Miren

Stepping out from the grocery store onto the cold city street, Yagi could feel the sharp winter winds cutting through the fabrics of his clothes. Impaling his skin and freezing him to the bone. His face was flush and his teeth clattered. Weighed down by the bags, his hand felt as brittle as glass.

Feeling someone grab his unoccupied hand, Yagi turned to see Ava. Exiting the store behind him, she quickly interlocked her fingers with his before pulling him close and giving a nod to indicate they could leave.

“You’re cold, aren’t you?” Ava asked.

“What gave you that idea?” Yagi responded. His eyes focused on the flakes of snow that began to fall.

With a gentle squeeze, she let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his.

Turning to face her, their eyes met as she gave him a soft, concerned smile that seemed to radiate warmth itself.

His heart beat steadied and it was as if his blood were beginning to boil, pumping through his body against the cold. His brain became clouded, reminiscing over past memories and day dreaming about the future.

Before long, they arrived home. Holding doors open for him as they entered, Ava led Yagi up the stairs and into their apartment.

Resting the bags on the counter, Yagi turned to take Ava’s coat, hanging it along with his in the closet as she walked out of the kitchen and disappeared into the bedroom. The sun outside, only beginning to set, shone through the windows into the apartment almost as a spotlight drawing attention to its current state.

Standing in the kitchen Yagi could see the piles of unwashed dishes, bags of trash and ordered food, layers of dust built up over every surface. With the sound of running water emanating from the bedroom, Yagi began to clean away the mess hoping to restore its condition.

Gathering the empty paper bags, he began folding them as he walked over to the trash can. From the corner of his eye, he saw a glimpse of a slip falling from a bag. Quickly catching it as it floated to the ground, Yagi saw it was a receipt whose ink had begun bleeding into the paper leaving most characters smudged or illegible.

The shower shut off and the apartment grew silent. Placing the receipt down by the stove, Yagi poured himself some coffee then made his way into the living room. Hearing the tv turn on as Yagi sat down, Ava exited the bedroom wearing a light pink bathrobe with matching slippers, and a towel wrapped around her hair.

Sitting beside him on the couch, Ava hugged his arm and rested her cheek on Yagi’s right shoulder. Feeling the damp towel on Ava’s head pressed against his face, droplets of water running down his cheek, Yagi quietly chuckled.

“Nice of you to leave all the cleaning to me.”

“Seems like you did just fine without me,” Ava responded. Flashing Yagi a playful smirk.

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling Ava closer.

“Still,” Yagi said. “You didn’t have to leave.”

A loud knocking began to echo throughout the apartment, interrupting their conversation before he could hear Ava respond

They rose from the couch, surprised at the unexpected visitor, before Ava pulled away from Yagi’s grasp and disappeared into the bedroom.

The knocking only ceased as he swung the door open to see the familiar face of a young man, standing at the doorway with a pair of suitcases by his feet.

“Finally,” he exclaimed. Eagerly shuffling past Yagi with his bags dragging behind as he entered. “Felt like I was dying out there.”

Yagi stood by him in a confused silence. Not processing what he’d said or what was happening, but still receiving his coat as he removed it to put away.

“Gotta say,” he said as he rubbed his hands for warmth, “not the reaction I was hoping for.”

Stepping closer before Yagi could turn, he clasped his hand down firmly on the back of Yagi’s neck sending a burning chill down his back.

“Just wasn’t expecting anyone, Michael,” he explained. Freeing his neck only to have his arms restrained by his side as Michael caught him in a hug.

“I’ve been texting you since yesterday. Didn’t you see?” he asked.

Slowly prying his arms apart, Yagi answered, “Must’ve missed them.”

He stepped away from Michael, keeping an arm raised for distance

“Thought you were just ignoring me”, he responded. His hands opened and shut like pincers, keeping both arms raised and aimed at Yagi.

Distracting him with a cup of coffee was enough to throw Michael off his pursuit. Moving into the living room, he began to explain his reason for visiting. Unfortunate timing resulted in his building’s heating system needing a repair. Altogether it would take a few days but till it was fixed he needed a place to stay.

Despite once being close friends, neither had reached out for some time. Other priorities had taken focus in each’s lives, and before realizing it, days of silence melted into weeks or months. Staring at an old friend, peaking from one eye as he held his hands clasped in prayer, Yagi pushed away a smile before reluctantly agreeing to let Michael stay.

Having fended off Michael’s attempts to hug him, Yagi watched as he brought his bags into the living room and began to unpack. The sun outside slowly began to set. The shadows on the walls grew taller as they spoke.

With an empty cup, Michael disappeared into the kitchen for a refill. From behind the sofa, Yagi could hear the bedroom door open. Turning his head, he watched as Ava reentered the living room, walked around the couch and sat to his right. Taking his hand into hers and squeezing tight.

Walking with slow strides for balance, Michael kept his eyes glued to his cup as he returned to his seat.

“Almost forgot to ask,” he remarked. “Where’s Ava?”

Yagi’s right arm felt like a brittle stone. Lifeless, fragile, cold. His neck began to tense and ache as his heart’s desire to face her fought against his mind’s pleas not to. A knot formed in his throat, keeping his words trapped as he struggled to find any strength to answer. Solemnly, Yagi’s eyes fell towards the floor. Waves of denied emotions and thoughts entering his mind in an instant. Broken dreams and hopes for a better future, reforming for a moment before being crushed again by reality.

“She’s gone,” he lamented.

Silence echoed through the apartment, both unable to find the right words to say. Michael leaned forwards, gingerly placing his hand on Yagi’s shoulder with a heavy sigh.

“So,” he asked, “this mean I can use your bed instead?”

His question stood like a dam against the raging current of thoughts in Yagi’s mind. Turning towards Michael, who watched with a burning curiosity in his eyes, he struggled to respond. The corners of his mouth simply curled upwards, growing into a smile that spread to Michael. Inexplicable laughter escaped his mouth as the room’s silence disappeared.

Outside the setting sun vanished behind buildings leaving the room a dark, pale blue. Finally able to catch his breath, Yagi switched on a lamp, flooding the room with a warm yellow light as he explained to his friend what had happened.

“A month ago?” Michael questioned. “Why’d you never say anything?”

“Still doesn’t feel real,” Yagi replied. “Like I’ll wake up at any moment and things will return to how they were.”

“Staying cooped in here for the past few weeks probably didn’t help. Surprised you didn’t starve,” Michael said.

“I just don't want to go out. It's freezing,” Yagi claimed.

“I’ll give you that. It’s much nicer here,” Michael responded. He reclined onto the sofa. “Enough to make walking through the snow worth it.”

“Why did you?” Yagi asked. “I never replied to your messages.”

“Because I was cold,” Michael stated.

“It wasn’t worse outside?”

“Oh, much worse,” he remarked. “Felt like turning back with each step.”

Michael pressed his elbows on his knees as he sat up.

“But I’m glad I didn’t. If I stayed home, nothing would have changed. Walking through the cold outside is the only reason I’m able to feel warm now,” he added.

“Yeah,” Yagi sighed, “you might have a point.”

“Course I do. Plus now you won’t have to be alone,” Michael exclaimed.

Yagi found solace in his friend's words and presence, thanking him with a smile before standing to leave the living room for the night.

Pausing with his hand on the bedroom handle, Yagi glanced back at Michael. His head peered over the back of the sofa, a wide grin appearing on his face as their eyes met.

“See you tomorrow,” he called out.

“Sure, now go to sleep, will you?” Yagi responded. He turned away from his friend, his smile fading. Quickly twisting the handle before entering and turning to shut the door behind him.

He stared down at the faint strip of yellow light leaking into the bedroom. A heavy exhale escaped his mouth as he leaned forward, gently resting his forehead on the cold, dull wooden door. Turning to his right, he could see moonlight shining through the window onto his bed.

He pushed himself away from the door, each step more draining than the last as he approached. Yagi stared down at the faintly traced figure of a woman hidden under white linen, appearing buried beneath freshly fallen snow.

With the linen pulled to his neck, Yagi was bathed in a warmth that seemed to sap away any strength he had left. His mind became foggy, thoughts melting into each other before disappearing without a clear image. Staring at the ceiling Yagi felt his eyelids grow heavy. The last strip of light disappeared from beneath the door as his eyes shut.

Sunlight flooded the room, painting Yagi’s vision red. Turning away from the window, he opened his eyes to see an empty mattress. He trembled as he rose from bed. Pulling the sheets off his frail body, he was met with an immediate chill that seemed to emanate from the walls.

Yagi pulled the bedroom door open, his feet scraping against the floor as he walked past the disorganized living room and into the kitchen. Stepping over piled trash bags, he stared blankly into the empty fridge, closing the door with a sigh. Finding only crumbs of instant coffee left in his cabinet, he set water to boil and watched aimlessly as bubbles began to form and burst as they rose. Mixed together, the crumbs dissolved, leaving the water almost unchanged. His hands trembled as he brought the cup to his mouth and took a sip.

On the counter by the stove, his eyes were pulled to a small turned over slip of paper. He placed his glass down and reached over, bringing it into view.

It was a photo of him and Ava. In it, he was holding the camera high in his left hand pointing at them as they sat together. Their fingers were interlocked, her face was turned as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Tears began to fill his eyes, blurring his vision and rolling down his face before landing on the photo. It fell to the ground, slipping through his fingers as his arm continued to shake.

Yagi clutched his aching hand as he felt it grow colder. Pulling it to his chest before swiftly walking away from the picture, stumbling over bags of trash and back into the bedroom. He slammed the door shut, climbing into bed as he pulled the sheets over his head.

Laying on his side, Yagi curled his body. His hand outstretched lifelessly beneath the sheets. Through the sound of clattering teeth, he desperately tried to silence his mind. But even as he forced his eyes shut, he could still see her face.

Yagi pulled his knees tighter to his chest as the apartment’s atmosphere continued to seep through the linen into his frail body. Neither the cold nor his tears stopped as he slept. But this was his only way to feel warm.