Here's A, "DOG-Gone" Good Story That's Not, "Ruff!"

Here's A, "Dog-Gone" Good Story That's Not, "Ruff!"

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived an all black dog named Snowball. He was the runt out of 9 puppies and since it was his mamma's 3rd bunch of puppies, she had flat run out of names to call all those babies. His daddy didn't care about names because he was also the run of his trashy bunch of puppies. That's why they were referred to as a, "litter." Life was not easy for a dog with that kind of weird name. All the other dogs were constantly making fun of him saying things like, "Where did you get a dumb name such as that? From a, 'dumb'-waiter?" and, "What was wrong with your parents, did they think you wouldn't notice?" and other hurtful lines such as that. Then they'd laugh. Snowball also laughed, but when he got home, he balled like a puppy, since that's what he was. That happened so frequently he ended up crying real tars every day, which was actually quite a trick because dogs don't have any tear ducts. Even his own brothers and sisters would tease him about his name. Then they'd whisper to the other dogs, look at him and laugh, so he was sure they were laughing at him. That made for a really hard life which ended up being some kind of, "Ruff!"

When his owners sent him to obedience school so he could learn how to do tricks and things, his teachers would read his name, then even they would laugh. That made it all the more hard on the puppy.

Finally after being teased by his own brothers and sisters who were all really trashy animals, (that's why they were in the same, "litter)." He finally left them while they were still laughing at him. Whoever said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," obviously didn't know what they were talking about since words really do hurt. Anyway, while all the other puppies were still laughing at him, he ran to get away so he couldn't hear their jeering any more. That meant he had to go really far away. That was when he saw a man coming towards him. He was so upset, he just sat there to see what that guy wanted. Then as he got up closer he said, "My! Aren't you a funny-looking animal! I've never seen a dog with pink and purple spots before! You could make me some money! Now, come with me, my little k-9 friend!" Then the man scooped him up in a net and put him on the truck with several other weird-looking animals like a cat with 6 legs, a parrot who wouldn't stop talking or singing, a ferret who kept running around on his back-legs, a giraffe who had a big hippo's head, a monkey who played Flight Of The Bumble Bee on an organ and a fish that loved to swim on the top of the water so as the man put Snowball in the back of his truck with all the other animals who each had something weird about them, he called his agent and told him that he had picked up a real show-stopper. Then he put him in a small cage which wasn't even big enough for him to turn around in and said, "Welcome to the Big-Time, my little fir-ball! You're going to make me a really wealthy man soon!" Then he laughed a right evil-sounding laugh and wrung his hands. Yet there was no answer to that ringing. It was quite obvious he had some really mal-intentions on his filthy mind for that little extremely special animal who was really unique.

When they got where they were going, which was a relief for the poor dog because it meant he could, "relieve himself," since he didn't want to do that in such a confined environment. Then the trainer cracked a whip at him. Snowball didn't have a clue what that meant so he just wined and got low like he was expecting the man to beet him with a rod which had knives sticking out of it. When the trainer cracked it again, Snowball got scared since he felt like that jerk was about to beet him with a bat which had spikes sticking out of it. The men hit him over the head several times. When Snowball cried since he didn't know what the man wanted him to do, that jerk hit him with a bat which nearly knocked him out cold. Then he got mad, said several un-Christian words and stalked out of the room saying he would kill that animal because he was so dumb and untainible.

Then he literally threw poor Snowball into a room, then tied him up so tight that a drum would have been mighty loose by comparison. It made Snowball whimper, but the man came back, punched him and kicked him several times. That made him yip in pain, so that jerk put a muzzle on him so that he wouldn't have to hear him. Then he told the other guy if he didn't do well tomorrow, he'd beet him to within a mere milometer of his life. Snowball knew there was no way he could do any better because he was already doing his best. Then the other guy said, "You can always find another dog who's more talented then that stupid one there. Just kill that one. He's no use to us whatsoever."

That made Snowball try to hide, but there was no place to go. When the man came out, frowning and holding a gun with a silencer on it he said, "Dog, you've caused me enough of a headache! That ends now!"

As he raised his gun up to shoot, suddenly a bolt of lightening stuck the man which turned him into a Crispy Critter. The strangest thing about it was that there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The other weird thing was that it happened inside the jerk's house. That kind of thing only could happen in Danville. The bolt also knocked a hole in the wall so he could get and be free. He trotted happily down the street. Yet that was when something even cooler happened, it was called a car stopped and some 9 year-old boy got out. He ran to Snowball, who was so surprised he just stood there. Then the boy put lead him to their car and opened the door. When Snowball jumped in, he got a great feeling of love from that little boy the way he'd never had before. As he got in the car after lots of hugs and scratches around his ears and tummy which made his foot go crazy, he felt like he had found a good home at last. That night the little boy said, "Let's see now, what would be a good name to call you? It's got to be a really fantastic one!"

"It's Snowball!" replied the dog while wagging his tail profusely. That made the boy shout, "I knew you were a special dog! Now, I could tell it when I saw you!" Later Snowball learned his name was Brian so they went to American Idle and won it. Later they got a lifetime contract for singing and telling jokes. Also since Snowball was such a magic dog, he lived forever and never got old. Even after his owners passed away there was always another family who loved him and took care of him. Later he won American Idle with his singing and America's Got Talent with his dancing and other abilities. So like the best-written stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

"THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!!!"

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The end. By, Cuz Roye.