Don’t lose your head

Include the line, “Have we met before”? in your story

“I have failed this week’s writing task already, because I don’t like watching, or even attempting to write about horror, BUT I have gained a few more followers this week, and I am extremely grateful for this”;

“I like to write, and to challenge my mind, and with my extra followers ‘in mind’, then I have made an attempted humorous effort for them”!?

Don’t lose your Head

“Have we met before, because you have a familiar

face……

and I’ll have to check my collection of heads, that I

keep around the place”!

“I might add you to my collection, because your

smile is so fine,

and I’ll have to cut off your head, and pickle it, at

that precise time”!

“Your smile, with your face, won’t be going to

waste,

I’ll put your head in a jar, and put it in my ‘pride of

place”!

“Yes….you will go on top of the television, and

then I can see your face each day…..

and my dogs can eat your body, and that’s their

treat today”!

“I might tear out some organs first, and fry them

for my lunch,

before the dogs can eat the rest, and be a happy

bunch”!

Human kidney and chips, “now that sounds good

to me,

and I’ll freeze the other one, and have it for

tomorrow’s tea”!

“I don’t want to eat your ‘cheesy feet’, nor do I

want your arse,

I should have looked closely before I killed you-

“this act has been a farce”!

Your organs inside look bad, “so only God knows

what you’ve eaten,

but whatever it is, it looks ‘well and truly

beaten”!

“My dogs seem contented with the body, and

they have some lovely juicy bones,

but there’s lots of blood, and other bodily fluids,

in colours of many different tones!

“So, I have a lot of cleaning up, before the police

arrest me for this crime,

because it’s obvious I’m guilty, and I go to prison

for the rest of time”!

The police eventually arrested me, and I awaited

my fate,

“Your crime was evil”, said the judge “and I

suppose you think you’re great”?

“You won’t see freedom again, and you’ll ’live-out’

your life in chains,

and I hope you feel uncomfortable, lonely and

you suffer many pains”!

“I agreed with the sentence, but was there a

need ‘for that’ final remark,

‘but at least’ he didn’t say “and you’ll end your

life with torture, and mostly in the dark”!

“Your body will go to the sharks, who await their

daily feed,

and I hope that you regret your crimes, and this

awful deed”?

I don’t do horror, (“as you can probably tell”!), and I won’t give any further opinions on this subject, but I’ll attempt to explain why;

It all began when I met, and later married, my wife(“you need say no more…… ‘some might say”!!!)……….

When we were a young couple, and there were some films that were redeemed to be too scary, and impressionable for young eyes, and you had to be over 18 years of age to watch them(“some English people might remember”?), and then horror went beyond the boundaries of ‘some guy (“with an apparently scary”) rubber mask on, fanged plastic teeth, and an enthusiastic orchestra that highlighted the high tones from a screechy violin! Horror became ‘twisted and evil’, when ordinary kitchen, or garden appliances, became sick weapons(“the ‘chainsaw massacre springs to mind”!), when an item of gardening equipment went beyond cutting off tree branches, or even cutting a whole tree down, “NO, this item was used to cut off human limbs, and dissect the body, and there were other gruesome films of this nature”! My girlfriend(“wife now”) would prefer to watch a film about horror, and me being a gentleman, gave in, and we got a horror film, ‘even though I had to walk home in the dark afterwards, and we rented a film on video tape(“I must tell you more about this ancient device, that captured pictures on a thin plastic tape, that was played in a big metal machine, that was comparable with a briefcase, and a machine that was, initially, about as smooth and quiet as starting up an old petrol lawnmower! But anyway, I digress, and we sat down to watch it, and about half the way through the film she would be fast asleep, but I would foolishly watch it all the way through!(“I don’t know what I was expecting, perhaps….. “all of the body parts to be successfully glued back on, or they all lived happily ever after…… The End”!)

Running home afterwards was stressful, and running past grassy hedges always had a threat….. “would someone suddenly jump out with a knife, or even a chainsaw”? “I ran so fast sometimes, that I think that I was very close to creating a new World record in the 200 metres!

Horror films should still have that warning(‘you must be over 18 years of age to watch this film’) because those ideas, are duplicated in the ‘streets’, and ‘some people’ try to go ‘one better’, and they create there own evil violent acts!

On these video tapes should be an added warning about these films and their content, and with the added sentence’s- ‘The scenes that you view, might affect your life for a few years, and might cause you to drink more alcoholic fluids; Please remember that nobody was hurt, or actually died in the making of this movie, but the actors are now either alcoholics, or they require drugs to control their nervous disposition’s……. So, here is some nice soothing music for you”!

‘Each to their own’, I say, “some people like mouldy cheese that looks like it was the left-over’s from the ‘last supper’, some people like to drink homemade wine, made from fermented fruit or vegetables, that have those ‘notes’ of penicillin or mould!

So, sorry to my followers if you feel that I’ve let you down, but on another sad note/excuse, “My friend, and brother-in-law was buried this week, and I’d rather be cheerful than think of anything ‘dark and gloomy”!

“Sorry to disappoint those awaiting to be

terrified, and for my writing NOT leaving

you in suspense,

and you won’t feel sick in your stomach, nor

will you feel tense,

you won’t need to close your eyes with fear,

because no hideous human, or monster, will

suddenly appear”!

“You won’t be mentally scarred, nor will you

become a nervous wreck, and I might even

create a smile on your face, that’s just above

your neck”?

“If you really wanted to be frightened, then

suddenly I might go ‘BOO’,

so read my words, or don’t….. the choice is up

to you”?👻

Anyway, that was my feeble version of horror, and if you do have nightmares, then “you’re a ‘big girl’s blouse’👚”!