I'll Always Be Your Moon And Stars

Sensitivity Note: Pet Death

It's time to wake up mama for breakfast. I jump onto the bed and push force myself onto her chest and start purring. She stretches a little as she wakes up, and then scratches right at the good spot. I lean into it. Then she is rolling onto her side and pulling me into a snuggle. I love the morning snuggles. I wish she would wake up faster for food though, but I love snuggle time. I look over to see sister sitting near by, her tail tapping impatiently for breakfast. It's my job to wake up mama in the morning.

I let mama sleep for a few more minutes before I give the headbutts.

Mama groans but gives me a kiss on my forehead. It's my favorite thing, but it's breakfast time, i have food to eat.

Alright Figaro I hear you, lets feed you and Freya

She gives me a scratch and reluctantly throws the blankets off of her and sits on the edge of the bed. Sister comes over for her morning head scratch and then all three of us are on our way to the kitchen. Sister and I run to where mama fixes us each a plate of crunchies and gravy. I stick my head in the bag. Mama laughs and pulls me out.

Figaro, you silly boy, you can wait the five seconds it takes me to make your plate.

I'm starving mama. I meow to let her know this is urgent.

When she finally puts our plates down I plow my mouth into the food. It's so good I can't get enough. Mama always tells me to slow down and taste the food. But I taste it just fine. But it's gone too fast. I look over to see sister still eating hers. I better go and help her with that. I start eating off her plate, but mama quickly swoops down and grabs it from me. She brings it into another room with sister and closes the door.

I sit in front of the door waiting for sister to finish so that i can clean anything left on her plate when my tummy starts to feel sour. Something isn't right. But I can't let mama or sister know.

When sister finishes eating what she wants mama gives me the plate, but I'm not really wanting it right now. I lick it and my tummy turns. I leave the rest. Mama is looking down at me with a her brow furrowed.

You okay buddy?

I'm fine mama really. I meow and rub myself against her legs. She rubs her hand down my back and then leaves me so that she can get ready.

Usually sister and I play for a few hours before we nap for the day, but I'm not feeling like playing today. I don't feel good, i want to nap.

I brace myself as I walk into the front room. Sister is hiding, she likes to jump out at me and scare me. I don't like it much, but especially today I don't want to play this game. I hear her as she jumps out at me and i turn to face her to tell her to stop, but she has already stopped herself. She is sniffing me. She knows something is wrong. She can smell it. I'm a little scared. What's wrong, why don't i feel good?

Sister nudges her head against mine, then she jumps up on our favorite spot to lounge in the sun; the window seat. I jump up and curl into her. She starts to lick my face and I let her. Usually I get annoyed because she goes too long, but today I am comforted by it. Maybe if I take a nap I will feel better.

I wake up in late afternoon, I'm still so tired, and I feel worse. Mama is pulling out my favorite toy, the flying feathers. I get up and i feel woozy. I'm not feeling like playing tonight. But I don't want to scare mama. She sends it flying around the room and sister begins to chase it. I follow along a little bit but I let sister do all the running and jumping, I'm just so tired.

Mama sounds concerned as she leans down and picks me up. Ow! I Meow loudly as pain shoots into me where she touched my underside.

"Figaro, It's okay, We are getting you to the vet right now!" she sounds panicked. Please mama let't just cuddle. I will feel better in the morning; I promise.

She kisses my head and carries me to my carrier, then getntly puts me in. Usually I would fight her, but my whole body doesn't feel good. I'm really scared now mama. I'm hurting. Why did you say vet, i don't like that place.

I start crying out for mama, I want to go snuggle in bed, i'll feel better after that. I just want mama, i'm scared and i feel like i'm getting weak. I just want you near me mama.

She is quickly back to me, her face seems whiter and her voice a high pitch.

"We are going to figure out whats wrong with you buddy. Hang in there." She says as she picks me up.

She is rushing out the door with my carrier in hand, and I am quickly put into the back of the car. I meow out because I know where we are going. The white room, the VET! I promise mama i'll be okay, don't take me there, I meow out.

I hear mama talk to me as we drive, telling me everything is going to be okay. But i just want to go home. Please mama can we go home? I'm sorry i don't feel good, i'll get better, I promise.

The car stops and the woman in the blue clothes is out there to meet us. My mama hands my carrier to her. I watch mama as she stands by the car, is she crying? Please mama don't cry? Why aren't you coming with me.

The woman brings me into the White Room, it smells like sick and scared animals, and something sickingly unnatural. I hate this place. The woman is opening the carrier and i don't fight her, she is talking to me in low, calm tone.

I want my mama. I meow out as she pokes and pushes on me, then she's sticking me with something. I scream. That hurts. I WANT MY MAMA.

It feels like forever before she puts me back into my carrier. I paw at the blanket and burrow underneath it. Hoping that she's getting my mama. I make sure even though I'm hidden I can see the room, if anyone comes back.

I'm feeling weaker. What's wrong with me?

Mama walks in with the woman. Mama's face is red and puffy, and tears are pouring out of her eyes. What's wrong? Why are you so sad. It's okay, we can go home and snuggle under the covers. We will both feel better tomorrow.

The lady pats my mama's shoulder and disappears, good she's gone, lets get out of here.

Mama opens the door, and I quickly come to her. I'm in her arms and it smells like warmth and safety. She sits down on the ground with me in her lap.

Through sobs she keeps talking to me. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you. I promise I will take care of your sister. I love you so much."

The pain is getting stronger and my body is getting weaker, but I have to comfort her. I get up and start rubbing myself against her face, giving her headbutts. We leave our foreheads against each other for a moment.

"I love you

I love you

I love you."

Mama keeps repeating through the tears, and i keep rubbing my head against hers and purring my love you's back to her.

Too soon the lady is back and she is kneeling down beside me. Ouch! She pokes me with another needle and then she is gone again.

Oh I feel really sleepy.

Mama is petting me, my eyes are getting heavy.

Mama begins to sing the moon song, my favorite song.

I'm sorry mama, I'm...so...tired. I can't...keep...my...eyes...open.

Mama sings "You are my moon and stars on my darkest night." Then everything goes dark.

My eyes open, I don't hurt anymore, I feel good, but weird. I get up out of mama's lap, but there I am still in her lap, my body is anyway. She is crying over me, that's not me anymore. Oh mama, what is going on?

I hear a sound behind me and look to see a dog I've seen before, in a lot of photos with mama.

"I'm Lady, it's nice to finally meet you Figaro" she says.

"What's going on?"

"You have done all you were meant to in this life. It is time to cross the rainbow bridge and gain your wings." She explains

"But what about mama, she needs me."

"You will still care for her, she was your gaurdian, and now you will join me as hers. I have a lot to explain to you. But say your goodbyes and then we must go." There is sadnness in her deep brown eyes.

I turn back to mama and sit next to her for a few moments as she cries. I want to stay longer but I know it's time.

I rub my cheek against her shoulder one last time, "I'll always be your moon and stars Mama. Always."

Reluctantly I walk away and follow Lady to the rainbow bridge, we both take one last look at our mama, and then we cross the bridge.