All you had wanted to do for Halloween was just stay home the entire night and watch a movie or fall asleep. You never even liked the holiday, you hated dressing up for it as well.
Some friends of yours would always tell you, "Come on Vayd it'll be fun!" Though it never seemed like it would be fun.
You were just planning on watching a comedy and eating some peanut butter at three in the morning, though a while before ten at night your mother came into your room. "You are going to babysit your cousin."
She didn't even explain further or which cousin you were supposed to babysit, she just got into her car and left you alone. "bye-bye kiddo!" she called out.
You had decided to watch "Aladdin" until the cousin would arrive at the house. It couldn't possibly be one of your older cousins though, why would you need to watch them? They'd be the one babysitting YOU.
There were then a few loud knocks at the door and you also managed to hear the door-bell bell go off a couple of times. It seemed like the cousin was there. "Just as I was getting to the best part," you mumbled.
Little cousins or siblings didn't always want to go trick-or-treating, you thought that maybe the kid would just want to watch a movie or sleep. That would make your job much easier, don't you think so?
There was still the mystery of which cousin you were going to babysit though, there were a lot of little cousins that you've met. Or maybe it was going to be a cousin you never met at a family reunion.
Maybe if the kid liked movies rather than doing anything with Halloween, you could both watch Aladdin together. "maybe I could tell them some of my jokes.." Oh, well I guess that's fine as well, maybe the kid will like them.
"Hey, let me in its cold out here!" A young male voice seemed to say on the other side of the door. Well, it seems like it was a boy. Though that didn't even help at the moment, you had a lot of cousins and really anyone in the family that were dudes. Barely any girls.
Finally, you decided to open up the door and let the child in, you didn't want them to freeze out there. The young cousin seemed to be around the age of nine, he seemed excited about something.
The young boy was wearing a Halloween costume that was...pasta? That was quite a strange choice for a Halloween costume (But he was a kid after all) so you didn't want to question it that much. The pasta was probably this kid's favorite food.
"Hi there...who are you?"
In your entire life, this kid had never to a family reunion or anything of the sorts. Someone would have at least mentioned something about him, right? Well, apparently not.
"My name is Rayhan."
The kid- Rayhan apparently, didn't seem to be focused on you, it seemed like he was staring off at something else. Though there was nothing in the area that he was staring at. Creepy.
"Why are kids always like this..?" This was always pretty weird and creepy, you had babysat a few other kids over the years who acted the same way. It didn't even help that it was Halloween while Rayhan was acting like this.
"Alright, Rayhan, why don't we go and watch a movie, and then we can-" the kid didn't seem to like that suggestion. He grabbed your hand as tightly as he could make it and stared at you, it looked like a death glare.
"We.Want.To.Go.Trick.Or.Treating." this small child seemed like he was going to snap or something, it also sounded like he was trying to sound as angry and mean as he could, all for going trick-or-treating? Though that wasn't what worried you the most about you're weird cousin.
"We? who else is here?" You asked a bit confused, though it probably wasn't much to worry about. Your other cousins that you've babysat (but thankfully weren't as strange) had mentioned a few times of an 'imaginary friend'.
So, you thought if it was possible that your little cousin had an imaginary friend. It wasn't a bad thing, you just kind of thought it was pretty weird how little kids will make this stuff up. You never had one before, you were happy about that.
"Come on, why don't you just listen to one of my jokes? I know a lot dad-" Rayhan was somehow able to forcefully drag you out of the house and outside. Damn, that was a strong nine-year-old.
"The heck is going on..??"
As the two of you got outside of the house, a loud slam was heard from behind. You had turned around just in time to see the door getting slammed close and then a figure near it.
It almost looked like a shadow and it seemed to be around the size and age of Rayhan. "So...um...what do you want to get while trick-or-treating." Maybe if you changed the subject and didn't mention it, nothing would happen.
"Pasta puttanesca."
"That's not even a...you know what? fine"
This kid was still pretty weird and there was also that strange shadow figure that you saw a few minutes ago, could he command that thing? You weren't entirely sure about anything tonight, though you didn't want to find out.
The two of you had soon reached the first house which wasn't that far away, there was a large bowl of candy on the front porch. "Alright, just take a piece, I know it isn't what you wanted but just take it."
Rayhan only seemed to stare at you and not even move, his eyes weren't even blinking either. Once again, you were able to see the strange shadow again, it was next to the candy bowl and it was staring at you as well.
A child's laugh escaped from its lips- or what was assumed to be its lips and mouth as it then throws the candy bowl on the side-walk. The bowl seemed to smash in over a million tiny pieces as each candy lay on the side-walk and some even on the road.
You take hold of Rayhan's hand and began to speed-walk towards the next house, this wasn't something you were going to deal with. (how WERE you even going to deal with it?) "what was that thing??"
"My friend!"
There was still some children laughter from the other house, though luckily it was coming from actual children who were taking the candy.
You had hoped that the strange thing that had happened wouldn't happen again and it was only a one-time thing. Or maybe you were just imagining this stuff? Though you were wrong about it stopping...
At the next house, the exact same thing happened and Rayhan acted the same way. At the other houses though, the shadow thing would just steal some of the candy and seem to eat it...somehow.
You knew some other stuff had happened as well but..it was too strange to describe and everyone reading this would start to question some stuff in their life.
Eventually, the two of you got back to the house and you could see a car pulling up. It must have been his parents, who else would even come for this weird kid and his shadow friend?
He hadn't even gotten any candy during the whole night, the shadow thing that you decided to call "Ray" (because Rayhan never told you it's actual name) kept throwing the candy away or eating it.
"Bye, this was a fun time!" Rayhan gave you a hug and then he ran into the car. You could have sworn that Ray followed him in there, that was probably the truth as well.
"bye...I'm never gonna do this again.."
I'm very sorry if this was just way worse than my regular ones, this is actually my first time writing a story in 2nd person. If you couldn't tell already, this was a story for Vayd Danish and Rayhan Hidayat :)
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what kind of stuff do you want me to tell you for my character? My looks? Personality? Btw its so so so sweet that ur doing this
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No prob ^^ well the characters personalities and looks for now :)
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okay
looks- thick, mostly straight but kinda wavy black hair, chestnut brown skin, greenish-brownish eyes, long eyelashes
personality- kind, has a very calm demeanor. Always looks calm, but her eyes usually give away what she's actually feeling (angry, hurt, excited, etc.). She's actually very sensitive, get's hurt easily. But if you hurt someone she loves or say something messed up she WILL argue and won't stay quiet. She likes complimenting people. She daydreams a lot, head-in-the-clouds type of girl. Again, looking very calm during all of this. Poetic and loves telling stories and reading.
sorry that was kind of a mess
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thats alright and this is really good ^^
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thanks!
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no prob ^^
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if you need anything else about the character, you can just ask
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do ya maybe want the character to live or possibly die?
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live, but she can die if it's really important to the plot
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how would you want her to die?
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A kid trick-or-treating for his poltergeist friend! This was creepy and sweet at the same time, which isn’t easy to pull off.
It would have been nice to get an explanation of who the kid actually was, though. If he was her cousin, why hadn’t she seen him before?
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*The MC haha. Self-inserting like a pro
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The reason the MC had never seen his little cousin, was just a simple thing. The kids parents had never mentioned anything about the little cousin or anything like that and they were barely at stuff, the main character knew who the parents were though. Sorry if this might be a bit confusing though- and both the MC and the little cousin are dudes. did ya maybe have a favorite part?
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The ending, definitely. Unresolved, and the creepy kid happily hugging the MC. Also the fact he was dressed like pasta
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ya have any other thoughts of the ghost friend?
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what do you need help with?
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aye, mate, second person turned out really good for you, I must say. Well done!
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Ya think so? i didnt think that second person was really that good in this story, but I'm glad ya thought so ^^
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no, I think you did really well, given it's your first time writing in second person.
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did ya maybe have a favorite part with it? ^^
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emm, not really.
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what did ya think about the weird shadow thing?
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I really enjoyed this one. I loved how you wrote in 2nd person.
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thanks ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part?
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I loved the 2nd person narration. I tried my hand at it in my new story "Lost in a World of Snow".
I loved the beginning. It keeps you hooked.
I do think that the ending could be more impactful, something that leaves a mark on the reader. I also felt that the MC could have expressed his emotions better.
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I'm terrible at doing second person and this is why it sucks :/
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I actually loved that it was in second person. You did a great job. Your story inspired me to try it too. :D
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i did??
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New thread!
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Hey, wanna chat? I need a distraction
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yeah sure ^^ what do ya wanna talk about?
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um...can I vent? After you respond I will edit it to delete everything I said. K?
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No problem, im always on here and stuff, sure you can vent ^^
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*my venting that is now edited to this*
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uh- that's really strange. I dunno what to really say and I wanna say something about S but then that might cause some other stuff, probably :/ Maybe I could help you in some way or something? only if ya want though
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thx..okay here goes
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No prob ^^
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B?
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also thanks for replying so fast
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Great job- It was really good and I loved the second person. My fav. part was probably the part where the kid comes in and pretty much takes control of the entire household. Spot on. I'll start to upvote more- to be honest, I didn't even know about it until recently. Great story!
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thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ what did ya think about the shadow thing?
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Creepy, but definitely awesome😊
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you think that this should be a stand-alone story?
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That's up to you, personally I think it's perfect :)
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ya do?
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Great story! I loved the dialogue, I thought it flowed very well.
How do you write your series like "Crossover: The traitor (part 5)" and "A strange place (part 1)" haven't started any of them yet but I was curious.
Also, I wrote a sort of duelogogy. It starts with "A Rose By Any Other Name" and ends with "Dum Spiro, Spero", and I would love to know what you think.
P.S. They're romances.
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what do you mean by "havent started any of them yet" ? "Crossover: the traitor (part 5)" meant that it was part 5 to the regular series but there was ALSO part 1 in the name I'm pretty sure which meant that it was part 1 to the crossover as well. Though I have no idea what you mean for "a strange place (part 1)" :/
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Oh I am sorry, I meant that I have both regular series in my TBR pile, I haven't found the time to binge read them in one sitting yet, but I will soon.
My question was really how do you write the series? Like do you have an outline for the story you want to tell or do you let the prompts of the week decide? I was curious about your approach to writing the series.
I hope I was more clear.
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I just kinda get ideas for the part of it and then if a prompt is good enough I just kinda fit it into the thing and it works good. Like with another series the prompt said something about having the characters staying at a grave-yard, it sounded interesting so I just added them going to a grave-yard and continuing the story regularly or something.
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Oh I see, you do that so well. I can’t wait to read them, most likely over the holidays; but I’ll get to it.
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thanks
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Hiiii
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how are ya?
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Great! Are you going to change your name since it's not Halloween anymore??
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Just changed it back ^^ and i could use some help
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Happy Halloween!
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Unique, I gotta say.
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thanks ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part or something?
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When you first reveal the shadow or whatever that thing was.
I was a bit creeped out.
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good, i was hoping for that ^^
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Woah! What! 3rd place! Wow, you climbed so fast! Lol, now you’re right behind me 😂 I wonder how long until I’m bumped down the leaderboard...lol. CONGRATS
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thank you ^^ It's probably gonna be a few months, I don't think ill get into 2nd place that easy, you'll be there for a long time :)
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I'm ready to help you now :)
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ya are??
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yep....will 10 mins be enough?
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is that how long ya have?
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yeah...that's good right?
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I guess so. so ya know my demi-god novel and the characters, right?
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Again, great story! Your use of second person is actually pretty good! The shadow Ray is pretty intriguing!:)
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thank you ^^
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Hey B! I really liked this story! I really liked the addition of Ray and Vayd in it. It was really creative! My favorite part was the pasta one. Great job!
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thanks ^^ what did ya think of the shadow thing?
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Nice, Blair! This is great, but maybe you should practice more in the second-person pov, so that you'll get better! Great job!
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I dunno if i will or not, I might just stick with first and third. did you ever maybe have a favorite part or something?
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Yeah, I liked the beginning.
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thanks ^^ also, thank you again for doing that story for me and the others :)
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You're welcome! I really liked doing it, so... idk. :)
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:)
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Pasta puttanesca? A Series of Unfortunate Events reference???
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Uh- i guess it kinda is? Vayd just asked if I could kinda put it in the story because Rayhan likes it and so I did.
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Ohh okay. Well, the story was neat! I love writing in second person too.
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did ya maybe have a favorite part?
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Yeah, I liked the beginning paragraph.
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ya did?
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Great story! It was your first time writing in 2nd person? Well, great job! I couldn't tell, it was really good. I liked the beginning a lot.
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thanks ^^
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Hi Hope!
I loved this story.....At first I was like what is wrong with this kid? And then I realized there might be something or someone else and I was like ohh yeah ok. It was funny and scary! Great!
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Hiya ^^ did ya have a favorite part or something?
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Ive got to say, the pasta bit was funny. Like when the boy dressed up in a pasta and stuff?
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Anything else?
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Mmm nothing much. I loved the rest equally
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Thanks ^^
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Nice
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thanks
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Welcome
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ya have a favorite part or anything like that?
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Ending
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any advice or anything like that?
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Hi B, how are you?
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I guess im good, how about you?
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I’m pretty happy right now, just found out my geography exam is cancelled this year and geo is my least favourite subject at school. What are your favourite and least favourite subjects?
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Hm- i dunno, i at least know that my least favorite subject is math because a lot of reasons and my favorite subject or one of them would probably be language arts.
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I really like language arts too, but the thing about Language art is that it really depends on what book you're reading in class. I used to like math when it was just numbers, but now it's letters and lines and I just can't figure out how it relates to real life.
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I'm terrible at math as well :/
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Awesome story, B!
Srry to keep you waiting... I've been taking a temporary break from Reedsy to catch up on school n stuff.
Btw I upvoted you a whole bunch during the past few days, yuh mind returning the favor? :)
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thanks im glad ya liked it ^^ sure ill try and upvote you soon as well, though could you maybe help me with something?
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I'd be happy to help!
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thanks ^^
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New
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what?
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New thread (assuming you still want to chat)
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yeah, i do
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Cool, so um do you need any help with your novel(s) ?
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kinda
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This was a truly enjoyable story, B.. The character of Rayhan was very mysterious, and so was 'Ray'. Vayd in this story was a realistic character, and I mean that. For your first second-person story, I think you did a good job. -Brooke D.
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Thanks, im glad you liked this one as well ^^ did you have a favorite part or character?
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No problem. My favorite part was when 'Ray' was stealing/eating the candy. And my favorite character was probably Vayd because he was a very realistic character.
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do you think that this should just be a stand-alone story?
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Yes, for two reasons.
1.) You already have multiple series going on--having another would probably too much.
2.) Having it being a stand-alone story makes it more mysterious and intense, because your questions don't get answered.
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oh, yeah i guess your right about that
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i kinda am
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