You are not alone

‘-Ever wondered how it would be to have a superpower? What would you use it for? Would you save the world, or rule it?-’

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That message was on a plaque by the entrance of a sterile office space in the garment district. The supergroup meets every Wednesday at 8 pm. Mind you, this is not an elite team of superheroes that would join forces to fight some intergalactic villain. Members here are struggling to come to terms with their extraordinary abilities, without.. You know, destroying our world.

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Those that crawl into the rooms vary from week to week. They are all reminded at each meeting to ‘-Keep coming back, you don’t have to dwell on this journey alone anymore-’ but they either get abducted by one of the alphabet agencies or fall into an irreversible catastrophe that, to no surprise, gets them 86ed.

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The gathering began with the designated lead reading the meeting script, while everyone sat in squeaky foldable chairs arranged in a circle. They awkwardly faced one another and did their best to avoid eye contact.

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“Ultra power, grant us serenity, to accept the circumstances we cannot change, give us the courage to change the propensities that we face, and Sa-”

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-A confused newcomer barged into the room with a bewildered expression. He froze by the door, regretting being late, for interrupting the meeting in progress, and wanting to crawl back under the rock he came from.

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“- Sagacity to realize that we are enough the way we are.” The group's leader concluded the opening prayer and noticed the newbie, who had one foot in and one foot out the door.

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“Hello there. Are you here for the meeting? Please- sit. Join us.”

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As the newcomer wavered and remained planted in place, three other newcomers muscled through, nudging him into the meeting room. These fellows looked like trouble, but this meeting is for everyone: No judgment for those who want healing.

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“So, is this the superheroes anonymous meeting? -cause’ I don’t see any main character energy from any of y’all, am I right? Hahaha!” The big one with the booming voice giggled and attempted to get high-fives from the associates he had come with. They impassively sneered at him, as he promptly responded with glowing middle fingers.

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With eyebrows raised, the meeting organizer cleared his throat and gently corrected the boisterous one. “Close. Actually, this gathering is for A.S.P.A... We are known as the Adults with Superpowers Anonymous. Please- Sit, sit.”

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While the welcome committee greeted the rough-edged newcomers, the anxious one who initially entered tried to surreptitiously reopen the door to leave.

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“Pardon me, are you here for our group as well?” the kind meeting representative asked. With his gaze planted to the ground, the young man reluctantly nodded. He was then ushered to sit at any place he preferred. Surveying the oddball misfits around him, the nervous kid decided to sit next to the host.

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“Swell then. Let’s get this meeting rolling, shall we? This gathering is for those who are suffering to manage their superpowers while living in this realm and yearning for a non-destructive solution to their management. Now, could we all take a brief moment to introduce ourselves and the superpower we struggle with? Let us go popcorn style, and when finished, do be kind to pick the next person with their hand up, please.”

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Some eager hands went straight up, for a chance to speak.

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“Greetings to you all, my name is Ben. My superpower is the ability to disappear and appear at any place I decide to go. My therapist claims that I am a master dissociator and that I am simply running away from my past. Um.. However, I haven’t misused my powers in 9 years. Ok, enough about me. Next, I am going to choose... Mal to go.”

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The second speaker annoyingly lowered his crimson hand, glaring at Ben. He then began his introduction vociferously: “Hey freaks. The name is Mal. My powers consist of being able to move objects with my mind. I am also known to become consumed in my rage... Then I would freely manipulate, exploit, extort… My arrogant therapist believed I am simply ‘- driven by revenge-’. Fool that he was! I decapitated him and nearly took out his planet for that remark, so… The galactic courts forced me to show up here. Anyway, I haven’t used my power for ill in… 12 days. Next.. Chairman, you ought to go.”

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The meeting coordinator nodded approvingly. “ Haha, Chairman. Thanks, big fella. Yes, I am Wan. My special ability is being able to mimic anyone. I have become quite the accomplished chameleon, but I was starting to forget who I really was - until I found this program. Turns out, I am enough just the way I am. We all are! I haven’t used my powers in 8 months. Okay, New guy, would you like to give it a go?”

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Caught off guard, the reluctant newcomer mumbled and stuttered in a panic. Right when he was about to utter his first word, the larger-than-life troublemaker interjected by knocking his chair across the room to stand up. His full height nearly smashed through the ceiling in the process.

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“Right. These fucking chairs are uncomfortable! This meeting is a bunch of bullshit!! You are all a bunch of pussies!!!.. Ok, now that those are off my chest, I’m Cain. I don’t hide, I don’t blame, I don’t pretend like you losers. Oh, and I don’t lose! My unmatched ability is just pure, unadulterated, destructive power. Urmm... But, my helmet, it recently got broken, so I’m stuck in this shit hole!”

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The entire room was uncomfortable with Cain’s aggressive energy, … Except for Mal. Perhaps he saw a bit of himself in this cantankerous new member. While tapping his horns on his head, he encouraged Cain to pick the next person to do the honors.

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“You’re up, Fuckface!” Cain slapped the back of the gentleman sitting next to him.

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With a chiding tsk-tsk, a fellow with a green and gold etched long coat began, “ I keep telling you, you are not to interact with me this way, you oversized imbecile.” Cracking his knuckles and adjusting his neck, he continued with his introduction with a big sigh.

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“I really don’t wish to be here… I suppose, however, it is better than the void I was stuck in recently. I have been known as the god of mischief, the god of illusion. Anything I think of, I could bring to fruition. Just like that thorny Redman over there, I nearly collapsed planets and the multi-ver.. You know what, I shouldn’t be talking about all of this. I don’t even want to think about any of it. Thinking and feeling get me in trouble, and others around me would hurt for it.”

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There was silence in the room, and many members nodded in resonance. Wan, the meeting coordinator, took a mindful pause before responding with empathy. “ Glad you are here with us, brother. Now… We have the last two remaining fellows. Who would like to introduce themselves?”

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Throughout the meeting, the sophisticatedly garbed bigshot with impeccable designer stubble has been pinching the crinkled crease where his perfectly trimmed eyebrows meet his nose. The most perfunctory facial expression was unhidden for all to see. Clapping his hands, he stood and got to the center of the meeting room, like he was about to give a very self-centered TED talk.

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“Many know me as a visionary, a genius, a hero that saved the world from the likes of you idiots seven times over. That said, I am a constant skeptic, the know-it-all, the overprivileged, Nepo-baby, narcissist, a validation whore, a catastrophizer, a micro manager with unrelenting standards, an unreliable friend, an untrustworthy lover, an unavailable husband, and all in all a terrible person that’s a necessary evil in this day and age. I make hard sacrifices to keep everyone in line, so the rest of the galaxy doesn’t have to! You’re welcome. Oh- and my name is.. Ton.. You know what? You all better know who I am. I’ve written books and given countless interviews about my universe-saving ordeals. Google it. I will now pass my time to the kid who hasn’t said a damn word so far. What say you- Champ?”

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The introverted young man clammed up again, uneasy with the spotlight. He shook, with his fists clenched so tightly that blood began dripping- due to his fingers digging into his palms. As sweat also poured from his forehead, the boy attempted again to gather courage to say anything… Yet he was unable to vocalize even a whimper.

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Not wanting to have anyone feel cornered, Wan decided to gently ease the last newcomer. “No pressure, brother. Just a hello is okay- Or not. We welcome you into this safe space either way-”

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“I..I..Um... I’d like a chance to claim my seat.” The chairman was pleased that this newbie finally felt safe enough to open up to the group. With his open palm, he gently motioned for the boy to proceed.

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“Ok. Yeah. So, I’m Rob, and I just want to be normal. I don’t want what they gave me anymore. It only made my dark passenger even more powerful. I am just afraid the next time I black out, the other half might just.. You know…Swallow everything into the abyss.”

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Everyone except for the genius Tycoon all nodded. They all have been there, or have experienced those around them suffer a similar demise. Rob began to sob uncontrollably as decades of unhealed trauma flooded out.

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“I thought if I could become invincible, I could be useful and be a hero, become ‘someone’. I could then save people in need, since I wasn’t able to save my Mom from the drunk she married when I was a kid.” There were audible grunts and sighs of assent from around the room.

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“-And.. Now that I have this infinite power, all it has been is a fucking curse: I am not in control of my own thoughts, my actions…I don’t even know how to feel anymore. Losing the sense of pain, everything else is just.. Numb.” There were numerous nods and finger snaps from the group. Rob was encouraged to continue.

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“This darker side of me is consuming me every day, and it tells me such awful things I intend to do. I went to get help, but then I was abducted and used as a bioweapon... And and... I wanted to just end it all, before it’s too late… but I cannot die. I’ve tried, believe me. I am really stuck here, and I don’t know what to do!”

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Surprisingly, the most rambunctious ones really resonated with Rob’s share. Mal hasn’t cried this much since he was left for dead at the bottom of a pit. Cain was also balling, as if his own compartmentalized trauma stories were just revealed. From all around the room, Rob heard kind encouragement.

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“Keep comin’ back, Son.”

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“You’re not alone on this journey, brother.”

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“We will take our superpowers one day at a time, Rob.”

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“Glad you’re here!”

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Unlike every other place in the world, nobody in this room batted an eye at what he shared. Gradually, Rob’s terminal uniqueness began to dissipate just a bit. The meeting progressed with discussion topics, followed by 5-minute shares by each member. It was still a fish out of water type of experience for Rob, but he noticed that from the ball of white-knuckled fists he had earlier, now both palms were resting on his blood-stained lap.

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Wan began to conclude the hour-long meeting and invited everyone to stand, hold hands in a circle, and recite the A.S.P.A serenity prayer together. Afterwards, each member shook hands, hugged, and exchanged contact information. Newcomers received a 1-day sobriety wrist band and a welcome decaf pourover.

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Something strange occurred amongst the super fellows while they were conversing; Everyone but Ben and Rob began to flicker, then gradually faded away. Rob was in shock! He feared that he unintentionally used his powers to trap the meeting members into his void. After all, it wasn’t the first time Rob’s abilities made people around him disappear.

However, Ben reassured the newcomer. “Don’t worry about them. They are just all part of us. You see, we are able to project our maladaptive schemas, but to be honest- I have never met another being that could manifest them so viscerally as you have.”

The newcomer took a big sigh of relief. It might just be that this peculiar meeting could finally help Rob harness his powers in a more balanced way. For the first time in a long time, the newcomer felt a sense of hope. A path forward. Even so, he just needed to ask the recovery guru one thing: “When does it get easier?”

With his arms crossed above his stomach, Ben bellowed a hearty laugh. “Easy, it will never be. However, life will get better. I promise you!”

That didn’t make any sense for Rob. What kind of oxymoronic thing is BETTER, if not easier? He sensed his frustrations bubbling upwards, and in doing so, Cain already manifested outside the hallway, screaming that the elevator was ‘FUCKING taking forever’ to come to the 7th floor. He would rip open the telescopic elevator door any second now...

“-Here is how I got started in this program-” As Ben began to fill in Rob with his question, he gently manifested Mal outside to help de-escalate Cain/Wreaking ball of rage from inflicting damage to the building.

“Unlike other galaxies or realms, here on Earth, we only have 24 hours in a day. Without using our powers, we are only in control of this very moment. “

The newcomer scoffs, and the well-dressed Bigshot manifests to intervene to school the recovery guru on how ridiculous all of this is. His argument would always be -’We are in control, if we prepare for it!’

“This will be hard to hear, but when we attempt to control every action, every narrative, be at every place all the time.. That is not sustainable. In doing so, we are burning the candle from both sides. Eventually, we will slip. We will then LOSE ourselves to that abyss.”

Everyone became quiet. The arrogant tycoon shook his head and left the room to join the other two in the hallway. Ben knew how hard it was even for him to accept what he couldn’t change, either. He gently explained to the disgruntled newcomer about the paradox of recovery.

“From that sense of powerlessness, instead of continuing the vicious cycle over and over again, we can finally choose a new path: We surrender the parts that no longer suit us, in order to truly win.”

Rob didn’t fully understand the recovery paradox just yet, but he hasn’t felt this much relief in a long time. He finally felt seen and heard. He felt safe. Before closing the meeting room, Ben mentioned one more thing to the newcomer:

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“All beings carry a destructive abyss within. To prevent those parts from consuming us, we must identify them and accept that the hurt from our past created them for our survival. Through lived wisdom, we can forgive ourselves... We can practice unconditional, loving relationships with those Schemas. That is where the real healing is, Rob. We no longer have to cope with the absolutes.”

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Rob nodded. When asked if he would attend next week’s meeting, he smiled-

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“Yeah, I’ll .. No, We..We’ll keep coming back.”