One thing left to do before summer ends.

ONE THING LEFT TO DO BEFORE THE SUMMER ENDS.

It had been a beautiful summer, all the places I had wanted to go to that I seen in the brochure, I did.

I had mostly enjoyed the conversations, sometimes I had laughed, sometimes I cried and more than often I was just puzzled as some of the content and opinions were directly opposite to what I had been used to hearing.

However, everything I heard was going to be important to me with respect to where and who I would be working with, as I needed to be prepared for what was about to transpire.

This next step was something I could not put off or choose to ignore, it was something that had to happen and that outcome was inevitable, I had made my choice and there was no going back until the job was done and even then “going back “was dependent on me not forgetting from where I had come from.

I had absolutely free choice in this next step, both in deciding to do it and in working life out when I was there and employed.

There were times during that summer that I felt the need to withdraw and reflect on all I had heard and learnt.

I needed to be quiet and process the enormity of my “next step.”

Hence, I withdrew and thought about the life I had left behind.

I remembered beautiful walks I had taken and books and plays I had read and all the amazing discussions I had had with different friends and acquaintances.

I remembered the languages I had learnt and the skills I had practised until I was as adept at them as if they were second nature, which indeed they were.

I knew that many of the skills I had learnt were not going to be needed where I was going and I would have to learn new skills.

Then I remembered when this whole adventure had started, when I had first been summoned to the most beautiful room I had ever seen, resplendent in glorious colours, from the carpets on the floor, to the books that lined every wall and the paintings interspersed between them.

There were also windows that opened out onto a beautiful flower filled garden with summer houses and hedges and ponds and fountains.

I had stood there open mouthed.

Then my Boss stepped in and the atmosphere changed into something even more beautiful than before and when He spoke it was to offer me a proposal that I was told that I could indeed reject.

I could remain in my present position, and no one would think any the less of me or I could step out and see what the future held.

I was given a computer in which I could goggle my future workmates and see if I felt our lives and ambitions would be compatible.

I read up on every single one of them, from those who I would be working closely with, to those who were more far removed.

The ones I liked the look of the best were nearing retirement age, and for that I was sad because I would not get to be with them for very long. However, if I decided to go ahead with this proposal then I would make sure I listened to them and learnt as much as I could.

There was one lady who interested me very much, she had an intelligent face and a gentle manner about her. I read what was written about her career and was impressed with her straightforward non-judgemental way in relation to those she interacted with.

She was not due to retire for at least a few years so I would have time to learn what I could from her.

There was another who was much younger and I felt was brash and a bit of a bully, unfortunately she was the one I would be working with most closely. Several people had already rejected her, and she was getting a bit desperate for a co-worker.

I wondered why no one had told her it was because of her brash and intimidating ways that no one wanted to “take her on.”

And more importantly was I willing to take her on?

I had been told that If I was successful in this position and didn’t forget from whence, I had come, then nothing afterwards would be withheld from me, I would return to my former home with many feathers in my cap and a guarantee that my own retirement would be well provided for.

It wasn’t an easy decision.

I was given the weekend to go home and mull it over, to spend time with people I trusted and to “sleep on it” as the expression goes.

So, I did, I went home to my own beautiful house and garden, and I slept on it for three nights.

I thought of all I would be giving up.

My beautiful home, this new job entailed a move to another country.

My lovely wise, talented and clever friends.

My own family who had supported me unquestioningly.

And of course, a job that I already enjoyed and found fulfilling.

And most of all the security that I had in knowing that if I decided to stay, I could go on in this present position, and no one would think any the worse of me.

I was not being sacked just offered a promotion.

By the end of the weekend, I was none the wiser about what I should be doing and if anything, I was erring on the side of staying where I was and giving the promotion a miss.

It was very early in the morning of the third day, the day I had to give my answer, that I had a dream, and in this dream, I saw the brash intimidating lady as a little child.

She was being bullied and pushed to extraordinary limits by a dominating man who I think was her father, he was not a nice man.

In the depths of her soul was a frightened and defenceless child that no one had stood up for.

No one had ever looked the dominating man in the eye and told him to “back off” and the result was that he had gotten away with behaviour he should have been called out on from the very outset.

I then saw the dominating man die of a heart attack and the small, frightened child become a selfish and dominating person herself, she had simply transformed into her abuser.

Still there was something worth saving, the small child was still there and I had a sense, the sort that you have in dreams, that it was possible to reach her and to lead her back to where she too had come from before she was in this present job.

When I awoke it was with a sense that to accept the promotion was the right thing to do.

I picked up my iPhone and “what’s apped” my boss and said,

“yes”

He “what’s apped” back,

“Well done, you won’t be alone, we will be with you even though you cannot see us, you must learn to search for us in all places and in everything you read and partake in, and by doing so we will commune that way.”

So hence there was one thing left to do before the summer ended and that was,

“To be born.”