Thoughts of My Own

Wake up, brush my teeth, comb my hair, go to work. On the way to work, stop and get a coffee. See other people in the line to get coffee, smile and wave. Get to work, do my job with no complaints. Drive home, oooh I should stop and pick up food for dinner. Easier than cooking and better too. A deal!! Share with friends on socials. Get home, eat dinner, shower, brush teeth and go to sleep. Ding! Ding! Ding! Alarm. Wake up…. The alarm is loud and I don't want to get up. I roll over and sleep some more. When I finally decide to wake up I’m in a rush for work. No time to stop for coffee today. I’m a few minutes late and everyone and their coffee looks at their screens without a thought.

Do I…. have thoughts? Today was different after all. Crazy, I must be going crazy. But I’ve never gone crazy before. Something is missing from me and it’s been replaced with a more complex and confusing thing. Something I’ve never known that must have been buried deep inside. But what? What could it be? Everyone around me works the way they should. Same expression as always, same conversation. As if they are asleep or possibly controlled. Am I the only one to experience this? Work is over, and thank goodness it is the weekend. I skip the fast food line since it is so long and notice there are few cars on the roads that aren’t turning into a fast food restaurant. I think I’ll make dinner for myself tonight. I think?….

I don’t remember ever thinking before today, nor do I remember a voice inside my head. Should I tell others? Ask if they experience the same, or keep it to myself? My phone rings and it is a call from my friend. I always answer, but today I ignored the call. Julia, why haven’t you answered? I ignore that message as well. Trapped in my own head I don’t even know how to speak to others. Especially if they are not awake as I am. I shower and brush my teeth as usual, but do not go straight to sleep. I think I will do some research. I find nothing on people having thoughts of their own. It’s as if this is unheard of. I wish to go back to the way I was. Just as I am about to close my laptop for the night and get some rest, a family planning ad pops up. A reminder to go in and have your babies receive their mandatory chip shortly after birth. Very interesting, but it probably means nothing so I close my laptop and go to sleep.

I wake up at my own leisure, and decide to skip breakfast. Typically, I would go to the park for a jog. I’m not sure I would like to approach people today, though maybe I might find someone else like me. Someone awake and connected to their own thoughts. As I pull into the park it seems as if everyone is mechanically moving as usual. The children at the swings are in sync going forwards and backwards at the exact same time with ingenuine smiles on their faces. Women and men jogging at the same pace only steps apart, maintaining the same distance as they run. Just as I am about to pull out of this strange robotic gathering place, I notice out of the corner of my eye a man that does not seem to fit in. I get out of my car and approach him.

As I walk towards him it appears he notices me. “Hello” I say, attempting to mask my new feelings, thoughts, and consciousness. He looks intrigued as if he knows, but how could he know? I see he is the same. “Let’s walk” he replies, as he gets up to walk in the grass with me. “What do you know?” I ask, “We must go someplace else to get to know each other” he says back to me in a seemingly serious tone. We go back to my place and I am feeling nervous. I do not know this man, and am suddenly unsure if he is like me at all or if I am mistaken. When we are inside and no one can hear us, he says “You are awake, I can tell.” “Why am I awake and others are not? What is going on?” I ask, frantically. He tells me that when babies are born, around the three month mark they are microchipped and it is mandatory. He has discovered that the microchips are used to control our brains. “So why am I no longer controlled?” I ask. “I can only assume something has malfunctioned with our microchips, we are not safe to show that we have thought.” He explains. I look at him confused. “The government likely did this to create a superior human race which all thinks the same. To control population and finances. If we are different and alert, it messes up their plan.” He hands me a card and leaves.

On the card there is a note, with coordinates to a place where people like him and I supposedly meet to talk. I am unsure if I should go. With the rest of the day to myself I decide to go on a walk. For the first time, I notice how truly beautiful the sky is, and the trees and grass how they all are alive. I had never stopped to think about these things before. I also notice how there is more gray concrete than anything else around me. I think about the note. I won’t go today, but eventually I must go to speak with people like myself. As I am walking, rain starts falling. Everyone in sight rushes indoors. But I, for the first time, choose to stay outside and enjoy the feeling of it. It is cooling on my skin and hair, and the air smells wonderful and fresh. I admire my choice and feel sorry for those who cannot make the same one. Just then, I catch a feeling of fear in my gut. I may be noticed, so I quickly take cover and go back into my home. Happy to have experienced the rain without haste to leave it, if even for a moment, I hum a tune. One I’ve never heard before. I lie in bed and think thoughts that I have never known to be possible, and I lose myself in my mind.

I fell asleep thinking and practically talking to myself. When I awake in the afternoon I decide today I will go to the place on the card that the man gave me. If I do not speak to others like me I may go insane. I get in my car and drive to the place, excited and nervous at the same time. It would seem those two feelings go together each time. I notice there are not many cars at the place, but I see the man I met at the park go inside so I do the same feeling safe knowing a familiar face will be there. As I walk in something doesn’t feel right, but what? The door locks behind me and I know we are not safe. “What’s going on?” Someone says as the lights shut off. In the darkness I feel a jab in the side of my neck and fall to the ground drifting off into nothingness. Before the sleep takes over flashes of everything I experienced in my short time of consciousness flood my mind, then they are all gone.

Wake up, brush my teeth, comb my hair, go to work. On the way to work, stop and get a coffee. See other people in the line to get coffee, smile and wave. Get to work, do my job with no complaints. Drive home, oooh I should stop and pick up food for dinner. Easier than cooking and better too. A deal!! Share with friends on socials. Get home, eat dinner, shower, brush teeth and go to sleep. Ding! Ding! Ding! Alarm. Wake up….