Reedsy Prompt #355 Uncle Albie's Makeover

Reesy Prompt # 355 UNCLE ALBIE’S MAKEOVER

“You girls pick up your toys, now,” Mama said. “Uncle Albie is on his way and he’ll be here any minute.” We did what she said, but happily this time because he was a great favorite of ours.

I hadn’t had my birthday yet so I was 4 years old. Two cousins close in age happened to live next to us, and my mother babysat them while their mother went to work. Mama didn’t allow me to get away with anything, though. I had to follow a strict set of behaviors, and mostly my cousins had the same rules at their house. We weren’t naughty children. We were enthusiastic about many things, though.

One of those things was the entertaining of our Uncle Albie when he came for a visit. We considered it an honor to have a guest in the home. When he visited, he always had a piece of candy for each of us, and plenty of funny stories to tell. He would stay with us for a few days, then return to his own home in the near countryside. We wouldn’t see him again until Christmas.

He was actually Mama’s uncle. Her father’s brother. He had always been part of her childhood and she loved him dearly. We felt the same way about him, I think.

One day not long after his arrival he wanted a nap. So he stretched out on the sofa in the living room. Mama was doing something in another room. We girls were playing in my bedroom but we went looking for Mama. That’s when we spotted Uncle Albie asleep on the sofa.

One of the cousins mentioned how scruffy he was looking just then. We did think it was awful that he was so nice looking, yet let himself get so very hairy. If he had a bit of grooming, he would look just like pictures of himself when he was younger. He was just such a hairy man!

It was just that innocent and yet diabolical. We came up with a full-grown plan and I can’t say who thought of it. We all did, really. We would do him the kindness of making him look pretty. And when he woke up, he would be so happy to see what we’d done! And I don’t know where Mama was because she seldom let me out of her sight. But we had implements at hand and no supervision for the moment. So, with Mama’s good sewing scissors and 2 little craft scissors, we set to our task.

He had these great eyebrows, long hairs and thick as anything. They came almost together across the top of his nose. Those had to be trimmed back! I got right on the task at hand.

He had these fat sideburns that went down his face like something he forgot to wipe off. One cousin started rearranging a sideburn.

Across his upper lip was a droopy full mustache full of long hairs going every which way. The other cousin started correcting it.

We were laughing and happy just to think of the pleasure we were bringing to our sweet uncle. And all while he slept. Wouldn’t he be so happy when he woke up and found it out?

But before we could finish our good deeds, he stirred in his sleep. For some reason he put his hand on his whole face. Then he moved his hand down his face. Then opened his eyes. Then roared like a real lion. He sat up mad as a hornet. The three of us screamed in that high little girl voice that only dogs can hear, and before any of us knew what had happened, we found ourselves running for dear life out the back door.

We made it as far as the bushes along the side yard. There we crowded together and hid within the bushes as we looked at each other in disbelief. What went wrong, we wondered. From that distance we could hear the conversation inside the house. Because it was all Uncle Albie talking really loud. And we were far too scared to say a word. So we just stayed quiet and listened.

“While I was sleeping, Maudie!” and other such things. No profanity, though. He knew better than to use bad words around my mother. We couldn’t hear what she said to him but we thought we were all in a world of trouble.

So we stayed in the bushes for as long as we could be still. Finally, it came to be lunchtime and we dared to venture into the kitchen. Mama would be calling us anyway if we hadn’t come in on our own.

But we were all scared to pieces for what would happen. Maybe he would have got over his being mad. We hoped for that one. Maybe I would get a spanking. I expected it. The cousins thought their mother would be told the whole story and give her own spankings to them. Yet, Mama didn’t say anything at all about Uncle Albie. We just sat quietly and ate our sandwiches. Uncle Albie wasn’t even there, actually.

So we more or less forgot all about it and went off to play on the swings in the backyard. We had so many things to do that afternoon. Flowers to smell, a tree to climb, you know. The kind of activity that makes an afternoon nap necessary. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before we were all put to nap on our mats in my room.

After we woke up from the nap we again had many fun things to do and never gave another thought to Uncle Albie or the expected spanking. That would have spoiled all our fun if we’d been thinking about it.

Not long before Daddy got home from work, while Mama was busy in the kitchen, Uncle Albie came in the front door. When we saw him we couldn’t get over how nice he looked. But we didn’t say a word about it because. . .no need to trouble trouble, you know. Never trouble trouble til trouble troubles you. Words to live by!

Then my aunt came to pick up her girls, and it was just me, Mama, Daddy, and Uncle Albie at the dinner table. That’s when I heard the end of that story. Uncle Albie had gone straight to the barbershop after he’d told my mother what we’d done.

The guys in the barbershop laughed at him. “What’d those little girls do to you, Albie?” they said. He even smiled as he told the story. Daddy kind of laughed. Mama just didn’t say anything. I of course kept looking at my food and not talking at all.

By the time I went to bed there was no spanking or even the stern talking to. I never did get punished for making Uncle Albie pretty! That’s probably the only time I ever got away with something. I still don’t know what Mama made of the whole thing. But I’m glad I didn’t get spanked and I’m glad the barber made Uncle Albie look better than he had before!