I Did Everything Right

“Eeeeeeeeeeek! It’s finally happening! OMG! OMG! OMG!” Stacy squealed as she tossed around on her bed, phone in hand, completely absorbed in her screen.

Purple confetti burst across the display as her favorite singer appeared, their gorgeous face filling the screen. Their voice floated through her headphones, and Stacy sang along to the encore, grinning so hard her cheeks hurt.

Ding!

A text from her friend.

Heyy girlll, what are you up to?

Nothing much, just practising for tomorrow :)

No response.

She waited.

Still nothing.

Can’t wait for tomorrow. Byeee!

Stacy was ecstatic. She couldn't believe they had actually managed to get tickets. She had dreamed of seeing them live for years, and now it was finally happening. It was the most exciting thing she'd done in months.

As she played tomorrow over and over in her head in a giddy daze, she suddenly sprang to her feet and pumped her fists into the air.

“Okay! Let's get ready for tomorrow. Can't miss anything on such an important day!”

She grabbed her purple floral to-do notebook and began scribbling furiously.

1. Book a cab to and from the venue. (P.S. Finding a cab after a concert is a nightmare.)

2. Sneak in a protein bar.

3. Pack power bank, wallet, tissues, and OF COURSE tickets!

4. Tell Mom and Dad what time I'll be back.

5. Charge phone.

6. Emergency meds, just in case.

.7 Set three alarms.

“Aaah, all done.”

She plopped back onto her bed and pulled out her purple journal. It matched her notebook perfectly.

Dear Diary,

I am so excited for tomorrow. I've been dreaming about going to their concert for years, and I can't believe it's finally happening. I was unsure at first because I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it, but I've been doing pretty well lately. I haven't had a bad episode in weeks. Besides, the whole thing only lasts four hours and I've done everything right.

Stacy closed her journal and carefully laid out her outfit for the next day.

A black ribbed top threaded with tiny silver flecks shimmered under her bedroom light like scattered stars. She paired it with high-waisted dark-wash jeans, chunky black ankle boots, and her lucky clover pendant, which she placed neatly on top.

For a moment, she simply stared at it all.

Tomorrow felt real now.

And as she switched off the light, her eyes glittered with the same quiet hope as the sparkles woven into her top.

Stacy woke up to her first alarm.

Today was the day.

She rolled out of bed, brushed her teeth, washed up, and got dressed before checking her phone for the tenth time that morning. No cancellations. No missed messages. No problems.

She ate her usual breakfast, a meal she had perfected through months of trial and error.

She made sure to hydrate herself properly. She went for her usual morning walk. She took everything on her schedule.

She did everything right.

As the day went by and her excitement settled into a steady buzz, Stacy started feeling sleepier than usual.

"Huh, probably because it's mid-afternoon," she thought, dismissing the feeling.

She went upstairs to her room to charge her phone. Halfway up the stairs, a wave of lightheadedness washed over her.

"Huh, I probably didn't sleep quite enough last night."

She plugged in her phone and started playing songs, preparing herself for tonight. As she hummed along, she felt normal enough.

Outside her window, the afternoon sky slowly melted from soft blue into streaks of gold, peach, and fiery orange.

Stacy headed to the bathroom to freshen up. As she bent down to pick up her towel, she wobbled slightly and had to steady herself against the sink.

"Huh, I probably stood up too fast."

Back in her room, she checked her messages. A faint tingling sensation pressed against her side before fading away.

"Huh, I probably need a little more water."

She reached for her phone to call the cab.

Thud.

The phone slipped from her fingers and landed on the floor.

"Huh, maybe I'm just nervous about tonight."

As she stepped out of her room, there was only one last item left on her checklist before she could start getting ready.

Crash!!

A sharp bolt of pain tore through Stacy's abdomen.

Her knees buckled as she lost her balance and fell to the floor, still clutching the emergency pain medication she wanted to pack for tonight.

Pain radiated across her abdomen.

Her joints ached.

Her muscles burned.

Her head pounded.

Her body felt too hot and too cold at the same time.

A familiar betrayal.

“No.”

“NO!”

“Not today. Not NOW!” she cried, instinctively drawing her hands into fists.

Another wave struck.

Sharp. Relentless.

It forced a deep breath from her lungs.

There wasn't enough voice left to cry.

Stacy peered out from where she lay on the floor.

Her perfectly chosen outfit sparkled in the sunset.

This isn't fair.

The tickets sat on her bed.

It isn't fair.

She had trusted her body. It had broken that trust before, yet she had trusted it anyway.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she slipped into a familiar, repetitive rabbit hole.

Why today?

Why not yesterday?

Why not last week?

Why not tomorrow?

Why not next month?

Why does it have to be today?

Nothing about this is fair.

Just as autoimmune diseases usually aren't.

“I did everything right,” she cried.

“I took everything on time. Every single day. The same time every day.”

Her grip tightened around the bottle.

“I ate the right foods. Drank enough water. Slept on time. Followed my routine. SAID NO TO THINGS I WANTED TO DO.”

Another tear fell.

“What did I do to deserve this?”

“I didn't do anything wrong.”

“I didn't have bad habits. I didn't take risks. I didn't ignore my health.”

Her voice cracked.

“I didn't do anything.”

“So why me?”

A flash appeared and her phone beeped.

She didn't check.

She sat on the floor and stared ahead as tears rolled silently down her cheeks.

Minutes passed.

The anger faded first.

Then the frustration.

Then, even the disappointment.

All that remained was exhaustion.

Outside, the sky darkened from orange to deep navy blue. The moon hung bright above her window. The stars stayed hidden behind the clouds.

Eventually, the pain eased enough for her to stand.

Slowly, Stacy pulled herself onto her bed.

Another notification flashed across her phone.

This time, she picked it up.

Sorry guys. I can't make it tonight.

She hit send and placed the phone face down beside her.

Her hands still trembled. Her cheeks felt stiff and tight from dried tears.

The concert outfit still lay where she had left it.

She looked away.

Instead, she reached for her purple notebook.

She noted down: Routine followed,

Symptoms started in the afternoon. Lightheadedness. Tingling. Pain.

She added a few notes beside them.

Maybe more water. Maybe more rest. Maybe she needed to change something.

Maybe next time.

Stacy closed the notebook.

Tomorrow would come,

It always did.

And somehow, she always met it.