wrapped in luxury the following morning, after the ‘miraculous escape’. I am even told your father and stepmother were mysteriously poisoned a few moons ago. This all seems premeditated… Convenient.”

​On tenterhooks, the older brother cleared his throat repeatedly, tried his hardest to stop perspiring. Hänsel looked to his cunning younger sister for support. She refused to break eye contact with Freigraf. Unlike her simple elder sibling, Gretel was not the least bit intimidated by the nobleman.

​Spinning the iron cross, Freigraf gleefully read the law out loud.

​“...Sachsenspiegel: ‘He who kills another in secret, -shall be punished on the wheel, death, or outlawry’. At the moment, you both might be getting all three...”

​“My lord, if I may...” Gretel gestured as non-threateningly as humanly possible, not giving this Coxcomb any more power than he already yielded.

​In the judge’s eyes, the verdict had already been made, but he was amused at how such a frail pair of rodents still persisted in staying afloat amidst such pressure from justice. Does their immaturity prevent them from accepting their fate? Freigraf was already ahead on the month’s quota regardless. Why not be entertained right before lunch?

​“Proceed. But may this be your closing argument…Speak.”

Gretel took a deep breath and stood up from her bench. She immediately pointed her talon-like index finger towards the plaintiff, who sat across from them.

​“Madam. You say you are not a witch, and yet you practice healing and teaching not sanctioned by the church. Also, do explain how you were always able to have so much wheat, sugar, and gold, all in your home deep in the forest? How can a beguine- or a baker have such wealth without her husband during a time of famine?”

​The old woman, flabbergasted by the conciseness of the little girl’s questions, didn’t quite know how to respond. ​“N... No, wait! You! It was YOU who tricked and burned me! Stole from ME!! It is not the other way around, you twit!!”

Cling

Cling

Cling

​

The Vehmic judge loudly tapped the iron cross on his table and prevented yet another shouting match. He then turned to the scarred plaintiff and also pondered the questions at hand. As far as his records showed, this beguine has only paid the bare minimum of taxes and protection fees, due to ‘lack of revenue’.

​“What is this, Margarete speaks of? This court orders your prompt reply.”

​The plaintiff knew that if she were to share the truth, she would be the one who would be targeted by vengeful and desperate peasants who barely survived the famine.

​“I know her truth, my lord. She works for Englebert. That is why she never had to suffer, just as we all did!! She is an agent of espionage for the Mark!” Gretel continued, “I saw the checkered coat of arms that are not of Arnsberg at HER house. We have been breached by the enemy!!”

​The crowd around the outdoor court erupted in rage. No amount of tapping the iron cross quieted the mob. Freigraf motioned the guards around the outer perimeter of the court to advance and restore order. The judge regretted taking the bait of this loudmouth child. Enough stalling. It was time to get on with the final verdict. He could not be tardy to his lunch with Count Gottfried.

​“ENOUGH! This mockery of this court comes to an end, now. Hänsel and Maragrete, you are hereby sentenced to death by fire at sundown, in the courtyard. As for the beguine, I hereby...”

​As the judge stated his verdict, the crowd in front of him began to point and gawk intently over his shoulder. The plaintiff and the accused both stood up from their stone seats and also gazed in the same direction, to the south.

“Um… My lord... What was the coat of arms... Of the Mark again?” Said Gretel.

​Irritatingly, Freigraf turned to what the spectacle was all about, then he saw… Battalions of Count Englebert’s men encroaching, all holding the yellow-checkered court of arms of the Mark!

Not long after, the watchtowers by the castle blew the horns to warn of imminent attack. As if on cue, the invading forces indiscriminately fired upon every Arnsberg infrastructure with catapults, Cannon fire, and arrows. The crowd was in complete chaos, and many became instant casualties.

Even being in the eye of the storm, the judge adhered to his duties and immediately beheaded the plaintiff, deeming her the conspirator of this attack. He then turned to the two siblings, with rage in his eyes.

​“Go. Leave. If you two make it out of this, consider that the court's reversed decision and heretofore deems both of you innocent. GO NOW!!” -He then turned with his iron cross in one hand, and his sword in the other, and charged towards Englebert’s men.

Getting past the crossfire between the two houses, the siblings zigzagged through the edge of Arnsberg and back into their familiar forest. In the distance, they witnessed more carnage and destruction, and black smoke bellowing from all corners of the besieged city.

​“Humans are such an awful species. Look at them- blinded by power and greed. So easy to manipulate. I barely had to use my magic at all”- Gretel shook her head in disgust.

​“But how did you get the Marks to attack Arnsberg at that exact timing?”- Hänsel pondered.

​The sister was immediately reminded of her brother’s cluelessness, which nearly foiled the plan. Gretel extended her claws, spun around with ferocious speed, kicking Hasel in the ribcage and slashing his face.

​“You, beef-witted turd! You freezing at his questions almost got us to judgment earlier, then we would have been in our own sabotage. We rehearsed it! Why can’t you carry your own weight, Hänsel?! I always have to do everything for us! It’s absolutely exhausting!!”

​Shocked and dazed from Gretel’s attack, Hänsel cowered in a U shape on the forest floor.

​“I’m sorry... I couldn’t think of anything to respond to the judge at that moment. I just... Just got really hungry...”

​Gretel relaxed a bit and chuckled, “You stupid Ass. You are always starving…” As she said so, Hänsel expanded into a plump Donkey. He brayed to receive head scratches to break the tension of the moment.

​“Hey, we still have plenty of rotten noble Bobolynes to trick, and Empires to topple. Don’t get too comfy in your original form. Come on…” Hänsel was always so good at shapeshifting, but he always turned back into a fussy Donkey when he didn’t feed. As Gretel reluctantly rubbed his forehead, Hänsel snorted in contentment.

​Out of the Spessart forest, the road forked in two directions: Stuttgart on the right, Munich and Tyrol on the left. “What do you say, brother? Short walk, or a looooong walk??”

​The Donkey grumbled apathetically. He was too preoccupied nibbling on mushrooms and insects that he foraged.

​“Fine. Then, left we will go.”

​Gretel altered herself into a Raven with sleek black feathers. She croaked commandingly, and off they went-

To further challenge and disrupt the hypocrisy of humankind.

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