Saving a friend

Fiction Friendship

Written in response to: "Write about a contest with life or death stakes." as part of Ready, Set, Go!.

The dimly lit room has enough light for the group to see their friend, Hopper laying on the metal table. A small and thin blanket was covering most of his body, not like that would do anything for him though.


There was a small creaking noise from behind them and then a voice spoke, "Piper hows he looking? is he maybe getting any better?"


"Worse..."


Jinx carefully shut the door and then walked over to where her friend lay. "My gosh, he almost looks like a vampire" she spoke in a half-whisper once she spotted him.


At first glance, at least a bit far away, he would have looked normal and he had. Though once she had gotten over to the bed, she saw that his skin was as pale and white as the moon.


Jinx's older brother, Binx then spoke "Yes we know that...don't say that in front of him though."


Binx began to look over her friend again, besides his skin she couldn't really see anything else wrong with him. She could see him sweating, though she wasn't sure if that was from whatever was going or if it was from the heat in the room.


Piper then spoke up, "Why don't we try to take him to a hospital? wouldn't they know what was wrong with him?"


"Wait, yeah! why haven't we done that? I'm sure that they'd be able to help with whatever is going on." Piper's ideas were usually terrible, though Jinx couldn't help but agree with this.


Binx only stared at his friend in silence as the seconds went by, how long did he even have? Hopper had never explained any of this to them, he probably never would. "He...isn't like us."


"Well, what do we do then? we can't just let him die." Jinx and Piper seemed to ask the question in unison.


They watched as Binx began to pace back and forth in the room, the only noises now were the faint beeping of the monitor and the small squeaks of Binx's shoes.


"Do you possibly remember that contest that's been talked about for a while? I checked some of the stuff for it after I got curious...the prize can save him."


"What do you mean?" Jinx asked.


"Listen, I can't fully remember but a few months Hopper and me had been talking about a few things...I guess about him and his people. We came across a few things and I suppose he wanted me to see all of it, there was a thing that looked like the prize that was shown to be able to do great things," he explained as he paced faster.


Everyone remained silent after that, the only noise being the beeping from the monitor again. Piper cleared her throat after the awkward pause and she asked, "So, you think the prize could be the same thing you and Hopper saw?"


Binx shook his head, "I don't think so, I know so."


Everyone looked back at Hopper who's skin somehow seemed to be even more white than the last time they checked, it was worse. Who knew how long Hopper would have? "Fine, let's do it."


"Though which one of us should join the contest?" Jinx asked, "we can't all join, some of us or one of us will still need to stay here with Hopper."


"I could go and do it, I think I'd be the best for it anyway." Binx was already on his way out of the room.


Jinx or Piper decided not to argue with him, if they did then they'd end up wasting a lot of time. They'd be wasting Hoppers time here, they needed to get the prize.


On his way out of the room, Binx had given the two of them a walkie-talkie so that during the contest he'd be able to talk to them. He was sure that they were going to be asking a lot of things and at least would want to know if he would win.


"Do you think he'll win?" Jinx sat down on a chair next to the metal table so she could be next to Hopper.


"I'm honestly not that sure.."


Piper decided to also sit next to Hopper and Jinx, if they didn't manage to win and get the prize, the least they could do is stay with Hopper until he passed. He probably would have done the same...


A few moments passed until they could hear some static from the walkie-talkie and then Binx's voice, "Alright so I think the contest is about to start now."


"Who's there at the contest? Is it a bad one or something, maybe it's just some younger children and you'll easily win it?" Jinx suggested with a small laugh.


"Um well no, There's an older dude along with a girl that's a bit younger than me and then there's a..." Binx seems to trail off by talking about how he thinks each contestant will do and how they'll act.


"Binx!" Jinx shouted into the walkie-talkie to get his attention, "How many people exactly are there?"


"There are about four other people here besides me, or maybe there are six other people.." It sounded like he was about to trail off again about something, though the two of them somehow managed to hear a blow horn go off.


That must have been the signal for the contest, whatever it was about, to start. The contest had been up on posters and on tv as well for a few weeks, though they had never fully learned what it was about. Maybe Binx would tell them later.


"What are we even gonna do if he wins the contest though? I don't think we know how the thing is supposed to save Hopper from certain death.."


Piper sighed as she looked out one of the windows and then she spoke, "I don't know Jinx, maybe he knows how it works and he just didn't have time to tell us."


"Like how Hopper didn't have time to tell us what was wrong before this happened..?"


Piper didn't say anything after that, neither did Jinx. They remained silent for what seemed like several hours, though it must have only been about thirty whole minutes.


Piper had been trying to find the right words to speak until she heard something coming from the walkie-talkie. She had forgotten why they had it until they then heard Binx speak, "Guys! I got it."

Posted Nov 03, 2020
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72 likes 388 comments

Excellent story!

Reply

B. W.
November 06, 2020 00:15

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ did ya have a favorite part about it or something?

Reply

Orenda .
November 03, 2020 07:41

okay, I'm mindblown. How in the world of bitter chocolates are you able to write that fast and come up with ideas so quick. I'm jealous. Anyway, the story is very well written. I got one suggestion, though:
"Listen, I can't fully remember but a few months ago me and Hopper had been talking about a few things..."

it should be, Hopper and me and not the other way around. It sounds boastful when you put "me" first. I had commented the same thing on somebody else's stort with the same mistake. I had written "me, the donkey, comes at the last." Whatever, i speak unnecessarily.
Well done!

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 07:56

Thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ i honestly have no idea though, i just get a lot of ideas and then I manage to write the stories quickly while still being good. did ya maybe have a favorite part of it or something? I will also go and quickly fix that part ^^

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Orenda .
November 03, 2020 07:59

it was the least i could do. Woah, that's a big talent you have. Keel it up, Lee! I didn't have any favourite part as such. Yess, sure do!

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 08:20

if ya had to guess, what do ya think Hopper was sick with?

Reply

Orenda .
November 03, 2020 08:26

er, i dont know, my friend.

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 08:42

Thats alright, the thing hes sick with is something fake I made up anyway ^^ do ya think this should maybe be a stand-alone?

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Laiba M
November 03, 2020 14:04

Jinx and Binx...Jinx and Binx... I love the naming systems, loll~
Your grammar has really improved! And it seems way less like you're describing a story and more like you're writing it! Good job, I really am proud :) Wonderful story!

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 17:36

Wait what? what did i do in it to make it seem like I'm actually writing it instead of just describing the story to a friend? It just seems like the other ones to me :/

Reply

Laiba M
November 03, 2020 17:52

Well, you used one question/exclamation mark if necessary, and didn't capitalize words, and instead italicized them :) I like the format, good job!

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 17:54

when did i do the italics for a thing?

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Laiba M
November 03, 2020 18:02

"I don't think so, I know so." Know was italicized :)

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 18:03

so your happy about it?

Reply

Wolfy 🐺
November 03, 2020 14:03

Is this one of your first third-person stories? If so then... wow. This is better than my 3rd person stories, the ones I've been doing since 2nd grade lol. The one thing I noticed was that the story moved really quickly, it all happened in a flash. Idk, it might just be me. Keep up the great content though! I'm working to move you into 3rd place- I'll try to upvote as many comments as I can!

Reply

Wolfy 🐺
November 03, 2020 14:31

Ok, you're #3 now!!! Great job!!!

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 17:34

i am??

Reply

Wolfy 🐺
November 03, 2020 18:27

Oop- you were earlier

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 18:38

dang it

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Wolfy 🐺
November 03, 2020 19:39

Well you and Abigail kinda keep switching places, y'know? So like one minute you'll be 3rd and the next minute she'll be third.

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 17:34

No...? Most of my stories are third-person, haven't you checked out my other ones as well? There's like a few that are in first person and then one that's in second person that's terrible. though I'm glad you sorta liked it guess

Reply

Wolfy 🐺
November 03, 2020 18:26

Oof sorry- shows you how new I am 😬
Doesn't change how good it is though!

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 18:38

did ya maybe have a favorite part or something?

Reply

Wolfy 🐺
November 03, 2020 19:40

Not in particular

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 19:52

oh, could you actually help me with something?

Reply

Raquel Rodriguez
November 04, 2020 01:28

No, you're right, B and Abigail do keep switching to 3rd and 4th place ;)

Reply

Kaitlyn James
November 04, 2020 21:08

B!!!!!!

Reply

B. W.
November 04, 2020 21:11

huh?

Reply

Kaitlyn James
November 04, 2020 21:19

I think I have an idea who your downvoter is!!!!!!

Reply

B. W.
November 04, 2020 21:20

who?

Reply

Kaitlyn James
November 04, 2020 21:22

Either Abigail Airuedomwinya or Batool Hussain. They are both next to you on the leaderboard and you guys keep fighting for spots. Them or maybe one of their friends that really wants them to keep a high spot. I could be wrong though. I just got the idea that it was either of them.

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Zilla Babbitt
November 09, 2020 21:31

Batool got downvoted a lot at the beginning. It's not her. And Abigail wouldn't do that.

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Raquel Rodriguez
November 05, 2020 18:00

I don't think so, because I've been upvoting all three of you guys, so it may just be... like... each of them getting points. So yeah, it's not them. They would never, and they've been on leaderboard for so long, even Batool. In the beginning it was Zilla, Batool, and Abagail in the top 3, so they don't have to do that.

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 21:33

I don't think that it would be those two, I don't even get why they'd do it :/ I think its just someone whos very very low on the leader board or someone whos on the leader-board but doesn't have any stories and never says anything that much

Reply

November 03, 2020 16:00

"Binx began to look over her friend again, besides his skin she couldn't really see anything else wrong with him." This sentence is very confusing, because you combine two subjects into one sentence. Change it to this: "Binx began to look over Hopper again. Besides his skin, Jinx couldn't see anything wrong with him."

Beyond that, here are the few mistakes I saw:

Because the main character isn't the one undertaking the contest, there is no tension, and the story is technically deus ex machina, since the MC does nothing to resolve the story. You can fix this by either creating another conflict, which the MC solves, or having the MC undertake the contest.
For example, Hopper starts thrashing on his bed as Binx starts the contest, Jinx must perform CPR to try and restart Hopper's heart. She tries for several minutes, gives up, but then gets up and tries again, this time successful. :)

Second, not describing the contest is a mistake. If you describe the contest and create a picture for your audience, then there will be some tension about whether or not Binx wins the prize. Otherwise, we don't care about the outcome. We don't want Hopper to die, of course, but we aren't emotionally attached to the contest. ;)

The third mistake is Hopper himself. To make the audience care for the characters in stories like this, you have to emotionally tie them to either the character in danger by making us want him to live, or the characters close to the danger zone by making us want them to avoid the trauma associated with the death of the friend. The strongest way is to tie directly to the character in danger. If you give Hopper some lines, some ways he expresses his personality, we will care whether he lives or dies. ;)

But other than those few things, great work! Your writing is clearly improving. As as Laiba says, you're actually writing the story more than describing it from an outside standpoint. :)

Keep on writing!

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 17:32

I kinda did this story at like 1am last night, so im honestly not sure if it turned out like this because of that or just in general :/ wait, who do you even think is the MC? Jinx? It's not her or Piper, its someone else, even if it seems like it might be one of those two. I don't know HOW to describe the contest or the other stuff, if I do a little bit, people might say "that's not enough, whats more to it?" or something, then if I describe it a lot people might say "That's too much for it" or whatever, then some other stuff besides them because I still don't know how to describe it. I hadn't thought of exactly everything with this story because I was having some trouble, but maybe Hopper was in some sort of Coma for a bit as this takes place so that's why he doesn't really speak or anything.

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November 03, 2020 17:49

So, for describing the contest, give us enough details that we can get a clear picture of what's going on. Our imaginations can fill in the blanks, but we have to have lines to color in the first place. :)

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 17:53

do ya think this should be a stand-alone or something?

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November 03, 2020 18:55

Whatever U think. :)

Reply

B. W.
November 03, 2020 18:59

also, i know there wasnt a lot of things for it, but what do you think Hopper is and what he could possibly be sick with? He isn't a human

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Raquel Rodriguez
November 04, 2020 01:28

Have you used Grammarly for this one?
There are punctuation mistakes, and capitalization errors, but other than that, it's fine.
My favorite part was the names, Jinx and Binx :)

Reply

B. W.
November 04, 2020 01:37

Thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ yes i did use Grammarly for this one and some other ones before it, could you maybe help me with something for this?

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Raquel Rodriguez
November 04, 2020 01:40

You want to turn it into a novel, am I right? I think you should focus on your other ones first, and after you finish them, start with this one

Reply

B. W.
November 04, 2020 01:46

Yes i do ^^ im not really focusing on a single one at the moment, I'm kind of picking which one I should focus on and I think it should be this one

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Raquel Rodriguez
November 04, 2020 01:54

Well, you have four other novels you want to do, and I think you should finish those because you've already started them. I don't mean to sound rude, so if I do, I apologize, I'm just saying that maybe you should finish the novels you spent so much effort on. Also, you said you could send me a link to the novella you finished, so what about that? I'm excited to see what you worked on :)

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 01:57

The link isnt gonna work, ive sent it to some other friends but it doesn't seem to work for them :/ actually, this novel will make it be 4 novels, I'm working on 3 now and it'll be 4 when I try to work on this one.

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November 03, 2020 15:23

Great job!!

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November 03, 2020 15:27

Ugh, IDK WHY I commented "Great job!!"... I'm gonna be more descriptive:
This was great!! It was so descriptive, and I could pretty much SEE the scene. The characters are well-developed, and the plot is great!! I feel so bad for Hopper!! Make another part!

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 17:32

thanks ^^ did ya have a favorite part?

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December 11, 2020 13:58

I know I'm supposed to comment on the current story, but could you put me in one of your new stories? Thanks so much, even if you only mention me once! You did a good job on this! Keep up the good work!

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B. W.
December 11, 2020 18:16

I hope im not being rude, but why? Why do you want to be in one of my new stories or at least mentioned?

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December 11, 2020 20:08

Don't worry, that's not rude! I was just wondering if you wanted to use any real Reeders as inspiration for your characters, and I recommended myself.

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B. W.
December 11, 2020 20:39

I am doing a "adventure with friends" thing that has some of my friends from here on it, but I'm not sure when ill make the next part.

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December 11, 2020 21:36

That's okay! :)

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B. W.
December 11, 2020 21:39

I'm actually working on a new story and it should be out in a couple of minutes or something ^^

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November 27, 2020 15:08

Wow! Great work with the story!

Will there be a sequel to this? I'd love to read it if there is one! :)

P.S. I read your bio and noticed that your are a fan of Percy Jackson! (virtual high-five!) :P

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B. W.
November 27, 2020 18:14

It's not just Percy Jackson that i'm a fan of, I'm also a fan of Greek Mythology and some other ones in general. Well, "Otherworldly repairs" isn't really a sequel to this in a way, it mentions something from this story, so both are at least related.

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November 28, 2020 16:58

Oh, okay! I'll check it out!

Just realized, I had already read that one! That was a good read too! But, how is this one related to that story?

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B. W.
November 28, 2020 19:19

Do you remember the contest in this story that they are doing to get something to save the friend? Well in Otherworldly repairs, it mentions the contest as well and what the person who wins would get, I plan at some point in something for the characters in this and in otherworldly repairs to meet somehow.

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November 28, 2020 19:36

Ohhh!! Okay okay! Got it!
Well, please do let me know when you write it then! :)

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B. W.
November 28, 2020 20:00

It'll probably take a while though, because I have to first make a part 2 for otherworldly repairs and some other things for other series I have on here, along with some new things

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Ashlyn Anderson
November 17, 2020 04:27

You have some spelling and grammar mistakes, but you did well, Miss B. W. You are
great author and I hope your dreams come true.

Reply

B. W.
November 17, 2020 04:41

You can just call me B if ya want or something by the way ^^

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Liza Grazioli
November 08, 2020 06:38

Good job! When do you normally post your stories for the week?

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B. W.
November 08, 2020 06:53

Thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ what do ya mean by that?

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Liza Grazioli
November 08, 2020 06:56

After you get the prompt, what day to you submit your story?

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B. W.
November 08, 2020 07:03

It just depends :/ some days ill submit a lot of the stories the day the new prompts come out or sometimes the day after or just some other time when I feel like it, why?

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Liza Grazioli
November 08, 2020 07:12

Generally speaking, when you have a full week to write something you should take advantage of that. You have really good ideas, but your stories themselves could use editing and polishing, especially since it has a lot of grammatical errors. You are able to come up with ideas and write them quickly, which is really great. Since that's the case, getting second opinions and people to check for mistakes doesn't take much time and will really help you with your writing. It's just an idea since I think you have some amazing potential and I want to see it fulfilled!

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B. W.
November 08, 2020 07:19

I've been using Grammarly lately with more recent stories, though my way older stories would probably be the ones to have all the most mistakes and all that. I don't even HOW I would get others to see my stuff, besides maybe a doc but I don't think i'd do that. I'm also writing like 5 or 6 novels at the moment, though I'm self-editing them all and all that, I probably won't have someone to help me for a while. I don't think there are that much errors or anything like that in this story though.

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November 07, 2020 14:40

Good job! I’m hung up on what happens next. I’m looking forward to reading your next chapter. I like the ending. It’s a great cliffhanger.

Robert

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B. W.
November 07, 2020 17:10

thank you, im glad ya liked it ^^ if ya mean by 'next chapter' do ya mean just the next part or do ya know that thisll be a novel?

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November 07, 2020 19:54

I guess we can call it parts. I’ve noticed chapters are about the same length. If you put enough of these together you’ll have a book.

Robert

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B. W.
November 07, 2020 19:58

oh yeah, i guess your right

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Amaya Reddy
November 05, 2020 22:51

"A small and thin blanket was covering most of his body, not like that would do anything for him though." This would work well if you had the whole "snarky narrator" thing going on, but the rest of the story doesn't really fit with this tone.

Try "A small and thin blanket was covering most of his body, though it wouldn't do anything for him."

There are a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, maybe try Grammarly? That's what I have and it works really well even without the Premium version.

"At first glance, at least a bit far away, he would have looked normal and he had." Maybe "At first glance, at least a bit far away, he would have looked normal, and he did." Adding the comma and switching had with did can make it flow a lot better.

B, honestly, this was amazing. I liked the story line, I loved the whole Jinx and Binx thing :).

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B. W.
November 05, 2020 22:57

Thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ i can try to go and fix that stuff soon and thanks for the critique/feedback as well. I was watching or least thinking about Hocus Pocus so I decided to name a character Binx because its a bit interesting. What did ya think about the whole Hopper thing and all that?

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November 04, 2020 20:23

Wow, B.. I agree with Laiba M that your grammar has definitely improved and that I am proud of you. You have definitely come a long way from the first story that I read of yours--that is a true fact. Your plot is beautiful, and I think that this would turn into a wonderful novel, like you mentioned before. Overall, fantastic job and I would love to read more. -Brooke

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 21:02

Thanks, im glad ya liked the story ^^ i had wrote the story and finished it at like 2am at some point so I thought it wasn't going to be good or something, but I guess it was good since people seem to like it a lot. Could you maybe help with the novel now?

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November 04, 2020 21:07

You are welcome. Haha, I understand that. When you're tired you doubt lots of things even more. Yes, lots of people like it. Um, sure. What do you need help with?

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 21:10

well, ya know the whole thing in the story with Hopper?

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November 04, 2020 21:29

Yes.

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 21:34

well, i kinda need help with what the 'prize' would exactly do and how it would stop Hopper from dying, and what Hopper would be because he isn't a human.

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Charles Stucker
November 04, 2020 18:51

"A small and thin blanket was covering most of his body, not like that would do anything for him though." Try, "A small, thin blanket covered most of his body, not like it would do anything for him."

"There was a small creaking noise from behind them and then a voice spoke, "
Try, "Something creaked behind them. Then a voice said, "

"Binx began to look over her friend again, besides his skin she couldn't really see anything else wrong with him." Punctuation and excess words - "Binx looked over her friend again. Besides his skin, she couldn't see anything wrong with him."

"Do you possibly remember that contest that's been talked about for a while? "
"Do you remember the contest everyone's talked about for a while?"

"few things...I guess about him and his people. We came across a few things and I suppose he wanted me to see all of it, there was a thing" It's the attack of the THING!!! dun dun DUUUUN!!!!! Seriously, watch for repeated words.

Everyone looked back at Hopper who's- comma after Hopper

"we can't all join, some of us or one of us will still need to stay here with Hopper."
"We can't all join. At least one of us will still need to stay here with Hopper."

"I could go and do it, I think I'd be the best for it anyway." change coma to period

Jinx or Piper decided not to argue with him, if they did then they'd end up wasting a lot of time. They'd be wasting Hoppers time here, they needed to get the prize.- Punctuation and edits- Jinx or Piper decided not to argue with him. If they did, then they'd end up wasting a lot of time- Hoppers time. They needed to get the prize.

So, this had great pacing. Very fast and a complete story arc with no dead space. You really are ready for the next level. But be careful, the zombies are there and, well, you know how their bit works...
The next step is learning how to edit. Two tips. One, look for repeated words- like "thing" above. Two, get rid of dead weight words - the ones which add nothing. The biggest offenders are forms of be, have, and will. Just work at it as you can. It's another skill and one which does a lot of good at improving your work.

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 19:04

Alright thank you ^^ ill try to fix and change that stuff. I actually really liked this one and its probably one of my favorite stories that I've done, I'm actually gonna turn this one into a novel

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Kaitlyn James
November 04, 2020 04:31

Super cute story! I liked it a lot! My favorite part was definitely the ending. It really tied the story up and was really interesting. Great job!

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 04:41

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ did ya have a favorite part or was it the ending?

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Kaitlyn James
November 04, 2020 13:49

Definitely the ending.

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 16:19

this is gonna be a novel :)

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Kaitlyn James
November 04, 2020 18:02

Seriously!? Cool!

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 18:03

yeah ^^ i really like this story so i wanna make it a novel

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November 04, 2020 04:18

Interesting story B.W. I was very intrigued and couldn't stop reading until I got to the end. As always I don't know where your ideas come from but they are always superb! I liked the ending it was really nice how you didn't tell us whether Hopper was saved or not you just ended it off with Binx getting the prize. i believe it really lets the reader imagine what happens next on there own.
All of it was amazing so I would say the whole story was my favorite.
Great job, BW and keep writing!

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 04:25

Thanks, i'm glad ya liked this one ^^ i don't really know either, I just kind of randomly come up with the ideas. I actually liked this idea/story so much, that I think I'm going to go and turn this into a novel ^^

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November 04, 2020 04:45

Yup of course!
And wow! What is this your sixth novel??
AND I forgot to say, but, congratulations on finishing your first NOVELLA!!!!! So proud🤧😭 are you gonna publish it??

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 05:24

I'm not really sure if i should publish the novella or not

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November 04, 2020 05:41

Oh I see. Why are you not sure??

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 05:42

I don't know, i just dont think that I should publish the novella, though I probably will publish the other stuff

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November 03, 2020 23:33

Great job! Jinx and Binx.. how did you come up with those? They are so unique and fun.
Also good job with spelling, capitalization, and grammar. There were still a few spots that needed to be fixed but overall you are getting a lot better.

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 23:39

Thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ i dunno i just like the name Jinx and i really like Hocus Pocus so i named a character Binx. Though do ya think you could help with something with this story?

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Avery G.
November 03, 2020 22:39

WOW!!! This was good, B! This one seemed really good, since your spelling and grammar has really improved! I also like the names Jinx and Binx, lol. I didn't really have a favorite part, but I loved this story! Great job!

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 22:41

Thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ I was kinda remembering some stuff about Hocus Pocus and so that's why one of the characters is named Binx. do ya think you could maybe help me with some stuff for this though? I have a plan for it

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Avery G.
November 03, 2020 22:42

No problem! Ahh, I see. What can I help you with?

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 22:49

well, i actually wanna turn this story into a novel because I like this one a lot ^^

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Kate :)
November 03, 2020 21:00

I liked this story! If there's a part 2, I'm excited for it. :)

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B. W.
November 03, 2020 21:08

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part of it or anything? also, is it alright if ya could help me something related to this?

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Kate :)
November 04, 2020 16:54

Sure- and my favorite part was when Binx decides to go to the contest.

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B. W.
November 04, 2020 17:02

im actually gonna turn this into a novel

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December 30, 2020 00:40

Hey, B.! I put you in my newest story, so I think that you would enjoy reading it. If you don't, that's okay. If you do, thanks! -Brooke

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B. W.
December 30, 2020 02:20

Hm? Alright, I'll check it out ^^

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December 30, 2020 17:22

:D

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B. W.
December 30, 2020 18:05

:)

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Kaitlyn James
November 08, 2020 00:53

Hey B! I have something to tell you! It's not urgent I'm just happy!

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B. W.
November 08, 2020 00:56

alright, what is it then?

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Kaitlyn James
November 08, 2020 01:12

So, I am eleven. I don't know if you knew that, but I have a soccer tournament this weekend and we won our first game. So if we win our game tomorrow morning.......... We can be in the championships. I didn't really have anyone to tell so I figured why not tell you! I don't really know if you care, but I am really happy!

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B. W.
November 08, 2020 01:13

Yes i know and im quite older than ya but eh, it was also in your bio i think. Though that's great! ^^ i hope ya do win, that would probably be really fun to do the stuff.

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Kaitlyn James
November 08, 2020 01:15

Yeah! I am really sore because we had two games today lol. Thanks!

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B. W.
November 08, 2020 01:21

hey, i just made a new story ^^ could ya check out "Otherworldly repairs" and then leave some critique/feedback?

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Dalyane Deblois
November 07, 2020 22:00

Finally read your newest story! I love the story, well-written and great names! Wonder what the contest was!

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B. W.
November 07, 2020 22:13

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ i liked writing this one so much that ill be turning it into a novel, did ya maybe have a favorite part or something? what did ya think about the whole thing with Hopper?

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Dalyane Deblois
November 08, 2020 21:40

I did not necessarily have a favorite part but the whole story was intriguing, could make a great novel! I think the thing with Hopper is intriguing as I said for the complete story. Would want to know more about him.

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B. W.
November 08, 2020 21:41

this actually IS going to be a novel and I'm going to work on it, in the novel Hopper would probably be the actual protagonist and this would be a little part of a chapter where it focuses more on the other characters.

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Dalyane Deblois
November 09, 2020 20:45

That's great! It did feel like part of a longer story!;)

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B. W.
November 09, 2020 20:46

would ya ever read the novel if i published it?

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Emma Sunshine
November 07, 2020 17:03

This is very unique. The characters are great, and I feel emotionally connected to them. Good work.

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B. W.
November 07, 2020 17:14

thanks ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part or something?

Reply

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