Lilly Crystal

I looked at my watch, "what could be taking her so long?" I sigh "I hope she's okay." I plop down in my good ole recliner and kicked my feet up on the coffee table. Honk! Honk! "Oooh!" I screached almost jumping out of my skin. "I don't know why she does that to me everytime." I shook my head and grabbed my purse off the counter and sauntered out the door.

My granddaughter sat in the driver seat of her black 1998 Honda civic in my drive way, she looks up and smiles as she sees me. "I'm sorry I'm late, I over slept as usual." She shrugged, "that's alright lady bug you're here now aren't ya?"

Tissshhh! A loud crashing sound came from the back of the house, glass no less. I threw my arms up above my head caught off guard by the ruckus, "what the crap was that!?!" May yelled, clearly ticked off. She threw her car door open, slamming it shut behind her. "Now be careful, you don't know who's back there it could be unsafe just hold on a second!" I hollered "Damn girl" I sighed as she took off running toward the back through the gang way, I quickly shuffled after her. "HEY! Come back here!" She screamed, "what the hell is wrong with you!" She chased after someone that I could see running down the alley. "Just let them go! It's alright, it's just a window it can be fixed, get back here girl!" I yelled.

May turned around and jogged back to the house her cheeks scarlet from running. "All I know is it was a girl looked like she was around my age, I can't believe she tried to break in your house!" She gasped catching her breath. "You don't know that that was what she was doing, innocent untill proven guilty, you know that." I nudged her in the side with my elbow. "Yeah well usually If someone breaks one of your windows they're trying to get in or they're a kid throwing rocks and she's clearly not a kid playing around." She frowned. "Oh well we have somewhere to be." I said, "we'll clean this up later, let's get going."

I grabbed my Bible from the book shelf and made my way out to the front porch and sat down on my porch swing, the swing my daddy built when I was just a kid. I put my reading glasses on and got ready to spend some time with the good Lord as I swayed back and forth enjoying the cool evening air.

I was just about to the second verse of the book of Job when I heard a can rattle across the cement in the backyard. I sat up straight and put my book down "Here we go again" I whispered to myself. I got up and slowly walked around back I was shocked to see a young girl huddled over my trash can I use for soda cans, "Ohh." She jumped as I startled her "I'm so sorry, I was just coming back to leave some money for the window I broke yesterday all I have is 25$ but you take it please, I was just looking at your cat in the window yesterday and I fell into your window on accident, I got scared and took off when I heard yelling. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble ma'am." She sputtered out as she twisted her fingers together in front of her and stared at her feet. "I see, yes that baby in there has to be the most beautiful cat on God's green earth, I believe you alright." I took in her appearance all at once, I hadn't noticed her tattered jeans and holey shirt and her shoes that were falling apart at first glance. "Here take this money, I know it's not enough but it's all I have." She sighed. "Why was you so interested in peeking in on my kitty cat now?" I smirked. Her eyes grew wide as she began nervously "I love cats they're my favorite animal, borderline crazy cat lady I guess, I lost my cat 2 months ago and yours looks just like her, so I couldn't help but look closer." She said kicking dirt off her shoe. "Keep your money honey, my husband already has glass from another house we used to live in, back there in the garage, so we won't be needing to purchase a new window. " I handed her back the twenty dollar bill and the five ones, I glanced at the crease of her elbow as she reached out to grab the cash, she had obvious bruising and many track marks like freckles on her skin. She noticed me looking and hurried up and snatched the money back and wrapped her arms around her body, as she stood there hugging her sides I decided to ask her if she wanted to come sit with me on my porch swing and have a glass of iced tea. She nodded obviously some what leery of what my intentions were. We walked around front and I slid into my side of the swing and she followed suit. I looked at her and said "Are your mother and/or father also addicts? I asked a little worried of her reaction. She slumped her shoulders and sighed, looking back at me "Yeah, no neither one had a drug problem, my dad used to drink when I still a baby, but my mom got tired of it and told him it was either her or the alcohol, and well he quit drinking, he's been sober ever since." She stared at her hands folded in her lap. "My brother is an addict, well all 3 of my brothers are addicts, technically the 2 half brothers are alcoholics and my full brother is a junkie, just like me." She shook her head. "I'm sorry to hear that, usually the parents have a problem that they pass on to their kids, so how did you start all of that?" I asked with great interest. "I don't really know, to be honest, like one day I was with 2 friends and they had a small bag of weed and a pipe made out of metal pipes from a kitchen sink they made, and we chose to try to smoke it." She grimaced and shook her head staring off towards the street. "That was the begining of the end, it instantly hooked me, I was changed forever that day at the park at the top of a plastic slide hiding from view so we wouldn't get caught and get in trouble." She explained. "I guess I was just meant to be a drug addict, because after that one hit of smoke that's all I could think about, it's all I wanted. I didn't want to be sober or clear headed and clean I wanted to be high." She picked at her nails and bit her hang nail as she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't even know why I'm telling you all this, it's not your problem ya know, I don't like to talk about it." She said. I put my hand on her shoulder and patted her a couple of times. "Honey sometimes all we can do is talk, talk about the hard stuff, the misery, and the pain. It's when we don't talk about it that were letting poison seep into our bones and rot our souls." I smiled at her. "I asked because you look like you need someone to talk to, and I think I am that someone. That is if you want to, I'm all ears, no judgement here." I said as I lifted my hands up the palms facing out dramatically. She smiled and sipped her tea finally as she sat back into the swing and relaxed her shoulders for the first time since I caught her in the back. "Why do you put needles in your arms? Aren't you afraid you'll cause damage to your body one day by accident?" I asked worriedly. "Yeah, yeah I do worry sometimes, but it's never enough for me to actually stop doing it." She sighed. "It's funny, the person that showed me how to shoot up for the first time told me before she showed me how to do it that, that she didn't like to be the person that helps someone start shooting up." She snorted. "Yet she still stuck that needle in my arm and stripped away my only grasp on getting clean." She spit through her teeth as she talked, "I lost my boyfriend, my home, my son, my dignity, and my self worth that day in that car that was parked behind her cousins garage in the alley on 14th street." A tear slipped down her cheek as she struggled to steady her breathing to keep from crying. She wiped the tear away angrily. I sighed, "I'm sorry you've had to discover one of life's many spiritual wars. Some of us are destined to suffer more so than some people, while others live carefree lives." I looked at her and gave her a look of empathy. "Exactly!" She forced out rather quickly, "I'm cursed, and my life is never going to be the way it was before I took that first hit of smoke, I'm ruined. And there's nothing I can do about it." She hiccuped holding back tears that threatened to spill over her eyelids. "Ya wanna know why I asked you to sit and talk with me?" I questioned her kindly. "Why?" She asked, "Well honey, I too am one of the chosen ones who knows many miseries and has suffered a many a decade or two maybe three or four. I saw myself in you when I found you around back tonight." I smiled as my voice cracked a little. "My drug of choice was crystal meth, but I did just about everything there was as long as it kept be from being sober." I said. I know exactly what you're experiencing because once I was a junkie just like you, with bruises and track marks that marked my skin, my arms, legs, and belly would be covered in unsightly black and blue from breaking blood vessels putting needles in my skin over and over again desperately trying to find blood in that syringe. I was also diagnosed with anxiety, depression, schizo affected disorder, and schizophrenia caused by the stimulants no less. But I've struggled many times with my burdens. But I never gave up hope." I smiled at her and patted her shoulder once again. I can't tell you why God wrote our stories this way but there's undoubtedly a purpose for every painful thing you experience. Don't ask me what that is. Only you and the Lord can figure that out together." I said as I looked up at the sky. The stars were starting to poke out behind the clouds that painted the night sky. "Ya know what? Hold on just a second, I have something you might like, it may give you reassurance when you're feeling hopeless some night." I said as I stood and made my way into the house. I hurried upstairs to my jewelry chest I kept tucked away under my bed, I opened the lid and found the false bottom underneath all my trinkets and sterling silver. I opened the bottom and pulled out the Platinum skeleton key, not just any skeleton key it was one my great great great grandpa gave to my grandma when they married. On top of the key where the usual half moon hoop would be, two little cat ears as well as whiskers on each side laced the top of the key in the shape of a cat's head with diamonds for the eyes and smaller diamonds for the whiskers. That key was the apidamy of strength. You might think it's silly a key with a cat as the handle but just like my grandma she was a crazy cat lady she'd move hell and earth for her kitties, I too have the cat lady gene and would die to save my Lil Buns anyday. I walked back out on to the porch and sat down, I smiled some what sheapish, you said you were admiring my Lil One in the window so much so that you could have been injured breaking the glass." I smiled and laughed a little bit. "Hold out your hands" I told her. She held out her hand in front of her and opened her palm I placed the key in her hand and closed her fingers around it. "This has been in my family for many generations us Yates women fancy ourselves cat conaseures you could say." I laughed. She looked down at the little key and she grinned from ear to ear, "Oh how cute is that!" She exclaimed with pure enjoyment washing over her words as she spoke. "A cat once saved my life, she was all I had when I lost everything to my addictions. That baby was my soul, she kept me here when I was ready to be done and pass on." I smiled. "She looked at me surpirised, "it's the cat in the window, isn't it?" She asked curiously. "You betcha, now I'm going to send a cat with you that can hopefully be of some comfort when you're fighting a battle that seems like it will never end." I said as I stood up and walked to the front door. "Well honey I'd better be off to bed, I need my beauty sleep." I winked as I made my way into the house. I smiled as I walked in and saw my husband fast asleep on the couch. The man that never gave up on me. That man let me bring my Lil One home with me that day I finally decided to get clean and come back home.