The Crypt

Fiction Suspense Thriller

Written in response to: "Write a story about a character who is haunted by something or someone." as part of The Graveyard Shift.

That was the stupidest thing he'd ever done, and he had a long history of doing them. His classmates dared him to go down into the abandoned crypt in the cemetery. He said yes without hesitation. Idiot.

Her legs trembled with every step she descended; the silence was deafening.“Sepulchral? Bad example,”He thought, frightened. Only broken by a drop that insisted on falling rhythmically into a puddle. He went down another step; the mold and dampness made him slip. He went down four steps on his bottom:

“Shit,” he shouted.

His voice resonated like his conscience. ’What am I doing here?’ He wondered. He jumped when he felt something running near her leg, screamed, her heart racing even faster than it already was. He leaned against the wall to stand up, touched something slimy and wet, and when he stirred it, it released a nauseating smell. He rubbed her hand on her white t-shirt to clean it, instantly regretting it; her parents would kill her. He had just worn it for the first time, and worse, the putrid smell would cling to him.

‘I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.” He thought, but in his head echoed the clucking of hens. He cursed his bravado.

He remembered that not long ago he'd done something else silly that seemed less serious. During a school trip to the zoo, a group of his classmates—the same ones who'd dared him to go down into the crypt—took his phone, passing it around until one of them threw it into the moose enclosure. He thought that, even though they were big, they were harmless. Damn Disney.

He climbed onto the fence carefully, making sure not to be seen. His group of classmates watched him intently, laughing. Ursula approached him, very worried.

“What are you doing? It's forbidden and dangerous. I'll tell the teacher.”

“Don't worry. I'll go in, grab my phone, and come right back out. It'll only take a second. Besides, they're pulling Santa's sleigh; they're harmless.”

"The animals pulling the sleigh are reindeer." There was an awkward silence. "Forget your phone, it's not worth the risk. Don't be an idiot."

"When have I ever done anything stupid," she asked, doubting himself.

“Are you seriously asking that,” Ursula said, stunned.

He jumped in, she gave up, went to find help, and didn't want to see the spectacle.

He was moving slowly, everything was going very well, until he reached the mobile phone, ‘What the hell is this?’ He thought to himself as he held the case of an old cell phone. He looked at his companions. They were all laughing as one of them showed him his phone.

"Bastards," he whispered before receiving the first charge from the alpha moose. Then the animal danced on his ribs. The last thing he remembered was two angels dressed in brown with the zoo's logo on their chests, coming to rescue him.

Going down into the Langstone crypt was even more stupid.

The flashlight his classmates had given him barely illuminated his path; its batteries were deader than the bikini photo of the hottest actress. Stepping off the last step, he dipped his foot into a puddle of water, the level reaching his ankle. Floating on its surface were… things, perhaps leaves, but his active imagination conjured up more disturbing objects. “Bones don’t float,” he told himself as he moved forward.

In the midst of his despair he felt relief; if that wasn't the top floor, the next one would be flooded, impossible to access, so he did as he said; he could return like a hero, at least in his mind.

It was then, as he turned around, that the faint beam of his flashlight reflected a blue ray emerging from the water. “It can’t be,” he thought. When he looked directly at it, that dull glimmer disappeared, but when he turned away, it reappeared. Doubts assailed him, and his conscience compelled him to approach the spot, stirring the water with each step, making a splashing sound that reminded him of killer crocodile movies… “Damn imagination.”

Through the murky water, he couldn't see anything, and he couldn't understand how the flashlight could illuminate that thing in the distance while it emitted no light when he was right above it. He decided the only way to get rid of it was to put his hand underwater and grope for what was shining. He swallowed, hesitant, his pulse racing so fast he could hear his own heartbeat.

Finally, holding his breath, he reached in, not knowing why. He touched something rounded, elongated, hard—it could be the bluish stone he was looking for. He gripped it tightly and pulled. The dim light of his flashlight illuminated it, but it wasn't blue, nor was it a decoration; it was the skull of a small animal, possibly a rat. He screamed in terror at the discovery:

“But what am I doing,” he shouted to himself.

He'd had enough, but as he turned around, he saw the blue glow again, as if it were toying with him, challenging him. Without thinking, he submerged his hand again; this time, the stone he'd been searching for emerged, confirming his feat. But when he pulled it in, he saw a steel cable holding it, so he pulled harder to tear it off.

He heard a loud, dry sound, and the water began to recede as if he had opened a drain. He was relieved to no longer get his feet wet, but then he heard a sound that chilled him to the bone: a low growl and heavy breathing. His head told him not to turn around, but he forgot to tell his body. In the dim light, he saw a hunched, humanoid figure moving tentatively, sniffing the air. He tried to walk toward the exit, but stepped on the creature's skull. The being jumped, landing beside him. He saw its whitish eyes; it seemed blind. He sniffed the air, and at that moment he was glad he had been stained with the putrid mold that covered his clothes and prevented the creature from detecting him.

After taking a breath, the creature leaped to the other side of the room and caught a snake in its teeth, which it began to devour. It was time to flee. Very slowly, it began to climb the stairs and move away. Once outside the crypt, it ran without looking back, heading for its home.

Posted Nov 17, 2025
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12 likes 1 comment

Carolyn X
21:09 Nov 29, 2025

Hello, I was sent your story to critique. The first thing I noticed is that your protagonist is sometimes male and sometimes female you need to pick one and stick with it. This is a good idea for a story. Keep writing

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