Some Things I w

Some Things I Won't Forget To Remember. .................

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a lady named Sue who had worked at a company called Support Services Of Virginia or S. S. Va.. Her job was to be the janitor so she had to, "janit" the whole building. A painter will pain, a hunter will hunt, a plumber will plumb, a doctor will doct, a common denominator denominates so a janitor, "janits." The problem was Sue had more talents then most people, but didn't have a chance to use any of them.

Her boss loved her work since she'd been there for 2 years and had been making steady improvement in her cleaning ability which pleased her boss quite a bit. The problem was she had so many talents that were just bottled up inside of her that were not being used which were just aching to get out and be shared with society. What was so sickening was the fact that she had more talents then most people but was unable to use any of them. She also made pudding for all the parties they had there so it was her job to stir it and be sure that it was thickening, but with all the talents she had at that time, it seamed that the only thing, "thickening" then was the fact that she had no way to use them. She thought it was, "thilly" to have, "tho" many really, "spethial" talents and not to, "uthe" any of them. When her boss asked her to do an extra task, she said, "I'm thory, thir, jutht thay that again, pleathe thinth I'm not thtupid or thilly. Ecthcuthe my thilly lithp."

After Sue's 2 front teeth came in, she was able to talk plainly. Years later after she grew up, got married and had her own children, she told them, "I remember when I was your age just how much I wished my 2 front teeth would come in. It happened in December so my theme song was, 'All I Want For Christmas Is My 2 Front Teeth.' " That made them both laugh. After she left, it didn't tickle her funny-bone any more, (even though it was technically her ulnar nerve.) It didn't even tickle her, "humorous" bone, which was actually hard to believe.

"I'm glad you have 7 good senses," said her mamma, "You need to use the rest which are your common, 'sense' and your, 'sense' of humor."

Yet as Sue grew up, she became interested in studying the various Indian cultures. In particular she loved those who made locks for chairs like the, " 'Chair"-akees, those who invented Band Aids called, "A-'patch'-ies, the, "Crow"-atans be-"caws" they were bird-brains, those who were great gardeners called, "Nava-'hoe,' " those who were a, " 'Chip'-a-wa off the old block, the Blackfeet, although they didn't know what color their toes and heals were and the Sioux-sewed the Pale-Face men for taking credit for their totally awesome invention known as, the "pail," which came from what happened when the riders carried something on their backs they didn't like because then they would, "buck-it" off. They'd yell til they were completely, "horse."

Sue had what's commonly retired to as a, "paper-memory." That means if she didn't write it down, then it may as well not have even happened in the first place. That's because she got tired of constantly saying, "I'm sorry, I forgot," all the time. Some of her favorite inventors were Wilbur and Orval, The Right brothers who invented the airplane. Still other folks referred to them as, "The Wrong Brothers" and that taking off from Kitty Hawk would be the "per-r-r-r-r-r-rfect" method to have a, " 'cat'-tastrophy" of, "cat"-estrophic proportions when they'd, "kitten" their air-"plane," since it would be a bad name for their invention because it was actually anything but a, "plain" by any means.

I'm sorry I do not remember what day all those things are supposed to take place, so you'll have to look them up, but don't let it get you, "down" because the only thing, "down" should be from a duck, so hopefully he will, "duck" to keep from getting shot at in season, unless it's made of wood. Then if it gets shot you could say, "That's a wooden duck who just, "wouldn' duck" in time to, "flock" here to see each of us.

I got that information from Sue so if it's not true, you can, "sue-Sue" for telling me a lie, even though she will not, "lie" down except at night time. Then it will happen on a, "down" mattress. I'm sorry I didn't hear about that in time to, "sparrow" you from being, "bird" with all of, "my-great" fine-feathered flying-creature puns. Yet if you laughed or at least smiled, that's what the purpose of this document does. It's written, "egg"-sclusively by me to make you, "egg"-zacly on this old Earth be as happy as possible. If it has been written to make your, "egg"-zistence here be funny which would mean, "the, 'yoke's' on you." That's not being, "shell"-fish, although the, "yoke" will be, "white" on me so don't just, "lay" around, "feather" you're helping anybody or not now, or you must call an, "a-'nest'-atist" to put you out for surgery.

I'm sorry about all these bad bird-egg jokes, "feather" that helps any-thing or not. That's a sample of, "my-great" 6th sense, that's my sense of humor which is worth many dollars, but hopefully it's worth some, "sense." At least, "I remember" just how much I'm sorry about writing such a, "punny" document. Hopefully it's changed your mouth from an n shape into a u shape. In other words, may both of the corners be facing up north instead of down south. That means towards Heaven instead of down below because I hate being hot. (You can always put on more clothes, but you can only take off so much without getting arrested.) Anyway, I'm glad if I have succeeded in those endeavors.

The end.

By, Cuz Roye.