Posters and Paydays

The face on the wanted poster grinned with a maw of jagged teeth.

His broad head seemed locked in an eternal dispute over whether it belonged to an ape, a bear, or a goblin. The answer, unmistakably, was bugbear.

BORIS STRONGJAW. Notorious highway robber.

Crimes: Robbery, extortion, arson, assault, indecent exposure, robbery, extortion, arson, assault, indecent exposure, and repeatedly pitching a tent in the town square.

Reward: Five hundred crowns.

Two hungry males stood over the notice, one a rogue and one a minotaur.

The young man wore a dark doublet, with a dagger and cinquedea hanging from his belt and a wheelock pistol shoved at a jaunty angle into his sash. The minotaur towered over the wiry human. Short dark hair covered much of his body and a matching mane ran between his horns. His belt bristled with axes, and his hooves stamped impatiently against the cobblestones.

The human rogue snatched the poster from the public notice board - In the very same square where Boris had once pitched his tent - and flashed a grin brighter than his curly blond hair.

"Five hundred crowns for this guy, Klur? Imagine that, brother!"

Klur grunted.

"Hmm. Bounty hunting? That's a new one for us, Naris."

"You'd rather do our usual caravan guard work and wait for him to rob it? To the hells with that. Let's turn the tables. Beats hunting down some cursed trinket for a mage with questionable morals who's too lazy to fetch it himself."

Klur snorted. "Or your gambling."

Naris sneered.

"I told you, I only lost because he cheated."

Klur chortled, “That’s what you always say. Mother would scold you endlessly if she knew about your gambling habits.”

“Oh, like she’d approve of your brawling?”

“Brawls usually caused by your gambling!” Klur retorted with a hoof stomp.

There was a haughty laugh and the two turned to see a haughty-looking panther beastman on a horse. The horse shimied and shook unsteadily, seemingly very uncomfortable about having a predatory feline on its back, bipedal or not. The beastman wore a splendid cuphilt rapier at his belt, and a pair of polished pistols were thrust into built in holsters on his saddle. A jaunty widebrimmed hat with a white feather perched on the feline’s head.

“Well, look who it is. The Dullard brothers.”

Klur rounded on the cat, his nostrils flaring. “That is not our family name.”

Naris rolled his eyes, “Klur, he knows. He’s trying to be clever, and failing at it.”

The panther flashed fangs.

“Why don’t you go chase down a debtor or something? Isn’t that what you do, Morvan?” Naris grunted.

The tail of the beastman flicked, “Oh, I’m after bigger game today,” he said, nodding at the wanted poster. Naris involuntarily looked back at it and Morvan noticed, guffawing in his haughty voice.

“What, you two honestly think you have what it takes to be bounty hunters? How... darling.”

Klur glowered at the feline. “Careful, furball!”

Naris stepped forward, “Yeah, we do. We’ll get him before you even get close. I’m willing to bet on it.”

“Naris!” Klur hissed, but the damage was done. Morvan laughed

“Oooh, I’ll take that bet future debtor,” the feline said with a fangy smile. “You forget two things.”

Naris folded his arms. “Yeah?”

“I’m an experienced bounty hunter, not a pair of low-tier mercenaries... and I’m on a horse!”

The hunter emphasised the last point by kicking his heels into the horse’s side and the animal bolted down the street, hooves echoing on the cobblestones.

“What a cad!” Naris growled.

Klur sighed as he eyed his brother. “Now, you’ve gone and done it.”

Naris waved the concern off.

“Relax, we just have to find Boris ourselves before Morvan does.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“Of course it’s easy. If someone as thick-skilled as Morvan can do it, so can we.”

Klur shook his head. “What’s our next move then, brother?”

Naris grinned. "I know a guy."

Klur groaned. "Who is it?"

"Rikkit."

Klur stared wide-eyed.

"The goblin?"

"The goblin."

"The goblin crime boss?"

Naris pointed a finger.

"Crime entrepreneur. He hates when people call him a ‘crime boss.’"

Klur dragged a hand down his muzzle. "He runs half the gambling dens in the city."

Naris puffed out his chest. “He owes me a favor."

"How?"

The human's grin widened.

“I introduced him to his wife. Well one of them.”

Klur muttered something unflattering under his breath.

The brothers left the square and wound their way through increasingly narrow and uneven streets. The tidy stone storefronts of the market district gave way to leaning timber buildings, crooked alleys, and taverns whose signs seemed to have survived several separate fires.

Eventually they stopped before a squat brick warehouse squeezed between a cooper's shop and a boarded-up bakery.

Two goblins lounged beside the door. One was cleaning his nails with a knife. The other was cleaning a larger knife with a smaller knife.

Neither looked particularly welcoming.

Naris waved cheerfully.

"Afternoon, lads. Is Rikkit in?"

The goblins exchanged glances. Then one squinted.

"Naris?"

"The very same."

The goblin groaned. "Oh no."

"What?"

"Boss said if you ever came back, we were supposed to check whether you wanted money, information, or somewhere to hide."

Naris beamed.

"Information."

The goblin visibly relaxed.

"Oh thank the gods." He pushed open the warehouse door. "Get in here before he changes his mind."

“Much obliged.” Naris replied as he ducked inside, Klur grunted in discomfort as he too slipped inside.

An older goblin sat at a table behind stacks of coins, his batlike ears swiveled up as he spied the duo.

“Naris. You finally decided to use that favor. What is it?”

“I’m after Strongjaw.”

Rikkit cringed. “Ask about someone else.”

“That’s helpful.” Klur grumbled.

Naris was undeterred. “What you’re protecting him? I thought you hated bugbears?”

Rikkit nodded his head. “I do. But he spends his loot in my places, why would I cut that?”

Naris smiled. “Because you’re a practical goblin. The heat’s getting too hot on Boris. Morvan’s after him too. He might come to you looking for shelter - that means bountyhunters and guards getting closer to your places, not all of them on your payroll.”

Rikkit drummed his claws on the desk.

“Hmm, that’s possible. You say Morvan is after him? Nothing would please me more than seeing that cat humbled. I’ll tell you where he likes to hole up. No more, no less, and my debt to you is paid off.”

“Works for me,” Naris replied.

He slid a piece of parchment across the table.

"Old watchtower, outside the north gate. He’s got a stash. Probably where he's licking his wounds after robbing that merchant caravan yesterday."

Naris took the parchment. "Appreciate it."

The goblin waved him off as he began counting coins again. "Now get out. My wife will be home soon, and if she sees you, she'll want to talk about wedding anniversaries again. I don't remember which one is hers."

Naris and Klur backed out of the forlorn former bakery, blinking in the afternoon sun. The watchtower stood on a small hill about half a mile outside the city walls: a lonely stone stump overlooking a stretch of marshy fields. Its roof was long gone, and its wooden stairs had rotted away to splintered nubs clinging to the inner wall. The sun had drifted lower into the early dusk, and birds sang their songs.

“Think he saw us coming?” Klur asked.

“I feel like he’d be throwing chunks of mortar or something at us if he had.” Naris replied as he drew his pistol. He then hefted an axe and slowly the two began to scale up the hill wary of any projectiles being thrown their way. As they drew closer they heard a sound - a deep thrumming.

“Is he...?” Naris asked.

“Snoring,” Klur confirmed. “He’s snoring.”

“He snores almost as loud as you.” Naris quipped, and received a cuff behind the ear. “Ow.”

The two crested the hill to the crumbling tower, a large bugbear was indeed sleeping in the tower a bottle tucked under his arm and once fine silks draped over him like a blanket.

“This will be easy,” Klur grunted.

Naris turned to him wide eyed. “You... never say that.”

A crossbow bolt whistled past his face.

“Boss, wake up! We got company!” a reedy voice at the top of the tower called.

Boris was up in a aiming a pistol at Klur which promptly sparked but failed to fire.

“Damnit,” Boris grumbled as he tossed the gun aside which then actually fired, a clump of feathers falling to the ground shortly afterwards. Klur hurled one of his hatchets at the bugbear. Boris ducked, drew a mace, and charged Klur, who pulled an axe free and met the highway robber’s charge.

Naris sighed as his shot he had lined up on Boris was blocked by his overeager brother. Naris studied his surroundings, looking for another target.

That flunky up top with the crossbow, he thought.

Naris flattened against the wall of the tower pistol aimed up, he waited until he saw the head of a human looking down.

“Ha, got you!” the man shouted as he aimed the crossbow down.

“I got you,” Naris countered firing up with his pistol.

A flash of fire and smoke, and the man’s crossbow tumbled down, Naris looked up to see his foe clutching his arm and cursing before falling backwards into whatever hole he was firing out of.

“Naris!” Klur shouted. He was now locked in battle with the brute. Both of their weapons had been knocked aside, and the two combatants were engaged in hand-to-hand combat.

“Right,” Naris muttered as he started trying to reload. After fumbling and working with sweaty, nervous fingers, he cursed and drew his shortsword.

Naris ran to his brother’s aid aiming a cut for Boris’s shoulder and drawing blood. Boris growled in pain as he whirled on the wily human with the cinquedea.

“You pest!” Boris grunted, backhanding the human across the face and sending him flying.

It was the opening Klur needed as the minotaur wrapped an arm around Boris’s throat and bore him to the ground. A brief struggle before Klur slammed the bugbear’s head to the ground.

“They’re worth more alive than dead, right?” the minotaur grunted.

“Yeah,” Naris grumbled, barely able to get onto his knees and nursing a busted lip. “I think that’s how it works.”

“Grah!” Klur said, trying to keep Boris contained. “You all right, brother?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Naris said, holding his head and trying to shoo the stars away.

“What happened to his flunky up top?” Klur rumbled.

“Dropped his weapon, might still be up there.” He looked to see the man running down the hill.

“Want to chase him?” Klur asked.

“Nah, he’s not even on a poster,” Naris sighed.

“You like money?” Boris asked, grunting to Naris with a sly grin while Klur held his massive arms behind his back. “You like money, human?”

“Don’t listen to him, Naris!” Klur said.

“I’m not, tie him up and we can loot his tower as a bonus.”

“It ain’t in the tower, buddy,” Boris said, his fangs forming a weird, huge grin.

“Don’t fall for it,” Klur warned.

The thunder of hooves in the distance. Klur sighed.

“What is it now?”

“I think I know,” Naris said, readying his sharpest smile as Morvan rode upon the scene. The beastman’s face was one of shock.

“What? You two actually got him?” he said incredulously.

“That’s right cat,” Naris said, unleashing his most annoying smile, even though he was missing a tooth. “Two paydays for us. The bet, remember?”

Morvan hissed, his tail lashing the air.

“I suppose a bet is a bet... or maybe you two died in the struggle and I arrive back with Boris, myself.”

The three exchanged glances. Suddenly, Klur turned the bugbear loose - who charged the bountyhunter. Morvan’s horse reared up, unseating the beastman who fell with a heavy THUD onto the grass behind. Boris took a panicked hoof to the face as Morvan tried to regain his senses.

“Go, Klur!” Naris shouted, wobbling to his feet. Boris staggered backwards as Klur tackled him from behind, barely missing the horse. By then, Morvan had gotten back to his feet, but felt a sharp object in his side.

“Sorry kitty cat,” Naris said knife already at Morvan’s abdomen, hoping the beastman didn’t notice just how wobbly he was. “Don’t even think about going for that sword.”

Morvan hissed, his pawhands rising into the air. “I’ll tell them you stole my bounty. You think they’ll believe you over me?”

“Doesn’t matter so long as we get there first,” Naris grinned as he hit Morvan with the pommel of his dagger, sending the beastman to the ground.

Klur and Boris were back at it, but this time Klur had taken a few more punches than he normally had. Just as Naris knocked out Morvan, he saw Klur take a full-on punch to the snout, sending Klur back several strides.

“Enough of this,” Naris growled grabbing one of Morvan’s fallen pistols and pointing it at Boris. “Hey!”

Boris grunted and turned towards Naris, “You think that can stop me little man?”

“Cavalry style, meant for horses. I’ll take my chances.”

Boris charged and Naris pulled the trigger. The gun clicked and Naris sighed as Boris bore down on him.

Naris sidestepped sword and dagger in hand as he cut a shallow cut with the wide bladed sword across Boris’s biceps. The bugbear hissed and growled, aiming another punch for Naris, who brought his blade up.

“Not this time little man.” Boris growled slapping the flat of the sword with his beefy arm and sending it flying.

“Ahhh, cripes.” Naris muttered raising his dagger as Boris grabbed him and threw him towards Morvan’s prone body, the dagger falling from his grasp.

Klur roared as he went back on the attack. Boris adjusted, focusing on hte minotaur and exchanging blows again as Naris grabbed Morvan’s rapier.

“Here goes nothing,” Naris sighed as he thrust the borrowed sword into the back of Boris’s shoulder.

“Grahhh!” Boris yelped as Klur - bloodier and sweatier than Naris had seen in years - wrapped his arms around the bugbear and headbutted him.

“YAH!” The minotaur roared as his head collided with the bugbear’s with a crash like two trees colliding.

Boris swayed, grimaced, hissed and bared his teeth as Klur headbutted him again. Another roar, another hideous crash, but this time Boris’ grimace faded. Naris withdrew the rapier, causing a little gush of blood to form.

“Not bad,” the bugbear muttered as he fell backwards with a heavy thud onto the grass.

The two panted as they stared at one another.

“Mother always said you were hard-headed.” Naris muttered. Klur, panting, could barely form a smirk.

“Shut up, let’s get paid for this already before Morvan wakes up.”

The two brothers - panting like they had just run fifty miles and drenched in sweat and blood - had the spirit to get up, but not the will.

“Klur, should we just be accountants or something?”

Klur actually laughed at that.

“You’d get arrested for embezzling and I’d have to fight fifty guards to get you out.”

Naris chuckled.

“Yeah, probably.”