Thou Shalt Not

***Author's note: This story contains sex scenes and swearing. This story felt wrong to write, but hopefully it feels wrong to read in a good way. If that makes any sense. There's more I can say, but I'll just leave it at that. Let me know what you think!

Summer was over, and so were we. We existed outside of reality while the days were hot and long, but as soon as the air caught a cold chill, the real world put us in separate time out chairs complete with dunce caps. Somewhere along the way, in my desperate attempt to find a companion, I threw out my morals. I broke the commandments like they were a bucket list.

We met in the most Hallmark movie worthy way possible. One beautiful, sunny day, my dog, Snickerdoodle, was limping when I got home from work. I hadn’t met the new vet yet. In walked this man and I almost swooned.

“Are you okay?” He asked.His hands sent little electric shock waves throughout my body as he steadied me.

“I am now.”

“Sit.” This man guided me into a chair. Then he turned his attention to Snickerdoodle. I had to suppress a giggle when his voice became high pitched as he told Snickerdoodle she was a beautiful girl. Am I a beautiful girl, too? I thought, except it wasn’t in my head.

“Pardon?” He said.

“Uhh. I said I think she’s beautiful too.”

Heat rose up from my collar, but if he knew what I actually said, he played none the wiser.I ran my hands through Snickerdoodle’s fur and “accidently” grazed his hand in the process. He pulled it away more out of surprise than anything else.As he examined the dog, I examined him.He was average height, which was perfect for a short woman like me. Kissing him would be...shit… there it was on his left hand, a perceived stop sign to most single ladies, but I’m the exception. I have no qualms committing a traffic infraction. Fortunately, this man said Snickerdoodle would be just fine.He gave me a prescription for painkillers and sent us on our way.

Thou shalt not covet. After I met this man, thoughts of him consumed me.Physically, I was alone. Mentally, I had something new to stimulate me. My hands became his as he guided me to the finish line.

Of course, I never intended that my first relationship would be a fraud, but I also never intended to be lonely this long. My virginity was something I privately prided myself on, but that pride nose-dived to embarrassment when I turned thirty, so when I met this man at thirty-three, I was depraved, eager to fuck any man who dared to glance my way.

Thou shalt not bear false witness. I lied. I didn’t hurt anybody. Does that matter? About a month after we met, I called the vet to see if this man made house calls because Snickerdoodle was “vomiting,” and I was “worried.” When he arrived, he said he preferred to work from the office, but he wanted to come in…come to my house. Yes, he said that. Yes, it sounds like it was ripped from a romance novel. He checked on Snickerdoodle and gave her a clean bill of health. My acting skills need to be dusted because my actions were over the top. I wrapped him in an embrace. I lingered longer than socially acceptable, but he didn’t push me away. Dinner was “conveniently” almost done, so I invited him to stay. He said he shouldn’t. It was “the least I could do.” He obliged.I uncorked more than just wine that evening and not in the way I had intended. I played therapist. This man explained in excruciating detail the difficulties in his marriage. The highlights included infertility and lack of sex. If I had been fully listening, I would have lost enthusiasm. Instead, I stared into his olive-green soul gateways picturing what I wanted to do to him. I ran my hand along his bicep. I leaned in to kiss him. He jumped back. First, he was married. Second, it wouldn’t be appropriate to get involved with the patient’s owner. As he reached for the door, though, he slid something into my pocket. Once he left, I reached in and pulled out his business card; his cell phone number was on the back.

Thou shalt not steal. Deep down I acknowledge that I broke this one, which is why it makes the list. Technically, the word steal is harsh because to steal something means to intend to permanently deprive someone of their property. I had no such intentions, unless you count praying for a divorce. On the record, I’ll admit to borrowing this man from his wife. He was returned, albeit broken.

I expected fireworks the first time, but I didn’t even get sparklers. Two weeks ago, he had emptied his soul. Now, it needed filling. He was barely in the door when he grabbed my face and pressed his lips into mine. He paused briefly. Without saying anything, I knew what he was asking. I nodded. He continued. He was hungry. Was he using me? Maybe.Was I using him? Absolutely. We stumbled our way into my bedroom. The back of my head smashed into the wall when he pushed me against it. I grimaced.

“Shit. Sorry!”He said.

“It’s fine. Keep going.”

I trembled. My previous bravado was waning. He had gone to confession, but I hadn’t. Would it ruin the moment if I told him? Before I could think further, he ripped my shirt open revealing my neon green sports bra.I cringed. Nothing says sexy like a sports bra with underboob sweat pools.In his haste, he didn’t notice my disappointment. I pulled his shirt over his head revealing his six-pack. Clearly, I was benefitting from this more than him. We spun around, and he landed on top of me on the bed.This, in turn, excited Snickerdoodle, and she jumped up to join the fun.

“Snickerdoodle, no.” I said.

I tried to push her down, but she was having none of it.

“Hang on.” I told this man.

I got up and the dog followed. I gently pushed her out the door and closed it. Then, she started barking.

“Just ignore her.” I said.

We resumed our positions. He straddled me, lightly trailing his hands over my body. The dog was still barking. He began kissing my neck and simultaneously reached around my back searching for a nonexistent clasp.

“It doesn’t unhook. You have to pull it.” I said.

Ravenous, he clawed at my bra pushing it up. My boobs flopped out. No longer being able to multitask, he stopped. I sat up.

“You have to pull it over my head.” I said. I put my arms up like a child.

He got it caught on my face.

“Sorry!”

“It’s okay.”

I disentangled myself. We stared at each other for a few moments. Both of us were only half naked and already exhausted. He reached for my cheek.

“No.” I put out my hand.

“But…” He pouted.

“It’s late. I think we’ve done enough for tonight.”

Dejected, he said, “ok. I’ll see myself out.”

Thou shalt not commit adultery. At face value, I would say that I am not the adulterous one. I made no vows; therefore, I broke none. If I’m being honest with myself, I facilitated this man’s adultery. I was his mistress and am not blameless.

I got sparklers the second time. They are somewhat fun, last for a decent amount of time, are slightly dangerous, but then they fizzle. This time, he wanted a sexcapade, so he blindfolded me and put me in his convertible. After a few minutes, the car pulled over. He guided me out. My arms stretched in front of me like a zombie. I put one foot in front of the other as he tugged me along. Tall grass tickled my legs. The sun toasted my skin. We stopped.Still blindfolded, I waited, breathless.My heartbeat thumped in my ears. He peeled off my dress revealing lingerie this time. The summer breeze, although warm, gave me goose bumps. I fumbled with his pants. Finally, he let me see. I squinted.We were in an open field. The grass gave us some cover, and we were far enough away from the road to really be seen. It was odd that he wanted to fornicate like cows. Maybe he liked the thrill of possibly getting caught? He finished undressing me rather quickly for my liking.Being fully naked in front of this man gave me pause. I was Eve.Maybe it was all the nature, but I was suddenly ashamed of my nakedness, and suddenly acutely aware of my sins.Eve, however, felt God’s wrath after a few bites. Had I ended it right then, maybe I could have been absolved. Ohhh, but the taste was already in my mouth. It was too sweet to give up now.

Boom! The third time I got fireworks. This time, this man’s wife was out of town.Getting any excitement from the debauchery of fucking another woman’s husband in her own bed is immoral, and yet, exhilarating. At this point, I unquestionably have a one-way ticket to hell. The flickering candles provided dim light allowing us to commit our act in the shadows. Roses had been desecrated on the bed. Their delicate red petals had been torn off their stems for a moment of pleasure, and in seeking that moment of pleasure, I had thrown the sanctity of marriage asunder. This man opened a box of chocolate covered strawberries, which I can only imagine, came straight from the forbidden tree. He fed me one. Ohhh, it was sweet. Its juice trickled down my chin and was thwarted by his mouth.

Piece by piece I unraveled with every article of clothing he removed. He pinched my nipples.

“Ohh.” I quivered.

“You’re a naughty mistress. I’m going to punish you.” This man whispered.

And punish me he did.

Thou shalt not take the lord's name in vain.This man was right to call me naughty.The devil is printing that one-way ticket now. This man may have elicited an “OH GOD” or ten when I was coming. He may have also elicited an “OH MY GOD” when I reached climax.Only God and this man will know for certain, but if God didn’t want these utterances, why did he make sex so God damn pleasurable. Oops. May I take that back?

The last time there was a boom and no fireworks. This time a bomb exploded fracturing the two of us.When he told me he was coming over, I sensed tension. I thought he just needed a good time, so I answered the door naked.

He stormed in. “For fuck’s sake! Put some clothes on you whore!”

Stunned, I ran into my room and threw on whatever I could find. He paced back and forth in my living room running his hands through his hair. I sat on the couch deflated. Snickerdoodle was curled up against me.

“What happened?” I hedged.

“What happened? My wife found out, that’s what happened!”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Is that all you have to say for yourself?” This man said.

“I…well…we…how?”

“The neighbors tattled. That’s how.They said they saw a strange car in the driveway. Armed with that knowledge my wife called work to see whether my late nights had actually been at the office, and well, she’s not stupid.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked.

His jaw clenched. His eyes questioned my audacity. “I’m going to do what I must. I’m going to beg, grovel, and pray that she forgives me.”

“What about us?”

“Us? You stupid bitch. You ruined my life and you have the nerve to ask!”

I stood up. “That’s it!”

I put my face in his close enough to see him pulsating. I almost melted into him, but it was too late. “Don’t be pointing fingers when you should be looking in the mirror! It takes two to tango! Now get out of my house!”

Thou shalt not kill. Okay, so I exaggerate. I’m not guilty of breaking this one. I wanted to kill this man that day. My heart had pictured a different ending despite my mind knowing better. I had entangled myself with a married man. He owes me no loyalty, so I won't pretend that he does. I slammed the door, and I'm not looking back. The summer was over, and so were we.