Scissors

Sooo I have to say what's wrong with this story, or not wrong, exactly, but any triggers, it's abstract but I hint at s*xual stuff and self-harm. Please enjoy. Don't worry-- I'm actually alright. It is based off a true story-- I do carry scissors and the mental hospital line is a quote form my dear mother.

You don't have to worry. I just put this up so y'all could see that you're not alone.

--Em, aka Helpless.

Stop, please stop

I’m scared

For no reason

Why do I bother with being scared

scared isn’t the right word

Why do I bother

But I’m terrified

Look at me

I’ve started carrying scissors in my bag

Because puberty did things to me

Things that make people stare

I just want another body

And I don’t know who I am anymore

I wear long sleeves

Long dresses 

Trying to hide myself

Trying to hide what I am

Cause I’m scared

The world shouldn’t be this way

The world shouldn’t be this way

But here I am

I am broken

Make my own mother kick the wall

Tell me she hates my Asburgers

Tells me she’s so sorry

But I feel like I’m the problem

Those scissors could cut my skin

Those scissors could pierce this flesh

Would they even care

Don’t worry, I’m fine

Just ignore me

And stop panicking because your daughter isn’t perfect 

Stop worrying, I swear I’m fine

But I carry scissors

I carry scissors

I carry scissors to hurt those who look at me wrong

I carry scissors in case your words break my heart

But I’m too weak to hurt myself

You’d only shout at me

Oh, do you need to go to the mental hospital

Are you gonna hurt yourself?

Why am I burdened with this?

Please

Please

Please stop. 

I’m so, so scared.

Please.

Please.

Yes, I drew on myself.

I’m not a hipster—

I’m trying to scare them away

And keep my blood in my body.

—Em

Who’s mom will never see this

Because she doesn’t care

And even when she does

She doesn’t read my poetry

Thanks.

Don’t worry.

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

I’m okay. 

We’re okay.

We’re gonna be okay.