The art of enjoying your own company.

The art of being alone, the art of enjoying your own company. Finding solace in your own company, your own voice, silencing the loud ones in the head, making fantasies about a life you desire to have, both nostalgia and deja vu from a place familiar, while still being, living, and existing in the present. To be human, if you asked me, but with more alone company, it hits deeper.

So it hits you that ten years from now you will be experiencing life so differently from where you are now, that is, if you make it out alive. Perhaps you'll be over your midlife crisis with your already receding hairline, and ten years later you'll have made peace with your new identity and won't be minding your scalp anymore. Time is the only constant thing.

Or how ten years ago you were only worried and bothered about your shifting hormones as a teenager, but today you have ten times as much on your plate: worrying about bills, money, success, your aging parents, turning decades older with nothing to show, or having faith in deals here and there, waiting for evidence of your hard work to finally show.

Like a seed growing in the concrete, pushing its way out to catch the sunlight, or a fetus growing in the womb: slow milestones, growth, patience, incubation. Good things take time. Slow ants and moles eventually create hills. Trust the process. Rome wasn't built in a day, but Rome was built every day.

To be lost in your own company as a creator and writer, in the woods, in nature, by the stream, with chirping birds as a distraction in the distance, feels like an enmeshment of belonging, finding a sanctuary, and meeting God. Perhaps because in that moment, alone and not lonely, your mind can only do a vivid flashback, foreshadowing, wandering, flip-backs of motion, your vulnerability taking control, coming to terms with the truth about who you are as a person: the whys of your being, your traumas, your weaknesses, your strengths, your shortcomings, your background, your roots, your identity, your personality, your character.

I think that's why they say you can never run away from yourself, for yourself is your own truth. The truth, however, is that no one can be you, and that's the ardent win about individualism. You can only be as powerful as you can imagine, because even the powerful ones just decided to believe after they imagined it, or maybe envisioned it while others dreamt about it. The constant is that they never lost sight of it.

I have become so addicted to my own company, because that way, I don't have to explain myself to anyone: the silly jokes or crazy dreams in my head, the intrusive thoughts, replaying scenes and imagining scenarios, overthinking, kissing a crush. Which, to someone else, would either be an inside joke or a missed joke altogether.

But returning to self occasionally is a win. Like a smoker taking a quick smoke break, it's the adrenaline and the head rush that make it whimsically tantalizing and intriguing. One puff, two puffs, slow breaths. Just a cancer stick that gives a temporary high, making you feel as if you're inhaling the good vibes and exhaling the bad and bullshit. Oh, I didn't say bad and boujee, maybe that's what the chain smokers would say.

Have we met before? I went on a blind date with her—the refining, redefining, visitation of moments and memories that tore me apart and reminded me that sometimes, pain is a part of us. Healing happens in layers, in parts, and sometimes there are relapses because it's not linear.

So, be gentle with those parts when they make an appearance. Parts that need extra caution and intense care: the loud ones, the ones we don't fully move on from but don't necessarily dwell on. The hurt, the grief, the betrayal, the loss, the mishaps, the delays, derails, and detours. Albeit disappointing to keep meeting them, even when they were to make an appearance, you wouldn't fret much. It's like baking in the oven and awaiting results from the recipe, or delivering a baby after its due date. The ends to the means.

Tending to the parts of us that are too sensitive, too sloppy, too slippery, knowing how to welcome them, to bandage them up, to stitch the wounds, to mask them—careful this time not to bleed like the first time.

Putting in the work, day by day, continuously, consistently, even when it feels hard, impossible, or undoable. Chasing the days that leave us with a high of enjoying life, and the slow ones reminding us that it's just a passing cloud. To catch the sunsets, watch the horizon, dance more, hug and love those closest to us, spreading kindness like Nutella. Love never hurt, only the loud, hearty laughs, but a worthy hurt, to make more memories and enjoy the momentum!

To have found my higher self seeking the Most High, in this intimate sanctuary where only He and I have conversations, revelations, manifestations, restoration, and transformation. To meet my highest self is to meet God, to seek His guidance. Having a master planner means you're both a masterpiece and a work in progress, so you keep creating, doing what sets your soul on fire.

To walk on purpose never felt so rewarding, albeit excruciating. Like specifically gathering the points and pointers, sent on an assignment to deliver, like a midwife or a mediator. The purpose of delivery remaining at a standstill even when sometimes it feels rare and undoable,but still; choosing, believing, and doing it anyway.

There is an overflowing joy and beaming smiles that come from fulfilling your desires, like living inside the bubble of your dreams, so surreal, or being surrounded by a love almost palpable, that it feels like an everlasting home that you carry everywhere and shelter the warmth of what comes with it.

I hope you are immersed in the adventure of choosing and chasing your dreams, the bubble ripple effect that makes you believe in the impossible, or being in your head too much birthing a concept or dreams that only you can tell. The mind is a beautiful place to feed with what we want to see, with what we want to come to fruition, with the wildest imagination that enables us to chase for what we desire.

The programming to your core belief that whatever's doable is achievable and whatever achievable is doable. Like a yin yang, or contrast and boomerang. To get solutions and results in the long run. To be emotive and human.!