After the beep

Monday 20 April 2020

Voicemail message 1

17:19

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"I know you are never going to hear this.

You would probably find this weird. Me talking to a phone as if it could listen. Yeah, you definitely would. You were never the type of person to support this kind of stuff: fate and all that. You would get mad when I would drink orange juice before a game, or always wear my yellow socks for good luck. Yeah, you're not the superstitious type, for sure."

Pause.

"I don't even know why I'm doing this."

Thursday 30 April 2020

Voicemail message 2

20:52

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"You didn't respond to my message.

Of course you didn't, what was I thinking? You are... Well... nowhere near your phone anymore. Even if you were, you never charged it. Do you remember that? I swear, you thought the phone was an optional accessory. I would bully you for that all the time, since you would answer my messages weeks later. I'm sorry that was an exaggeration - a few days, but still, longer than I would like."

Laughs.

"I would ask you if you are free on Wednesday, and on Friday, you would reply that you are not! So yeah... " Pause.

"You probably didn’t even know that voicemail still exists. There's really no point in me doing this. I promise I will stop."

Tuesday 5 May 2020

Voicemail message 3

14:34

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"I am sorry. I know I promised I would stop, but I think you would want to hear this. You know Mr Briggs? He finally retired today. That means you won the bet! The one we made after he got a heart attack. You won't hear this, but if you do, and you want your 5 bucks, you know where to find me;"

Pause.

"just where I was when you left."

Friday 8 May 2020

Voicemail message 4

9:23

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"I guess you don't want your 5 bucks!

Sorry, I don't know why I said that. Forget it. Although it doesn't really surprise me. You were never too much into money, I mean, everyone slightly is, but you wouldn't mind if I owed you a bit every once in a while. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's much more than that now, with all the chocolate chip cookies you brought me at the bakery over the years, I might as well buy you a car now. If..."

Inhales.

"Well, I don't have funds for that either. I guess you are going to have to wait."

Saturday 9 May 2020

Voicemail message 5

19:45

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"I know you would be getting really annoyed with me if you heard these, although you never will, so I just want to repeat, I'm sorry. You won't hear it, but it will give me peace of mind.

Although that might not be enough, you would probably start to freak out about how your phone now has way too much information about you. And if you did, I would tell you that the fact that you hate my yellow socks, you buy me chocolate chip cookies, and that you want a car wouldn't make you the prime target in some kind of secret operation. Straight out of a James Bond movie."

Wednesday 13 May 2020

Voicemail message 6

20:20

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"There was a movie marathon at the cinema today, and I watched 8 James Bond movies back to back. It was great. They also added a cheese popcorn flavour, but that's beside the point. I'm sure if you were here, you would've loved it too. Let it feed your fantasies about secret agents in your phone."

Pause with a sharp inhale.

"The ticket lady asked me if I wanted 2 tickets. She probably still remembers you from when we would go together. I had to tell her that just one was enough. "

Another pause.

"I'm sorry, you really don't need to know that."

Thursday 14 May 2020

Voicemail message 7

11:12

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"I just came back from the mall. I saw Mr Briggs. The old man must be enjoying retirement. Who wouldn't? Honestly, it's just sad you have to be sixty-five to just chill again. Whatever, not what I wanted to talk... tell you. I was with my brother, and we saw a pigeon. That poor bird got all confused and was flying around the mall. Good thing you weren't there. You would probably climb the walls to get it out."

Inhale exhale.

"Yeah, that's all. It's kind of stupid, sorry."

Saturday 16 May 2020

Voicemail message 8

01:58

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

“It's weird, talking to you as if you were here, when it's actually just your phone.”

Chuckles.

“You know, every time I start to talk after the little beep. I can almost hear you say, “Moving on is a part of life.” I don’t believe you. Life shouldn’t be this cruel. I bet you wouldn’t act any differently if it were the other way around. You'd be as pathetic as me, sending voicemail messages, like in some kind of indie movie. Or maybe you wouldn't, ever the strong one.”

Sunday 11 October 2020

Voicemail message 1

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep.

22:46

"I want my 5 bucks. Also, you are a creep."