A Zesty Deadline

February 18th, 2026

10:00

Is this thing on?

The light’s red, so I’m going to assume it’s recording! Hello, everyone! Due to a truly spectacular level of personal disorganization, I am literally incapable of taking notes. You can ask any one of my supervisors, and they’ll tell you my last six reports are nowhere to be found! So in an effort to keep my job, I’m going to give voice recordings a try. Hopefully there’s some tool out there to transcribe them for me. Not AI-based, I hope. I’m so worried about all that water usage-

But we’re not here to discuss the increasingly-complex ethics of AI usage! We’re here to talk about ice cream! Because I, Roman Chocolate, am one of the lead flavor innovators at Zest and Cream. Yes, that Zest and Cream. Internationally renowned ice cream chain, winner of dozens of people’s choice awards, and recently featured in not one but three Hallmark Christmas movies. 

Now I know what you’re thinking. Whose parents name them Roman Chocolate? Was he destined to develop ice cream from conception? The answer to that is obviously yes, but also that Roman Chocolate is a name I gave myself seven years ago. My legal name used to be Ian, which is a fine name for someone who does taxes or writes software. But not for someone who comes up with the best, most mind-blowing ice cream flavors on the planet! 

And I don’t work alone. My team does not share my epithet-changing devotion to our work, but their commitment is still above reproach. Sitting in the tangerine beanbag in the corner is Megan, whose Red Hot Brownie ice cream has been a huge hit for Valentine’s this month. Megan, do you have thoughts for the recording? 

Okay Megan, not sure why you’re waving for audio. But moving on, perched on the desk next to Megan and wearing ice cream sweatpants is the legendary Jacob. Jacob’s Lemon Peep Pie ice cream debuts in our stores next month, and it’s almost certainly going to be loved and hated in equal measure. But we love controversy here at Zest and Cream! 

Now that we’ve got introductions out of the way, it’s time to buckle down and talk about why we’re truly here. Ice cream, yes, but more specifically-dramatic pause-October ice cream. 

I know, I know. It’s February, and we’re all pumpkin-spiced out for at least seven more months, right? Not here at Zest and Cream! Developing a new flavor takes time, and then it takes more time to produce. So while the rest of the world is indulging in Easter candy, we’ve got one month to give you the hottest new take on October-themed ice cream!

So hold onto your candy corns! It’s going to be a wild ride! 

February 23rd, 2026

16:32 

Ugh, I will never touch pumpkin spice again.

There’s no such thing as pumpkin spice, okay? It doesn’t exist. Pumpkins aren’t made of spices. They’re squashes. Pumpkin spice is just a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger, and cloves. There’s not even any pumpkin in it-

Sorry, sorry. We’ve tried so many pumpkin spice items in the last five days. I’m so sick of not-pumpkin spice that I could bake it into a cookie, bring that cookie to life, and then throttle it with a-

Okay, okay. Breathing in, breathing out. 

But the point is, pumpkin spice has been done. 

By everyone. 

We’ve tried not-pumpkin spice cookies. Biscotti. Overnight oats. Cereal. Creamer. Hummus. Yogurt. Mochi. Popcorn. Spreadable cheese.

Yes, I’m talking about those little soft cheese wedges you get individually wrapped in a wheel, but now spiced like not-pumpkins. Disgusting. Jacob liked them, and I refused to speak to him for the entire weekend. 

But the point is there’s nothing there. I refuse to let pumpkin spice come within a mile of my ice cream, and I will get a restraining order if necessary. 

February 27th, 2026

14:14 

We have something! 

We had an absolute marathon of candy tasting today. If it’s on store shelves between the months of September to November, we tried it. And we tried it paired with every other candy on store shelves between the months of September to November. Twix. Snickers. Reese’s. Skittles. M&M’s. Candy corn. Did you know there’s candy corn flavored like hot dogs? We do! At least, Megan and I do. Jacob said no one could ever pay him enough to put one of those in his mouth. 

I’m pretty sure I ate enough sugar to hear colors, but hopefully it’s temporary. If not, it could be an interesting superpower along with the diabetes I’m certain I’m developing-

But the diabetes is worth it because we have an idea! Megan’s mom sent her some homemade popcorn balls to try with our candy. You know, those ones with butter and marshmallows that grandmas used to hand out before we all decided they contained razor blades for some reason? We ignored them for most of the morning, but I finally tried one with a Reese’s as a joke. And would you believe it was absolutely delicious? Imagine luscious peanut butter and chocolate with a gentle crunch from the popcorn, and just a little bit of salt to balance the sweet. I had three full popcorn balls before I had to force myself to stop! 

So we’ve decided to do a “When Trick-or-Treating Generations Collide” flavor with Reese’s and popcorn pieces (coated in a shell of butter and sugar so they don't dissolve) mixed into a salted caramel ice cream with a peanut butter ribbon. We’ll have to iron out the recipe in the test kitchen, and the name probably needs some work, but this is the kind of innovation we love here at Zest and Cream. I’m going to take it to our supervisors next Monday, and hopefully they love it as much as we do!

March 2nd, 2026

19:55

And…they did not.

I should be more specific and give credit where it’s due, I guess. Zest and Cream has a rotating series of five monthly flavors, so there are five flavor innovation teams headed by three supervisors. Each team has a month to develop their flavor and present it to the supervisors, who approve it and take it to the higher-ups for sampling. If the higher-ups approve, the flavor enters production and the team moves on to the next month’s flavor (I have so many ideas for Thanksgiving, I cannot even begin to tell you…). Lisa, Ron, and Jeremy are our three supervisors, and they share our love of creative and unusual flavor pairings. They loved “When Generations Collide”, and were just about to give me the clear to start prepping the roast turkey and macaroni ice cream I’ve been dreaming about for years. 

And then Steve happened to walk by.

Who is Steve, you ask? Steve is our nemesis. No, Jacob, don’t try to correct me. He’s everyone’s nemesis, not just mine. Steve is our CFO, meaning it’s his job to make sure we’re making money. Which I get is necessary and all, but it means that he’s usually the one to squash our most creative ideas in the interest of making a product that sells. I had the absolute best pizza ice cream idea last year, and the masses never got to enjoy my candied olives and pepperoni because of Steve. 

Steve also has shall we say…traditional views on Halloween. Namely, that it’s for children at best and devil worship at worst. So when he walked by the conference room and saw we were proposing a flavor based on trick-or-treating, he shot it down. Said it’s not what people want. Said the people want apples and-shudder-not-pumpkin spice. Lisa fought him on it. Said we have September for more traditional fall flavors. Pointed out the mass commercial appeal of Halloween. Said that we’re too creative for not-pumpkin spice. Finally shouted that Halloween was the theme of the month, for the love of Zest! 

Zest is our mascot, by the way. She’s a Snowy Owl wearing a cocktail hat and holding ice cream in a ceramic bowl. The color of the hat and the bowl’s design change monthly, and you can purchase the latter in our stores for the bargain price of $29.99. I don’t know how she can hold the bowl in her wings, and I’m pretty sure owls don’t eat ice cream. But no one listened when I wanted our mascot to be a cat. Cats love milk, right? It would make so much more sense…

Steve wouldn’t budge. So just like that, our delicious multi-generational ice cream has been canceled. Murdered. Dead before its time. And while we want to spend time in the various stages of grief for it, we need to hurry. We only have about two weeks left before our deadline, and we’re back to square one. 

March 12th, 2026

15:22

We have hit a wall.

No, it’s worse than that. We’ve slammed headfirst into a wall going 90 miles per hour. We’re now being rushed to the hospital in the back of an ambulance while the paramedics beg us to hang on, dialing the number of our emergency contact in case we don’t... 

Steve’s dismissal of our flavor has shattered our confidence. We already ruled out not-pumpkin spice, and now Halloween candy is off the table as well. So what else is there? Apple is even more basic than pumpkin. Cinnamon too. Could we do a spice-themed ice cream? Is that too obvious? Frankenstein ice cream with a mint base and a black licorice ribbon? Dracula ice cream with real blood?

We did test that last one out. It was awful enough I almost staked it through its metaphorical ice cream heart. 

Over and over we’ve argued. Debated. Googled. Argued some more. We’ve been burning a pumpkin candle from Bath and Body Works in our office for days hoping it’ll give us inspiration, but so far all it’s given me is a migraine. 

I’m not sure we’re going to make our deadline, a sentence I never thought I’d say. And I don’t know what that means for our team or our future here at Zest and Cream. Being the best means you have to always bring the best. And if you don’t, there’s always a line of people waiting to replace you.

Goodbye, turkey and macaroni ice cream. Someone else will have to create you.

March 16th, 2026 

2:29

Day of the Dead!

The revelation came to me after my 28th consecutive hour without sleep and my fifth energy drink in that time. I was somewhere between a zombie and manic, pacing tight laps around the office and munching on popcorn balls with Reese’s (a combination I’m now sadly addicted to). I’d been at the office alone all weekend, determined not to lose my beloved job. I couldn’t go back to being Ian!

I only knew a little bit about Day of the Dead, but a few minutes of jittery research fixed that. And oh, the flavors. Cinnamon. Coffee. Chile. Orange. I was overwhelmed for a few minutes with all the possible combinations, so I decided to keep it simple. I found a recipe for “Pan de Muerto”, a sweet bread commonly placed on ofrendas with hints of orange, and “Champurrado”, a cinnamon-spiced hot chocolate. I spent a peaceful hour in our test kitchen baking, making hot chocolate, and then putting the latter through our ice cream machine. I decided to add a cinnamon and chile ribbon for a little extra punch of flavor and color, and a few minutes ago I folded the ribbon and chunks of sweet bread into the hot chocolate ice cream. 

It was divine. Somehow warm in spite of its cold temperature, and not overly sweet. The bread broke up the richness of the chocolate and added a lovely aromatic sweetness. Halloween and fall and family all blended together, and not a single dash of not-pumpkin. 

I almost ate the whole batch before I remembered to save some for Megan and Jacob. 

Then I finished it anyway. We can make more!

March 18th, 2026

9:54

Got it approved with six minutes to spare! 

Megan and Jacob found me sprawled in our beanbag yesterday morning, splattered in chocolate ice cream. I woke up to them checking to see if I had a pulse, and startled them more than a little when I jumped up with a triumphant shout that I had found our flavor. But they forgave me once they tried it. We finished another batch of “Abuela’s Ofrenda” (a name we coined after an afternoon of research) and had to make a third one for our supervisors. They took it to the higher-ups this morning, who gave it the green light just a few minutes ago!

We should celebrate (in a decidedly sugar-free fashion, after all this sampling) but there’s no time. Our month countdown just reset, so it’s time for Thanksgiving! I still have the turkey and macaroni idea, but Megan has already countered with a fascinating sweet potato casserole suggestion. And Jacob thinks he can do something with green beans. 

Steve will probably shoot down that last one, but I think it’s worth a try! It’s not Zest and Cream if there’s not some controversy!