Luna's Lunar Breakdown

Loneliness. It waxes and it wanes. I look around at all that I have. All of the moon is mine now. I had friends, but they turned into aliens. Since they have been gone, I howl at night, where it's always dark but somehow bright enough for me to see what I lost. From my sight, I've disassociated from earth, but I sometimes feel as if the stars aligned for this path. What seemed so big and all that mattered is now a spec in my eye. Now here I am, the true loner wolf who howls at the moon, day and night. Months go by. Why did I try to take my life?

April 1st, 2026

Hi, my name is Luna and I wrote that. I'm aware. Not very impressive poetry. I was sent to the moon after I went a little cuckoo back on Earth. How is it by the way? Still money hungry?

Anyway, yes, I'm here. The same day, Artemis went to the moon. This extraordinary event is actually quite extraordinary. They got your ass, APRIL FOOLS! Their project wasn't to establish a long-term human presence on the Moon. Okay, well, maybe, but not what you think. I'm here as the first test subject for long-term stay. So, instead of mental hospitals being on Earth, all the crazy people get to be sent to the moon. Remember when the President mentioned he was going to bring back the mental asylums for the people, particularly the ones on the streets? Guess all you crazy bitches who worship the skies and the terms of fate shit were right. They said we were going to be sent here to become more in touch with ourselves. Kind of like when you read your birth chart, well, here they want us to discover ourselves. That's the feedback they want.

Hm.. to the moon, reminds me of when I would get in trouble as a kid and my dad would bawl up his fist.. Oh no, that sounds horrible. He did not abuse me. I actually came from a pretty normal life, but I was still depressed. Anyhow, my dad would say, "I'll send your ass to the moon." As he balled up his fist like he was going to knock me straight there in that moment. The rush of adrenaline that I would get in that moment could never compare to the blast off that hit me like a ton of bricks. No, more like God smacked me right in the face for trying to kill myself. It hurt. Take-offs aren't easy. Pretty sure I went unconscious during the trip. No telling what they did to me while I was out. Probably bugged me. But then again, I felt that way on Earth, so who really knows what they did?

Okay, signing off.

Luna Higginbotham

April 2nd, 2026

Isn't it funny that they capitalize the planets' names? Earth. Is it cause it's so big? Not as big as outer space, clearly. E for Empty is what I say. Outer . Even naming outer space was a stupid name for it. You took up space by saying the word space instead of just putting space there. Outer . See? It works the same. Clearly, you guys are the weirdos, and now this world orbits around me. On a side note, it's technically been 2 months here, and I've forgotten what it feels like to be depressed with people surrounding me. Now that I'm all alone, I realized depression and loneliness are an anchoring gravity that always keeps you there. Grounded. People around tend to prevent suicide, but not well enough. I don't mean that in any rude way, other than you guys on Earth didn't help much. Now, when I'm with myself, I feel like there is someone with me who cares about me. Self-care. This is what it feels like. It's nice. Guess I just needed to get away from the world. Note to Earthers: Take care of yourself, love yourself, get away from the world. Close your eyes: it's just you and the Moon.

Signing off,

Luna Higginbotham

April, 3rd 2026

Did you know that the Moon is debris of Earth that clumped together after a Mars-sized rock slammed into Earth? Neither did I. The experimental team sends me random facts about the Moon from time to time. Technically, if you think about it, I never left Earth, just on another part of it. Oh, another cool fact they sent me on the first day was that the Moon continues to move further away from Earth. See?! Even Earth wants to get away from itself. I just wanna get away from myself but understand myself. Why is it so hard to do when you are surrounded by others? Loneliness is ​not the lack of company; it is the lack of connection. Only I can provide myself with that connection.

Signing off,

Luna Higginbotham

April, 4th 2026

Today I experienced a moonquake. The experimental team sent me another fact. Did you know that moonquakes are caused by tidal stresses from Earth? That's insane. Something so far away but barely relatable can affect you. The earth affects the moon; humans affect other humans. I blame the loneliness on you. However, if that's the case, that means we're connected, which means I'm never alone even if I feel like it. There have been phases and realizations here. Hopefully, I could come back home and deal with it. Maybe loneliness was never about being physically alone. Maybe it was about feeling unaffected. Unseen. Untouched. But the Earth still pulls at the moon hard enough to crack it. Maybe people have been pulling at me the whole time, too.

Signing off,

Luna Higginbotham

April 5th, 2026

Today I watched the Earthrise. Beautiful coming out of the dark like that. The moon does the same thing for Earth sometimes. Funny. The same phenomenon was replicated. Looking at it from out here. I feel so small. But then I realize that everything is also in me, and I am in everything. I used to think Earth was the problem. Too loud. Too greedy. Full of people who pretend to care. Now I'm seeing it differently. From Earth and space, humans are also just pieces of debris that clump together. Maybe we're supposed to follow the gravity of each other. Otherwise, we drift too far out. ​When you feel lonely on Earth, remember it's not because you're alone. It's because you weren't recognized for the debris that joined together to make you. You aren't alone. You are just a part of something so big, something so beautiful, that you can't recognize it while you're in it.

I can feel humanity pulling at me. Somehow it still aches.

Signing off,

Luna Higginbotham

LUNAR BEHAVIORAL REHABILITATION INITIATIVE

SUBJECT REPORT: LH-01

STATUS: ACTIVE

Subject exhibits:

decreased emotional volatility

improved self-preservation tendencies

increased acceptance of prolonged isolation conditions

No behavioral escalation observed.

Notable quote from latest journal entry:

“Maybe we're supposed to follow the gravity of each other.”

Statement flagged as evidence of restored communal cognition.

Recommendation:

Continue observation period.

Begin Phase Two: candidate evaluations.