Maya

I didn’t want to just be friends. I wanted to be her. Whenever I thought about the shit life that had been handed to me I always asked why I couldn’t have been as as pretty, as talented, as blessed as her.

I stared at myself in the mirror like I did every morning.

Staring back was the reflection of me dressed in my ill fitting work uniform, which looked like some crackpots vision of what an 1800s servant might've worn.

Grabbing the matching head bonnet, I took one more look in the mirror.

What fucking a joke…

I had absolutely nothing going for me, my sorry ass still lived in a beat up old trailer in the middle of nothing Anaheim, with my alcoholic chain-smoking mother who was currently passed out in the living room, a lit cigarette still smoldering in the ash tray, having come home from her shift at the Olive Garden.

Sighing, I grabbed my backpack and peaked into the second bedroom. My fifteen year old sister Lissy was nowhere to be found, her school stuff still tucked away in the corner, probably snuck out again.

“Of course…”

Rolling my eyes, I begrudgingly made my way into the living room, where mom was passed out.

“Probably getting high with one of her looser boyfriends again.”

Leaning over the couch I roughly shook my mom, I had to let someone know that Lissy wasn’t home; in case this was the day she actually disappeared for good.

"One of these days she's going to get in a car with the wrong guy."

“Mom. Mom! Wake up! Lissy isn’t home and I’m late for work!”

Mom groaned in protest and just turned over on her side.

Shaking my head, I just grabbed my keys.

I didn’t feel like getting chewed out by Stacy, the shift lead, but the second time this week for being a whole five minutes late.

"All because my mother and sister can't do anything right."

I worked the front of the house in first shift at Disneyland, wearing that pinstriped itchy uniform that all the cast members wore in the area between New Orleans Square and Bayou Country, along with the fake smile that people and their off spring devoured while wearing their fake ears and hats.

I spent my days selling that sweet, sweet magical experience to families who could afford it. Meanwhile, I was selling my soul to the devil people called "The Mouse" for a mediocre paycheck.

It all went into helping pay for the families rent, food, utilities, and any extras all while going to the local college to try and get some degree to make a better life for all of us.

College… That’s where we had met.

As I climbed into my car, my thoughts drifted back to her. Her name was Maya.

I admired Maya.

Maya was everything I had ever wanted to be and more.

She was interesting, beautiful, confident, smart, creative. I could go on and on about all the things she was and I wasn't. Maya and her perfect body, hair, face… with her just enough tattoos, well picked out clothes, designer bags and perfect husband Tim… She was something I could never be. Still, if I could only have what she had. Be what she was…

I had known her for about a year, but in that year I had learned all about her.

As I drove down Katella Ave, I thought back to when I first met Maya.

She’d been standing in the college courtyard, books and art supplies in hand looking at her schedule trying to figure out where to go. Her long black hair carefully braided back as to not get into her face, wearing a pair of loosing fitting jeans and a white eye-lit cotton shirt. Right away I decided she was interesting.

Later, I realized I was right!

She was studying to be an art teacher and was quite talented, she would set up in the court yard or the cafeteria and would sketch whatever caught her eye. People often gathered around to watch her work. I of course would be one of them.

I had always wanted to do some kind of art, but I never had any talent, though I had tried. People often say:

“You don’t need talent, you just need to practice!”

But I call bull shit, you need talent and Maya had that, I didn’t.

“Excuse me, but can you tell me why your park decided to be out of the exclusive Nightmare Before Christmas ears, when we decide to come on vacation?”

I stare blankly at the large middle aged lady in front of me asking me the dumb question, like I had any control over what inventory was available during her vacation. However, I caught myself and brought a large smile across my face.

“I am sorry ma'am, but unfortunately we have no control over what corporate sends us, however, if you want to check out the World of Disney Store or perhaps some of our other bigger stores over at California Adventure, they may have a few over there.”

“I bet Maya doesn’t have to deal with this kind of shit...”

It was a short shift that day, and I knew Maya would be at the college cafeteria around noon. She always got there a few minutes early to work on her drawings. I quickly packed my bag and headed out.

“You need to learn to be nicer to the customers, they’re here for a magical experience.” Said Stacy as I finished changing and grabbed my bag.

I nodded and closed my locker and headed out. I hated this place. Magical? More like the 9th circle of hell.

When I arrived, Maya, dressed in some cute overalls and a graphic t shirt, was already there with her usual lunch: cream of broccoli soup and half a sandwich. She wasn't drawing but was deep into some notes when she got a notification on her phone causing her to look up and wave at someone across the room.

Today she seemed especially happy, which was why I got annoyed when a group of girls interrupted our lunch to drag her off to the library to "work on a debate project."

Within a few minutes Maya had gathered her things and stood up, following the group of girls laughing and planning what sounded like the debate they were going to have next class.

As she walked past my table, I lowered my head and waited for her to leave.

“Well… there goes my afternoon...”

Class wasn’t until 3 pm, so now there was nothing to do, but hang out in the cafeteria for three hours until Algebra 1.

As if the universe had heard me, I felt my phone start vibrating in my pocket.

Caller ID: Anaheim Police Department

“FUCK”

I reluctantly answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is the Anaheim Police Department, we have a Lissy Hayward here. She was caught shoplifting with her boyfriend. We tried calling her mother but no one answered, you were the next one on the list.”

The ride home from the police station was a tense one. Not only had my lunch with Maya been cut short, but today’s paycheck had been spent on bailing Lissy out of trouble.

“You’re ruining your life.”

Lissy turned her back to me, staring outside the car window.

“You mean I'm ruining your life. I didn’t ask you to come get me. You could’ve just left me there.”

“You really think that’s what you want? To rot in jail?”

Lissy shifted her seat.

“I already know you hate me and mom. The way you look at us, the way you treat us, the resentment...”

In that moment something to snapped inside me.

I violently pulled the car off to the side of the road and turned to look at my sister. I had had it.

“Who wouldn’t resent you both! Do you know how much I’ve sacrificed for the two of you? And what’s the thanks I get? Mom drunk off her ass and you going off who knows where and getting picked up by the police for shop lifting! You're such an ungrateful brat!”

Lissy stared at me, her brown eyes burned into mine.

“I didn’t ask for you to sacrifice for me! Neither did mom! You could’ve left at anytime! YOU chose to stay and be miserable and you constantly throw it in our faces! I hate you!”

With that Lissy jumped out of the car and took off, to where I didn’t know, nor did I care.

Lissy’s words stung, what was I supposed to have done?

Packed up my car and left?

Started my own life and forget they existed?

Is that what Maya had done?

She'd gotten up and left with her friends without a second thought.

Without even noticing me.

Without realizing I existed.

I sat in my car and watched the Disneyland fireworks burst across the night sky.