Who’d Expect It?

I never would.

I mean, who’d go into a post office and expect them to be out of stamps? Not me.

Or go to the DMV, get great service and walk out in twenty minutes? Never.

If you went into a tire store, would you expect to meet and fall in love with the most beautiful woman ever? The love of your life? I didn’t expect that. But it happened. True story.

I never expected that the guy who sold me my car would include one odd sized tire.

And when I got stopped for drunk driving, I didn’t expect the cop to let me go. But he accepted my explanation about the odd sized tire. Nice guy.

Who expects a minor variation in tire size to make such a difference?

Would you?

If I wanted to drive drunk, I’d be sure all my tires matched.

So, I go the tire store. To buy a tire, right? And there she is, standing behind the counter, a veritable goddess. Who would expect that?

No one else was around. How could that be? I’d have expected a throng of adoring worshipers. Or at least tire customers. But she stood alone in those humble surroundings with the air shimmering around her.

Me and her. A dream come true.

I stepped up. When her beautiful eyes took me in, my thoughts jumbled. I almost forgot how to speak.

Dazzled, I said, “You sell tires?”

“Only round ones. Just got a shipment.”

“What colors?”

She seemed amused. “Any color you want, long as it’s black.”

Yup. Love at first sight. I knew she felt it too.

“When does your shift end? I’ll buy you a coffee.”

She glanced at the half pot on the coffee maker.

“I’ll want dinner at five-thirty. Not coffee.”

“Of course. What food do you like?”

We were so in sync. She named my favorite restaurant.

I said, “I live there. I’m surprised I’ve never seen you.”

“I’ve seen you… Always at the same table in the bar, glued to the TV. By yourself.”

“Oh… uhm… I’ve been waiting for you.”

“But I’m not on TV…”

I felt I’d known her my whole life.

She gave me her card with her phone number and address.

And her name! “Alexa…! Pleased to meet you.” I offered her my hand and made a cursory bow. “I’ll pick you up at…?”

“Six…” She released my hand. “And who will be picking me up?”

“Me… I will…” I gasped at my ignorance. “Oh, hi… I’m Skippy.”

“Skippy…?” She smiled.

“Last name, Roper… Long story. My friends call me Davis.”

“I’ll see you at six, then, Davis. Or do you prefer, Mr. Roper?”

“Davis works. You will see me at six sharp.”

I practically skipped out of the shop.

When I went to Alexa’s door, her father let me in. He directed me to sit in their modest living room. He and his brother sized me up.

Her father said, “So, you’re my future son-in-law?”

Who expects such a question? Alexa and I hadn’t even kissed yet.

I guessed it was my turn to speak. “I assure you, sir, my intentions are completely honorable. I need to talk to Alexa about setting the date.”

Her father said, “I’ll do that…”

Alexa’s uncle narrowed his eyes. “What kind of name is ‘Skippy’? Where you from? Who would name a baby…?”

“Skippy?” I suppressed a chuckle. “Oh, that’s a nickname. My given name is…”

Her father interrupted me. “Alexa will be home by ten.”

I glanced at my watch. “Of course. Completely doable. Expect her to be home by then. I’ll treat her like I would my own mother.”

Enraged, Alexa’s father stood. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The uncle held him back.

Reaching up in defense, I said, “I didn’t mean anything bad, sir… I love my mother… I mean, I treat Mom with respect. I’d never hurt Alexa.”

Calming down a bit, her father settled into his chair.

We sat in silence until Alexa entered. Her sunny mood evaporated some of the gloom.

“Oh, Davis, you’re here,” she said. “I see you got acquainted with Dad and Uncle Duke…”

I said, “Yes. They’re treating me like family.” They nodded in silence.

“Okay… We should go.”

“Sounds good. You look great!”

“Thanks…”

I glanced at the others to see if that triggered a reaction.

Alexa and I moved to the door. She waved to her father and Duke. “Bye… See you later.”

Looking glum, they didn’t respond.

We got into my car. I revved the engine and pulled into traffic.

Alexa looked at me. “Did something happen back there?”

“Your dad is very protective of you.”

“Oh, don’t give that another thought. He’s just testing.”

“What? A nuclear bomb?”

“What did you expect? That’s my dad.”

“Alexa, he’s setting the date for our wedding.”

“He likes you. Acceptance is a good thing. What’d you expect?”

“Before we’ve had a single date? What if you don’t like me?”

“Silly… Like that would happen. Not possible.” She touched my shoulder and smiled.

I had to say it. “Look, Alexa… I think you’re amazing. But…”

She put her hand up. “Stop. You’re getting cold feet already?”

I didn’t expect her to change the subject. “I had frost bite when I was a kid. But what’s that got…?”

She slumped into her seat. “I can’t believe this. My fiancé dumps me before our first date.”

“You’ve got me wrong. I’m not saying that.”

“Sounds like it to me.”

That was the last thing I expected her to say. But she didn’t stop.

“…Listen, Skippy… if that’s really your name. If you think you can treat me like this and still buy tires from us, well, forget it. You’ll never buy a tire again if my dad has anything to do with it.”

I was floored. Who expects this from the love of one’s life? I pulled over. I took her hand. She pulled away.

“Alexa…”

She sobbed. “I feel so used. Take me home.”

“We can work this out. I’ll buy four tires…”

“Tell it to my dad. I’m done.”

Now what? Alexa’s dad owned the only tire shop in town. Should have bought the damned tire when I had the chance.

Before I fell under her spell.

Saw that coming.