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Submitted to Contest #337
If the Shoe Fits…“Go find the owner of this glass slipper.”-The Prince; Cinderella Searches tend to be unsuccessful if one is uncertain of the target. Such was the case for Wally, living an unfulfilled life but unaware of what was missing. He could only hope he’d someday stumble into true happiness.“You really think your new bowling shoes are going to help, Wally?”“I think so, Tom. If nothing else, it will make me feel more confident.”“A good scout doesn’t blame his equipment. Your new bowling ball didn’t do much for you last week.”“What are...
Submitted to Contest #336
Party Like It’s 1657 BC“A Little Party Never Killed Nobody.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald; The Great Gatsby(Crude humor and language; possibly offensive, satirical treatment of Biblical characters) “How many goats did you lose today, Isaac?”“Shut up, Ishmael. Why don’t you go play in the dirt, farm-boy?”Sibling rivalry. “Brotherly Love” didn’t get off to a good start in the Garden of Eden, and it hadn’t improved much by the time Abraham was begettin’ his children. Later-day child psychologists would suggest that an overly strict upbringing can gener...
Submitted to Contest #334
The Wolf Who Cried “Boy!”♪ “We ain’t no delinquents,We’re misunderstood,Deep down inside us,There is good.” ♪-The Jets Gang, West Side Story “I know why you won’t go out with me, Marcie.”“It’s not that, Big Bad. It’s not that at all. It’s just that… well, it’s…”It was that. It was always that. Ever since the night of the big storm, when little Big Bad lost contact with the pack and wandered down off the mountain into this small town, it’s been that. He was alone, without family or friends, and different… very different.Children can be cruel....
Submitted to Contest #333
The Regular Guy’s Restaurant Review “You are a sensible man, and you don't let good things that come your way slip by.”-The Inspector General, Nikolai Gogol Letter to the Editor of the Evening Journal:Dear Sir,My wife and I very much enjoy reading Marcel’s Restaurant Review column, but we could never afford to dine at one of the places he writes about. Could you please ask Marcel to write a column about a less pricey dining establishment where the average guy could take his wife, and maybe even his children, out for dinner? There are probabl...
Submitted to Contest #332
A Dog’s Best Friend "You've heard of the British Nation and the French Nation? Well, this is the Imagination. And when you get there, you can do almost anything you want."-Kris Kringle, Miracle on 34th Street Reality to dream to delusion. This was the life of Riley.“Riley, what’s wrong?”“I’m not sure, Scoots. I feel sick as a dog.”This was always hard on Scoots. He knew his best friend, Riley, a stout, tricolor five-year-old beagle, had struggled with it for years. Scoots had tried everything: gentle persuasion, fierce argument, video clips,...
Submitted to Contest #331
Sex Worker Gets Final Rose“Caveat emptor.”-Ancient Roman principle (Crude, possibly offensive humor) The unexpected confluence of seemingly unrelated factors can lead to interesting results.Factor #1- Herb, soft, if not pudgy, forty-two-year-old, mild-mannered, self-checkout lane observer at Walmart; average in appearance with a nondescript personality; lonely.Factor #2- Once popular TV show dropping in the ratings.Factor #3- Creative TV writer brought in to save TV show dropping in ratings.Factor #4- TV producer desperate to salvage TV show...
Submitted to Contest #329
A Sin for the Ages“Confession is good for the soul.”-Scottish proverb. The lights were still shining through the stained-glass windows of St. Peter’s. Every second Tuesday of the month, Father O’Brien heard evening confessions for sinners who couldn’t take off from work if their souls depended on it. He was old school. The penitent took their place in a cramped cubicle and unloaded their transgressions on the elderly priest behind the curtain. Presumed anonymity loosens the lips and bares the soul.The lines had been long that night. It was t...
Submitted to Contest #328
I Still Remember You, Duncan “Why have all the pieces joined together to create such a cruel fate?” -Origin unknown 1965 The memory has persisted for sixty-two years. This is remarkable because I never even met him. Duncan, was just the guy who sat in the last row of my high school Spanish class, noticeable because he was always smiling or laughing, or at times struggling to stay awake. I envied him at the time because he was able to stay up late enough to watch the Steve Allen Late Night Show. Duncan was the prototype of the class clown wit...
Submitted to Contest #327
Hecate Remembers Macbeth “Double, double toil and trouble,Fire burn and cauldron bubble.Fillet of fenny snake,In the cauldron boil and bake;Eye of newt and toe of frog,Wool of bat and tongue of dog,Adder’s fork and blind-worm's sting,Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing,For a charm of powerful trouble.Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.Double, double, toil and trouble;Fire burn and cauldron bubble.”-Shakespeare ; Macbeth Halloween, the night of the witching hour, was the only day of the year that stirred Hecate’s spirit, the lone remnant of the glo...
Submitted to Contest #326
Cruel Encounters of the Third Kind“If you have never been hated by your child, you’ve never been a parent.”-Bette Davis Reader discretion advised: repeated references to oppression and suffering.Early and often, that is my tale of woe. It was only though a strong spirit, mental toughness, and the grace of God that I survived. I remember it all like it was yesterday. Traumatic events leave lasting scars.----------“Waa, waa, waa.”Who could ignore the anguish of a crying child? My parents, that’s who! At the vulnerable age of one, I was left al...
Submitted to Contest #325
Loving“No, that’s not what I mean. No, no… I mean that I love them. I’ve beenso lucky to have been able to have someone to love so much.”-Bessie (Diane Keaton); Marvin’s Room “Let’s hit the bars, Henry. The ladies are waiting.”“You go, Jack. I’m tired of trolling for women at the bars and clubs. I want a more meaningful relationship.”“The girls I meet at the bars hold a lot of meaning for me. A man has his needs, you know.”“No, I’m good here tonight.”“Your loss, Henry. I’m feeling lucky tonight.”“You always feel lucky.”“You’re not going to f...
Submitted to Contest #324
RedemptionJune, the month the Colorado River gorges itself on mountain snowmelt as it picks up steam, weaving its way down the Western Slope. Rapids, calm, wide, narrow, shallow, deep, left turn, right turn. Six million years in the making, but it was today that mattered.Carl often came to this place at river’s edge, the magnetic pull of the imagined and the unforgettable. The images played in his mind as often as the sun rises, creating a tapestry of memories and dreams competing for places in his mind. God made the human brain in such a wa...
Submitted to Contest #323
Sisyphus, Beans, Zucchini, and a Pumpkin“Who will help me plant the wheat?”“Not I… Not I… Not I… Not I.”-The Little Red HenHerb missed his time. He couldn’t forge his way through the Kentucky wilderness with Daniel Boone, roam the Plains with Buffalo Bill in search of life-sustaining game, or team up with Lewis and Clark to blaze a trail across an untamed land. With his fanciful imagery of the rugged individual vs. the land, he even sometimes (with an assist from Camus’ take on Sisyphus- the struggle is what gives our lives meaning) thought ...
Submitted to Contest #322
Winning“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”-Vince Lombardi It was a different time. Joey could walk six blocks in three different directions and usually find a pickup game on one of the baseball diamonds that had evolved naturally in empty fields over the years. He didn’t care where he played- infield, outfield, catcher, whatever. He pitched once in a while, though his “stuff” was limited to a pretty respectable straight ball. Position didn’t matter to this thirteen-year-old boy who had pictures of Aaron, Adcock, Matthews, and Sp...
Submitted to Contest #321
Peeling the Orange“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”-Anthony Weldon, The Court and Character of King James, 1651“This is pretty exciting, Roy, my first President’s address to Congress. I’m nervous.”“This is my 17th, and I still get goosebumps, Fred. It’s such an honor just to see him in person.”“Well, I’ll just follow your lead, you know, for when to clap and for how long.”“It’s not complicated, Fred. Basically, every time he says something, you clap. Stand up when I stand up and sit down when I do. You’ll be fine. And...
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