The Long Game

2/22/2021

Dear Diary,

I think I met my future husband today! Or maybe I didn’t. Fifteen is probably way too young to be thinking that way. There was a new student at school today and I was the one in charge of showing him around and taking him to all his classes. His name’s Cole Emmerson and he’s a freshman, like me. I thought it would be really awkward, I’ve never been good at talking to boys, or strangers. For some reason I couldn’t shut up and I kept asking him random questions on our walks to class. It made it less awkward and he was a good sport and answered most of my questions. We have most of the same classes, and the same lunch period, so he sat with me and Victoria. I learned so much about him, and I’ve only known him for one day. He’s so cute, with wavy brown hair that’s the perfect length. He’s not that tall, which is okay because I’m not that tall. He plays baseball, and is planning on trying out for the team at our school. He wants to make varsity, but I don’t think he’ll make it, freshmen rarely make the team. He’s pretty confident he’ll make it though. Apparently he’s really good and scouts or something have been looking at him. I don’t really know what that means but I think it’s good. I like watching baseball, but I don’t really understand it. I’ve got to go now, mom’s yelling about dinner. I’ll keep you posted on the whole situation with Cole.

Until next time, Jade

5/13/2021

Dear Diary,

I have just had the best three months of my life! Cole and I are best friends now and it’s amazing! We hang out basically everyday unless he has a baseball game or practice. He made it on the varsity team, and apparently he’s the first freshman to do so. Victoria started dating him midway through the season, about three weeks ago. It was really hard at first because she knew I liked him and then she went and started dating him. We worked through it though, which is great. Now I get to hangout with my two best friends at the same time without worrying about them not liking each other. I wasn’t surprised when they started dating. Cole is the superstar baseball player and Victoria is one of the best cheerleaders, despite being a freshman. Obviously Cole would never go for me. I’m not talented, I’m not hot, or even pretty. I spend a lot of time reading, and I’m not athletic at all. Of course he’d want to date my gorgeous, talented, athletic best friend. I should just be glad they want to hang out with me and that Cole is willing to be my friend even when Victoria’s not around. He’s such a good baseball player and won MVP of the season. He plays great at second base, according to the coaches, and he’s on base all the time, which is good. During the championship game he got the winning hit, which is apparently a really big deal. He told me Washington State University is thinking about signing him and giving him a full ride scholarship depending on how he plays next year. Scouts have been at almost all of his games, which is crazy. I’ve got to go, Cole, Victoria and I are going to go play laser tag.

Until next time, Jade

11/1/2021

Dear Diary,

Happy day after Halloween!!!! It’s been awhile and so much has happened in my life. So far sophomore year is going pretty great. Cole and Victoria are still together, which is great. Even better, Cole introduced me to one of his teammates and I really like him. His name is Jackson and he’s a junior, so a little bit older than me. He can drive, which is great because I won’t get my license until January. Cole set us up at the beginning of October and ever since then the four of us have been basically inseparable. For Halloween last night we went to a party, which kinda sucked. I don’t really like parties, there’s too many people. But Jackson wanted to go, so we went and I stayed the whole time. Cole and Victoria were there, but they left pretty quick. I wanted to go but I felt like I had to stay. Jackson’s older, and I want to impress him. I want him to think I’m more mature than other sophomore girls. He’s hot too, which is an added bonus. He has gorgeous blonde hair, and he’s tall. And he wants to date me! Me! Not some older, hotter girl! I have to do whatever it takes to make sure he keeps dating me. I can’t go back to being single while Victoria and Cole are dating. I hated being the third wheel all summer. Victoria never wanted to hang out with just me, and she never let Cole hang out with just me. I think she thinks I’m going to steal her boyfriend because I liked him first. If anything I should worry about her stealing my boyfriend. The four of us go to the school fields all the time because Cole always wants to practice and get better. Jackson just plays for fun. He’s good and he enjoys playing, but he doesn’t view it as his future. He still practices with Cole, at least most of the time. Sometimes he’ll just watch Cole while chatting with Victoria. Cole’s started giving me pointers so I can play with him. I’m not great, but at least I’m trying, unlike Victoria. She either watches or practices for cheer or chats with Jackson. She really wants to be the cheer captain next year, so she’s practicing extra hard to impress the coaches. Life is good, and I can’t wait for the rest of sophomore year.

Until next time, Jade

5/13/2022

Dear Diary,

I can barely see through my tears. This is the worst day of my life and I don’t think I ever want to leave my house again. Today I saw Jackson kissing another girl. I don’t know who she is, other than that she’s on the cheer squad with Victoria. It was the most devastating moment of my life. I thought that me and Jackson were going to be together for longer, and I thought that we were happy. Apparently I was wrong on all accounts. I went to see Jackson before his game and we were supposed to meet right outside the locker room. When I walked around the corner I saw him kissing another girl. I only saw the back of the girl, but she was wearing a cheerleading uniform. I remember gasping and running away while he called after me but I didn’t want to talk to him. I really want to tell someone what happened but Victoria has been ignoring my calls and texts all afternoon. I haven’t told Cole yet and I might not. He needs to focus on baseball and his future, not his girl best friend. Jackson hasn’t stopped calling and I haven’t answered any of his calls. We were together for months and he never indicated that he wanted to break up with me or anything. I thought that he actually liked me and we would date for at least another year or two. I feel like my heart has been broken in two and I never want to go back to school or see him again. I’m gonna go cry some more, I can barely see through my tears and writing this was really hard.

Jade

7/4/2022

Dear Diary,

Happy Fourth. I think this is my new least favorite holiday. I talked to Jackson. He told me that he really did like me and the kiss had been a fluke. He told me that he wanted to date me, not the other girl. And yet he had kissed someone else, and I found out who. I have never been so depressed in my entire life, and so lonely. I thought that I had the perfect friend group. The four of us were great. Me, Jackson, Cole and Victoria. The bookish nerd, the athletic jock, the pretty cheerleader and the goofball who was so amazing. Two couples that somehow fit together perfectly. Except the couples were all wrong. Jackson wanted Victoria, and Victoria wanted Jackson. They kissed each other. They had cheated on me and Cole. It’s 10 p.m and there are fireworks going off everywhere. And yet they don’t bring me joy. Victoria was my best friend. I’ve known her since first grade when I told her I liked her shoes because we had the same ones. I’ve spent every fourth of July with her and her family. And now I don’t even talk to her. She dated the guy I liked and then kissed the one I was dating. I feel so hurt and so betrayed. I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend. The last month of school was hell. I suddenly lost my best friend, my boyfriend and my other best friend. Cole and I still talked but it felt off. I have two months until the start of junior year and I’m about to start begging my mom to homeschool me. I’m going to try to go to bed now.

See ya later, Jade.

11/10/2022

Dear Diary,

I hung out with Cole today. We haven’t spent much time together since the breakups but today he asked me to help him practice. We went to the field at the school and I helped him work on his fielding. It was awkward at first. We spent the summer completely out of contact and we only chat during the classes we have together. We talked about how weird it was watching Victoria and Jackson together. It’s crazy that we once spent so much time with them, and now neither of us even talk to them. He told me he signed with the University of Washington after his season last year. He has two seasons left and the better he plays the bigger his scholarship will be. I know he needs the money, with his parents being divorced and how much money their divorce took. I told him that I’ll always be around to help him practice, even though I’m not the best ballplayer. He laughed and told me that he missed talking to me over the past couple months. I missed him too. I missed his laugh, and his sarcastic comments and the joy that he played baseball with. No matter what happens, he always seems so happy when he’s on the field. When we finished up we agreed that Victoria and Jackson didn’t get to dictate our lives and we are still going to be friends. It won’t be the same as it was, but it will still be good because we were always friends.

See you later, Jade

5/19/2023

Dear Diary,

Today was the best day ever! Like, it was so good! Cole and I have been getting closer ever since that day in November when we played ball together. We hang out at school and I go to all of his games and I help him practice. I’ve actually gotten a lot better, and I understand the game so much better. But back to why today was the best day ever. I watched Cole play in the championship game. He was the leadoff batter, and he made some great plays at second base. There were some major league scouts in the crowd today, specifically to watch Cole play. I have never seen him play as well as he did today. Afterwards he went out with the team to celebrate and then he came over to my house, which shocked me. He wasn’t supposed to come over, but he did. He just showed up, still in his uniform, and told my mom he needed to talk to me. He asked me to be his girlfriend! He said that he thought I was super pretty when he first met me but he did think that I’d ever date a jock like him. But over the past couple of months he realized just how much I meant to him and that he wanted to date me and see if there was a future for us. I almost fainted when he asked me, I was so excited. I just stood there, frozen, while he waited for an answer. After a minute I finally said yes and he got the biggest smile on his face. It was bigger than when he had won the championship earlier, which is how I knew he was happy. I didn’t care that we were in my living room, and my mom was probably listening to every word of our conversation. I kissed Cole for the first time. I ran my hands through his silky brown hair. I finally got to know what it was like to have his hands on my waist and his lips on mine. Over the two years I had known him I had spent hours dreaming of kissing his lips and now I finally knew what it was like. I never thought that I’d get to be this close to him. When we kissed it was electric, and I felt tingles all up and down my arms. It was the moment I knew I was in love with Cole James Emmerson, and I would always be.

Until next time, Jade

6/15/2024

Dear Diary,

I just had the best year of my life. Cole and I are so happy together and I am so thankful that I get to be with him. We spent all of senior year doing the senior things and spending time together. During his senior night I cried. It broke my heart knowing that he wasn’t going to play on our high school field again. Four years passed in the blink of an eye. Freshmen me never would have guessed that this is what graduation day would be like for me. I thought that Victoria would be by my side, and there wouldn’t be any guy. A part of me misses Victoria, and wishes she was by my side. It feels wrong, graduating without her. I never thought I would graduate without her. But I also never thought I would date a baseball player, or any type of athlete. And yet here I am, supporting my boyfriend as he becomes a Pittsburgh Pirate. I can’t wait to see what life holds for the two of us, but I know that no matter what happens we will be together forever. At least I hope that I will always be with the guy I fell in love with at first sight. This feels like the end of an era, and the beginning of something greater.

Signing off, probably forever, Jade

11/2/2030

Dear Diary,

My goodness, it’s been a long time since I used you. Six years to be exact. So much has happened in the past six years, it would take hours for me to tell you everything. Cole and I got engaged in 2026 and then married in 2027. It was the most stressful year of my life and the best all at the same time. Dating and then marrying an MLB player is not as easy as I thought it would be. He is constantly travelling and can’t always chat. Baseball has always been his priority, but I know that he loves me, and our two-year-old daughter, Lillian. After playing for the Pittsburgh Pirates he was traded to the Seattle Mariners, which was the best news ever. I was able to go back home to Washington state. We now live in the state that we first met in and fell in love in. He plays for the team we used to watch every season. Tonight was one of the best nights of my life. I watched the love of my life hit the winning run in during the final game of the World Series. Lillian got to watch her daddy become the MVP of the World Series. I have spent countless hours cheering my husband on and practicing baseball with him. And in that moment I knew it paid off and he would never forget tonight. Neither of us will. It took awhile, and a lot of ups and downs, but we’ve made it full circle. Baseball brought us together and it continues to do so.

Goodbye, one last time, Jade