THE TIME HAS COME

General

Written in response to: "Write a story about a Google Street View driver." as part of Earth to Writers.

The time has come.


If you are a finding this, then either you have passed away - or you’re about to.


No one else knows this place but him.


If you do, then you can’t go.


If he has let you come this far, then you can’t live.


Don’t try to call the cops - it will be too late anyway.


Don’t try to yell - he made sure no one can hear you.


Don’t try to catch him - he won’t be caught unless he wants to.


Don’t try to run - he won’t let you get far.


Don’t try to hide - he will find you.


Don’t try to live - he has confirmed your death.


Don’t try anything - he will hunt you down.


Before you ask any other questions, you must know about him.


To know about him, you must know about his past.


***


He used to be a good guy and a really nice friend.


He was the best son in the world and he loved his daughter very dearly for her

entire life.


Not only was he a family man, but he was also a driver - just like you and me, and

many others - like us.


He was a driver for Google and he screened the streets for everyone to see - sound

familiar?


He took his daughter with him one day to seek out a new place.


She enjoyed it the whole way to the place.


They stopped at a carnival on the way and they got on every single ride.


You could even give them the title of “Best Father and Daughter.”


When the night was falling, they stopped by a hotel - not far from where you are.


They stayed for the night and decided to leave in the morning.


They slept sound and when they woke up in the morning, his daughter was missing.


There wasn’t a place where he didn’t look.


He looked in the room and in the lobby of the hotel.


He asked the neighbors and he ran around the parking lot.


He left the hotel in his car and looked all around the hotel.


He drove for miles.


He drove for hours.


He drove for his daughter.


After driving for a long time, he started to head back - thinking that his daughter

might have shown up back at the hotel.


On his way back, he found a forest - the exact one where you are right now.


He looked around everywhere, but she was found nowhere.


He got back in his car and started to head back.


Unfortunately for him, his camera on his car fell off and it blocked his view from

seeing the back.


Just then, he hit something.


Whatever he hit, it made a loud thump.


He couldn’t quite tell because the camera was in his way, but he saw blood.


When he got out, he saw her there.


He saw his daughter, bleeding and on the ground with an ice cream cone in her

right hand and a balloon in her left.


He felt bad, but he didn’t know what to do with her.


He couldn’t tell anyone, but he couldn’t keep it to himself.


He buried her right where he found her.


You are sitting on her grave.


***


— Now, you might be wondering how you are related to this, but trust me, you fit

perfectly into his story.


You both have had a family.


You and he are both drivers for Google.


You both chart the uncharted as a street driver.


You both brought your loved ones to the hotel.


You both ventured out to this park here.


You both —


Even if you live - your loved one won’t so don’t fight it - your loved one is next.


Now, don’t think that he’s a psychopath.


He is actually really not.


He is just like you and me.


The only difference is that he cares.


He cares about his daughter and he cares about himself.


He even seems to care about you.


After realizing what happened to him, he wanted to protect others from the pain.


If he sees a Google Street View driver or even the car, he will go for them.


He targets those who are just like him.


He doesn’t want to see another driver kill a loved one.


He killed his daughter on accident, and you are the victim of his change.


He will first kill you, and then your loved ones.


No one knows about this place, and no one will.


You need not worry about hurting a loved one - you won’t be there to hurt them,

and neither will they.


***


Let me just sum up everything real quick:


— He was a father and a driver.


— He accidentally killed his daughter because he couldn’t see the back of his car -

due to the camera on the top of his car.


— He wants to kill you so that you won’t have to worry about killing anyone else in

the future.


— He will also kill your loved ones so that they won’t have to suffer going through

life without you.


— He will bury you right next to his daughter so that you die peacefully.


— To make you feel even better, he will bury your loved one(s) along with you.


— He is doing you good in a way, so respect him.


— He is me, and I hope that you have signed this book - or else . . .


***


Do you hear that sound in the bush behind you?


That is him.


He is coming for you.


Don’t scream - he feeds off of fear.


Don’t run - he was a Google Street View driver, and if you know what I mean,

nothing ever goes out of his sight.


Everything is being recorded, so don’t try anything.


His motto is: “You won’t be there to kill anyone, ” and trust me - he means what he

says.


He’s coming closer, right?


But don’t worry; just sign your name in this book - next to all of his other victims.


At least your loved ones will find you in this way - oh wait, they can’t.


Remember that I am doing you a favor, so don’t feel bad.


Everything is going as planned.


All you have to do is cooperate with me.


Your cooperation is the least that I expect from you - after all, I am doing so much

for you.


Try to think happy thoughts - it’s now or never.


The time has come for you to part with this world.


The time has come for you to say your goodbye’s.


THE TIME HAS COME . . . for your death.

Posted May 01, 2020
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71 likes 170 comments

Hapsat Mohammed
May 08, 2020 16:47

the story is well written, nice story line really, great work

Reply

Shirley Medhurst
May 08, 2020 13:00

Very interesting & poetic style of writing which I thought was really effective.
One thing: I do agree with some of the other comments about not really being overly concerned about the driver & his feelings though.... Maybe more of a build-up of the character before the accident would get the reader more emotionally engaged with him???
Well done overall !

Reply

Pranathi G
May 08, 2020 13:05

Thank you! I will definitely take your advice the next time I write! Thanks for reading!

Reply

May 07, 2020 18:37

Like Abigail said, it is very powerful! I ope you win!

Reply

Pranathi G
May 07, 2020 18:42

Aww! Thank you so much! I hope I win too! :)

Reply

May 07, 2020 16:52

Pranathi, I liked this story, because it moved fast and was furious in its intent. I feel that you build up tension and brought in a lot of detail about the Google driver (which by the way I had no idea was a thing, because I am behind the times), but after reading your piece I feel I know a really bad one. Keep writing.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 07, 2020 17:03

Thank you!

Reply

Felicity Edwards
May 07, 2020 14:33

Quite a story and an unusual presentation. I loved the almost poemlike quality and the repetition makes it visceral. One small thing it should be by accident not on accident.
Well done

Reply

Pranathi G
May 07, 2020 15:21

Oh, ok! Sorry, I will fix that! Thanks for reading!

Reply

Hannah Reitz
May 07, 2020 04:04

This was really good an intriguing!! It was fun to read and had me asking a lot of questions

Reply

Pranathi G
May 07, 2020 12:46

Thank you!

Reply

Tina Laing
May 07, 2020 00:38

A very good story.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 07, 2020 02:05

Thank you so much!

Reply

May 06, 2020 19:23

I really like the format of this story. The single lines are like bullet points, they feel like individual thoughts. It's like a poem.

I wonder about the motivation though - is he just going to kill any (street view) driver, because they might run over someone in the future? It would perhaps make more sense if he targeted dangerous drivers (people speeding, driving drunk, etc). Anyway, just my thoughts :) I look forward to reading more of your stories!

Reply

Pranathi G
May 06, 2020 19:38

Thank you! I understand what you are saying and I will definitely take this advice into my mind the next time I write a somewhat similar story! Thank you for reading!

Reply

May 06, 2020 14:38

Hey Pranathi. You asked for some feedback so here goes.
The story format and the plotline was very strong and I loved the simplistic tone and no overuse of vocabulary. But, I suggest that you could turn up the emotions a bit, descripe them perhaps because I wasn't able to establish any real connection with the father or the "you", so even when the daughter died, I wasn't much moved. But overall, it was a very thrilling story. And this is only an advice.
Ps: Thank you for viewing my story.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 06, 2020 14:55

Thank you for the feedback! I will definitely take your advice the next time that I write a story! Thank you!

Reply

NANDINI MUJUMDAR
May 06, 2020 10:27

Very engaging style of writing, especially for horrors & thrillers.
Thanks for reading mine.
Any way everyones time comes good or bad, as destined.
It does not matter how you drive your exit should be peaceful and happy.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 06, 2020 13:05

Thank you!

Reply

May 06, 2020 03:35

Hey Pranathi :) You asked for some feedback so here goes:
Firstly I found your format to be engaging and worked really well for your story- not over explaining things and leaving certain details vague (like the identity of the narrator or details about 'you')worked well and kept it uncomplicated.
However, I found it a bit hard to be convinced by the fathers motivations to kill more people. Perhaps if the motive was stronger (revenge due to guilt etc) his reasons would be more compelling though this would involve tweaking the plot a little bit. Maybe as your narrator's voice is seemingly all knowing they could have seen/be aware of a future event where the 'you' voice does actually kill someone. Just a suggestion!
Overall nice and neat little short story, I enjoyed reading it :)

Reply

Pranathi G
May 06, 2020 13:06

Thank you! I will take your advice the next time I write another story! Thanks for taking the time to read my story!

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 22:54

Please like my story if you do like it!

Reply

Harken Void
May 05, 2020 20:57

Hey there!
I read your story and I liked hte formating and the concept that you were going with... but like others have pointed out already, there was a major misalignment behind the character's motivations. It would work better here if you portrayed him as a psychopath, because; killing others so they won't suffer makes no sense, it's precisely what makes them suffer, and what makes their loved ones suffer too.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 21:08

Thank you! I do understand what you are saying and I will try to improve the next time I write! Thanks for your time!

Reply

Jill Howard
May 05, 2020 19:20

You asked me to review your story, so here I am! I like the difference in format in this story- the separated sentences really make it stand apart from others, and help build suspense as well. Cool take on this prompt! It really pulls the reader in.
The one thing I would suggest is to run your writing through Grammarly or something similar to catch any small grammar mistakes. Overall, though, great concept!

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 19:38

Thank you! I will do next time! Thanks for the advice!

Reply

May 05, 2020 18:30

I really love your story. The format you wrote with is rarely used so I really appreciate it. I also loved how you allowed the readers to feel like they're a part of the story.
I'd advise that you put your work through Grammarly to get rid of some writing errors.
Overall, your story was engaging and fun to read. Thanks!

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 18:31

Thank you so much! I will definitely do that the next time that I write!

Reply

♡ Tana ♡
May 05, 2020 16:56

Wow, that's a really great story. I love the writing style, it's so unique and enthralling! Great job!!

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 18:08

Thank you!

Reply

Grace Van Essen
May 05, 2020 16:31

It's a great story, though it reminded me allot of another story I read on this website recently. Overall, it's an excellent story, that kept me on the edge the whole time.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 18:10

Thank you!

Reply

Kaveen Selvi
May 05, 2020 06:41

One word: Eerie

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 15:15

That was what I was going for!

Reply

Saranglogy R
May 05, 2020 03:38

I loved how you explained in a poetic form without rhyming words. A different way of story telling. I loved it. Keep up the good work.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 05, 2020 15:15

Thank you!

Reply

Zilla Babbitt
May 04, 2020 20:11

You asked me to read, so here I am. Very interesting! I like how you work around the Google Street View driver thing to maintain a meaningful story. Very interesting take. I enjoyed the poetic feel, even the choppy sentences. It sort of gave the feeling of a deranged person's thought process.

The only thing that sort of bothered me was the motive behind the man's intent to kill. Down in the comments you explain it was because he doesn't want anyone else to feel that pain, but how does he know the main character is going to kill someone? Wouldn't the man feel even more guilty for killing multiple people? The motivation isn't holding up the plot, and I think if you made him out to be some sadistic weirdo instead of a loving father-killer, the plot would make more sense.

Anyway, good job. Poetic, distinct author voice, and sound characters. Keep it up!

Reply

Pranathi G
May 04, 2020 20:14

Thank you! Next time I write a story similar to this, I will be sure to make it more clear and motivated. Thanks for the feedback. It really helped!

Reply

May 04, 2020 19:39

"Do you hear that sound in the bush behind you?"
My God i love it i really like it, its the type of stories i read so this is just good

Reply

Pranathi G
May 04, 2020 19:40

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it!

Reply

L. M.
May 04, 2020 18:28

Hi, this is a startling story! Good job at making it so direct.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 04, 2020 18:32

Thank you!

Reply

L. M.
May 04, 2020 19:16

You're welcome. :)

Reply

Rawn A Lynn
May 04, 2020 18:16

Thank you for the truly chilling story! It was a greatly executed concept.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 04, 2020 18:17

Your welcome and thanks!

Reply

Manan Suraiya
May 04, 2020 17:13

Heyo! You asked for feedback, so here goes:
Great story! I am a huge fan of crime stories, so this was an interesting read. It seemed more like a poetry though, if that was the format you were aiming for, then good.
However, as a crime enthusiast, I suggest don't reveal everything. Let the readers be with the questions you created for them.
Work on it, and you will definitely improve! Cheers. Do read my other submission titled 'Hunter'.
P.S: I don't want to open Google Maps now haha

Reply

Pranathi G
May 04, 2020 18:04

Thank you! It was intended to be like poetry, and I will definitely take your advice. I will read your other submission Hunter. Sorry for you not wanting to open Google Maps!

Reply

Lynne Desen
May 04, 2020 16:41

Great intrigue! Good job taking us along on a scary, unpredictable trip.

Reply

Pranathi G
May 04, 2020 16:49

Thank you!

Reply

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