Escape Artist

October 16, 1987 was a day that my life changed significantly. My best friend Edward (“E” to family and friends) passed away after succumbing to injuries he suffered in a car accident four days earlier. I was only 16 years old and had no prior experience with death so this devastated me. Having known one another since the tender ages of three and four respectively we were more like brothers. Not only was I devastated I was heartbroken.

Fast forward to June 1988. It had been about nine months since E’s death. Although I didn’t descend into depression I certainly missed my best friend. I knew that while I couldn’t replace him I had to go on with my life. Given I was younger (and in FAR better shape), playing basketball was an integral part of my routine, so much in fact I would play for hours on end no fewer than four days per week. Playing so regularly I became a fixture at a local park and knew many if not all of the regulars. Suddenly a new player began to appear with regularity. He immersed himself in the games becoming a regular participant himself. After a couple of weeks the two of us struck up a conversation and became fast friends. We had a lot in common and began to hang out with each other regularly away from the court. While he certainly couldn’t replace E, he and I began to spend lots of time together doing the things that typical teenage boys would do.

One of the things that I must point out is that while I didn’t own a car he did. Given the fact that he had a car I would often ride with him. We would go to visit females, the movies, the mall, and of course the park to play basketball. One night after having spent a few hours at the park we went to his car for him to take me home. My home was only about ten minutes away so it was a short drive. Once we arrived we spoke briefly and made plans to play basketball the following day. “I’ll be here to pick you up around noon.” “Sounds good to me. I appreciate that.” After exiting the vehicle and making my way up the driveway and onto the porch, I saw my maternal grandmother sitting there ‘car/people watching’ as she liked to say. Mind you he stopped in front of our house for me to get out of his car. He didn’t exit the vehicle, so the only view that my grandmother had was his profile as he sat in the drivers’ seat. As I walked onto the porch to greet my grandmother she and I had the following exchange: “Whose car was that I just saw you get out of?” “A friend of mine I met at the court.” “You let that be the last time that you sit in his car.” “Wait. What did you say?” “I said you let that be the last time you sit in his car!” “Okay grandma. Whatever.” “If you don’t follow my advice you will regret it.” Here it was my grandmother was passing judgment on someone she not only didn’t know… but had barely seen! Remember she only saw his profile as he didn’t exit the vehicle! Yet and still from that brief viewing, she was advising me not to get in his car any further??? Yeah right.

The very next day as I was preparing to be picked up to go to the court the phone rang. It was my manager. I had a job at a local record store working in customer service. There had been several people scheduled to work that called to inform him they were not going to be able to come in causing the store to be extremely understaffed. Although I wasn’t scheduled to work he was reaching out to ask if I would be able to come and help out given the circumstances. I informed him that I would be able to and would get there as soon as possible. “While getting here soon would be greatly appreciated, I’m glad you’re able to come help out. Take your time getting here but I would appreciate you doing so sooner rather than later.” “Understood. I’ll be there shortly.” With that my plans changed from going to play basketball to going to work. After talking to my manager I called my friend to let him know about this new development. “Man go and make that money. We’ll catch up later.” “Sounds like a plan. I’ll call you tonight.”

I went to work, staying until closing. As I mentioned earlier I didn’t own a car so I rode the bus to and from work. My grandmothers’ twin sister lived a few houses up the street from us. As I was walking home from the bus stop my older cousin who was at her home was heading to his car to leave. When he saw me he looked as if he was seeing a ghost. “How did you get out of jail so fast?” “Well hello to you and why would you say something like that?” “Because I’m surprised to see you. You know the guy that you’ve been hanging with the past couple of weeks?” “Yeah, what about him?” “I was getting gas a few hours ago and saw him being arrested. After putting him into the car, the police pulled MULTIPLE guns and drugs from his vehicle. Knowing how much you two had been together of late I figured you had already been taken away in another police car.” I was dumbfounded. Had I not had to unexpectedly go to work, I undoubtedly would have been in the car with him… the same car that my grandmother had warned me 24 hours earlier “to let that be the last time I sit in it”. I had no words. Had I been in the car then my cousin would have been proven right in that I too would have been arrested and taken to jail as well. Given my cousins’ account of the amount of drugs and numerous weapons that were found in the vehicle, God only knows how much the fallout from that would continue to impact me to this very day!

My grandmother gave me so much advice in the 28 years that we shared together before she passed away. The times that she advised me either how to or in some instances how not to proceed about a number of different things is too many to count. All in all I thank God for using her to be spared from many a pitfall that I was headed for… this circumstance being no exception. Had I not been asked to come in to work and/or defied my grandmother’s instructions to “not sit in his car again” I probably wouldn’t be able to or perhaps alive to share this story. With that I can say that I certainly qualify as one that shouldn’t have made it out… but I did!