Colored Coats

No, we’re on separate bills this time, we broke up. What? Yes he is. He’s right there. What’re you blind or something? He’s right there, he’s an adult now so he can pay his own bill … Your supervisor? Why? Can you at least refill our coffees. Ok. You’re an adult now. You have money and I’m sick of paying for you. No, we’re not dating we’re just good acquaintances or we were unless you’re taking advantage of me. Are we just meeting so you can get free meals? No? Then you’re paying for your own meals from this point forward.

Hey, you’re the head manager? The assistant manager. Ok. What’s the problem? There’s no one there? What’re you nuts or blind? Yea, he hasn’t eaten anything. Maybe he isn’t hungry. He’ll get a to go box, won’t you? He said yes. We’ll get two checks. Yes, someone’s there. You’ll bring us both checks but neither of us can leave until both checks are paid? I can’t control whether or not he’ll pay his bill. You’re going to bring our bills. Thank you.

I see him roll his eyes. Then I pay my bill; the server takes it back and the card goes through, I sign it and leave a tip, but Roger isn’t paying his bill. So I try encouraging him to pay his bill. I’m firm and tell him a lot of things’ll happen to both of us if he doesn’t pay it and I see him get his wallet out and put his credit card on the bill. I call the server who look at the bill and says, matter of factly, that there’s nothing on the bill; no cash, card, or any payment at all. look at the bill, and see his card there but the waiter doesn’t see it. The server says he’ll give us thirty minutes to pay his bill or the manager will manager. call the police.

*

The coats come. Goddamn it. I hate the coats. The blue coats and the white coats are here. Doesn’t make sense. Why’re the white coats here? Roger isn’t crazy. He may be immature but he’s not crazy. The blue coats come in first and talk to the manager. Maybe they’re going to arrest the manager for harassing us? Then the coat asks me what’s going on. So I show her my receipt and she looks at it and agrees I paid it but she says what about this bill and picks up Roger’s bill and I explain to her Roger tried to pay his bill but …. And Roger tried putting his card on there but the coat don’t see nothing. But he doesn’t arrest us either. Instead he talks to the manager, but still doesn’t arrest him.

She goes outside and then the white coats come in. Damn it. Why can’t they .. Roger, you need another way to pay. You got cash or something? He again puts his card on the check but only I can see it.

I see the fake smiles with exhausted eyes staring at me as if they’re near the end of a 72 hour shift. What’s going on? one of the white coats asks and I explain about Roger. One of them conceals a chuckle. Then the coat that asked me the question said if I don’t pay for Roger’s food, they’ll need to put me in a straight jacket and take me in an ambulance to a hospital. Because Roger won’t pay his bill? He then tells me no one but me seems to see Roger and asks me if I’m on any recreational drugs. No, just the meds my doc prescribed. I don’t know them off the top of my head. Why doesn’t anyone else see or hear Roger? Maybe it’s like “Horton Hears a Who”?

A white coat then informs me Roger didn’t eat any of his food. I already explained this to the assistant manager. He ordered it because he thought he was hungry but then realized he wasn’t. So, am I going to pay for Roger’s food or is there going to be trouble?

I don’t want any trouble. I could pay it and paid my bill, but Roger needs to pay his own damn bill. They look at each other; the white coats and each of them gather one of my limbs and they pin me to the ground and I scream and I tell Roger to get them off of me, but he just reaches in his coat pocket, pulls out a pack of Parliament, and lights it. Damn it, Roger, help me. I swing my limbs to get away but there are too many and the press their bodies against me. Roger, damn it, this is all your fault. Then, my chest starts feeling tight. My breasts and my chest. And I feel the world spinning and I pass out

I wake up and Roger’s still there smoking his Parliament, but I see me on the floor with these thin men holding me down with their fake smiles. Then I hear a commission and I see them get off me and call in the police. I then see this light filled with love, comfort and beauty and I float towards it and go through it, but I can still see the diner and I see the blue coats taking off my shirt and bra and a white coat making a phone call and Roger’s right next to me. Then an ambulance takes my body, but not me, to a hospital. I feel like I can float towards the hospital and do. I see doctors and nurses hooking me up to machines and a doctor says Stop. They’re a DOA. Then, after an hour, people in black coats take my body away. Never seen anyone come after me in no black coats before, just blue and white. Strange.

But the black coats put me in a white garment and collect the rest of my belongings and take my body away. Think, all this was over $14.67 you refused to pay, Roger. Was it worth it?