Chapter Closed

Six years had passed since the former Viscountess Alexandra of Pembroke, now the Grand Duchess Alexandra of Blackwood, had stepped foot in the chapel, the last place she wanted to go. It was the same chapel where she was to have been wed. But this time, she came alone without her husband, something she rarely did. She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her as a particular memory coursed through her mind. The one that had shattered her life came flooding back. Six years ago she and Count Frederick of Norfolk stood in the chapel ready to be wed, but at the last moment he had walked away from her.

A white envelope was sticking out of a Bible and without thinking she took it in her trembling hands. She recognized the writing instantly. She would recognize that cursive anywhere: Frederick’s writing. She began to read the letter which tugged at her heart and tears threatened to spill down her face as she read the shocking contents. Frederick’s confession about why he left her was not abandonment but rather a service of self sacrifice as he had been accused of a crime he had no involvement in. He went on to state that the crime would have him hanged and she would live her life in constant danger because of him. He concluded that this wasn’t her fault in the least but rather the work of Providence which separated them. He gave closure by stating that if their paths ever diverged it would not be by mere choice but by fate.

My dear Alexandra,

Six years ago we were to be wedded in this church and start the life that we dreamt of. Only for Providence to separate it from us. That day - I left you alone on that altar crying still haunts me but I had to do it. I had been accused of a major crime that would’ve hanged me if I had stayed in your life. I knew that if I chose to begin a life anew with you, we would’ve been on the run and your life would’ve been in constant danger. I couldn’t afford that so I made the only decision that I could: leave you at the altar. Providence separated us but will we ever cross paths again it will be not by choice but by Providence itself.

Wait and Hope.

Love,

Frederick

Alexandra stared at Frederick’s confession, aghast. She looked like a pale ghost. Frederick’s confession had finally given her closure that she needed. For six years, she had believed that he abandoned her for another woman. When in fact, he had left her because he didn’t want her to be endangered. His choice was veiled in deception: he had wanted the people in the church - including her parents - to believe that he didn’t care and didn’t want to create a meaningful life with her. But in reality, he did want her and his letter said so desperately; but it would’ve killed him if his choice to marry her endangered her life constantly. It was love, devotion and protection all veiled into what everyone believed was deception.

But deep in her heart Alexandra knew that she and Frederick could never reunite. It sent an ache through her chest and tears threatening to spill down her face because she knew that he had moved on with his life and he had given her closure. By leaving his confession in plain sight, their lives were no longer intertwined. She knew that they were separated by time. Tucking the letter into her bodice, she walked out of the chapel, knowing that it was a remnant of the past. A remnant of the life she had once pictured with Frederick disintegrated into ash the moment that she walked out of the chapel.

Something in her had changed: Frederick had once been the love of her life but now that seemed like it had been another lifetime. She was happily married and devoted to her husband and to pursue Frederick would cause a major scandal that the ton of London society would love to gossip about.

Besides, how could she be sure that Frederick was the same innocent man she had fallen in love with six years ago? Six years was enough time for a man to change himself. Hell, even a year was enough time for a man to physically and mentally change himself. How could she be sure he was still the same man when she didn’t even know where he was? All she could do was accept that he had moved on and so had she. Unless they were reunited by fate, their lives were no longer intertwined and they were no longer the same people.

Six years ago:

Viscountess Alexandra of Pembrook stood outside the chapel, gowned in ivory silk and walked with the grace of a lady who had been taught time and time again how to walk gently. Today she was to be wed to Frederick, the Count of Norfolk and she was to become the new Countess of Norfolk. As she walked the sunlight spilled through the windows casting her in it as an angel that was descended from the heavens.

Frederick turned to look at his bride, his breath catching as he saw her beauty. But something flickered in his eyes as he knew that it was at the moment she stood before him that he would do the most asinise thing he would ever do in his life. He would have to abandon her and show members of the chapel that he no longer wanted to establish a life with her. His plan was in motion as he decided that he had been having an intimate relationship with another woman, but the reality was much harsher: he was convicted of a crime that would sooner or later see him executed and for the lovely Alexandra to marry him would place her in a compromising position. He wasn’t going to endanger her life, even if it meant destroying her own happiness and seeming to be content with it. But it had to be done and today had been the perfect day for it: in front of at least three hundred witnesses who would see a Count abandon a bride who had turned down a Duke for him would surely feed into high society London gossip.

The moment that she ascended the steps of the altar like one ascending to the throne, Frederick took a slight step back and Alexandra with her blue eyes looked at him and she could see that his eyes hid something. Something that he was refusing to tell her, but before she could even get a word out of her mouth he turned and left. Each step with the confidence of a man who had played his cards well. She called his name once, then desperately but he didn’t stop. He refused to even acknowledge her pleas as she begged him calling his name more desperately than the last and each plea tore at the strings of his heart. But he couldn’t look back even as murmurs and gasps began to shift within the crowd. He got in his carriage just as he saw Alexandra in her gown, stained with mud and debris, crying and begging him to stop but he left her. He didn’t need to turn his head to know that she was crying but this was the only way to keep her safe.

Luckily for him, he had made the necessary preparations to leave England and flee to Austria for the time begin. But the memory of Alexandra in her ivory silk dress crying on the steps of the chapel would haunt him for the rest of his life. But none of this was her fault. It was the moment that Providence itself had drawn a wedge between them.

Once he was in Austria, Frederick immediately with the assistance of his friend established his new identity -no longer was he Count Frederick - but Archduke Charles of Austria and he was inducted to the Austrian royal court where he began to serve as a courtier to Emperor Franz Joseph all while seeking his revenge against the men who wanted him hanged. Yet never did he forget the respect he held for Alexandra nor did he even forget her name.But it never slid out of his mouth whenever other Archdukes and nobles asked him if he ever had a lady he loved or if there was one awaiting him. He was a master at deflecting their questions by turning it on them.

Emperor Franz Joseph ensured that the new Archduke of Austria was given the proper ‘training’ as that of a courtier which Charles excelled at. He was dispatched to France, Italy and Sweden on behalf of the Austrian court. Given his calm demeanor and excellence as a courtier, Charles became a favorite of the emperor who six years after his ‘entrance’ into Austria was told that he was to go to England and meet the new Grand Duke and his wife the Grand Duchess of Blackwood. The word ‘England’ struck the Archduke like a blow to the face and moreover he knew that the Blackwoods were one of the most prominent and highly respected families within Oxfordshire. But then one question came to mind: was Alexandra the new Grand Duchess of Oxfordshire? Had she moved on to a life more grand than his? He objected to the Emperor’s request but each attempt was fruitless as the Emperor wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. With each lacking attempt, the Archduke finally relented and agreed to the emperor’s request and sailed back to his native country.

Upon his arrival to his native land, a wave of nostalgia washed over him. Suddenly he didn’t feel like an Archduke, but more like the Count he used to be. He settled in his carriage and arrived at Blackwood estate, where he was greeted by nobles and when asked about which prominent family he was from Austria, and he gave his responses as he made his way through the crowd and stopped dead in his tracks.

There standing in the great hall with its lavish windows and glowing candlelight was the Grand Duke Alexander of Blackwood, tall and lean, his bearing unmistakably younger and next to him was Alexandra, the Grand Duchess of Blackwood and she looked more mature but still young. She was wearing a lovely light blue satin dress embossed with a lovely pattern of roses, a diamond necklace, diamond earrings with her auburn hair pinned up high and a tiara resting atop her head symbolizing her status as Grand Duchess. Yet none of her grace or elegance had left the former Viscountess.

However, while the Grand Duke exchanged a warm welcome of words with the Archduke, the Grand Duchess immediately saw through the facade of the Archduke: it was Count Frederick. She recognized him in ways a moth recognizes flame. All of it was in his own bearing: the expressive gray eyes but it was his voice and the way he looked at her with respect that gave it all away. Emotions began to flood through her as she began to process this new information. While her husband went to acknowledge other nobles and talk with newly wedded Charles Spencer-Churchill the 9th Duke of Marlborough and his wife American heiress Consuelo Vanderbilt 9th Duchess of Marlborough.

As she watched her husband walk away, the Grand Duchess suggested a walk to the Archduke. He nodded as the two made their way into another drawing room. She began to ask about his life and how it was at the Austrian royal court and he answered these questions with earnest before she finally asked him who he truly was and for a moment he froze but then regained his composure and stated that he was Charles Archduke of Austria only for her to smirk as she stated that she had been to Austria for a ball; a few months before meeting her husband and there was talk of an Archduke Charles but never any mention of his family. She told him to drop all pretenses and calmly stated that he was Count Frederick, the same man who had left her alone at the altar six years ago without any explanation as to why he left her crying on the stone steps.

Shocked that she nearly exposed him but glad that it was just the two of them, he took her to the alcove and told her that he wasn’t who she imagined himself but her sharp intelligence outmanvered his own; as she stated that there was a man with those unmistakably gray eyes and that soft voice often rehearsed gave him away. Keeping his composure he knew that all the defenses he had built came crumbling around him but he asked her perception of that man and what drove her away from him to a Grand Duke. Gazing into her piercing blue eyes she told him how he had left her on her wedding day, how his abandonment caused a stir of gossip from the ton within London society, and how she had believed that he had been the man that she would spend the rest of her life with and that she had wanted to marry him not for any title but for what he represented. As she spoke, each word landed like the weight of a freight train upon Frederick and he asked how she met the Grand Duke. Her reply was simple at a ball hosted by the Blackwoods and that she saw that the Grand Duke represented exactly what she needed: stability, kindness and most importantly love. He didn’t care for her title as a Viscountess but for who she was and how he longed for her. She said that he helped her get over Count Frederick of Norfolk and within two months of the latter’s departure they were wedded, but not in the chapel where she was to be wedded to her previous love. The confession was mentally killing Frederick though he tried to hide it as she had penetrated each of his defenses to ash. But he wouldn’t admit he was the man she was to have married, instead he congratulated her on her marriage. As they made their way back to the grand hall, Frederick couldn’t help but wonder how he and Alexandra, once meant to wed, had changed immensely. He had changed by establishing a reputation by fleeing to Austria under false pretense of a man who didn’t exist and rose to becoming a courtier, while she had married a Grand Duke who clearly loved her. But the pain of it stung: he couldn’t and maybe he wasn’t capable of loving her like he once had. He needed to do something about this mess.

He highly respected the Grand Duke and saw how happy the man made Alexandra feel cherished, something that he had failed to do. His mind went to the revenge that he longed for but thought for a moment: was that what he wanted to do with his life? Seek revenge against those who wronged him six years prior? What good would that do him? The thoughts continued to consume him during his stay at Blackwood manor. For the next few days he thought of the man he had once been. An innocent man who though wronged believed that revenge was not only a sin but a life wasted away.

On his final day in London, Frederick made one last stop at the chapel where he was to have wedded Alexandra. He had written a short letter declaring his feelings for her and how he respected her too much to ever come back to him. Adding to that equation, she was happy with her husband and he wasn’t going to take that away from her. No, she needed to be happy and deserved to be. Even if she still loved him, her life was laid out before her. But there was still one thing that he could give her: closure. Proof that he had loved her but there had been other plans in store for them. Walking into the chapel, he tucked the letter inside a bible and set out for the docks. As he boarded the ship he knew that he wasn’t going to go back to the Austrian court especially if Emperor Franz Joseph was going to send him back to England again. He had no wish to continue his life as the Emperor’s courtier.

No, he was no longer Count Frederick of Norfolk and nor was he Archduke Charles of Austria - both identities had dissolved into thin air. Count Frederick had died the day he walked away from a lovely Viscountess and Archduke Charles of Austria had died the moment the Grand Duchess gave her confession. No he was going to sail wherever Providence led him. For once, he wasn’t going to depend on the choices of others, his next destination wasn’t laid out but it would be in a given time. He had given up on revenge as he knew that wasn’t the kind of life he wanted to live. But for now all that lay was the vast open sea.

Present Day:

Alexandra stood by the hearth, letter still in hand. But enough was enough, without a second thought she threw it into the fire and watched the flames disintegrate it into ash. If she had kept it longer, she was going to fall back down again. That letter was closure and she was ready to move on with her husband. But if she and Frederick ever crossed paths, it was only because fate allowed them to. He would live his life and she would live hers. That was all that there was to it now.