Fucked

I’m fucked and not in a good way The odds are 10,000 to one roughly nothing optimistic. I read the book the book we’re supposed to read or read it, but I don’t think it says what to do when these of the yards and maybe I spaced out during that section. I’m not sure maybe I should make like a dog and play dead wouldn’t work but that’s my best shot ever ever heard of a foxhole prayer. This is it in a literal sense. I have said my last prayer and on my camera is gone, so it’s that time. Got to Church last Sunday, right? Should a, could a, would a. Oh well. The only thing I could do was dig. They made us cut our fingernails. Not sure why uniformity maybe what the one question you should never ask a psychic? There’s a quote necessity is the mother of invention Too bad my mother is not here. Heard stories of a small group of soldiers using their intellect and war strategies to be large groups but never just one they teach us the person on her left and the person on the right is protecting us, but there’s no one on my left and guess who’s on my right? I’m fucked and not in a good way.

The minister isn’t here armies. Have ministers help us in these times, but he’s dead too. Maybe I could distract them too, but I don’t have any fireworks on me or a sound bomb or anything. All I have is a gun and five bullets and have a better chance on death row maybe I will be the story of the one who made it out, so I pray the fox will prayer. You know the one God if you just get me out of this, I’ll give up smoking drinking. I’ll go to church on Sundays. I’ll give money to the church. I’ll do good and give up bad. so I do square breathing because that’s the only thing I can do right now that might help breathe in four counts hold four counts breathe out four counts hold four counts breathe in four counts repeat I look around me my brother soldiers are laying there. Rigamortus is setting in I lay down and try to stiffen in my muscles. Feels like my bowels are going to move, but who cares? corpses stink anyway. I realize I’m breathing and my brothers aren’t a lot goes on in a soldiers’ mind during war and even during victory. Maybe I’ll be a small detail. They won’t notice. foxhole prayer. I haven’t told you what God I believe in, but it doesn’t matter because in a foxhole any God that’ll answer is the right God Jesus Allah Hashem. God is dog spelt backwards. So I lay there, and I hear the footsteps footsteps on dirt sound different than footsteps on grass. If you learn to listen as a soldier, our senses are more sensitive that can save our lives unless their senses are more sensitive in which case it can take mine, I’m totally fucked.

The protective gear starts clanking. It’s day. Dammit.V. If it was night, I’d have a better chance. Be difficult to see details. The footsteps crescendo the armor crescendo open my eyes and stare at grass and wait. Pray and wait. It sounds like a stampede of Buffalo, even though Buffalo have been extinct for …. Stay quiet, breathe as hollow as possible. Pray.

I quit hearing the footsteps or the footsteps slow down not sure which I’m sweating that will show them. I’m alive dammit. If only was raining, but it never rains here. I hear soldiers in generals talking in a foreign language. Our enemies have many languages and I don’t know any of them. I look at my chest to see if it’s moving and to see if they see if it’s moving. I don’t see them yet, but I hear them I hear horses neighing, too. Some kind of army vehicles. Their silence I see light not the light of death, but light strong, bright light then it goes away. Somebody kicked me and turns me over my face is in the dirt difficult to breathe that way, but not impossible then he hear them kicking other soldiers, spitting on them, punching them voiding on them and I hear nothing no cheers no war cries silence and I hear their armor clank. I hear Moore speaking in glossolalia. In an accurate walking in the same direction, slow walking me first then hose hitting the ground , and it decrescendos. What if they leave somebody behind to make sure they weren’t fooled by me? I can’t look around. I can’t get up cause I would give me a way but I can’t lay here with my brothers until nightfall. I move my eyeballs right and left but can just see the dirt under my nose if I getup and they’re there, I’m dead. I listen the way a dog listens hears a squirrel 100miles away. I don’t hear anything. I’m not afraid of bed sores calluses. But I get up slow. I still have five bullets and my gun. No one’s there the enemies kept going towards our land the villagers, including my wife and kids are totally fucked. There are a few that can help but they’ll die. I end up my pants and relieve myself. I look at my book pack for rest of food and find some and clean water how to survive 1000 soldiers? play dead like a dog. So now what? I’m like a be gone for pollen and come back and filed its hive destroyed, including the queen bee I could radio to warn somebody, but everyone with a. radio is dead. I’m totally fucked and not in a good way. So I walk toward the homeland slow if the enemy was stupid enough to miss a live person among dead soldiers maybe they didn’t figure out where the homeland was either and I could go back and tell people what happened; How everybody died. I pray to God the enemies went the wrong way, but it’s a foxhole prayer. We’re totally fucked and not in a good way.