Clueless

Funny Fiction

Written in response to: "Write a humorous story about the descendant of someone remembered for an insignificant act." as part of Legacies.

"Wow! I met him at last," Hint said.

"Who have you met?" Clue asked.

"I know you are the son of Bobel prize winnerβ€”Bracket," Hint said.

"Yeah, I am his son and what is a Bobel prize?" Clue asked. He was a fairly well built man with sparkling blue eyes and curly brown hair.

"Then I'm honoured to meet you. You don't know what a Bobel prize is?" Hint asked. He was a fat, dark eyed man with a round face and blond hair.

"That is what I asked you now," Clue said.

"Hey, guys. The Bobel prize winner, Bracket's son doesn't know what a Bobel prize is?" Hint announced.

"What a humble person!" the crowd gathered in the small street shouted. Then a small car stopped before Hint and Clue.

"All aboard," the driver said.

Clue struggled not to get in but the crowd pushed him inside. Hint also got into the car.

"It's an honour to have you in my car," the driver said. The driver was a plump man with an oval face, dressed in white.

"Please let me down," Clue requested.

"Hint and I will show you around the city and make you understand about this small city," the driver said.

"Why should I know about this city? I am not gonna live here," Clue said.

But, Hint and the driver didn't acknowledge him.

"Our town is known by the name Thing. This is a stunning city and has an amazing sunset and sunrise. The sun rises in the west and sets in the north," Hint said.

"What a stupid name kept to a city," Clue thought.

"The sun rises in the east and sets in the west," Clue corrected Hint.

Clue had arrived in this city to meet his mother after many years. He went to pursue his education abroad and had returned as a doctor. 

"Whatever you say is right, my lord," Hint said.

"Why was this town named Thing?" Clue asked.

"Whoever gets the Bobel prize names the city and this was the name kept by your father," Hint explained.

The driver was watching Clue intently. So, he missed the road. He crashed onto a tree and the car's front part became like a jack in the box.

"Hey, you. What are you driving? You could have killed us," Clue said, rubbing away at his bruises.

"Yes, I was driving the car. When I saw you, I was charmed and wanted to watch you as long I could. We may walk from here to see the amazing monuments," the driver said, still watching Clue intently.

"Don't keep watching me. Like the car crash, you may crash onto a tree. Okay, let's walk," Clue said, mockingly.

"Wow! I have got scoldings from a scholar. This is the luckiest day in my life," the driver exclaimed with happiness.

Clue didn't know where to bang his head against. He became distressed as he was travelling with two fools.

The car driver's phone started vibrating. He attended the call and said, "Hey, Physics. I have met the great Bobel prize winner's son."

And Physics replied something and hung the call.

"Why did you name your son, Physics?" Clue asked.

"Then I would become the father of Physics," the car driver said. This annoyed Clue a lot. 

Then, Hint pointed at a building which looked like a cheese block and said, "the name of that amazing monument is Butter."

"Wow! Whoever kept the name should be the greatest fool in the world,β€œ Clue exclaimed.

"Then that fool is your father," Hint said. At least, Clue was not born in such a foolish city and he felt happy about it.

"Mr. Car driver, you are so fat. What activity do you do everyday?" Clue asked with concern.

"I play tennis, cricket and carrom board daily," the driver said.

"How many hours do you play?" Clue asked.

"Until the battery in my mobile phone runs out," the driver replied.

Clue just rubbed his head in confusion.

"What's a Bobel prize?" Clue asked.

"It's the highest honour given to anyone in this city. It's given for great achievers in this city and your father had done a great achievement," Hint explained.

Then a huge crowd gathered in front of Clue.

"Wow! See the Bobel prize winner's son," everyone shouted in unison.

"Another bunch of fools," Clue thought.

"All of them in this crowd follow your father's path," Hint said.

Clue didn't even know about his father's path. He had not even talked to them for many years.

"You should only open our shopping mall," the crowd yelled.

"Okay," Clue sighed. He certainly had no choice.

He was lifted up by the huge crowd and dropped in front of a huge building. 

Clue slowly walked near the entrance of the shopping complex.

Instead of a scissors or a knife, he was given a huge stick of wood.

"Break the door, break the door," the crowd chanted.

"But, why?" Clue asked. He saw a man with a small key in his hand and with sheer guessing knew that it was the key of the door.

"It is our tradition to break the door before entering the building," Hint whispered.

"Such destructive thoughts," Clue thought. He snatched the key from the man and opened the door.

"Ooooooh," the crowd went.

When he went into the shopping mall, Clue was shocked.

There was nothing on all those floors. No stalls and no goods. It was completely empty except a large statue of his father. He became completely clueless.

All the people in the crowd looked in awe at the empty building.

"What is this, Hint? There is nothing in this shopping mall, but all the people are watching it in awe," Clue asked Hint.

"This is the most wonderful building ever built in this city. It has completely nothing," Hint exclaimed happily.

Now, Clue had serious doubts about his father.

"What did my father achieve to get a Bobel prize?" Clue asked.

"It was the biggest achievement in the city," Hint said.

"What did he do?" Clue asked, hurriedly. 

The driver slowly pronounced,"he did nothing."

Posted Sep 04, 2020
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152 likes 464 comments

Skyler Woods
September 10, 2020 08:04

A very cute story! Loved the characters and their names! A funny tale that had an element of British humor. Loved it! πŸ’–

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September 10, 2020 08:05

Glad you loved it! πŸ’–πŸ’ž
Thank you for reading, Skye.(check out my bio!)

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Yolanda Wu
September 10, 2020 06:10

This was a really interesting story. The dialogue and the humour was intriguing and well-written. I really enjoyed reading this story. Amazing work!

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September 10, 2020 06:12

I am glad you enjoyed reading my story. Thank you for reading.
(would you mind liking my story? Thanks)

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Yolanda Wu
September 10, 2020 06:18

Yeah of course!

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September 10, 2020 06:18

Thanks!!!

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Lee Jay
September 10, 2020 04:49

Wow. The ending is so mysterious and thought provoking - I was not expecting that. very interesting work. Great job

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September 10, 2020 05:03

Thank you :)

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S. Closson
September 10, 2020 02:22

This story was funny! I enjoyed the absurdity of it. Keep writing!

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September 10, 2020 02:26

I am glad you enjoyed my story. Thank you for reading :)

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Good job! I really liked how you incorporated humor into your story.
Keep up the good work:)
~Alainna

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September 10, 2020 00:39

I am glad you liked the incorporation of humor. Thank you for reading.
KEERTHTHAN

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September 09, 2020 19:03

Nice story and very funny as well. Where a whole town remembers someone for doing nothing. Clueless indeed.
The driver wanting to be the father of Physics. Just some few words to make the story much more interesting. I'm glad you weaved this story in an hour. Thumbs up.

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September 10, 2020 00:26

Thank you for reading!!!!!!(would you mind liking my story?)

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Tejas Chandna
September 09, 2020 18:38

What a story! Humour at its peak! Perfect timing! Great Job!

Can you read my story "Freedom to fire the flies"?

Reply

September 09, 2020 18:41

Thanks!!!!

Sure!!!

Reply

Tejas Chandna
September 09, 2020 18:38

What a story! Humour at its peak! Perfect timing! Great Job!

Can you read my story "Freedom to fire the flies"?

Reply

September 10, 2020 00:44

Thanks!

Reply

Tejas Chandna
September 09, 2020 18:38

What a story! Humour at its peak! Perfect timing! Great Job!

Can you read my story "Freedom to fire the flies"?

Reply

September 10, 2020 00:44

Thanks.

Reply

Tejas Chandna
September 09, 2020 18:38

What a story! Humour at its peak! Perfect timing! Great Job!

Can you read my story "Freedom to fire the flies"?

Reply

September 10, 2020 00:44

Thanks!

Reply

Tejas Chandna
September 09, 2020 18:38

What a story! Humour at its peak! Perfect timing! Great Job!

Can you read my story "Freedom to fire the flies"?

Reply

September 10, 2020 00:44

Thanks!!!
Would you mind liking my story?

Reply

Tejas Chandna
September 09, 2020 18:38

What a story! Humour at its peak! Perfect timing! Great Job!

Can you read my story "Freedom to fire the flies"?

Reply

September 10, 2020 00:45

Thanks!

Reply

Tejas Chandna
September 09, 2020 18:38

What a story! Humour at its peak! Perfect timing! Great Job!

Can you read my story "Freedom to fire the flies"?

Reply

September 10, 2020 00:45

Thanks!

Reply

Mustang Patty
September 09, 2020 13:14

Hi there,

Your story reads so well - it is difficult to think about you as a 'young writer.' Your width and breadth of vocabulary are astonishing.

I've read some of your other stories, so my usual writing advice has already been given, but I do hope you continue to write, take suggestions from others and go on to be a very successful writer,

~MP~

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September 09, 2020 13:17

Hi

Yeah, I am a young writer. I am glad you don't think me as young.

I will keep writing and will take suggestions from every author here.

KEERTHTHAN

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Jane Andrews
September 06, 2020 09:55

Hi Keerththan. You asked me to read your story and comment.
Firstly, I think you’ve done really well creating an absurd tale (and I’m pleased you enjoyed my own absurd story, β€˜Ellie’s in Wonderland’). I think you have the balance right by not explaining everything but leaving some ridiculous aspects as they are for your readers to draw their own conclusions. (For example, the part with the door just has Clue being told to break the door down, then seeing the key and using that instead and the people gasping in awe - that’s so much more effective than employing dialogue to explain the different ideas about opening doors.)
I think Cara has commented on most of the grammar points I would have mentioned. I’ll just add that your phrase β€œthe car's front part became like a jack in the box” doesn’t quite work - I know what you mean: you’re suggesting that the front of the car crunches into little folds, but although a Jack in the box has a little man who is folded down on a spring until the lid of the box is released and he pops out, the connotations of the phrase are more to do with someone leaping out suddenly Than the idea of something being folded. I realise it’s too late for you to edit, but I would rewrite it as β€œthe car's front part folded like a concertina.”
Overall, well done for an imaginative and enjoyable story - if you haven’t read C S Lewis’s story β€˜The Voyage of the Dawntreader’, look it up as there’s a chapter in there that has some similarities with your story when the characters visit an island peopled by β€˜Dufflepods’ who make decisions as crazy as those made by the characters in your own.

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September 06, 2020 10:36

Thank you for coming to read my story.

I am glad you liked my story.

I will not make the same mistake next time. Thank you for commenting. Will take a look at that story. Thank you for reading.

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September 23, 2020 11:49

Great story Keerththan! I'm sorry people are downvoting you; I'll gladly do some upvoting!

Very funny story and great plot!

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September 23, 2020 12:32

Thank you! Why should you be sorry?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Thank you very much. I will do the same for you.

Thank you!

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September 23, 2020 14:51

Thank you as well!

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September 23, 2020 15:05

Enjoy the upvotes!

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September 23, 2020 15:26

Owly comes to top 100!

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September 23, 2020 16:56

Thank you!! I'm almost done upvoting you as well!

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September 23, 2020 16:57

Welcome! I owe you a lotπŸ’–

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September 24, 2020 02:28

I have posted a new story! Mind reading it?

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Thom With An H
September 09, 2020 12:54

You are growing as a writer. Your stories are gaining a flow to them and your dialogue is much improved. You have always had a talent for great ideas and I can see how you are finding new and creative ways to share them. You might want to vary the descriptions a little and use less straight forward words. Rotund rather than fat as an example. Keep in mind these are just suggestions on how to get even better but you are already doing great. Keep up the good work.

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September 09, 2020 13:15

Yeah, I should work a little more on my descriptions and I am learning. Thank you for reading.

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Jasper Hutchings
September 08, 2020 21:19

It's a really funny story! I found the style interesting, as it was mainly dialogue which is different from my own style. But I really enjoyed it.

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September 09, 2020 02:08

I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading.(would you mind liking my story?)

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Jasper Hutchings
September 10, 2020 03:21

Of course, I'll like it.

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September 10, 2020 03:29

Thanks!!!!

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Salony Shakya
September 08, 2020 12:29

The idea behind it is amazing. Though while having conversations, try using different annotations rather than just saying the sentence out loud.

Such as
"What's a Bobel prize?" Clue asked.
"It's the highest honour given to anyone in this city

becomes
"Well, it's the highest honour given to anyone in this city."

And so on... This makes the sentences more engaging and conversation more believable.

Keep on writing!

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September 08, 2020 12:36

I will follow what you said in my next. You have got a point and this helped me to improve. Thank you for reading.

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September 08, 2020 07:22

This was a really amusing story. Good job

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September 08, 2020 07:29

Thank you for reading.

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Zion Hintay
September 07, 2020 20:19

Hahaha, oh my god I love your sense of humour. This was such an easy read for me. I love your use of naming Hint, Clue, Physics, Thing were all hilarious. Ah passage I really enjoyed was:

"I play tennis, cricket and carrom board daily," the driver said.

"How many hours do you play?" Clue asked.

"Until the battery in my mobile phone runs out," the driver replied.

When they crashed into the tree, they were so nonchalant. I loved this.

Ending was very meaningful too.

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September 08, 2020 00:35

I am glad you love my sense of humour.

I am glad you loved my story. Thank you for reading. (Would you mind liking my story?)

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September 08, 2020 04:36

Thank you for reading.

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Zion Hintay
September 09, 2020 12:42

You're welcome.

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September 07, 2020 19:07

Hey, Keerththan!
This story made me laugh out loud. Though the way Clue thought about the city was just a tad bit rude, it was still hilarious. The fact that everyone in the city of "Thing" thought that doing nothing was the greatest achievement was awesome. I, quite honestly, don't have any ideas of how you could make this story any better! Also, I want a part two!
Keep writing and stay healthy,
Brooke D.

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September 08, 2020 00:33

I am glad you laughed out loud and liked the idea of nothing. When the prompt is appropriate, I will make a part 2. Keep writing and Stay healthy, Brooke.
KEERTHTHAN.

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Indra Hatpins
September 07, 2020 17:55

Namaste, KPM!

Imaginative piece you've got here. Allow me to give a suggestion: use less of the character's name when writing prose. The repetition of Clue, Hint works against the enjoyable story. You'll have to experiment with different writing styles to see how you can get around constantly naming the characters.

Hope you find this constructive. Cheers!

P.S. please do check out my piece. It is sci-fi and based on your bio, I think you'll like it.

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September 08, 2020 00:31

Namaste, Indira.

Definitely. I accept your suggestion. I will do that in my next story.

I found it very constructive. :)

Sure, I'd love to!
Thank you for reading.

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Carille Durbin
September 07, 2020 16:35

This story made me smile. It reminds me of the airplane movies or 33 1/3.

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September 07, 2020 16:52

I am glad I made you smile. Thank you for reading.

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Amogh Kasat
September 07, 2020 07:53

It's a wonderful story! Please read my latest story

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September 08, 2020 05:51

Thank you Amogh! Read and commented :)

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Amogh Kasat
September 08, 2020 05:57

ok

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September 08, 2020 05:58

Thanks.

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Amogh Kasat
September 08, 2020 05:59

my pleasure

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September 08, 2020 05:59

Keep writing.

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September 28, 2020 18:23

Hey Amogh
MI lost in the super over.😱😭😭
Ishan Kishan 99
Pollard wonderful innings

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Amogh Kasat
September 29, 2020 15:19

Yes that’s MI’s bad

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September 29, 2020 15:40

Yeah. It was a really wonderful and interesting match.

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Amogh Kasat
October 02, 2020 03:53

Yes

Reply

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