Who Speaks to Death

Hey

Hello, who is this?

an old friend.

I’m sorry, I’m still not sure who you are.

I’m afraid I’ve lost touch with rather a lot 

of old friends.

Do you have the right number?

This is George McGregor.

i know

And you are?

dont worry, youll remember me.

Could I get a hint, by any chance?

sure

u never saw me in person

I’m sorry, I’m very confused. Are you quite sure

that you don’t have the wrong number?

yes

i dont make that kind if mistakes

*of

In that case, would you mind giving me

a bit more to go on?

For instance, what’s your name?

i have a lot of names

which one do u want?

One that I would know.

sorry, that doesnt narrow it down much

ur going to have to be more specific

Well, how about where I met you?

u first met me when ur mother died

then we were good friends during the war,

even if u didnt know it at the time

All my friends from the war died.

And I don't believe any of their ghosts

would have grammar that bad.

No offence.

none taken

gotta keep up with the times

anyway, im not a gohst

*ghost

Who are you, then?

You say I know you from the war,

but I’m quite sure I don’t.

What regiment were you in?

none

Were you in the medical corps?

Or staff?

i was everywhere

I don’t see how that’s possible.

If this is a prank, I assure you I do not appreciate it,

and I will be blocking your number in future.

no, this isnt a prank

Well if it is not, then would you mind telling me

who, exactly, you are??

im not very good at exact

but this might help

every soldier knew me

on every side of every war

Ah.

Yes, that does make things clearer.

i thought it might

do u understand now?

I believe I do.

But how do I know it’s you?

ur mother died in her bed at 9pm on 

the 15th of may, 1938. Ur wife died during 

the london blitz, sometime around midnight, 

sept 22nd 1943.

believe me?

Yes, I do.

Why are you texting me?

Is it my time yet?

If so, why not tell me in person?

no, ur fine

i wont come for u for a few

years yet

I’m sorry, I don’t understand.

its a lonely line of work

i wanted someone to talk to

i thought u might get it

If that’s all, then yes, I do.

i can go if u like

No, it’s all right.

Out of interest, why me, specifically?

dunno

u were there

i was bored

thought it was worth a try

I see.

If you don’t mind me asking, how 

old are you?

too old for a job like this

it never ends

no holidays, no breaks

hell, i dont even get medical coverage

benefits are crap too

I can imagine that it gets rather taxing.

However, benefits?

I didn’t think that your particular sort

of employment would have those.

yeah, well

modern age and all that

i think i technically fit the requirements of

like 3 different unions

kinda ironic, when its the capitalist machine

thats always given me the most work

Really? Not war?

war is the busiest time of all

basically rush hour

capitalism takes them slowly, but its

constant

ppl die of starvation every day

lack of medical care, alcoholism,

dumb things like that

Sickness, too, I would assume?

yeah, but that tends to take the rich along

with the poor.

like, its always worse for them, cause they 

cant afford medicine and stuff like that, but 

hey, at least its a bit more equal

u cant pay off sickness

Would I be right in inferring that

 you are, in fact, a socialist?

almost

ive always thought of myself of more of

a humanist

ironic

im not even human

What are you, then?

Pardon my curiosity, but one doesn't 

get to talk to you every day.

nah its fine

idek what i am tho

its kinda confusing

I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure what

“idek” means…

oh sorry

i dont even know

i guess im sorta… made of ur ideas?

like, humanitys concepts of me?

that doesnt make much sense, sorry

No, I think I understand what you mean.

You are a personification of our  

ideas of you.

yeah pretty much

tho im not really a person, so

im not sure about personification

Well, it’s the basic idea.

yep.

i guess thats why i have so many names

1 from every culture, pretty much

Are some more accurate than others?

ya for sure

the whole grim reaper business for example

its just silly.

for one thing, i dont carry a sickle

Which, would you say, fits the best?

Not sure about fits the best, but there’s this one

book called the golden compass

i like me in that one.

the author’s phillip pullman, if ur curious

I’ve read it; it’s quite good.

Out of all of your names, though, 

what would be your favourite?

Personally?

um

i dunno

no ones ever asked me before

and tbh most of them are wayyyy off

“Tbh”?

to be honest

Ah.

i guess...

idk

my favourite would prob be smth like

“the beginning”

it sounds so much less hopeless than 

the rest of my names

I see.

That makes sense.

This is entirely non sequitur, but have

you read The Book Thief?

You are, allegedly, the narrator.

huh

nope, i havent

thanks for the recommendation.

Do let me know how accurate it is,

if and when you do read it.

i will

do u mind if i text again?

sometimes,,,, its hard to do my job

w/out someone to talk to.

Of course.

Anytime.

Though I may not reply very quickly

if you text late at night.

haha, that’s fine

thank u

its been a while since i could talk 

to someone

i scare most ppl

When one has lived as long as I have,

you become much less intimidating.

heh

good point

One last question, if you don’t mind.

In human terms, are you male or female?

technically neither

but out of the 2, who but a woman

could bear all the grief of the world

and keep doing her job?

Of course.

Thank you.

no, thank u

for the chat and the 

book recommendation

ill check it out

Do. I found it quite enjoyable.

i will

bye

Goodbye, Death.